Thanks again to Citikitti! Just to warn – this chapter is very M. I own nothing.
~*~
Chapter 4 – Girl, Interrupting
Bella
Having come clean about my past had been cathartic and Edward had been so great – even after my confession about having had dirty dreams that starred him – but I still felt ill. Jasper hadn't spoken to me since that afternoon and I couldn't sleep for thinking about it.
I had left the comfort of my borrowed bed for the plush sofa and HDTV of the living room, where I was currently dipping Ritz crackers into a jar of peanut butter and watching the late movie on Showtime. It involved men in varying degrees of undress, and was therefore making me feel at least somewhat better. The Cullens had told me to make myself at home, and for the first time I was following their orders completely.
I was having a difficult time concentrating on the movie, naked men or not -- none of them looked as good as the one sleeping upstairs. My mind kept creeping back to my conversation with Jasper – if it could be called a conversation at all.
I should have told him about Floyd's offer, I knew that. I had known it since he'd first contacted me last March, but I hadn't said a word. I knew that Jasper would have assumed that I would take the position and rag on me when I told him that I hadn't decided what to do. I wanted to take or not take the job of my own volition, not because I had been guilt-tripped into it.
I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and turned to find Jasper walking into the room. I was half-disappointed that it wasn't Edward. I turned back toward the TV without a word and dipped another cracker.
I felt the sofa sink under his weight, but I kept my eyes on the screen. I tried to choke back the lump that was forming in my throat.
"Are you getting crumbs in the peanut butter again?" His voice was thick with exhaustion.
"Yeah. You want some?" This was a conversation we'd had a million times over. I held the jar and box of crackers towards him, but kept my eyes firmly in front of me. I knew as soon as I looked his way I would burst into tears.
I heard him heave a sigh and felt the box pull down as he took an offered cracker. I finally looked over at him just as he was dipping it into the peanut butter. My chin began to quiver as I attempted to hold in my tears.
And then, I sobbed, mentally cursing myself for being such a wimp.
He dropped his Ritz into the jar and reached out to pull me into his arms.
"Bella," he whispered, "shhh." He stroked my hair and rocked us back and forth. "I'm sorry."
"I didn't mean it," I sobbed. "I didn't mean what I said. I was just…"
"I know. I didn't mean it either. Especially not bringing him up – that was low and I'm so, so sorry."
I nodded into his chest and sniffled.
"Why are we so nasty to each other when we fight, Ding Dong?"
"Cause we're both horrible bitches?"
Jasper chuckled. "You're worse than me though – you referred to my future children as squalling brats."
"Yeah, but only because you were a squalling brat. I'm sure Alice's genes will counteract that." I sucked in a breath and hiccupped. "Hopefully."
He laughed and ruffled my hair in that annoying way of his, which right at that moment didn't bother me like it usually did.
"I told Edward… about Todd. I don't know why, but it felt good to tell him," I confessed. I hadn't said Todd's given name aloud in years, but it didn't tear at me the way it always had.
"I know why," Jasper said, nodding meaningfully. "It's these Cullens, Ding Dong. I tell you, they are like big ole human confessionals or something." He grabbed his abandoned cracker from the peanut butter and shoved it messily into his mouth. "The first day I met Emmett, he somehow managed to hyponotise me into confessing that I'd slept with Alice the first day we met. Then he proceeded to chase me all around the grounds with a baseball bat. Good times."
~*~
Jasper and I stayed up the rest of the night watching the late, late shows and laughing at all of the bad love scenes. By the time the sun's light began streaming through the large front windows we were both loopy from lack of sleep.
As the house began to slowly come alive, we headed to our respective rooms to shower and get otherwise ready for what was sure to be painful day. We were wide awake now, but sooner or later we were both inevitably going to crash.
I came downstairs a while later to find the whole family – minus the one I really wanted to see – in the kitchen making breakfast.
Carlisle and Esme were standing over the stove with several things on the go, and Emmett was making toast while Rosalie cut up oranges for Alice to squish into the juicer. Jasper was off to the side and he already looked terrible. He was knocking back coffee in an attempt to wake himself up. I grinned widely at him to rub in the fact that I felt great while I still did. His grunted hello was drowned out by a chorus of more cheerful ones from the others.
"Breakfast is nearly ready," Alice informed me. "Bella, would you mind going to get Edward?" She gave me a significant look. I turned from her to glare at Jasper and his answering grin only confirmed my suspicions – he had gotten Alice in on his little matchmaking scheme.
~*~
I knocked on Edward's bedroom door but received no answer. I waited for a moment, shifting from foot to foot in my impatience. I counted to five, and when he still didn't answer I knocked again.
"Edward, you there?"
"Yeah," his voice called from the other side of the door. I opened it and went through.
And immediately came to a dead stop.
He was standing with his back to me, rubbing a towel through his wet hair, wearing nothing but another towel, riding low on his hips.
I had taken his "yeah" to mean "come in". Oops.
He paused in his hair drying, pulling the towel from his head and half-turned so I could see his profile.
I should have left then, turned around and apologised for barging in on him, but I didn't. Instead I stood there, slack-jawed, and watched as a droplet of water dripped from his hair and trailed down the middle of his back, all the way down, where it was absorbed by the dangerously low-slung towel.
I gulped audibly.
Edward was still standing in the exact position as if he, too, was frozen in place. I finally came to my senses and turned to go, but one of my feet caught the other and I staggered slightly, falling against the half-closed door, which slammed shut under the weight of my body.
The sound seemed to snap Edward out of his stupor. He turned to face me fully, the towel he'd been using to dry his hair clutched in his hands. My eyes studied it for a moment, the way he had the fabric twisted around his fingers – he seemed to be pulling it taut between his hands, his knuckles turning white with the effort he was exerting.
My gaze drifted slowly upwards until I met his eyes – they were dark green and heavy-lidded, staring into mine with barely concealed lust. His jaw was clenched tight and his nostrils flared slightly as his breathing sped up.
I had never wanted someone the way I wanted Edward Cullen at that moment. But was I audacious enough to reach out and take what I wanted, or had I become a coward as Jasper had accused the day before?
"Fuck it," I growled. In three long strides I had crossed the distance between us and pressed myself against Edward's wet body. I threaded my fingers into his dripping hair and pulled his lips down to mine.
The towel he had been clutching for dear life fell down around our feet when he reached out and grabbed me by the hips. I moaned into his mouth, pulling at his hair and trying to bring him closer; I needed him closer.
Edward slid his hands from my hips around the curve of my ass and lifted me into the air. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pushed my chest flush against his as we continued to hungrily devour each other's mouths. My left heel caught under the fabric of his damp towel and I felt it begin to fall away.
He walked me backwards toward the bed where he flopped me onto my back and climbed up, hovering over me. His lips paused on mine, his hands leaving my backside to search blindly for his towel, which he had just come to realise had slipped from his waist. "Oh shit," he gasped against my mouth.
"Forget it," I told him, my voice sounding husky. I wrapped both hands behind his head and pressed our mouths firmly together.
He seemed to be uncomfortable about his nudity, or afraid that it would insult me in some way, as he kept angling his body away from mine. He was so caught up in making sure not to offend my clothed body with his stark naked one, that he kept accidentally pulling my hair. After the third time it got trapped beneath his hands and other appendages, I decided to take over. I pushed on his shoulder, motioning for him to roll onto his back. He acquiesced, pulling me with him.
Edward threaded his fingers into my hair as I sucked on his plump bottom lip. I slid a hand down his chest, searching blindly for that fine trail of hair that I hadn't stopped thinking about since the day by the pool. I began stroking it up and down, pulling back whenever my hand nearly made contact with his dick.
I slid my mouth over his chin and down his throat. I felt his moan vibrate against my lips as he shifted slightly, and I felt something else against my inner thigh. I sat up straight and studied him for a moment; he looked so gloriously debauched lying there under me: his hair twisted every which way, his lips red and swollen, his chest heaving as he gasped for breath. He was so fucking beautiful. Without even thinking, I slid down a little and took his erection into my hand. He hissed and his body jerked, dislodging me slightly.
"Is this what you dreamed about, Bella?" he asked in a low voice.
I shook my head. "Do you want to know? Do you want to see?" I taunted him, tightening my grip and stroking swiftly upwards.
"Yes," he gasped.
I continued down his legs until my feet slipped onto the carpeted floor, then leaned forward and took him into my mouth.
His hips shot up involuntarily and he moaned. I laid my left hand against him and pushed his body back towards the mattress, my right hand still stroking him steadily below my mouth.
He uttered a muffled "Ah, fuck," and I flicked my eyes up to find that he had his hand pressed over his mouth and he appeared to be biting the side of it.
As I continued my ministrations, I began to over think things, wondering if I was doing it properly – it had been a very long time and I'd hardly been skilled in the first place. Those thoughts progressed to like-minded ones, leaving me feeling self-conscious about the entire thing. What the hell was I doing? A couple of Edward fellatio dreams and I suddenly think it's a good idea to try it out in real life? I seemed to have forgotten that dreams do not equal reality, and that real life Bella does not have the necessary skills to pull off the shenanigans that her dream counterpart gets up to during her nighttime frolics.
And that's when I remembered that the door wasn't locked. I was half expecting his mother to burst in and tell me I wasn't being very lady-like. In dream scenarios, one never has to worry about tedious things like the door being locked. I picked up my pace. I could hardly stop now!
I was lost in my self-flagellating thoughts when I noticed a change in Edward's breathing. He suddenly groaned, "Oh, fuck, Bel-la." His hand was gently but insistently pushing against the top of my head, motioning for me to move -- very sweet of him, but where the hell else was it going to go? It would make a mess, and he just got out of the shower… my mind was all over the place and making little sense.
I clamped my lips around him and sucked hard, my cheeks hollowing out, then drove my mouth down as far as I could, remembering in my haze something I had once read in my mother's Cosmo.
"Fuck!" he cursed again, before spilling into my mouth. I swallowed quickly – fuck it tasted gross, and I didn't remember there being so much of it. Fantasies always did leave out the unpleasant parts. I crawled back up beside him on the bed and lay still for a moment, both of us catching our breath.
What in the fuck did I just do? Pop randomly into a guy's room and give him a blowjob? God, what's he going to think of me?
I felt the bed shift next to me, then his hand stroking the side of my face.
"So, umm…" I stammered. "I came up to, ah, get you for breakfast." The plan wasn't to actually have you for breakfast… "We should probably get down there before someone comes looking for us, and, well…" I motioned to his naked body without looking in his direction.
"Oh..." he began.
I climbed over the side of the bed and jumped down, stumbling. Damn high beds in this house. I walked briskly to the door, and as I was closing it behind me I peeked my head around and said, "So, ah, breakfast."
As I was shutting it I heard him say uncertainly, "Oh… okay."
I ran both hands through my hair to flatten it and straightened my clothes before entering the dining room.
Everyone was seated around the table, leaving two chairs open across from one another. I felt like there was a giant, flashing sign above my head that read 'JUST BLEW EDWARD'. I licked my lips fastidiously and took the seat next to Jasper.
"Where's Edward?" Alice asked.
"Oh, umm… He'll be right down."
I filled my plate with a shaky hand and began attempting to eat. I no longer had much of an appetite.
Edward entered the room a moment later. Although he'd thrown on a pair of jeans and a collared grey shirt, but hadn't bothered to fix his sex hair. Fuck. He sat down across from me and began to fill his plate without making eye contact.
Fuck. Fucking fuck fuck. Stupid ass bitch, Bella. Why didn't I just leave the room when I saw that he wasn't decent? Because he is completely and utterly indecent, that's why. Stupid horny bitch. What must he think of me now?
I kept glancing at him surreptitiously throughout breakfast, but I didn't once catch him looking back.
After we'd all finished eating and I'd helped Esme and Carlisle with the cleanup, I rushed up to my room to hide. I threw myself on the bed and beat my head against the pillows.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I heard someone outside the door, so I quickly grabbed the National Geographic from the bedside table and pretended to be engrossed in an article.
It was Jasper, of course, and he burst in without even knocking. Typical.
He stood by the side of the bed, holding onto the bedpost and twirling himself back and forth.
"You make an ugly ballerina," I grumbled rudely.
He chuckled. "Good magazine?"
"Yep."
He placed both hands on the post and swung from side to side. "So…"
"So."
"You looked a little dishevelled when you came down to breakfast." He sounded smug. I didn't need to look at his face to know the exact expression he was wearing.
"Mmmm…" I mumbled, and continued to flip through my magazine. Ooh, interesting fossil found in Peru…
"And you had water spots on your shirt."
"Did I." I flipped another page, nearly tearing it in my annoyance.
"And Edward's hair was wet," he continued mercilessly.
I looked up at his pasty mug and slammed my magazine shut. "Out with it, Jazz. This Clue shit is getting on my nerves."
"Well… I think it was Bella and Edward in the bedroom with the bow-chica-wow-wooow."
Jasper and his affinity for creepy '70's porn. Idiot. I glared but gave no answer.
"Isabella, my dearest, oldest, most beloved friend -- did you just fuck Edward?"
"No!" I exclaimed, sitting bolt upright on the bed and flinging my magazine to the side. "I did not fuck Edward!" I clapped my hands over my mouth, realising how loud I'd been. I could feel the heat flooding my face.
"Well he certainly looked like he'd been worked over pretty good."
I twisted my hands in front of me, avoiding Jasper's eyes. I licked my lips guiltily.
"Holy shit, you blew him didn't you?"
I groaned and buried my face in my hands. "Oh God, it seemed like a good idea at the time."
Jasper cracked up laughing, smacking the bedpost. "Oh, Bell," he guffawed.
"I couldn't help it; he dazzled me."
That sent the bastard into hysterics.
"Fuck, I should have just had sex with him, right? It would have been less dirty. Oh God, I'm a cocksucking whore."
Jasper snorted. "You are not a cocksucking whore."
"I am."
Jasper patted me reassuringly on the shoulder. "So, did he reciprocate?" He waggled his eyebrows at me.
I cringed in remembrance of how I'd bolted from the room and threw myself face first on the bed. "I'm a cocksucking whore," I mumbled into the mattress.
"Oh, hi Edward!" Jasper said in a loud and obviously overenthusiastic voice. "I'm just going to, well, leave," he added, laughing heartily all the way down the hall.
I rolled over onto my back and squinted up at Edward.
"Would you think better of me if I told you I didn't sleep last night and lack of sleep unhinges me a bit?" I cringed at the whiny sound of my voice.
Edward sighed and rolled his eyes, then walked over and shut the door. "You know," he said, "if you wouldn't have run off like a frightened kitten, I would have reciprocated. And I'm not a whore either."
So much for hoping that he hadn't heard our conversation.
"Oh God," I muttered. "I swear I'm not usually like that… I just… I just want to do dirty things to you, all right? I did do dirty things to you. Dirtier things. I want to do dirty, dirty things to you."
Jesus, someone shut me up for the love of all that is holy.
I groaned again and pulled one of the ten thousand pillows over my face. The bed sank down beside me and light poured in as the corner of the pillow was lifted.
"Bella," came his low voice, "you have nothing to be embarrassed about, and I absolutely do not think badly of you. I would have to be insane."
I snorted a laugh and slapped him lightly on the chest. He caught my hand and brought it under the pillow with us, giving it a gentle kiss.
"Now," he said quietly, "how about I do dirty, dirty things to you."
I whimpered and felt his smile against my hand. He leaned over and pressed his lips to the side of my neck. The air under the pillow had become heady with his scent; I felt like I was drowning in it.
"Ugh," I groaned.
"What is it?" He sounded unsure.
"I love the way your skin smells," I admitted.
He rolled over, knocking the pillow away, capturing my mouth with his.
Things were just beginning to get interesting when I heard Alice's musical voice exclaim, "Edward, get off of her. How rude! The final dress fitting is today and you're going to make us late!"
His eyes met mine; they were comically round and his hair was crazily mussed.
"Now!" Alice shouted before slamming the door behind her. She was kind of scary; apparently she got that from her mother.
I whimpered, jutting out my lower lip. For the first time in years I wanted – no, needed – sex. "I think I'm gonna cry."
~*~
Feedback would be great – I was nervous about posting this one!
