AN: I JUST realized I never updated this even though I updated on AO3. Super sorry about that! The next chapter will be coming soon! Plot things start to happen a little more in this one, although it's still going slowly. Just hang in there - I promise things will pick up (Eventually). XD
Lotus in the Snow (Snow Queen AU)
Chapter Three
Arnica Apologies
The slamming of the door nearly caused Alma to jump with its forcefulness, and an uncomfortable silence was left in place of Kanda's absence. Alma was definitely a bit relieved that the other young man had left. He released a breath that he had not realized that he had been holding, and his muscles relaxed as he slumped forward in the chair. 'At least he's gone, and I don't have to put up with anymore belittling for now,' Alma thought to himself, though the internal reminder did little to ease him entirely. Most likely this was because of Tiedoll – not that the man ever caused Alma any anxiety like Kanda did. But, Alma had been caught fighting in the poor man's home.
Alma inwardly cringed at this. After all Tiedoll had done for him, he could only imagine how ungrateful the whole thing must have seemed on his part.
"Alma."
The voice, although gentle, sent a trickle of nervousness through Alma. He did not exactly want to face Tiedoll, largely embarrassed by the way he had been caught acting. Very tentatively, Alma's eyes moved to meet Tiedoll's. However, upon meeting the older man's gaze Alma found his own eyes speedily retreating away, not sure if he could actually look the man in the eye at such a time.
Despite looking away, Alma could see Tiedoll sit beside him out of his peripheral vision. Not long after, he could hear Tiedoll speak. "Why don't you tell me happened?" Tiedoll implored softly, in a way that Alma could only deem fatherly. It was interesting how despite not being related to the man he could have such an air about him.
Alma sighed. How would he even explain it? Even he wasn't sure as to what had riled him up so much. "I don't know…like before I was just trying to be nice, but it's like he just hates me," Alma explained, surprised by how upset he actually felt over the whole interaction with Kanda. "I mean he probably hates me now, but before I didn't even really do anything! Last night I thought maybe he was needing a place to sleep or something, and when he left that pin of his I just wanted to return it today – I didn't realize he was actually staying here though, so…"
Trailing off, Alma ran his hand through his messy, dark hair.
Tiedoll looked at Alma with interest. "His pin?" He repeated, though he was fairly certain he knew what Alma was talking about.
"Yeah, the really nice lotus one. I found it right after he left last night and since I had already swept the nave I figured it had to have been his," Alma explained, before trying to force a weak smile. "I think giving it back to him was the only time I didn't get a murderous glare from him."
Tiedoll stroked his chin, looking thoughtful. "Hm, that's interesting," He mused, though it appeared to be more to himself than Alma. "Kanda must have really have a lot on his mind to have gotten that careless…"
Ears perking up at the murmur, Alma looked over, curiosity piqued. "What was that?"
To Alma's disappointment, Tiedoll brushed the inquiry off with a light smile. "Ah, nothing," He spoke, changing the subject before Alma had a chance to press further. "I must admit I am quite surprised with how passionately you reacted to whatever it was Kanda said though. In all the six months of you being here I've never seen you even come close to getting into a fight with anyone."
The vocalized observation made Alma blush, only because it was yet again drawing attention to how impulsively he had acted. But it was true – Alma had actually never been one to get into fights. Prior to even coming to the village Alma had always done what he could to avoid physical confrontations. Even verbal ones were avoided. Alma had simply always had the kind of personality that opted to at least attempt to talk things out. It all came back to his preference of laughter to shouting and affection to aggression.
So yes. Getting into a fight with Kanda had been highly out of character for Alma.
The look of guilt returning to his eyes, Alma's smile faltered into a look of disappointment. "I really am sorry, Tiedoll. I don't know what came over me."
Seeing the genuine regret in Alma's eyes, Tiedoll gave the boy a kind look, placing a hand on the young man's shoulders. He could see that Alma regretted the way he had acted, and saw no reason to chastise the boy – it would do nothing but worsen the situation. "I know you are, Alma," Tiedoll spoke before smiling gently. "Just….make sure not to use my house as a battlefield again, alright?"
The words were light, with a tinge of humor to them. Alma found himself smiling as a small laugh escaped his lips. "Haha, alright," He responded, feeling comforted by Tiedoll's words. That was probably one of the things Alma liked best about Tiedoll; the man just had such a kind way of expressing things, and was quite emotionally in tune with those around him. Alma had found the quality to be rare in most people. Having been raised all over the place and never having a stable upbringing, Alma had been around a wide range of individuals – but most were harsh, and abrasive. Nothing like Tiedoll.
None of them had quite been like Kanda either.
'Why am I already thinking about him again?' Alma wondered, not sure as to why the tumultuous young man had already returned to his thoughts. And why should Alma have even cared? It was not as though as he had been terribly concerned with how people thought of him before – at least not to the point where it was nearly maddening to Alma.
Not realizing that a more pensive looked had passed onto his face, Alma unintentionally exposed his inner musings to Tiedoll. "I wouldn't worry too much about Kanda," Tiedoll spoke suddenly, causing Alma to look over in slight surprise. "He…is not necessarily the most agreeable person. And I'm fairly certain he doesn't hate you."
Alma frowned slightly, not necessarily believing Tiedoll. Resting his chin in the palm of his hand, he looked forward with a ponderous expression. "Why is he like that even?" Alma asked, unable to keep his curiosity in check any longer. Kanda was just….well, Alma couldn't describe it. It was like he had a perpetual dark cloud following him wherever he went, raining total gloom and displeasure incessantly. "He's so…." Alma trailed off, not sure what adjective to even use for Kanda. He almost said "mean" but for whatever reason that did not seem adequate.
Tiedoll paused. While he had mentioned Kanda before to Alma, he had avoided going into too much detail with Kanda's personal life. He imagined it would probably be best to maintain some distance, especially since Kanda would have likely reacted poorly to the prospect of Alma learning such sensitive information.
"Well…" Tiedoll started, trying to find the words, "Kanda was always a moody little boy. Independent, and liked to keep to himself."
As Tiedoll spoke this, a fond smile appeared on his face, as though he were recalling some good memories in his reflection. "He definitely was never shy about what he disliked. That obviously hasn't changed," He added with a small chuckle. As the chuckle died, a far off look appeared in Tiedoll's eyes, as though he was remembering something specific. A sparkle of sadness flickered, and his voice was lower than it had been seconds prior. "I imagine he felt like he had to grow up fairly quickly though. That boy saw far too much as a child."
To this, Alma was listening intently. He had not been oblivious to the odd look in Tiedoll's eyes – the kind of look that was rare, but on a few small occasions Alma had thought he had caught glimpses of. For this reason Alma waited before speaking, wondering if Tiedoll would elaborate any more.
Seeming to realize how closely Alma was listening, Tiedoll waved his hand, changing tones abruptly. "But that's a story for another time! "
Alma fought the urge to face palm. 'H-He's going to just leave me hanging like that!?'
Seemingly unaware of Alma's blatant disappointment, Tiedoll carried on, changing the subject before Alma could get a chance to ask for any further details. "Anyhow, it seems you have a little cleaning up to do."
For a moment Alma look bewildered, not sure what Tiedoll meant. But then he glanced around the living room, and realized that while no permanent damage had been done, the room had been left in a…disarray.
Laughing nervously, Alma tried to ignore the heat rising to his face. "Hehe…yeah. I'll get on that," He agreed, silently cursing Kanda for leaving himself to pick up for the mess left by them both.
Tiedoll nodded, appreciation evident in his features. "Thank you, Alma. And don't worry about Kanda – he's not off the hook by any means."
Alma took in Tiedoll's words, not saying much else. With how Kanda had acted so far, Alma couldn't imagine how Tiedoll had supposedly helped to raise someone like that – but he pushed out the thoughts of Kanda when he could, determined not to waste his time on the moody enigma.
Kanda's abrupt departure had been met with an icy rush of air that in his opinion should not have belonged in November. The sky was pale – not necessarily gray, but more of a faded blue with wisps of light gray clouds encompassing it like gauze. The whole color scheme of the earth appeared muted, with pale colors fading into the browns and yellows of the earth. Even the vibrancy of red and orange that was normally associated with autumn had already melted away, leaving but pale echoes of their rich colors.
'I really hate this season,' Kanda thought, the bitterness dancing in his mind.
He was already in a horrible mood to begin with. The whole fight with Alma had really ticked Kanda off (especially with the whole "tight ass" comment), and Tiedoll walking in on it had only made things worse. This was for several reasons: the first being that Kanda did not get to finish pummeling Alma (which he would have been successful at despite the few hits Alma had gotten in) and the second being that there was no way Kanda would be able to talk to Tiedoll without getting one of those damn talks of his. Hell, Kanda could just hear Tiedoll's chiding, fatherly tone already.
Kanda certainly didn't need that of all things.
It had been a few moments before Kanda even thought about where he was actually walking to. He had not made a conscious decision to actually go anywhere specific, but he quickly realized he was almost back at the home his parents had lived in. He almost wanted to call it "home" in his mind, since that would have made the most sense, but found himself resisting. 'It's not home anymore,' Kanda told himself.
Yet he was walking there as though it were. But where else would he go?
He realized he could have just left, and possibly continued on. Tiedoll had wanted him to stay, but the man couldn't have forced Kanda to. It was not as though Kanda was bothering to stay to appease the man either, as frankly he felt quite irritated with Tiedoll.
'But why…'
Kanda did not even finish the silent inquiry, as he soon enough found himself back at the place where he had spent his childhood. It was a different experience seeing it in the daytime; the previous night, Kanda had only seen the faint, familiar outlines in the darkness. This had therefore diluted the impact of seeing his old house, even if it only had been a year and a half since he had last been within it. But now, with everything in clear sight, Kanda felt a pang of something he instinctively fought to repress. Indigo eyes latched onto the bits of familiarity like a moth drawn to a flame: the aged wooden door that probably still creaked, the window to the right of it that Kanda used to look out from when he was a child….all the things that had strangely enough not changed.
Whenever he went back inside, he would probably see in the hallway the spot where his mother used to measure how tall he was getting – which had of course not had any additional markings since he was eight. Kanda had stopped caring about such trivial things like height measurements that year.
For whatever reason he had never bothered to paint over it.
Kanda did not go inside right away. Instead, he remained out in the front, walking closer to the right portion of the yard. It was there that he knelt down, where the soil was particularly soft in comparison to the rest of the cold, hardened earth that November had brought. Kanda was mildly surprised to see some herbs had actually been growing there without any signs of struggle. The spot had been a garden – it had been the one his parents tended to, as they had practiced herbalism as a primary occupation. The village was small, and did not have medical facilities like the larger towns and cities. As a result, most people in the area relied on more natural remedies in order to combat injuries and ailments.
Kanda's parents had therefore been who must people turned to when such complications arose in their lives. They had been well-learned in their craft – especially Kanda's mother, Lien. The woman had been quite skilled in understanding the way plants worked, and it was a trait that some people even thought Kanda may have inherited. It had become more evident following the aftermath of Kanda's parents dying. Even with Tiedoll's help, Kanda had needed to make a living somehow – and despite his age, he had quickly begun to taken up some of his parents' former practice in order to get by. It was not necessarily his favorite thing considering he so greatly disliked most people, but it helped and prevented Kanda from being just some helpless orphan who everyone pitied.
And it was therapeutic. Kanda had never stated such out loud, but deep down the feeling was there. Perhaps it was because it was something that he just found calming, or maybe it was because heaven forbid it was the only thing that made him feel normal – like he was some kid simply helping out his parents, waiting them to come back from one of their trips.
'Except they never came back,' Kanda thought, his mind briefly flickering to that night.
That was why they had left that day in the first place. There had been a small outbreak of sickness in the next town over, and Kanda's parents in their kindness had naturally gone to help with what they could.
What an ironic twist that it would have been them – a couple of people dedicated to trying to save and help others – who would lose their lives.
Eyes focusing, Kanda shifted his attention to the herbs. Several had grown there – namely lavender, rosemary, arnica, and thyme. While Kanda was pleased to see that the garden had clearly been taken care of, he still found himself frowning slightly. More than likely it had been Tiedoll who had been making sure the garden was not completely let go of – yet again, one more thing Kanda would be indebted to.
"I hate it when he tries to be so helpful," Kanda murmured, as he started to collect some of the herbs. With how cold the weather was getting they would not last much longer, and Kanda figured he would be able to make some ointments out of them that could be pretty useful.
There was a soft crunching of dried grass and brittle leaves, and Kanda turned, tensing slightly at the prospect of having an unwanted visitor. He was half-prepared to come face to face with Tiedoll (who was not beyond hunting Kanda down to lecture him), but was surprised to spot a tall, dark-skinned man with a broad build and shaved head. Blue-gray irises that were so pale that they almost appeared white peered out – the eyes of someone who could not see.
Recognition instantly filled Kanda's eyes, and slight surprise was in his tone as he addressed the man. "Marie."
A small smile formed on the man – Marie's – face. "Is that Kanda, or have my ears finally started deceiving me?"
Kanda fought the desire to roll his eyes – though he didn't, since Marie couldn't see. "Your ears work fine," Kanda responded, standing after collecting the last of the herbs. "What are you doing here?"
"I heard someone over this way, but it didn't sound like Tiedoll," Marie answered, "So I thought I'd check and find out who it was. I wasn't anticipating you to be here."
"It was a last minute decision."
"Does Tiedoll know you here?"
Kanda's jaw tightened slightly, causing him to pause before answering. "Yeah."
For what Marie was lacking in his ability to see, he made up in his ability to hear. For this reason he did not miss the time in which it took for Kanda to answer, nor did Marie miss the slight stiffness of tone. His expression, though seemingly placid, held a sense of knowing as though he was already beginning to piece things together. Marie had always been observant in that way – despite his blindness, he had a perceptiveness about him that was almost uncanny.
Marie didn't press yet though, and instead focused on a different subject. "That garden probably hasn't done as well this year. But Tiedoll and I did what we could to maintain it."
Once more surprise appeared in Kanda's eyes. He had anticipated Tiedoll working on the garden, once more taking on a responsibility that should have not been his – but he had not expected Marie to have helped out. "I don't know why you bothered. It's not like anyone asked either of you to," Kanda spoke, though his words did not harbor their usual abrasive edge.
A sudden breath of icy air swept past the two, and Kanda suppressed a grimace. 'Damn cold…' He thought, before turning back to Marie. "Let's go inside. This weather just pisses me off."
Not showing any signs of objection, Marie followed Kanda inside, listening to the sound of the young man's footsteps. Kanda himself didn't mind, and was actually thankful that it was Marie who had crossed paths with him. Aside from Tiedoll, Marie was one of the few people that Kanda was actually alright associating with; actually, Kanda even enjoyed Marie's company from time to time. The man was a tranquil individual who had a very calming presence about him – it often helped to calm Kanda's moods, especially when he had been younger.
Walking inside the house, Kanda felt a ghostly tickle at the back of his spine. It was one thing to enter the house in the dark of night – but another to do it now, when he could see everything. Just as the exterior of the house had caused of wave of nostalgia to flood Kanda, so did the interior. Inside everything was untouched, and unmoved – everything remained from when Kanda had left so long ago, but there was an emptiness that lingered in the air that was nearly void-like.
Following behind Kanda, Marie spoke. "I hope you haven't rearranged anything too drastically since you came back, or I may have to learn my way around again."
Kanda scoffed quietly. "No. It's the same. I just got back last night," He answered, before going to a shelf and taking down a small mortar and pestle. Once he had it, Kanda retreated to the table where he sat down and silently began to pound down the arnica quietly.
Marie, who had followed, also sat down. His ears instantly zoned in on the dull pounding. "That's a lot of force you're using there," Marie observed, noticing that Kanda seemed to be using a bit more energy than necessary.
Kanda kept pounding, and didn't answer.
"So what happened?"
Stopping abruptly, Kanda looked at Marie. It was only for a moment before he went back onto breaking down the arnica. "Nothing happened," He muttered quietly, trying to focus on the ointment he was trying to make. He noticed the herbs were a bit dry from the cold, but he could make do.
Marie smiled wryly. "That's the tone you use whenever something has happened. Or when something is bothering you."
Silently, Kanda cursed Marie's sensitive ears.
"Don't worry," Marie spoke, breaking Kanda's silent hexing. "I won't force you to answer – I just thought I'd ask."
Kanda sighed, slowing the pace in which he was pounding. He actually was considering telling Marie what had happened. Marie was at the very least someone he knew would thoroughly listen before speaking, and was one of the only people Kanda would ever think to confide in. Perhaps it was because of the way Marie had always treated Kanda. Marie had never spoken down to Kanda, or treated him as though he were some orphan to be pitied. No, Marie had actually treated him normally, and without the falsified tenderness other people in the village had shown Kanda.
But Kanda didn't say anything. 'It's not worth getting into,' He told himself, not even wanting to discuss the events from earlier.
"You know I had that anger for a long time. The kind you have now."
The words startled Kanda, causing him to cease his use of the pestle. It took him a second to register just what Marie had said – but before he could properly react, Marie continued.
"It was worse after I lost my sight," Marie went on, his tone even, "I was so angry when I realized I would never see that I almost didn't notice the physical pain I was in – actually, I didn't even want anyone to help after the accident."
Kanda listened quietly. He knew well enough about the "accident" that Marie was talking about – Tiedoll had told him about it. Marie was not actually from the village, despite now residing there. He had actually been the second exorcist that Kanda had ever met, with the "accident" actually being the result of an akuma attack. Kanda could still very clearly remember the night where he had first crossed paths with Marie, who had been barely conscious and was being supported by a worn out Tiedoll.
Thinking back, Kanda was now wondering if Marie had put up any fight when Tiedoll initially had tried to help him. It hadn't seemed that way at the time, but now that Marie was telling Kanda that he hadn't wanted any help…
"I remember you from that night, too. I was too exhausted to argue at that point, but I was pretty skeptical of having some kid help out. Figured there wouldn't be much you could have done," Marie explained before chuckling softly. "You really proved me wrong though. I still don't know how you how you managed to stop the bleeding as quickly as you did."
Kanda could remember that night. It had been early spring, damp and muddy from the rains that had come. He had been fourteen at the time, and home by himself trying to salvage some herbs that had nearly been flooded earlier that day. It had been a bit later – close to midnight really – when there had been the frantic knocking at the front door. Kanda could recall actually feeling so caught off guard that he actually felt a tinge of fear, as no one ever knocked so late or rapidly. But he had answered to find Tiedoll holding a nearly unconscious Marie, bleeding profusely and wounded to the point where Kanda was not certain as to if there was anything he could have done.
It had been one thing to provide remedies for simple ailments like sprained ankles and common illnesses – but to have been presented with such a mortally wounded individual had almost sent Kanda into a state of anxiety. What had Tiedoll been thinking, bringing this strange man to some young boy for aid? Tiedoll had been confident Kanda would know how to at least stop the bleeding though, and the prospect of being asked to help, and of not being protected, had oddly appealed to Kanda. This resulted in a long night of creating compresses and changing bandages, with Kanda being unable to salvage Marie's eyesight but helping the man to pull through.
'Barely,' Kanda reminded himself. With the amount of blood that Marie had lost, it had been nothing short of a miracle that Kanda had been able to stop it when he did.
Marie's eyes stared off, unable to focus on Kanda or anything in particular. Still, the eerily pale pupils held a thoughtful look in them. "You've always had a gentle hand with healing. You shouldn't let your anger overpower it so much."
The words, though well-meaning, struck a chord within Kanda. It was not necessarily a nerve, but he instinctively looked away despite the fact that Marie was blind. "My hand isn't gentle, and I was just doing what I was supposed to," Kanda countered, as he returned to finishing the arnica paste. By now it was about done.
"Whatever you say," Marie said, though his tone implied he still believed otherwise. "What are you making over there, anyways?"
"Just some arnica."
"Arnica," Marie repeated, his mind seeming to try to recall just what that particular herb was for. "I can never seem to keep these plants straight…what is arnica for?"
There was a moment where Kanda hesitated, though he couldn't say why. But he finally answered, voice quiet, "Bruising."
The rest of the day was uneventful, thankfully. Marie had visited with Kanda for a bit longer, never prying too deeply into what Kanda had been doing in his time away. There was a somewhat mutual understanding between the two to never really pry unless the other seemed willing to speak. It likely came from Marie also had a history with exorcism, and understood the weight of questioning such things. It was only when Marie brought up Tiedoll once more that he came close to wandering into any personal territory, and even that topic was tread lightly.
"You know Tiedoll was really worried about you," Marie pointed, before leaving.
Kanda scoffed. "He shouldn't be. I'm an adult, and I can take care of myself now."
Marie nodded, but continued. "He knows that. But it doesn't make it any easier on him. He does view you as family, after all."
While Kanda's expression did not reveal it, a tinge of guilt could be felt. He sometimes wondered if Marie had some kind of sixth sense to compensate for his blindness, as the man had an uncanny way with words. Marie always seemed to know just what to say and when, and in a way that did not set Kanda off – which for Kanda, was a good and bad thing. Good in that it helped him to stay in check, bad in that it drove him crazy.
Eventually Marie left, leaving Kanda alone once more. While Kanda had not minded Marie being there, he was glad for the sudden rush of solitude. He felt exhausted and tired, and just needed some time away from people.
Marie's words lingered though. Kanda was not sure why, but for whatever reason they had seeped into his mind, causing something to quietly nag at him from within. It was a rather frustrating sensation, as it was so disruptive that Kanda found he could not even take the opportunity to meditate.
"You've always had a gentle hand with healing. You shouldn't let your anger overpower it so much."
Kanda almost laughed thinking about it. Of all the ways to describe his hand, "gentle" sure as hell was not one of them.
Anyways, Kanda didn't let his anger overpower anything. No, he had complete control of it.
Usually.
Realizing that mediating was a lost cause, Kanda glanced outside. It was not late – it was just barely evening, but already the daylight was beginning to melt away due to the impending arrival of winter. Without any further hesitation, Kanda grabbed his coat before heading outside. He stopped momentarily, debating on taking Mugen with him – but for whatever reason decided against it. Instead, he took the grounded arnica of which he had placed into a small pouch before heading outside.
Kanda should talk to Tiedoll. He didn't want to, but he should.
'Damn Marie,' Kanda thought, hating the small conscience that the dark-skinned man had very effectively played upon.
Kanda had to often remind himself not to be so harsh with Tiedoll. It wasn't easy – it hadn't been easy even a year and a half ago. Kanda hadn't agreed with some of the way Tiedoll handled things, or how Tiedoll had even tried to keep certain things from Kanda. He knew it was all because the man only wanted to protect him – Tiedoll had always wanted to protect Kanda. That much was clear, whether Kanda liked it or not.
Not that Kanda always hated it. When he had been a child and first witnessed an akuma, Tiedoll had been the only person Kanda was willing to be around. He had actually latched onto the man for a while, never really wanting to be alone for the first year and very rarely speaking. It had been a result of the shock mostly, of which Kanda eventually started to snap out of. The boy gradually returned to being more independent with time, while also becoming more vocal about wanting to no more about the akuma. Of course Tiedoll tried to be wary of how much he revealed to Kanda – that even Kanda could understand.
'But still…what he tried to keep from me…' Kanda thought, muscles tensing slightly.
A moment of hesitation flickered within Kanda before quickly evaporating, as a determined look reemerged in his eyes. Placing his hand on the doorknob, he twisted it-
-And it was locked.
Kanda frowned. Well,
that was anti-climactic. And strange. The church had always been such an open space that the concept of a door being locked was quite peculiar to Kanda. Why had Tiedoll locked it? Was there something valuable inside?
Curiosity burning, Kanda glanced around. He was certain Tiedoll wasn't around, and looked back at where the lock under the knob was. It appeared ordinary enough that Kanda thought he could find a way to pick it. He was not sure why he felt so compelled to actually do so, but the desire was there, fierce and pulsating.
Taking out the lotus pin he always carried, Kanda unlatched it so that the thin piece of silver was sticking outward. He tried not to think about how much his mother would have disapproved of him using her pin as a means for breaking and entering – but Kanda wasn't actually breaking in. He just wanted to know what was behind the door. It was justifiable, wasn't it?
After a few moments of wiggling the silver around, there was a light 'click.' The twelve-year-old quickly put the pin away before opening the door, which opened quietly and without any actual creaking.
Kanda was surprised to see that there was actually a stairwell descending downward, dark and hard to see in. However, he was not a boy that was easily frightened anymore, and without delay started down the stairs.
'What's even down here?' Kanda wondered, having not even realized there was a level beneath the church. It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but soon enough he was able to make out the outline of the steps, eventually reaching the ground level.
Looking around, Kanda's eyes were just barely able to make out the details of the room. He immediately noticed a candle nearby, and a few matches left beside them, some unused. Seizing the chance to have some light, Kanda lit the candle, of which had already been previously used it seemed.
With some illumination, Kanda could see more clearly. He looked around the room, which was something that appeared to be in-between a large study area and a storage space. There was a table with a chair, with several books left upon it. More books lined the shelves on the wall, with some that appeared quite old.
'Weird,' Kanda thought, though he couldn't say why the whole room read 'weird' to him. Tiedoll's family had apparently owned this church for generations, so it made sense to have some kind of storage space with literature in it, didn't it? Perhaps the books were theological writings, or bible variations. It could have been anything.
But Kanda could not shake the feeling that the room was something
more than that.
Starting with the desk first, Kanda began to look through some of the books there. As he had anticipated, some appeared to be theological writings while some were just in old Latin. He skipped over those, because Kanda didn't have too much an interest in theology nor did he know Latin. The boy was actually losing interest fairly quickly before he noticed one last book set aside, with a worn leather cover.
Nonchalantly, Kanda opened it. He was greeted by the unexpected sight of a non-theological text that he could actually read, though it appeared to be some kind of list. Two columns lined each page, with two names across from one another. Some kind of record, perhaps?
Flipping through the pages, Kanda eventually caught sight of a familiar name.
Froi Tiedoll – Maker of Eden.
Kanda frowned.
'Maker of Eden…that's that thing Tiedoll used against the akuma,' Kanda realized, recalling that was what Tiedoll had said his 'innocence' was named. 'Is this a record of different exorcists…?'
Interest rekindled, Kanda began scanning through the names. Within a few moments, his blue eyes latched onto one name in particular. One that made his heart freeze.
Izo Kanda – Mugen.
Kanda shook his head. That night where he first learned about Mugen – where he first learned the truth about his father – stung. It stung to know the truth, and it stung to know that Tiedoll may have continued to keep it from Kanda for some time. Kanda was pretty sure that there had been a slight crack in his voice when he confronted Tiedoll about it, not caring that he would possibly be in trouble for breaking into a room he wasn't supposed to be in. But Kanda had just barely kept it together, young yet persistent with those blue eyes burning.
"Was my father an exorcist?"
"Kanda-"
"Was he!?"
Tiedoll's eyes flickered with a range of emotion. Some of it appeared regretful, while the rest of them appeared exasperated, uncertain of how to handle the angry child in front of him. "Kanda, how did you even get into that room?"
Kanda glared. "Don't change the subject like that!" He snapped, before trying to calm down. The boy could practically feel himself shaking. How could Tiedoll keep something so important from him? It was Kanda's
father.
Shaking his head, Kanda looked away. "I…I want to see Mugen-"
"Kanda,
no," Tiedoll cut in sharply. "Mugen was left in an unrefined state – it's not stable, and there's no telling how it will react to you with you carrying Izo's blood."
"But that was my father's!"
"Kanda, I said
no," Tiedoll repeated, using a firmness that was harsher than Kanda had ever heard. It nearly caused Kanda to wince as he kept his gaze averted – Kanda could practically feel his eyes moistening, and immediately attempted to repress his emotions. He wasn't going to cry – there was no way he would cry. Not there.
Seeming to notice Kanda's emotional state, Tiedoll took a breath. "It's just not safe. The innocence isn't a predictable entity," He explained, his voice more even. "And it'll react to the energy around it – which would make exposing you to it at this moment completely out of the question."
There was a pause following this, as Tiedoll appeared to be thinking something over before speaking once more. "If you can get a better hold of your emotions, I'll show you Mugen – but
only when you show you can handle it."
To this, Kanda had said nothing at first. He was processing much of the information still, with his emotions raging against one another inside him. Finally, the boy spoke a reply, quietly and barely above a whisper.
"Fine."
That was when things had started to become tense between Kanda and Tiedoll. With time, things had started to smooth over – but for Kanda there had always been a bit of soreness following that event. Even with eventually gaining enough approval from Tiedoll to see Mugen, Kanda had always harbored a twinge of bitterness toward the main for keeping such valuable information from him. It did not matter to Kanda that Tiedoll had done it for Kanda's own good – Kanda felt he had a right to know the truth about his father, and how the man had been an active exorcist prior to marrying Kanda's mother. 'I had a right to know.'
Unfortunately, the information Kanda had learned about his father had only created more questions. Why had his father given up exorcism? Why had his father stopped using Mugen?
'Why couldn't he have protected my mother?'
Perhaps Marie was right. Perhaps Kanda did have more anger he was clinging to.
'Stupid,' Kanda thought, pushing his hands into his pockets as he walked on. He wondered if Tiedoll would be at the church or at his house – though, Kanda was hesitant on going back to the house considering Alma could be there. Or Alma could be at the church.
'Damn, which should I go to?'
Making a split decision, Kanda went for the church. Most likely Tiedoll would be there still, and if he was then Kanda could probably get some time with him.
Kanda's arrival at the church proved him otherwise. Once entering, Kanda noticed it was quiet – the kind of quiet that signified no one was there. Kanda was actually more relieved than anything by this; while he knew he needed to talk to Tiedoll at some point, he was not opposed to putting it off, even if just for a few minutes.
The pews seemed inviting as always, but Kanda resisted the urge. Really Kanda probably should have left the church sooner rather than later, as the image of a certain young man with a scar across his nose kept flashing in Kanda's mind.
Why did Kanda keep thinking of Alma? It wasn't like he was that important – and Kanda certainly was intimidated by running into him or anything. But for whatever reason, Kanda kept thinking of Alma, which Kanda personally read as his subconscious reminding him that he did not like Alma and therefore did not want to cross paths with him.
'Yeah, that's what it probably is,' Kanda told himself.
Turning sharply, Kanda made his way to leave the nave. He began a brisk pace, walking quickly to the exit when someone rounded the corner, walking straight into him-
Wham.
Apparently, the person walking into the nave was also walking at a brisk pace.
Kanda managed to keep his balance, though out of his peripheral vision he could see the other person had slightly less coordination, and staggered slightly. There was no time for Kanda to feel regretful though, as he quickly recognized the messy, dark hair as belonging to the person he had just been attempting to avoid.
Kanda could barely keep from sending a death glare at Alma. "Watch where you're going."
Alma, who had just managed to keep from losing his balance entirely, looked back at Kanda, a small frown on his face….which once more, Kanda thought looked like more of a pout. "You weren't exactly watching where you were going either…" Alma muttered, his tone less confrontational than Kanda's.
There was an awkward pause following this, as neither Kanda nor Alma spoke. Both were silent, seeming to evaluate whether the situation would go in fight or flight direction. After a few seconds both young men made a move to get around each other – however, they both attempted to move in the same direction, unintentionally blocking one another. They then tried to move to the other side, but having both thought the same plan found themselves to be blocking each other again.
Another awkward pause ensued.
Alma sighed, not really seeming to have the energy for the potential "fight" route the interaction could have taken. "Sorry," He apologized, voice a bit more relaxed than even a few seconds before.
Kanda kept his expression neutral, but silently questioned whether Alma was referring to the fact that they kept blocking each other or the fight the two had engaged in.
Alma seemed to realize that the intention of what he was apologizing for wasn't clear. "I mean…for now, and earlier too."
'I wonder if Tiedoll put him up to this,' Kanda immediately wondered. He would not have put it past Tiedoll to try to convinced Alma (or even Kanda himself) to try to "work things out."
Crap, did this mean Alma would be expecting an apology now?
To Kanda's surprise, Alma didn't appear to be anticipating such. "I'll…let you do whatever it was you were doing I guess," Alma stated, though his voice sounded uncertain, as though Kanda were some unpredictable animal he were with. Kanda didn't care though – at this point, the chance to leave was more than welcome.
As Kanda made an attempt to leave once more, he noticed the side of Alma's face. There on the right side of Alma's face was a reddish mark already starting to darken. It didn't take long for Kanda's to recognize the bruise as his own handiwork from when he had first socked Alma earlier that day, though with the way Alma's hair somewhat covered it the bruise could almost be missed.
Kanda wasn't sure why he was noticing it though. It shouldn't have mattered, and he had caused enough bruises in fights to know that they healed and weren't that big of a deal.
"That bruise looks awful," Kanda commented bluntly, before he could stop himself.
Alma's head whipped around, as a child-like frown appeared on his face. The comment had apparently ruffled him back up, and he opened his mouth as though he wanted to retort something. His mouth closed abruptly, as Kanda suddenly shoved something into Alma's hands, completely catching Alma off guard.
"Mix it with some water and apply it to the bruise. It'll keep it from getting worse."
Alma blinked, expression one of complete and total confusion. "Um…" He started, but was at a loss for words. Looking down he saw that Kanda had shoved a small pouch of something light into his hands – some kind of powder or something?
Looking up, Alma wanted to ask just what it was. However, Kanda had already left, quickly and quietly, leaving a very confused and bewildered Alma with a handful of arnica.
