Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine.
"You're not Dean." A gravelly voice deadpanned from the backseat. The car lurched as Stella slammed her foot on the brake. Sam's laughter could be heard for miles.
"Who the hell are you?" Stella demanded, ignoring the honks from the other vehicles on the road forced to pass her now that she had decided to park the Impala in the middle of the highway.
"I am an angel of the Lord." The man in the backseat declared, his eyes narrowed. "And you, imposter, have exactly three seconds before I start smiting."
"Why do people keep telling me that?" Stella demanded rhetorically, "Well hell-o to you too. Castiel, right? I agree with Book Dean, you do come across as a huge dick."
"Though my true form is indeed large, I am not shaped like a phallus."
"Is he going to smite me if I laugh at that?" Stella asked, turning to Sam. She didn't know what it was about the angel that she found so comical; but between the deep gravelly voice, and the lack of familiarity with common concepts and phrases, she was having a difficult time maintaining a straight face in his presence.
"Hard to say."
The angel in the backseat had tilted his head and was studying her closely as though she were a bug beneath his microscope. The feeling was not comforting and she was almost expecting him to bring out a fly swatter, perhaps a can of Raid.
"Stop mocking me, you tiny human!"
"I'm sorry." Stella agreed, failing to stifle her laughter. She was so going to Hell. "It's just…so…easy."
Castiel clearly made his decision to ignore the girl in the driver's seat who was not Dean, and addressed Sam instead. Stella, to the relief of everybody on the road behind her, eased her foot off of the brake pedal.
"I need your help." The angel told Sam. "The state of Texas has broken off straight down Texas highway 44 from Laredo to Corpus Christi. Somehow, despite normal tidal patterns, it has drifted down and around Mexico and is now floating off the coast of California. We think that the Scuba Demons, whom we have long suspected of possessing the Holy Pallet Jack, are somehow involved."
"Dude. There are so many things wrong about that statement." Sam groaned.
"How does a state just break? Are there any fault lines in that area? Plate tectonics or something?"
"I think there might be a fault in that area," Sam answered thoughtfully, "but on the map I can never tell if the line goes through Texas or if it's in Mexico. I'll check it out online when we get to the book store."
"So you think maybe an earthquake? I mean, between the Rio Grande and the Gulf of Mexico, that part of Texas is basically an island already."
"I believe the correct term is peninsula." Sam replied.
"It's really not," Stella shot back. "There's only one peninsula in Texas, and it's in Galveston."
"There was no warning," Cas replied, likely to remind the two of his presence. "A few hours ago there was a massive earthquake. Several people have reported hearing a loud cracking sound."
"So you want us to- what exactly?" Stella asked. All of this sounded insane, it was a little overwhelming for the new comer. "Say we find this 'Magical Pallet Jack', we hand it over and you'll put Texas back together? And where do I even start on these 'Scuba Demons'?"
"We've done weirder," Sam shrugged.
"But now it just sounds like he's making things up."
"It's not a magical pallet jack," Cas replied, he was currently perched between the two front seats watching her like a vulture, if Stella needed to hit the brakes again for any reason, the angel would probably break his vessel's nose on her face. "It's a Holy Pallet Jack. It's the Jack God used in the beginning to put all of the continents where he wanted them."
Stella turned to face the angel, the tip of her nose pressed against the tip of his, and she had only one thing to say.
"Dude. Personal space."
"Sorry," the angel murmured. He rearranged himself in the center of the backseat.
"Thanks."
"So, Cas," Sam made an attempt to get the conversation back on track, "I'm going to need you to explain that whole 'Scuba Demons' thing you mentioned. I hate to admit it, but Stella's right. It really does sound like you're making shit up now."
"What do you not understand? They are just demons who live on the ocean floor."
"Oh, is that all…" Sam rolled his eyes.
"Is it bad that that made sense?" Stella asked.
"Probably," Sam admitted. "You've been here for what, four hours? You're kinda supposed to be stuck in the 'he's cute, but nothing he says makes sense' phase of the game."
"Who is cute?"
"Well, er, I suppose that depends on your personal preferences." Sam laughed nervously. The last time he had encountered a fangirl, Dean had needed to pry her off of him. Though it was true that Stella seemed to have herself under control, he didn't trust the calm. In Sam Winchester's life, calm had always meant that a storm was brewing. "Ya know…Cas isn't bad looking….you've seen me naked, clearly I'm sexy as hell…you're a self-proclaimed Dean Girl…"
"Dean is not here." Cas reminded them helpfully.
"Thanks for that, Cas." Sam snorted.
"You are welcome, Sam."
"Oh, I get it. You think that I should be all doe-eyed and drooly because I'm surrounded by attractive dudes."
"I don't understand that reference."
"Yes, exactly."
"You guys do this a lot then? Well, I don't know what to tell you," Stella's eyes stayed on the road as she spoke. "I'm guessing that I'm under some sort of spell. Ordinarily I think I would probably be having a panic attack. I mean, waking up in a strange location, with a strange man…"
Sam smirked, and Cas eyed the two of them suspiciously
"I just… I know these things, and it's like there are someone else's memories mixed with mine. Like…maybe I'm turning into somebody else entirely."
"That's one theory," Sam agreed. "I'll call Bobby, maybe he can put some feelers out."
"I'll return to Heaven and do some research myself." Cas agreed. He disappeared with a fluttering sound, presumably to do just that.
"And despite all of that," Stella couldn't help the smile that crossed her face, "I'm still super excited to be hanging out with the men behind the characters from my favorite series. You really are stupidly attractive, and when I'm reading there is a little voice inside my head that starts cheering whenever Bobby does something awesome."
A/n: Thanks to everyone who is continuing to enjoy this. Pardon my enthusiastic use of the exclamation point. As always, I'm surprised by the response and excited by all of the feedback! To anyone new here, welcome! Make sure you review, subscribe, and stay tuned to find out what happens next!
