Disclaimer:

Ryouko: Hello everyone. Believe it or not, in this disclaimer I shall not torture Himizu…

Himizu: About damn time.

Ryouko: Shut up. Anyways, the reason for this is because we have joined together in a common goal. First off we don't own YYH, but more sadly…WE DON'T OWN THE EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE! T.T So today we two shall mourn this sad fact by…singing!

Ryouko and Himizu: KKUUUZZZZCOOOOO! What's his name? (this is going to continue for a while, so onto the fic!)

Chapter 4: After the Fireballs and Landmines

"Soooo…" said Kitsune slowly.

"Why am I thinking of Kronk in The Emperor's New Groove? You know, the part where Kronk is talking to the squirrel and it's squeaking and squealing and he's talking to it and Yzma's going, 'Why me, why me?' That's what I'm thinking of right now," Himizu finally stated.

"That's the best movie!" And Kitsune began to sing one of the songs from the movie. "KKUUUZZZCCCCCOOOOOOO! What's his name? KKUUUZZZCCCCCOOOOOOO! Is he hip or what? KKUUUZZZCCCCCOOOOOOO! He's the king of the world! KKUUUZZZCCCCCOOOOOOO!" As she sang, she danced around energetically, trying her very best to imitate Kuzco's method of dance. Hiei stuck out his foot and tripped her. Immediately she was on her feet yelling, "GAH! You threw off my groove!" Then she put on a mock pout and turned her back on him. Himizu jumped eagerly forward, grabbing the fire demon around the neck with both hands.

"I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the emperor's groove." Then she mustered all her strength, picked Hiei up and threw him through the air. "Hey, you're not saying your line! You're supposed to be yelling…" She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with air. "SSSOOOORRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYY!" she bellowed.

"Oh brother," said Kurama.

"Roar grrrrr roar roar grr?" asked the dragon.

"Yes, Kitsune's singing is always that bad, and yes, Himizu's always that loud, obnoxious and annoying," Ryouko replied. "I have such aggravating friends."

"HEY! You take that back, you vile and villainous vermin!" exclaimed Himizu.

"Yeah! My singing isn't always that bad, is it Kurama-kun?" Kitsune asked her dream redhead.

"Uh… well… er… um…" he stammered.

"Please tell me, Kurama, I know you'll never lie to me," said Kitsune, gazing at him with starry eyes.

"Well… I… er… maybe I… maybe I've just never really heard you sing a whole lot…"

"Will you just tell her in plain words?" urged Ryouko.

A scrap of paper was thrust into Kurama's hand. He looked up and saw Hiei standing there with a pencil in his hand. He opened the paper and read aloud, "Kitsune, your singing sucks. It always has and it always will." Kitsune put on a hurt puppy look. Himizu frowned.

"Isn't that a bit harsh?" she asked. "I mean, don't you think her singing could improve with time…?"

"By the way," asked Kitsune. "Since when have you been able to write? And where did you get the paper and pencil? Wait! Never mind. I don't even want to know."

"How bad could it be?" asked Himizu. "There's only so much you can do to get paper and pencils..." Hiei casually flicked blood off his katana and hands. There was an awful lot of it. And the marks on the paper were red… "Then again…" said Himizu after a moments pause.

Kurama suddenly snorted with laughter. Ryouko turned towards him. "What's so funny?" she asked.

Kurama couldn't stop himself from grinning. "I was just imagining Kuwabara and Yusuke's reactions to this journey."

"Good thing they're staying inside your imagination. I don't think I could bear it if they had seen this," Kitsune shook her head and pulled a brush out of her pocket and began brushing her hair.

Kurama flushed. "Ummm… Actually, we will learn their reactions later..."

Himizu, Ryouko, and Kitsune all turned to face him. "WHAT did you say!" they demanded together.

Kurama muttered vaguely about telling the other two boys about a hidden camera that was tracking their every move. Himizu punched him furiously.

"WHAT THE HELL POSESSED YOU TO DO THAT? BAKA IDIOT!"

"Himizu! Don't you dare yell at Kurama-kun!" exclaimed Kitsune. She turned to him. "WHY THE HECK DID YOU TELL THEM ABOUT THE CAMERA, YOU IDIOT!" She burst into tears. "AND I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT ME! BUT YOU DON'T! I'VE BEEN BETRAYED! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ryouko, Himizu, Hiei, Kurama, and the dragon all stared at her. "Uhhhhhhh……… -.-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;" Kurama looked around awkwardly.

"That's not how it is, Kitsune. I didn't realize that all these things would happen. I thought it would be a good way to be more secure. I never would have done it if I'd known that you would be so upset." Kitsune stopped crying and looked up at him. Then she hugged him joyfully, nearly breaking his ribs.

Himizu rolled her eyes. "He really is an idiot. That was probably his one chance of freedom, and what does he do with it? Throws it away to comfort her because he can't bear to see her cry. Kurama, don't you know that Kitsune's an actress and a politician as well as a singer…?"

"And a really bad one at that," added Ryouko. Kitsune whimpered and turned her head away from the girls to ignore them.

"And I thought Kuwabara was stupid," Himizu continued. "Oh well, let's go. How do you want to kill the other demons anyway?"

"Ahhh, let's let Kurama and Hiei have a little fun. They're probably bored by now," said Ryouko. She was now petting the dragon. Himizu twitched.

"I don't even want to know. Okay, you heard the woman. Get moving boys."

Hiei darted off rapidly, mentally calling Himizu every ghastly name he could think of. Kurama grinned and followed. Soon the terrified screams of demons filtered through the trees. Himizu grinned. "Let's go. I think they're ready." Kitsune reluctantly climbed onto the four-wheeler, but Ryouko shook her head.

"I'm riding Double-D."

Himizu's eyes rapidly expanded. "WHAT THE HELL!"

"That's what I'm calling the dragon. Stands for Dark Dragon."

"I can think of a whole bunch of names I would rather call him, and they're not too pleasant either. But if you want to ride him, you do that. Have fun. The four-wheeler has better traction and I would rather have control over what I'm riding anyways." She gunned the engine and the four-wheeler shot off. The dragon flinched as Himizu barely missed a tree.

"Grrrrrrrr roar grr roar," he muttered.

"Tell me about it. It's suicide to ride that thing. Especially when she's driving. After I get it that won't be a problem. Do me a favor, will you? Save their necks." Ryouko leaned closer and whispered something to the dragon, who nodded eagerly. Then they took off after the four-wheeler.

Kitsune was hanging on for dear life as Himizu followed the sound of the cries. There was a roar behind them, but Himizu kept going. "Ryouko is such an idiot. Doesn't she realize I'm trying to drive?" Both girls jumped as a ball of black fire sped past them.

"BAIL! DO YOU HEAR ME? BAIL OUT! JUMP! NOW!" Ryouko yelled as another ball sped past.

"The captain always goes down with her ship and the ship is never to be surrendered," Himizu called back.

"You're not on a ship, so shut up and jump!" Ryouko hollered back.

"Never! You'll never take me alive! You'll have to kill me first!"

"Don't tempt me," Ryouko answered, swooping past on the dragon and grabbing Kitsune, who was more then eager to come. Then the dragon hurled another fireball at Himizu's head. "Hey, wait for my signal!" Ryouko yelled angrily. Himizu turned at the shout and immediately did an impression of someone who had just received an electric shock. Her hair stood on end and she gave a startled cry halfway between a scream and a yelp.

"YIPE! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" She ducked rapidly and the fireball flew over her head, singeing several of her flyaway hairs in the process. The ball continued to fly until it reached the crest of a hill where a crowd of nearly a dozen demons were fleeing in terror from something behind them. The fireball hit them like a thunderbolt and they were all wiped out more effectively then if a nuclear bomb had hit them. There was a black blur chasing them, which screeched to a halt as the many shrieking demons vanished in a rush of black flame. Hiei stared at the spot where the demons had vanished and threw off his black cloak.

"Hiei-chan, you look so adorable without your shirt on!" cried Ryouko.

"Cretin!" hissed Himizu. Hiei ignored the girls and threw his cloak onto the ground and began to jump furiously up and down on it waving his katana and moving his mouth rapidly. He was obviously trying to yell at them. There was a burst of vicious squeaking and then, like an erupting volcano, a torrent of words came flowing out from his mouth.

"RACKA FRACKA FLIPPIN WALLA FRAPPIN YABBA DABBA POPPA CHOPPA FLIP BANG SNAGGA WAGGA DING DONG! #$&$#& $!$ $$& &&#$$& &#&&& #$&$& && #$&$&!"

"Are you angry, Hiei?" asked Himizu. Hiei glared at her.

"$$#&&& $$&$&& #&&& $!"

"Oh shut up, you annoying bombastic baka freak. Why is it that good things come to those who wait, but then they never get that good thing for any decent length of time? It's just not fair. By the way, why didn't you kill the demons?"

Hiei looked as though he would have loved to throttle her just then, but Kurama came strolling up over the crest of the hill. He looked around. "Well, I guess you found a way to get rid of the demons on your own. Very ingenious." Hiei cursed some more, causing Kitsune to press her hands over her ears. "What did I say?" wondered Kurama.

"Oh, that psycho fire demon is all mad at us because Ryouko and that dragon sent all those demons to Hell while they were trying to kill me…" Himizu explained. Hiei immediately stopped cursing and listened intently. Then he turned to Ryouko.

"I didn't realize you were trying to kill that annoying ningen. I suppose I can begrudge you a few demons in gratitude for that."

"Some gratitude. Do you even know what 'begrudge' means?" asked Himizu.

"Why don't you tell us anyway, Miss Dictionary?" asked Ryouko, sounding annoyed. Himizu, however, took the opportunity to go into her favorite subject: vocabulary.

"Begrudge, a verb, has three main definitions. 1. To feel ill will or resentment at the possession or employment of something by another, i.e. to begrudge another's fortune.

2. To regard with displeasure or disapproval. 3. To give with ill will or reluctance, i.e. to begrudge them every cent. You, I believe, were attempting to use it in the third form, to give with ill will or reluctance. However, you aren't really giving anything, and you can't be all that reluctant about it."

"Wanna' bet?" he muttered.

"A better choice of words might have been relinquish, also a verb, meaning 1. To give up; abandon (a plan, policy, etc.) 2. To renounce or surrender (something owned, a right, etc.) 3. To let go (a grasp, hold, etc.). You would be using it in the second form, to renounce or surrender. That is more accurate. I hope you've learned something from this."

"Yeah, to never let you correct my vocabulary."

"Humph. Then I won't try to correct you next time. Use the wrong words, see if I care."

"Well, I know I won't," Ryouko muttered.

"Don't tell me you're stopping! This is amazingly informative. Vocabulary and definitions were never my favorite subjects, important as they are when one is talking, seeing as that is man's greatest talent," Kurama said.

"Shut up!" demanded Ryouko, Kitsune, and Hiei.

"Please, Kurama," Kitsune begged, glaring at Himizu and Ryouko, still resenting their earlier comments. "You don't want her to recite a whole dictionary, believe me!"

"You can recite the whole dictionary?" Kurama asked, suddenly looking at the wayward and sometimes agitating Himizu with new respect.

"Ha ha, very funny. No, I can't. But I do have a better vocabulary then my parents." Himizu grinned. "But enough of that. When you two boys were off chasing demons, did you happen to see the castle?"

"Actually we did. It's only a few more miles. On the four-wheeler, if you drive at a reasonable speed, then we'll make it in 15 minutes," Kurama replied.

"Okay, everybody hop on. And what's reasonable? Fifty? Sixty?"

"Try fifteen or twenty," Kurama suggested.

"FIFTEEN OR TWENTY?" cried Himizu. "I can't drive that slow!"

"We've noticed. You better do it or Double-D is going to reduce the four-wheeler to a twisted pile of scrap metal," Ryouko responded. "Kitsune, are you riding with me, or Himizu?"

Kitsune paused, considering this. Both options sounded nerve-wracking. But Himizu had promised to drive slowly. On the other hand, since when had Himizu ever kept a promise when it came to driving? Still, she would be with Kurama. "I'll ride with Himizu, if she promises to drive more carefully," she decided, on the basis that the dragon didn't exactly drive carefully either. And Ryouko wasn't even steering.

The drive to the castle was basically uneventful, unless you count the black dragon swooping inches away from Himizu's head, nearly causing her to run into a tree and provoking her to shower him and Ryouko with curses to rival Hiei. Kurama tried to calm Himizu without success. In fact, he was rewarded for his interference by a quick slash from Himizu's nails across the arm. Then the black dragon threw another fireball at them, this time blowing out a tire on the four-wheeler. The four-wheeler flipped and everyone was sent flying. Hiei, Kurama, and Kitsune jumped clear and Himizu sailed over the low wall surrounding the castle. As she landed, there was a deafening explosion, like the kind you see in James Bond movies. Fire and smoke swirled around Himizu, who stared around in confusion. Blinded by smoke and scorched by flames, she crawled to a clear patch of grass and sat still for a moment, nursing sore and battered limbs. Then she looked around. What had caused this horrendous explosion?

"Himizu? Are you okay?" called Kitsune, running over.

"I think so. What the hell happened here?" she wondered.

"You're okay? Darn," said Ryouko, who was sitting astride Double-D a few feet above them. Himizu made a face. Kitsune sighed in relief that they were all okay. She backhanded Ryouko on the head, saying,

"Don't be mean, you fool!"

Ryouko glared at her, rubbing the back of her head, "Ouch!" Abruptly, she cried, "You hit me with the back of your hand! You must be French!" She ran and hid behind the black dragon.

Kitsune sweatdropped, "I am NOT French!" she said in a French accent. "I am Mexican! I do speak French though! Tu est la fille que est un estupid tigre!"

"This is all very nice, but… WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED HERE? AND WHERE IS MY FOUR-WHEELER?" yelled Himizu, sounding not at all concerned that she was interrupting a very pleasant conversation.

Ryouko and Kitsune exchanged glances and pointed several feet to the left. Himizu saw a twisted pile of metal doused in black and orange flames. As soon as she saw the black, Himizu glared at the black dragon. Amazingly, she didn't speak.

"After we were thrown," Kurama, who had crept up unnoticed, explained quietly, "the dragon hurled a fireball which hit the four-wheeler. It was thrown over the wall and then there was that explosion. We thought…"

"Some of us hoped…" muttered Hiei.

"…that you'd been killed."

"Unfortunately, it's not my lucky day," Hiei said angrily.

Himizu was staring in numb shock and horror at the four-wheeler, one of her favorite things, burning down to cinders before her very eyes. Tears pricked her soot-filled eyes and she looked away quickly. "How could this happen? How was that explosion caused?"

"Probably land mines," Kurama answered.

Himizu looked up. It was a ghastly sight. Her glasses and face were covered with soot, except for some appalling white streaks that were either traces of sweat or tears. But her blue eyes were now alight with an unquenchable fire. "Did you just say land mines?" she asked eagerly.

"Uhhhh…. Did I…?" stammered Kurama, realizing what he'd done. "I don't think…"

Too late. Himizu suddenly had a metal detector in her hand and she began to patrol the grounds searching for land mines. Ryouko immediately joined her. Kitsune rolled her eyes as she looked at the pathetic remains of the four-wheeler then at Himizu, intent of finding land mines.

"What, no period of mourning?" she asked. Himizu scowled at her. Then she pulled a packet of miniature flags out of nowhere and threw them to Ryouko, who began sticking them into the ground. When they had searched the whole area, Himizu smiled.

"There. All the flags mark a land mine. Let's get digging."

"ARE YOU MAD, FOOL!" cried Hiei. "THOSE THINGS WILL BLOW YOU UP IF THEY TOUCH YOU! Wait, what am I saying? Go ahead and grab them, tight as you can. They won't hurt you."

"I'm not that stupid. I know what they'll do. But I have a secret weapon."

"What's that?"

"It's called dumb luck." Hiei did a face fault. Himizu dug up the land mines, flicked a little switch in their sides and began stacking them up. Ryouko just laid back and watched.

"Hey, why am I the one who has to do all the dirty work? You helped me out so far, now start digging!" Ryouko shook her head.

"No can do. You're the one with dumb luck, remember?" Himizu glared and went back to digging. Amazingly, none of them exploded. When she had a sizeable pile, she looked around at her five companions. "Well, we're ready to go in, right?" They all nodded and all six of them looked up at the castle walls that loomed over them. Himizu looked around at them all again. "What do you think we'll find waiting for us in there?" she wondered. No one answered, but they all got ready to go inside to face the perils within.