Another version of my Breaking Dawn Parody, I re-wrote it because I've thought up some funnier stuff. And flamers that flamed my New Moon one... f'ck you! I don't care what you think!
TBC- x-tobecontinued-x (Elizabeth
TD- Xx-TallDwarf-xX (Sammy)
Location: Hospital.
Carlisle: OK. If I was Bella... what blood would I prefer? I'll try O-Negative.
J.D: Would you like any help, Dr Cullen?
Carlisle: Could you get me the key for the Blood Bank closet, J.D?
J.D: Sure. (In Head) As I was getting the key for Dr Cullen, I wondered how he got here so quickly, since he called five minutes ago... (Imagines Carlisle riding in on a Unicorn) You could be Dr Prince Charming...
Carlisle: J.D, the key.
J.D: Oh, yeah. (Unlocks door)
Carlisle: Thank you. (Collects blood) Hmm, I might get myself some Tru Blood.
AnnieCullen: Don't be shy, Suzie... just say H-
Sakeaoi: Shy? Why the hell would I be shy?!
AnnieCullen: You're right... go on.
Sakeaoi: Yey! Carlisle...
----
Location: Cullen House.
Carlisle: (Runs in) I come baring Blood!
Bella: Yum and Ew!
AnnieCullen: Normal humans would say 'I come baring Alcohol'.
Edward: And?
AnnieCullen: I'm just saying.
Edward: Why are you here? Is it your job to annoy us?
Alice: Did Aro send you? (Laughs) Of course he hasn't, I would of seen it!
AnnieCullen: I annoy you? And no, it's not my job, I chose to come here because I can.
Edward: Yes, you annoy us. And don't come here again.
AnnieCullen: Since you put it that way... no, I'm staying.
Bella: Ouch, the baby is kicking.
Rosalie: Can we name it?
Bella: EJ, duh! (Rib Breaks) Isn't it odd that everytime I say that a Rib breaks?
AnnieCullen: Not really, I'd feel pretty offended if I was a girl being mistaken for a guy.
Rosalie: Speaking of Genders, it might be a girl.
Bella: OK... Ruh-nez-may... Renesmee?
Rosalie: I love it!
AnnieCullen: I prefer Renes-tard... but Renesmee goes perfectly because it's stupid and annoying like the person it goes with.
Bella: (Rib Breaks) OW!
Edward: You're causing this to happen!
AnnieCullen: I know.
Edward: Well stop it.
AnnieCullen: Nope. I'm having way too much fun.
Edward: I'll... I'll bite you!
AnnieCullen: In the Twilight world, that would be considered a good thing, unless you're Team Jacob where it would be considered a bad thing, so bite away.
Edward: Oh. Can you be Team Jacob?
AnnieCullen: My dear Edward, that would mean changing all my usernames to AnnieBlack, and buying Team Jacob shirts. That takes up time and I don't have the money for it.. so I'm sticking to Team Edward.
Edward: Oh... what if I gave you money?
Bella: Edward! I thought you never bribed people?
Edward: She deduced me to it. She deduced me to a nervous wreck!
AnnieCullen: (Disappears)
----
Location: A Park
Jacob: So I'm here, in a park, waiting to imprint... man imprinting is boring!
AnnieCullen: I'll make things more interesting... (Turns on 'She Wolf' by Shakira)
Jacob: Man, you are such a bitch.
AnnieCullen: I think you'll find the only bitch around here is you.
Jacob: Ouch.
Lizzie: Hi. I like your car... THIEF!
AnnieCullen: I like her.
Jacob: Hi... I'm-
AnnieCullen: Annoying.
Jacob: (To AnnieCullen) Shut up. I'm Jacob Black.
Lizzie: I'm Lizzie.
TBC: (Runs in) I think you'll find the only Elizabeth in this story is me!
Lizzie: Oh... I'll go then. Bye Jacob... THEIF! (Runs away)
Jacob: What? You... I... she!
AnnieCullen: Maybe you should go back to Bella... she might be dead.
Jacob: You're right!
----
Location: Cullen House
Jacob: (Runs in) Bella, are you dead?!
Bella: Nope.
Jacob: Phew.
AnnieCullen: Damn.
Bella: Can I stand up?
AnnieCullen: Yes (Gets out Breaking Dawn and reads it)
Bella: Damn it, I kicked the blood over-
AnnieCullen: And now you spew up a whole lotta blood...
Bella: (Spews up a whole lotta blood)
Edward: OH MY GOD!
Jasper: Mmm... Bloooood....
AnnieCullen: I'll just sit here...
Edward: Finally something useful.
AnnieCullen: Sit here and Laugh! Hehe!
Bella: GET EJ OUT!
Renesmee: (Still in Womb) Thats it! (Breaks Spine)
Edward and Jacob: Bella, don't go into the light...
----
Location: Cullen House (2 Days later)
Bella: I'm awake!
AnnieCullen: Oh joy. We were having so much fun, too.
Edward: Wow... you look hot.
Bella: Thank-you... Edward?
Edward: Yes?
Bella: Sex?
Edward: Later, we need to hunt now.
Alice: Wait! Look in this mirror.
AnnieCullen: I wouldn't Bella, you might smash it.
Bella: (Looks in mirror) Stranger... vampire... red eyes... OH MY GOD!
AnnieCullen: (Throws rock at mirror) Oops, Bella you smashed the mirror with your utter ugliness.
Emmett: That was you. Now you have 7 years bad luck.
AnnieCullen: No I don't. It's my Parody, so nothing bad happens to me.
Everyone: (Looks up)
AnnieCullen: Edward's piano is there. And I did mean it when I said that nothing bad can happen to me.
----
Location: Living room of the Cullen House.
Rosalie: Renesmee... sleeeep.
Renesmee: (In head) Told them I was a girl... stupid immortals.
Jacob: I hope Bella's alive (Looks at Renesmee) No... Not her... please N- Pretty Renesmee.
AnnieCullen: Imprint, huh?
Jacob: Yeah.
AnnieCullen: Badass, especially on a half-breed.
Like? Oh, I'll be putting some reviewers in next chapter :)
Review, maybe?
xx
