"It's not love,

but it's better than dreaming." – Fumes, Eden featuring Gnash

~xxx~

iii | DENIAL

"WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON HERE?"

Knuckles blinked. Julie didn't seem to be buying the whole going on a date thing clear enough. He shouldn't have been so surprised; Julie had always been perceptive like that. In some ways, it reminded him of Rouge, not like the echidna wanted to hear that.

Knuckles scoffed. "I'm taking you out on a date."

He ignored Julie's worried look. He knew that there was a part of feeling guilty, telling himself that he shouldn't be going on a date and using Julie to get over Rouge. He knew deep down that his feelings for the bat hadn't gone anywhere and he hated it, plus, it wasn't like he didn't like Julie.

Julie was cool, she was sweet in her own scary kind of way and he did know her for a long time. His parents liked her and her parents liked him. Clearly, they had all the signs of them being a romantic couple. But the only problem was that he didn't know how he felt for Julie.

She wasn't ugly, she was actually pretty attractive and she wasn't bad to talk to or anything. He didn't mind holding her hand. But didn't mind and not too bad were probably not the format of relationships. But was he going to be holding on to Rouge for this long?

"Knuckles." Julie dragged with annoyance. He could hear a little bit of disappointment in her voice. Did she want this. Did she want to be on a date with him?

That made things both harder and easier, if that was even possible.

"Alright, let's not call it a date. Let's call it catching up over the years we've missed." Knuckles commented as Julie seemed content with his answer, much to his relief.

Thank chaos.

"So, what's going on between you and Rouge?"

Knuckles raised an eyebrow. Why did she care? She had never given him any signs that she had a crush on him, so what was promoting her to act all jealous? Perhaps it was the same thing that Rouge was feeling?

"Nothing." Knuckles stammered out, annoyed at himself for sounding suspicious.

"Nothing. Nothing at all?" she asked as Knuckles narrowed his eyes. There was something going on around here, and he wasn't sure what it was. But he knew that he wanted to know.

"Nope. She's just my best—" Julie's murderous glare stopped him from completing the sentence.

"You know." he awkwardly filled in as he glanced at the menu before she sighed.

"Good. Because I was thinking maybe something can start off between us."

Knuckles blinked in surprise. He glanced at the now blushing echidna. She had just admitted to liking him, something that Knuckles thought would never happen. A part of him told her to say he would rather stay friends, but he knew that even if he stayed friends with her, he was equally going to stay friends with Rouge.

Julie is nice. It's not like I hate her.

You don't know how you feel about her.

But he could sort it out. Being in a relationship isn't that different from a friendship. Plus, it wasn't like they were rushing into anything.

"something?" Knuckles asked in confusion as Julie rolled her eyes.

"Wow, maybe the bat is right, you are a knucklehead." she chuckled. "A relationship. I mean, if you want."

Her tomboy-ish attitude covered her vulnerable side that she had just exhibited. Knuckles couldn't help but find it cute.

Do I want a relationship?

A few months ago, he would have said no, simply because he wouldn't want to be with anybody else besides Rouge. A year ago, he was dating Tikal and hiding his feelings for Rouge. But that was different, he was planning to get over her then, right?

That doesn't make it any more justifiable.

He wasn't using Julie, he was simply investigating if someone else and him could work, and that wasn't bad, right?

"I um…"

BUZZ BUZZ!

Knuckles groaned, hiding a sigh of relief he wanted to realise before getting his phone.

"Sorry." he muttered before looking at the text.

He sighed, before unlocking his phone before opening the message.

Bat Girl: 911. Meet me at Twinkle Park?

Knuckles sighed, before closing his phone. It's a 911, he had to go. He also wanted to avoid Julie's question completely.

"I have to go." Knuckles sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Knuckles—"

He didn't wait for her to finish before he left Meh Burger, parts of him feeling guilty and somewhat relieved.

He found her sitting on the bench.

He knew what that meant.

The ivory bat was currently in grey sweatpants and a black long sleeve top, covering with a black coat. He had guessed that she didn't really care about her appearance, which made him realise how serious the problem was.

He sighed, before sitting next to her, the autumn breeze hitting the two of them.

"He's back?" Knuckles asked as Rouge nodded.

She scoffed. "She claims that he has to stay because of the business. They're probably fucking right now."

"You didn't—"

"No." Rouge cut off dismissively.

There was anger in her voice, but he knew that her anger wasn't directed at him. There was silence between the two, relieved that she hadn't fallen for the trap that she had started in freshmen year, when the drama happened.

"I'm sorry." Rouge apologised.

Knuckles cocked a brow, surprised that she was actually apologising.

"Sorry for what?"

"Interrupting your date." Rouge said, her duh tone very existent. "You didn't have to—"

"Of course I did." Knuckles cut off instantly.

Part of him knew this was wrong. Showing his caring and affectionate side, this was what had landed him in the trap in the first place. The trap of falling in love with and knowing that she wouldn't feel the same.

She gave him a small smile before resting her head on his shoulders. She looked comfortable, and it made him happy. Her usual scent of pomegranate filled his nose with satisfaction. He shouldn't be doing this, he shouldn't be out here, being like this with her.

"I love you Knucklehead." she said.

Love.

He wanted to kiss her right there. Her lips coated with her usual gloss that made her lips ever so kissable. Her teal eyes gleaming at him as he said it. How could he not kiss her? But he knew he couldn't.

Instead, he smiled back, hiding his pain. "I love you too."

She smiled contently as Knuckles looked out in the distance, trying to make his love for her platonic.

~xxx~

"Rouge, you're back." Her father said as she closed the door behind her. She rolled her eyes at the sight of the ivory bat, her inherited teal eyes glancing at her as she eyed him.

She scoffed. "Nice to see that you're still in your suit."

"ROUGE!" her mother scolded as she frowned.

Normally, every child would be happy to see the sight of her family finally back together, but not Rouge. Rouge was happily content with just her and her mother in her life, she didn't need the man who left for the youngest thing in his office.

"It's okay, Rich." her father reassured. "Now honey—"

"Don't." Rouge hissed. "Unlike mum, I wouldn't be bought by your affections."

"Okay." her father frowned. "I know that I haven't been the best, but I'm here now."

"Right because your little slut dumped you. Not because you want to be." Rouge scoffed, glaring at her mother.

She had promised, promised that she wouldn't let him in the house. She knew that her mother was weak when it came to him. She knew that love made people do crazy things but this was simply toxic. He had her under her spell and she wasn't a fan of it.

"Rouge, at least come with us for dinner." her mother pleaded as Rouge scoffed.

"No. You two have fun, I'm not going anywhere with that deserter." she pointed at her father before walking furiously to her room and slamming the door.

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

Too late. The tears were already coming in. She was not crying because of her father. She wouldn't. She was crying because of Knuckles.

Knuckles.

She cared for him deeply—like any best friend would—but she knew that there was a part of her that felt guilty. Guilty of taking Knuckles out of his date. She didn't want to be the middle person of whatever their relationship might be, but she didn't want to lose Knuckles.

She couldn't. She wouldn't.

So why did she keep on thinking that she will?

~xxx~

Knuckles pressed Julie's caller ID, before the phone started ringing.

One Ring.

Two Rings.

"What the hell do you want?" Julie hissed.

Knuckles sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, I had to be with Rouge, I—"

"Knuckles." She cut off. There was a bitter and exasperated tone in her voice. "Is there something between you and Rouge?"

"No." That was the honest truth. There was nothing between him and Rouge.

"Do you want there to be?"

The question that he didn't want to answer. He didn't know anymore. He had told himself this summer that it was time to completely get over her. That the fantasy of best friends falling in love was simply that, a fantasy and there was nothing more and nothing less.

Perhaps Julie could make him see that.

"No." he sighed before continuing. "I wanna give us a try."

She sighed through the line. "Well you better not ditch me asshole."

He chuckled as she ended the call, leaving Knuckles to think about—

"So you're dating her?"

Knuckles almost jumped. The sight of Wynmacher leaning on his door was something that he was not expecting. He didn't hate his supposedly new father but he didn't mind not spending time with him. He adored his mother, something that made it hard for him to talk to.

"I guess." Knuckles shrugged, hating where the conversation was going.

"So, what are you going to do about Rouge?" he asked as Knuckles clicked his tongue.

He was grateful his mother wasn't home yet, but knowing how close Julie's parents were with his, she would probably find out later about the new relationship. Knuckles didn't want to dump her but he knew that he couldn't exactly keep her as a best friend.

He normally could, but considering the fact that he wanted to get over her, he guessed that perhaps the two of them being best friends wasn't exactly the best plan.

Plus, there was the whole the Julie and Rouge practically hating each other.

"What do you mean?" Knuckles asked innocently as Wynmacher cocked a brow.

Knuckles let out a defeated sigh. "I don't know yet." he glanced at Wynmacher. "Please don't—"

"Relax. The last thing I need right now is your mum acting crazy." he reassured as Knuckles let out a short chuckle, before looking up at the ceiling, collecting his thoughts.

~xxx~

Rouge sighed as she woke up.

She prayed that yesterday was nothing more than a dream. A dream that her stupid father had decided to come back into her life and had her mother on a hook. She refused to believe it.

But when she got ready and wore her outfit for school, adjusting her denim jacket, before seeing her father on his usual seat on the dining table. She frowned. This sick, twisted family reunion was actually real.

"Good morning daughter." he greeted.

"Morning Satan." she chirped as her mother sent her a dangerous glare before putting her breakfast on the table.

Rouge glanced at her mother before she sat down at her usual seat, beside him. It sickened her. It sickened her how he just managed to waltz back in here and everything was all of a sudden back to normal.

He left. Left for some slut. He deserves to be thrown out not welcomed like he was the king that came back from a triumphant war.

"What's all this?" Rouge asked, pointing at her plate.

"This" her mother mimicked her pointing. "is what your father wanted. He said he wanted us all to have a family breakfast."

"Last time this happened, we got introduced to your whore. Is this a part two?" Rouge witted out as her father sighed.

"I understand I made a mistake but I want to fix it." Her father explained as Rouge rolled her eyes.

"Let me take you to school." he offered as Rouge scoffed.

"I'm good. I have a ride." Rouge scoffed before getting off the table.

"Thanks for breakfast but I'm not entering an episode of dysfunctional family 101." Rouge hissed before carrying her bag and slamming the door behind her.

She huffed as she was outside her apartment building before bringing out her ivory phone and messaging Knuckles.

Rouge:Walk me to school?

Knuckles: Can't. I'm walking with Julie today

Rouge sighed, tying not the let the feeling of annoyance get to her. She checked the time on her phone. 8:05am. She had guessed that most of her friends were already in school, if not almost there. She huffed. Her nearest underground station was a 15-minute walk and there was no way that she was going to—

"Let me take you."

She groaned before turning to see her father in a suit. Her mother following suit, wearing her pink work suit today as Rouge frowned. She did have no other choice.

"Fine." Rouge huffed. "But this means nothing."

~xxx~

Shadow was surprised.

It took a lot for the ebony hedgehog to be surprised, considering that he didn't care much about people's lives, especially Knuckles. But there was no denying his surprise when he saw the red echidna with the lavender echidna rather than the ivory bat.

Were they dating now?

Shadow couldn't believe he was involving himself in something trivial.

"Yo Grumphog!"

Shadow groaned before seeing the ivory bat approach him; she seemed unaffected by the two echidnas who seemed to be getting very friendly with each other. But Rouge was good at hiding her emotions.

"What?" Shadow groaned as Rouge smirked at him.

"C'mon, didn't you miss me?" she winked as Shadow rolled his eyes.

It was amazing how the two of them instantly went back to being friends. Most people thought that they would hate each other, considering they argued about how she cheated on him with Knuckles but that wasn't the case.

But then again, even though they were friends, he wasn't in the mood to be Knuckles' replacement.

"Hmph." he commented as Rouge chuckled.

"Please tell me you're not gossiping about Sega's new it couple of the week." Rouge groaned, glancing—more like glaring—at the couple. Shadow fought the urge to roll his eyes. He knew that she was right, but he also knew how in denial the bat was.

"Who brought you to school?" Shadow asked, eager to change the subject.

"My dad." Rouge grimaced as Shadow sighed.

BRING BRING!

Thank Chaos.

He may love and care for Rouge, but giving affectionate advice and pretending to care was not really his thing. Luckily, he had physics which meant that he didn't have to deal with either one of them. Oh the joy.

He sighed before walking into Dr. Finitevius physics class, only to see the echidna have a large frown on his face.

"You're three seconds late." he commented as Shadow raised a brow, but refused to question it.

"Sit next to Miss Tikal."

Shadow glanced at the peach echidna who was currently playing with her pen. He knew that she was in his friend group, he had realised that he had never talked to her by himself. There was no denying that she was cute and pretty, very pretty. She could have done way better than Knuckles.

He still didn't understand that relationship but hey it happened.

He sat next to her as she sent him a soft smile. He couldn't help but give her a little smile back. Her smile felt different and it was a good different. He normally wasn't a huge fan of smiling, but with her, it seemed different.

"Hey." she beamed. Shadow sent her a small smile. He realised that perhaps smiling was her only emotion.

"You like smiling a lot, don't you?" Shadow asked as she shrugged.

"Smiling makes the day better." she admitted before looking at him, her cobalt eyes sparkling. "You'd look nice when you smile."

"How would you know?" Shadow scoffed, a part of him hoped he didn't make the girl afraid of him.

"Because people who don't seem like they smile a lot have the most beautiful smiles." she explained.

Shadow blinked, speechless as to what to say. Normally, people talking about his stoic personality wasn't the highlight of his day, but he didn't mind when she did it. Hell, when he was dating Rouge, he got annoyed when they talked about it.

So what made her different?

~xxx~

"I need a model!" Amy huffed as she fell on the student lounge couch.

"I can be it." Sally offered as Amy smiled at her friend.

"I love you, but I need a male model." Amy huffed. "Miss Breezie believes that we should do the opposite gender. Plus, she's obsessed with guys." Amy rolled her eyes at her last statement.

"Why not ask Dexter?"

Amy frowned. Dexter and her had not been on speaking terms for a while. Since summer, the hedgehog had been acting weird around her, avoiding her completely, then being angry when she was supposedly meant to meet him. Was this the relationship that she wanted to be in?

"Hey guys!"

Amy wheezed. She knew that cocky voice. It was the same voice that she had fallen in love with since elementary school, the same voice that made her smile when he thanked her for making cookies for him, even though she made it for him everyday.

It sucked that she still had feelings for him. She felt like no matter what she did, her feelings for the blue hedgehog wouldn't go away. And it didn't help that he was sitting on the arm of the chair that she was sitting on.

"Hey guys." Sally beamed, the smirk on her face made Amy want to sink into the ground.

"What you girls up to?" Manic asked as Sally smirked even more.

"Nothing really. Amy needs a male model for her project." Sally shrugged. She hated the look that Manic had on his face, because he was starting to get what Sally was up to.

"Oh. Sonic would be great as a model right?" Manic winked as Amy tried not to turn as red as a tomato.

"I mean, I need it for next period, if you're not free then—"

"I'm free, Ames." he smiled as Amy tried not to faint on the spot.

Ames. The nickname that he had given her when they had first met. He claimed that calling everyone by their real names was pretty boring most of the time. But the way he said Ames made her heat skip a beat.

Chaos Amy, you have a boyfriend, control yourself.

"Alright." Amy let out, sending a small smile. The blue hedgehog smiled, before leaving with his brother as Amy sent a look in Sally's way.

"You're welcome." she winked.

"Sally! I'm still technically with Dexter." Amy reminded as Sally sighed.

"Look, you've been saying you want to break up with Dexter for a while. Maybe this is your chance. Dexter never treated you right anyway."

Amy sighed. She knew that Sally was right. Dexter and her always had problems and it wasn't like he was acting like the best boyfriend in the world right now. She did want to end the relationship, plus Sonic was willing to do this, something that Dexter claimed that he hated.

Doesn't mean that Sonic likes me. She reminded herself. He's just being a friend, something that he'd always be to me.

~xxx~

"You're leaving me alone with Amy?!" Sonic hissed when he had dragged Manic to the boy's bathroom.

His green brother chuckled, much to his annoyance. "Not like you don't want it."

"Of course I want it." Sonic huffed. He had wanted it for a long time, but being alone with her, while she still technically had a boyfriend? It was wrong, considering he liked the girl.

All he would want to do was kiss her, especially if he was going to be her model and she was going to be kind of touching him.

"So what's the problem?" Manic shrugged as Sonic deadpanned.

"Oh, I don't know." Sonic shrugged sarcastically. "How about her boyfriend?"

"Her boyfriend that hasn't spoken to her since summer? That guy? Plus, we all know where her heart lies." Manic winked as Sonic couldn't help but blush a little. Perhaps he did have a chance, to finally be with Amy Rose. Be the pink and blue couple that Sonia continuously teased him about.

Perhaps it was finally time to man up.

"I need you to take off your hoodie." Amy started off as Sonic nodded, following his orders.

He hated the awkwardness that around the two of them. They were friends, and Sonic cared about her, so why in chaos was this so awkward?

Maybe because you've liked her since you broke up with Tiara and she started dating Dexter.

Amy smiled at the hedgehog before getting a white jacket embedded with roses on it. Amy gave it to him, before trying it on and realising that it was a perfect it.

"How is it?" Amy asked as Sonic looked in the mirror.

"It's great Ames!" he beamed before asking. "You design this yourself?"

"Yeah, the theme of our project is flowers so ironically, I went with rose." Amy chuckled as Sonic smiled at her. The awkwardness from before was filled with comfortable silence with emerald eyes meeting jade eyes.

Chaos, I want to kiss her.

Amy coughed awkwardly. "Um… I have some other things I need you to try."

Sonic nodded, trying to remove the romantic thoughts from his head as he watched the pink hedgehog go into the storage room. He sighed, before hearing moans and groans from the corridor. Puzzled, the blue hedgehog walked out of the DT classroom before looking at the sight.

He frowned at the sight of his ex-girlfriend making out ferociously with Dexter by a locker. Blood boiled inside of him before tearing the two of them apart, glaring at Dexter viciously.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sonic hissed.

Tiara chuckled, her hand on hips. "Sonic, you jealous?"

Sonic narrowed his eyes. He couldn't believe that he dated her. How could he not see how much of a bitch that she was? He had guessed his freshmen hormones got the better of him, much to his demise.

"You wish." Sonic spat, glaring at the hedgehog. "How the hell could you do this to Amy?"

"That pink brat? Please, we had our run. But she was always going to like you." Dexter scoffed at what Sonic was wearing. "You're even her model."

"Because you're too buys swapping spit with this." Someone hissed as Sonic turned before seeing Amy. There was hurt in her eyes, he could tell, but it was mostly anger that existed in her eyes.

"Amy I—"

"Don't." she interrupted harshly before pointing at Tiara "This is who you were smashing during summer? This was the reason that you weren't willing to help me with anything? You were cheating on me?"

"Stop acting like you care." Tiara interjected before moving closer to him. "You never cared about him, but I did."

Sonic scoffed. "You care about no one but yourself."

Sonic watched Amy glare murderously at her boyfriend. "Get the hell out of my life."

"Amy—"

"C'mon babe." Tiara ordered as she dragged the brown hedgehog away. Sonic glared at the two before they completely exited. He sighed, before pulling Amy for a hug, her heavenly scent of roses and strawberries engulfing him.

"He is an idiot." Sonic reassured her as he felt her nod, Sonic stroking her hair affectionately.

So much for those platonic thoughts about Amy.

~xxx~

"Silver, you work with Blaze."

Silver blinked. The film and photography teachers believed that the students should work together in order to produce their semester project. He didn't mind working with Blaze—in fact, he loved the idea—but he wasn't sure if the purple cat even still liked him or not.

They didn't talk like they used to. They weren't as comfortable with each other as they were before and Silver wanted to change that. But he knew Blaze, she was reserved, if he wanted to do anything about their existing relationship, he had to be the one to man up to her. Even though a part of him was terrified of her.

The purple cat gave him a small smile before sitting next to him.

Silver, start a conversation, say something.

"Hey." he let out before mentally slapping himself. Hey? Really dude?

"Hi." she let out, her clam demeanour existent.

"You got any ideas?" Silver asked, hating himself for not asking the questions that he wanted to ask. Questions such as why don't you talk to me anymore? Why is it awkward between us?

He knew why it was awkward for him, but he didn't know why she acted awkward around him.

He guessed he was afraid. After all, Blaze didn't easily open up and he feared that asking questions like that would ruin any possible chance of a future friendship with her, more or less thinking about something more.

And chaos knows he wanted something more.

"Not really." She admitted.

"You can come to my house after school and we can discuss."

He flushed as soon as he said that. He really hoped that Blaze didn't take the message the wrong way. He may have liked this girl for a while but that didn't mean that she didn't terrify the hell out of him.

"Uh." he stammered. "I mean like um—"

She giggled, which was music to his ears. "I understand what you mean."

She held his hand that was moving frantically when he was explaining.

She sent him a soft smile. At least his hand stopped moving frantically, but his heart was on a whole different level.

~xxx~

There was something weird on the lunch table.

He noticed as soon as he sat down with Julie. Everyone was acting… weird. Sonic and Amy were having awkward googly stares, as well as Blaze and Silver. While that was important to him—as his friends were finally starting to man up about their feelings—but what seemed to surprise him the most was Rouge.

Who was currently sitting next to Shadow.

He couldn't help the anger that was boiling inside of him. Were they back together? He doubted it, if they were, she would have made it pretty clear, considering that he was one of the hottest guys in the school.

He shouldn't have anger boiling inside him, especially with his somewhat new girlfriend sitting beside him.

"So, you two finally dating?" Manic grinned as Knuckles rolled his eyes, relieved that the green hedgehog took him away from his thoughts.

"Something like that." Julie smiled as Knuckles smiled back. He was mostly happy that she didn't fully say yes. They were still deciding what they were, which was good enough for him.

"Power couple of the year." Rouge winked, although there was a hint of sarcasm in it. Was she angry at him for dating her?

No, if she was angry, she wouldn't have apologised for interrupting our somewhat date.

So much for being hopeful.

"Thanks." Julie let out bitterly.

"Anyway." Tails intervened, the natural peacemaker. "You guys seem happy."

"Thanks bud." Knuckles grinned as Julie sent him a smile.

"Knuckles, can I talk to you?" Tikal asked.

Knuckles was surprised, there was no bitterness between them since their breakup was pretty much wanted on both sides, so he wondered what on Mobius she would have wanted to talk about.

Knuckles left the table with the peach echidna, being as confused as the rest of the group before Tikal took him behind the school building.

"Everything okay?" Knuckles asked.

"Are you sure you want to date Julie?" Tikal asked. Knuckles blinked. Did she want to get back together?

No.

That he was pretty sure of. She had led no signs of wanting him back and Rouge would have suggested it otherwise. But the thought was still on his mind regardless.

"Yeah." Knuckles let out. "Of course I will be, why?"

Tikal sighed. "It's just, I thought you broke up with me to be with someone else."

"That someone else is Julie." Knuckles replied obnoxiously but knowing exactly what Tikal was talking about. Luckily, Tikal was a patient girl who didn't lose her temper that easily.

"Is it?" she asked. "Because when we broke up, your heart seemed set on someone else."

Knuckles gulped. She knew. She knew his feelings for Rouge. Otherwise she wouldn't ask him out here like this. She wouldn't give him the worried look that she was giving him now.

Knuckles chuckled, a bitter undertone to it. "Rouge? She's just my best friend. Nothing more and nothing less."

He knew that she didn't believe him and he knew that he wasn't saying it to her. He was saying it to himself. He was saying it to the part that was jealous of Rouge sitting next to Shadow and not her. He was jealous that she seemed more engrossed in her conversation with Shadow than being curious about his love life.

"Besides, she's probably going to get back together with Shadow." Knuckles shrugged, an unknowing look reached Tikal's face before she sighed.

"Knuckles." she bit her lip before letting out. "You can't live in a world of denial."

"I'm not." he answered, very quickly and defensively.

She let out exasperated sigh, as if she was tried of arguing her point. "I care about you."

"I know." he let out. "Me too."

The two went back to the table, Knuckles giving Julie a kiss on the cheek as the table continued to be invested in Manic's topic of conversation. He thought about what Tikal had said.

You can't live in a world of denial.

But he rather live in that than in a world of fantasies.

~xxx~

NEW UPDATE! YAY!

I had some couple moments in this chapter and there's more to come! I also had some angst Knuxouge moments and angst moments in general that I am in love with.

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter and see you all soon.

-xamyharuno