Clare, petrified, couldn't see anything at the moment. All the things around her were a blur as the shaking in her knees became more pronounced. She didn't dare try to move her numbed legs in case she did fall over the edge.
"Lord, help me," she whispered under her breath, seeing how little she valued her life. "I just want to get better."
She felt her legs unbalance once again and before she knew it she was tilting. Clare yelled as she felt a strong grasp around her waist.
"Calm down, Clare." Eli soothed her, gently pulling her down from the railing. Clare's sobbing didn't quiet down as she hugged him back.
"E—Eli…" she managed to get out after a few attempts, but Eli merely hushed her. He kneeled down so that Clare and he would be sitting on the floor.
Cries racked her whole body as she shivered. Some of the guards had already made their way up to the third floor. "Is she okay?" One of the guards asked. Eli glared up at the man.
"What do you think?" He questioned him. "No security was coming up here to even try and save her! Wait until I get to talk to your manager; he or she won't be too happy to hear this news."
The guard looked regretful as he picked on his collar. "We were told that when these things happen, we shouldn't try to fight them; it just makes it worse."
"If I weren't here," Eli growled. "She would've fallen down all those floors and died. You have no right to defend yourselves; you guys suck at your job." No one talked for a while as everyone listened to Clare cry. Eli could see some of the other residences of the hospital looking outside of the bars to see what all the commotion was.
Eli dismissed the guards after he was annoyed with their presence. Others were going back to their own business. Looking down at Clare, he could tell how worse it had become; he should've been there when he could to see her. He was the only rock that she had; no family, no friends. She barely talked to Alli or Adam anymore since they didn't know much about what happened to her.
Clare murmured something that Eli didn't quite catch. "Say that again?" He asked, rubbing her back.
"I said, when did you get here? I was waiting for you."
"I was with…" He trailed off, not knowing what to say. "A relative. He goes here."
Clare looked up at his expression. "Who?" She asked, rubbing beneath her eyelids. Eli let out a deep breath.
"Goliah."
"Goliah?" Clare asked, her eyes widening. Eli was starting to look annoyed.
"Yes, Goliah."
"Oh," Clare murmured in realization. That was who she had seen earlier that day. "Why's he here?"
Eli shrugged, but he knew the answer. "He never told me," he replied innocently. "But you, my dear, have some things to explain. Like why you were walking on the rails."
Clare looked down, shameful. "I don't know." She said as if she were a little kid.
"That's bull shit and you know it, Clare. Your bipolarity is just getting worse, and I don't know what to do anymore."
"Take me home," she quickly replied. Eli shook his head. "Why not?"
"You aren't stable; you wouldn't get better at my house."
"But that's where your wrong, Mr. Goldsworthy. I was better at your house than I am here; I mean, do you see what this place is doing to me?"
Eli rolled his eyes. "You're frustrated; I get that part, but I brought you here for a reason. I want to see you better."
Clare jerked away from his grasp. "What if I don't get better?" She spat, getting up and walking to her room. Eli followed behind her.
"You will, Clare. It just takes time." His desperation for her to cooperate was one hundred percent shown, but Clare didn't take it in.
Clare closed the door after her, looking between the bars at his face. "You don't look anywhere near broken like I am since I've been here. Do you even care that I'm going through this?"
"Clare," he exclaimed. "You know I care! I love you!"
Clare shook her head, tears coming to surface again. "It's over, Eli." She stated, walking over to her bed.
"Clare!" He confusedly yelled at her.
"Go away, Eli." She retorted, falling into a deep sleep.
On Top
It was almost 6 AM when Clare awoke, smiling to herself. She knew what she was going to do today. She walked over to the door, opening it as quietly as she could as to not wake her roommate or any of her neighbors. No guards were on duty at this time of hour; it was something stupid that the managers didn't think of doing.
She looked in on every room that she passed, looking for that reckless boy. The one that she learned was her 'second choice'. When Clare got to the floor underneath her room, she smirked. In one of the rooms was the boy, peacefully sleeping with his jacket hood over his head.
Goliah always kept the door unlocked; it was a choice that you could make. Clare opened the door, sneaking into the one-person room.
"Goliah," she whispered, gently shaking his shoulder. He mumbled something under his breath. "Goliah." She repeated, but this time with more strength. Goliah jumped before moaning.
"What the hell do you want?" he asked, his eyes still closed. "I don't get my pills until the afternoon." Clare sat on the edge of the bed.
"I want to talk, Goliah." Goliah opened his eyes hastily, trying to figure out if Clare was just another apparition.
"Is that actually you, or am I still dreaming?"
Clare laughed, rolling her eyes. "It's me," she reassuringly said. "So can we talk?"
Goliah nodded quietly, sitting up in his bed. He patted the empty room so that she could lean against the wall. Clare obliged.
"How are things?" Clare asked, although she didn't care. Goliah shook his head.
"Horrible." He stated, looking down at his hands. Clare's eyebrow rose.
"Why is it horrible?" She asked.
"You wouldn't understand," he sighed, closing his eyes again. Clare shook him with little force. "Why are you even here? There must be something that you want so that you can continue to make my life horrible."
Clare's eyes widened. "I never made your life horrible." She argued.
Goliah snorted. "Yeah, sure." He remarked. "Then why am I here, getting help to get you out of my head? My mental health is poor ever since you've screwed me up like you have."
Clare shook her head. "It's not my fault." She responded.
Goliah looked at her with an angry expression. "It is your fault, Clare, and I know it. You led me on; I didn't know you were dating my cousin! But then I was the one who fell for you, and you just played me on. Is there anything good that comes out of that for me?"
Clare thought about it for a moment. She never thought that she ruined his life; she didn't notice that she was doing bad things at the same time. She was just having the fun that she deserved to have as a teenager.
She put her hand lightly above Goliah's. "I'm sorry," she replied. "I was caught up in the moment, and I do like you; never think that I don't."
Goliah's blue eyes were so different than Clare's. His were no longer the strong, sarcastic ones that he had when Clare was around. They were almost fully gray. Taking his hand away from her grasp, he sat farther away from her.
"I can't fall for you again," he whispered. Clare crawled closer to him.
"Why can't you?" She seductively said, trying to show all the lust that she had been hiding from everyone. Clare was always a good actress.
Goliah swallowed. "You'll just hurt me again," he whimpered. "I can't handle it anymore."
Clare's face was just an inch away from his. "I won't hurt you again." She sternly told him, and before she could close the gap Goliah did. Clare grabbed onto his hair, pulling it hard. Goliah took Clare underneath him, grabbing her waist. Their kisses were desperate, and when Clare thought he was around her finger Clare went to base two. She brought her hands under his shirt, caressing his abs. Goliah moaned into her mouth, Clare smirking in response.
Clare could hear the guards' boots not far away, so she pulled off Goliah and walked over to the door. "I'll see you later." She huskily said. Goliah looked at her, still love stricken, and nodded.
Once Clare was out of Goliah's sight, she smirked. She crawled into her bed with a new mischievous plan forming.
Like usual, R/R if you like the chapter! It's good to know that you actually like where the storyline's going :)
Also, I may be late updating tomorrow. Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and I'm going all out with one of my friends :D if you want the details I'll put them up tomorrow.
Replies:
EClarefan4ever: I don't get why either. Maybe that's what transgenders go through? I honestly don't know :P
aaataraxia: Thank you! :) And here's your update.
Eclare4life: Ahh but she hasn't gotten pills.. yet. ;)
RachRox12: Thank you! I'm just kinda going with the flow on the bipolarity so far. :)
mrld97: I'm glad that you look forward to it! :)
Eli and Clare Forever: I surely will :)
RingLeaderDegrassiFreakCircus: Thank you :) and yeah; if I were Eli, I think I would've been freaking out, too!
