A/N: Guten tag, meine freunde! I know I've been really bad about updating this regularly, but for the next few chapters, my goal is to be much more regular! I have some chapters already written sitting in a backlog, so I think this is an attainable goal. Thank you so very much for staying with this story, and I really appreciate the favorites, follows, and reviews I've gotten so far!

Anna sat in the armchair in the living room, waiting for Ludwig to come home. She rapidly tapped her heel against the rug and picked at her fingernails, neither doing anything to relieve the jitteriness writhing inside her.

She quickly jumped to her feet when she heard the key scraping in the lock in the front door.

The dogs came rushing ahead of her and met Ludwig as he came in. He seemed tense and only half-heartedly greeted them.

Anna took a deep breath to steady herself, but Ludwig spoke first. "Anna, I've made a decision."

"About what?" Dread made her feel nauseous. It might not be dread doing that…

"I'm joining the military."

The dogs scurried away, sensing the stifling tension in the silence that followed.

"The… military? You mean… you're going to war?"

Ludwig nodded. "Our country needs to win the war this time. You know how bad it was after we lost the First World War, and this one is shaping up to be the Second.

"But…" Hurt made her lips heavy and hard to move. "But you can't."

"I already did."

"What?" Her voice rose sharply. She felt tears pricking her eyes. "You didn't even talk to me about it!"

"Don't sound so accusing. I'm doing my patriotic duty. France crushed us with war reparations just a few years ago. We can't afford to let that happen again. Besides, why would I talk to you about it? You're not going." He sounded genuinely puzzled.

"Seriously? You seriously have no clue why a woman would want to discuss her husband abandoning her to go play soldier?" Anna knew she wasn't being constructive, but she couldn't bring herself to care at the moment, not before she vented. "I can't believe you're still so useless with social skills that you can't fathom why I might want to have a say in you going off to get shot at hundreds of miles away."

"This isn't a fucking game for me, Anna! I'm giving up everything. You think I want to leave my wife, my job, my home? You think I'm abandoning you? I'm putting my life on the line to protect you. I was expecting your support, but instead you insult me. Besides, if I'm so useless, then why do you care if I go to war? If I'm so damn useless, I might as well do you a favor while I'm in Russia and die of cold before I come home."

The tears were starting to trickle down her cheeks now. She sank to the floor. "You're not useless. Oh God, please don't die. Of anything. Anywhere. I need you home." She started sobbing.


Ludwig was paralyzed. She was just yelling at me. Now she's crying?

He kneeled next to her.

"Anna?" He kept his voice low.

"You're going to die, Ludwig! Please, please, please don't leave."

"We both need to be brave. This hurts for me, too, but it's the right thing to do."

She wept too hard to speak. An emotion close to panic rose up in Ludwig's throat. "Anna, please. Stop crying."

Anna slowly quieted while Ludwig gently stroked her hair. "I'm sorry, Ludwig," she sniffled. "I'm just so tired. I feel like everything upsets me more than it used to. And I just-" Her voice choked, and she rested her head in her hands.

Ludwig bundled her against his chest, touching his chin to the top of her head.

She pushed away, standing up. "I'm going to lie down."

He followed her as she slowly went upstairs to their bedroom. She sat heavily on the bed and flopped onto her back, closing her eyes. Ludwig stood for a moment in the doorway. Her face was flushed from crying.

Ludwig kicked off his shoes and laid next to her. She turned to her side, throwing her arm over him and nestling close.

Finally, Anna broke the silence, wearily saying, "You're leaving when I need you most."

Ludwig sighed. You're not exactly supportive right now either. "I'm defending you when you need it most-"

"No, Ludwig. I wasn't done. I have news for you, too… I'm pregnant."

Ludwig sat up. "What?"

Anna looked at him sullenly. "I've suspected for a little while now, but I wanted to wait to tell you until I was certain. But if you'd mentioned enlisting, I would have brought it up sooner."

Ludwig felt empty with shock. "What- how- how long has it been?"

"Hm, I'm maybe two months in."

"Two months? You've known for months?"

"No, I just told you. I didn't know. But I talked it over with my mother and grandmother, and… I'm pregnant, okay?

Icy fear swam in Ludwig's stomach. I don't know the first thing about children. I couldn't handle Anna crying. What am I going to do about a little one crying all the time? Don't they cry all the time?

Ludwig sank back down onto his back, dazed.

Anna watched him. "Aren't you excited?"

"I'm worried."

"Don't be. The mortality rate is a lot better than it used to be."

"What? What a morbid thing to say! Why would you say that? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"You said you were worried, so I thought you meant you were worried I would die in childbirth."

A suffocating wave of distress washed over him. I thought she meant the mortality of the infants, not the mothers! Anna might die. What if she dies, but the baby doesn't? How will I know what to do? What if I die at war and Anna dies, but the child survives? What will happen?

He felt Anna cuddle close to him. "Ludwig," she murmured. "Are you really going to Russia?"

"Most likely."

"Are you actually afraid of dying from the cold?"

"Napoleon's troops invaded Russia, and a great number of them died of hypothermia."

"That's a yes."

He sighed. "Yes. That's a yes."

Anna paused. "Well, I think we'll both just have pray to God and just do what we can. When do you leave?"

"In three weeks."

Ludwig closed his eyes, feeling very cold already.


Dear God, please end the war. I don't want Ludwig to leave, but I can't convince him. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to do this by myself.

Anna had been lying in bed for hours, awake. I can't sleep on Ludwig's last night before he leaves. I don't know how he can. Though I guess he's not the one who's going to be stuck here alone.

She could hear her husband's answer in her head: "Don't be so unreasonable."

He said that a lot these days. Even though Anna had to admit that, in the last few weeks, she let things get to her more than they used to, she was still convinced that she wasn't being unreasonable.

You're the one who's going to be trained for what you're about to do, she argued to the Ludwig in her head. Who's going to tell me what to do?

"It's not the same," he would say. "Your situation is natural. Your body will tell you what to do. War has to be learned."

If nature's going to take care of everything, then why do you worry about me? I know you do.

"You're right, my love. I couldn't bear to leave you when you feel so vulnerable. I'll tell the Nazis to stuff it. They can find someone else to fight their stupid war."

Anna sighed wearily. Now I just need our actual arguments to go that way.

Despite her fears, Anna already felt warmth spread through her at the thought of the child. Her child. Their child. The baby might be the only thing I have left of Ludwig.

She sat up, overwhelmed.

"Anna?" Ludwig was awake after all.

Oh, Ludwig. Bitter grief consumed her; it was crushing her.


"Anna? Are you alright?" Ludwig's voice sharpened in concern. Is she ill? Lately she's been ill.

Anna had been getting violently sick about three or four mornings a week for the last few weeks. Sometimes Ludwig woke up to an empty bed and found Anna curled on the bathroom floor. Her grandmother and mother both called it "morning sickness" and spoke as if it were normal, but it made fear clog Ludwig's throat. It can't be normal. Why would her body work against itself like that? She needs to be saving up energy, not expending it on such nonsense. It just isn't logical.

Anna still was not answering. Ludwig sat up. "Anna? Do you need help?"

She turned towards him. In the dark it was hard to make out her expression.

"…You're leaving. Really leaving… I just can't…" she trailed off.

Ludwig was relieved she wasn't hurt or sick. "Anna, I'm going to be fine. I'm going to training where I'll learn everything I need. I'm going to be a good soldier, and good soldiers survive war and come back home."

Now I just need to actually feel that way.

He gently pulled her arm. "Lie down. You need to rest."

She flopped down heavily onto her side. His heart skipped a beat. "Gentle, be gentle with yourself!"

She snorted. "You act as if I'm going to break just by moving. Being pregnant doesn't mean I'm made out of glass."

Ludwig was unconvinced. "Are you warm enough?"

"Yes, Ludwig." She sounded amused, though her voice was tinged with exasperation.

"You're not too warm, right? That's just as bad."

"Says who? Since when are you an expert on childbearing?"

Childbearing. Ludwig shuddered. It sounded painful.

She tugged at his arm. "If you're so worried that I can't take of myself, then you should stay here."

Ludwig made an annoyed noise in the back of his throat. "It's too late for that, Anna. I'm due at the training camp tomorrow. Just make sure you go to the doctor regularly. And check in with your mother and grandmother. And do whatever you think your body is telling you to do. This is a natural process, you know. You ought to have instincts."

"You don't seem to have much faith in my instincts."

"What? Of course I do. I'm just… double-checking."

"Hm mm. Sure you are."

He knew it would weaken his argument, but he wasn't going to get any semblance of rest until he made sure she was well. Which is all I'm doing, just making sure. Anna's going through a completely natural process. She doesn't need my help. I'm just offering it while I'm here. "You're not hungry, are you? Or should I bring you some water?"

"I'm quite alright. Just lie down, Dr. Ludwig."

"I'm not a doctor," he grumbled, settling down and pressing close to her. "It's just common sense."

She chuckled quietly.

A few quiet moments passed as Ludwig felt Anna's warmth soak into him. "Are you getting overheated from me being so close?"

"Ludwig, I hope you put as much effort into taking care of yourself while you're away."

He bundled her against his chest and pressed his lips to the top of her head. "I will. I'm strong. I can handle fighting. You don't have anything to worry about."

"I have everything to worry about."

They lapsed into silence while Ludwig ran his fingers through her hair, hoping he was calming her. Maybe that's why she's sick all the time. She's too anxious.

He kissed the top of her head again.

Anna turned her head away from his chest to look at him. "Before I got to know you, I would never have imagined you were this sweet."

Sweet? He felt his face burn. "I'm not really."

"What, you've been lying to me for the last two and a half years?" She laughed. "I don't think so. You have a soft spot, Herr Germany."

"You should get some sleep, Anna."

"This is our last night together. I can survive with a bit less than usual." She kissed the corner of his mouth, lingering there.

Ludwig swallowed, pushing away his desire. That's probably not what she means. Besides, she needs her sleep, and so do I. "No, we both-"

He broke off as Anna persisted, nibbling at the soft skin on his neck. Ludwig could feel his excitement rising between his legs. Okay, maybe that is what she meant. Anna was at his lips again, lightly holding his bottom lip between her teeth. Ah, what the hell, she's probably right. A little less sleep can't hurt.