I decided to go ahead and put this up, since I already have it and honestly, Booty was just way too short for my personal standards. This one doesn't really have any humor, it's pretty just normal and mellow in the feelings department. Maybe that will cancel out the ridulousity of the last chapter?

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed!


Rated: T

(I think I'm doing this rating thing wrong)

WARNING: BAD ACCENTS. VERY BAD ACCENTS. DON'T BOTHER TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE ACCENT PART OF IT. Tsunamis, mentions of mistrust and disobediance of a higher authority, mentions of running away from home, ONE SINGLE CURSE WORD, a bad ending, angry book-verse Toothless, a human-kissing-ghost thing.

Disclaimer: I in no way, shape, or form have chosen to bring in revenue from this writing. This is for educational purposes only. I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, Brave, Tangled, a ship, a ghost, a Valkyrie, a secret way to survive a tsunami in the middle of the sea.


Day 4: Catastrophe

"Captain!"

Captain Horrendous squinted against the raging storm as if the gallons of rain and turbulent waves were simply light summer breezes against his winter coat. He searched, and waited, but could see nothing over the giant tsunami. What in Woden's name were they going to do now?

"CAPTAIN!"

He whirled around with a vicious snarl. "Aye know, Merita!"

The Scottswoman snarled right back. "Git yoor stankin' head outtah yoor arse and HELP US NOT DIE!"

With a single gesture, Toothless sailed off his shoulders and right into her nest of red curls, squawking and squabbling and pecking at her like only a proper nuisance could. Captain Horrendous marched to the helm and gripped the wheel with arms and legs strengthened from years at sea. With a determined gaze, he stared straight at the tsunami that stretched as far as the eye could see.

"No one is tyin' on mai ship!"

He yanked the wheel around with a yell and spun the ship so that their Valkyrie figurehead was pouring her ale towards the tsunami. Merida managed to swat the dragon away from her face long enough to squeak in shock. "Heccup! Yuu bloody FOOL, are yuu tryin' t' kell us–"

"Merida!"

The Scottswoman looked to her blonde friend. The previously sweet girl had the fiercest expression Merida had ever seen. "I know you're new, but trust our Captain. He will get us through this." Her gaze was hard with absolute trust and extreme admiration for the person of which she spoke. "No one ever dies on his ships."

Merida swallowed down her fear and tried to drag her courage back from the bottom of her belly.

Captain Horrendous gritted his teeth with the effort of keeping the ship steady. "Thank ye, Repunzal! Coult'ya to me a flavah ant get Frost?"

The cook/medic nodded. "Aye aye, Cap'n!" With a salute, she whipped her head around and sped off to the cabins, her blonde hair and pink cloak trailing after her.

"Fishlegs!"

The large navigator shrieked and jumped back into reality, eyes watery and almost blubbering all over himself. "C-Captain!"

"Open all th' masts! When Repunzal returns, summon Frost ant tirect him to me!"

"Y-Yes, Captain!"

The man rushed off to complete his tasks, slipping around on deck like he had shoes made of soap.

"Flynn, Tuff, you help get those masts open!"

"Aye!" The pair sped off, grabbing onto ropes and swinging themselves forward for better leverage.

"Merita!"

The redhead whipped her attention back to her Captain, who looked her straight in the eye.

"Aye neet you to go ant relieve Ruff of her tuty. Bolt town everything you see on your way there, ant make sure our captive is secure. Might as well secure yerselves, too." The man smiled, and Merida realized just how insane he truly was. "This is gonna be a bumpy rite!"

They were in a catastrophe, and yet everyone was relatively… calm about it. Like it was an everyday occurrence. It was all she could do to nod and obey.

By the time she'd made it to Ruffnut, she could hear the deafening roar of the tsunami all the way to the lower level of the ship. The wood was groaning with the effort to withstand the pull of the ocean, and Merida could feel her heart wrestling its way right out of her mouth. Fuck that, it seemed all her innards were aching to spill out of every hole, every pore it could. For the first time in her life, she understood what terror truly was.

And as she stumbled into the prisons to find Ruffnut already tied down, her and their prisoner Princess Astrid both having an air of nonchalance with underlying excitement–

And afterwards, when they'd miraculously survived the catastrophic tsunami–she wouldn't ask, she swore to herself, she wouldn't–and began celebrating like the barbarians they were–

And even after that, when they were all wasted and her head was a muddled mess that she thought she saw Captain Horrendous and Ghostly Frost kiss–

She suddenly realized that to want to live on the sea was to be a fucking maniac.

Oh how she wished she'd never run away from her duties now.