Chapter 4

Groggily, Mana opened his eyes, vision blurry as he attempted to figure out where the hell he was. It was difficult to do so, as it was very dark, making it nearly impossible for him to see anything. Occupied by trying to figure where he was, he shivered.

It was dark, cold, terrifying.

Where was he?

An odor, a strange odor registered in his mind, and he made the mistake of turning his head, where the scent of decay was stronger.

Red.

Scarlet.

Crimson.

There were crimson stains on the floor, fresh, vermillion pools of liquid slowly drawing closer to him. A body, no, two bodies lay in front of him, blood spilling out of their bodies, wounds refusing to close. They're eyes were facing him, the frigid depths of nothingness boring into his skull, conveying a message more powerful than words could ever express.

You killed us.

'NO I DIDN'T!'

He shrieked at the bodies, which of course, didn't respond. But their eyes, though no life resided within them, the blood continuous oozing from the body until it was dry, gazed blankly at him.

Judging him.

Demanding why he had run.

Why he had abandoned them.

'PLEASE, I WAS SCARED, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!'

Golden eyes remained unfazed, fixated on the stupefied boy, who buried his face in his hands, trying to rid the images of the corpses from his mind.

Guilt.

He was guilty of leaving them to die, a coward through and through.

Then, something grabbed his shoulder, dragging him away from the scene of bloodshed.

'NO, DON'T TAKE ME! NEAH! MOTHER!'

And then there were hands, touching him, groping him, molesting him with such lustful desire, he could barely hold back his screams of protest, though he withered in the grasps, furiously trying to escape this hell. But they only further tightened their grip, breaching his defenses further, pressing their filthy lips against his own, his ear, collarbone.

Disgust.

Revulsion.

Hatred.

Fury.

Helplessness.

Words were whispered into his ear as he was taken again and again, coaxing him to give in and admit that he enjoyed this, even so much as craved it. Nothing could be further from the truth, and on he struggled fruitlessly, unable to escape the nightmare and falling victim to it once more.


He awoke with a strangled cry, sitting upright immediately and still fighting the phantom touches he felt, though he had managed to exit his nightmare. He flipped off the bed with a loud thud, whimpering fearfully and desperately trying to forget their grotesque touch from his memory.

His heart beat erratically, his breath short as he panted, shaking as the nightmare was fresh in his mind, tears streaming down from his beautiful golden hues and onto the floor. It had been a week since he had been bought by Cross, and he had not been touched since the first night, aside from the occasional kisses, hugs, and little other things which made Mana's heart flutter dangerously. Nightmares hadn't bothered him for the longest of times, and why they had decided now to come back was beyond Mana, as tonight was the worst, since he was usually able to hold it together enough to simply fall back asleep not a few minutes after he had awoken. Though he was careful not to wake Cross, he had somehow managed to not awaken him once this whole week, but then again, he didn't normally wake up in such a mess. Mana decided to wait for the moment to pass, the cool floorboards soon stained with small pools of tears.

God, he so desperately wished for that gorgeous red hairs touch, it had been so long since someone he had genuinely cared for actually return the feelings and give him equal love in return for his. Craving those soft caresses from those calloused hands, Mana's body shivered, a quiet whimper of torment escaping him as he held his body tightly. The feelings of disgust were beginning to fade, and yet, he could not get rid of the ever nagging repulsion he felt towards himself, for enjoying their touch, his body reacting to it when he had felt no such pleasure in the least.

"Marian."

He whispered to himself as quietly as possible, tears streaming down his faster, golden eyes filled with misery as they stared at the floor. Carried away in his thoughts and trying to ignore the continuous revolting memories which were playing over in his head, he didn't realize the presence behind him. Arms suddenly wrapped around him protectively, as he let out a sound of surprise, intermingled with fear. He thrashed about into the person's embrace, before recognizing who it was.

He immediately fell still, about to mutter a string of apologies when he was swept off the floor and placed gently back on the bed. Soon after that, he was on his side and being held by Cross, which was oddly very very soothing. Still, the tears which he had been holding back for the most part began to spill, and since there was no point in keeping silent, he began to weep in earnest. No words were needed to convey his pain, and Cross stayed silent the whole time Mana wept, only bringer him closer and kissing the top of his head softly.

Mana hadn't cried like this in years, he had had no chance too, and he was certainly never going to show that side of himself to anyone he didn't trust. In general, he just didn't like showing weakness, though he had been a bit of a cry baby as a child, he had long out grown that side of himself, easily hiding away every harsh feeling with the poker face he had perfected over the years. If anything, these past years had only strengthened that mask and given him practice to perfect his act in front of others. However, he was only human, and could only last so long before he broke.

The sobbing continued for a period a time, as the part inside Mana which had been screaming in anguish began to quiet, as the sobs became quieter, and the tears ceased to be shed. Exhausted, Mana weakly cuddled closer into Cross's chest, wiping some of the snot on his bed shirt and weakly glancing upwards apologetically.

A brief moment of panic ensued as he realized he had just cried for an hour on Cross, then proceeded to wipe some of his gross snot on his shirt. It passed when Cross began to wipe away the remains of the tears on his face, gently kissing each spot, his warm lips soothing Mana and his uncertainty.

"Why, why are you doing this?" Mana found himself asking quietly, immediately regretting it and was about to tell Cross to forget it when the other sighed, then proceeded to surprise him with an answer,

"Because you called my name..."

Wha-?

Oh.

OH.

OH!

"You- I, when?"

Okay, so that would explain some things, but not entirely. God he was at a lost for words, since yes, he had made the connection, but he had simply brushed it off as a coincidence.

"Explain. I don't understand, why have you been gone for so long? How did you find me? Why didn't you tell me? What-"

Mana was cut off as Marian simply locked his lips with his, shutting him up as all questions were forgotten, and though he tried his best not to get to caught up in the moment, since he really wanted some answers to his questions, it was ultimately futile as Marian demanded submission with his wet muscle, pushing against Mana's lower lip. Mana parted his lips, low, wanting moans slipping past him as Marian invaded his mouth and explored the cavern of his mouth eagerly, overwhelming Mana and causing his face to flush brilliantly until the other finally pulled away, allowing him a chance to capture his breath once more.

"Ga...ah...geez, so...impatient...hah..." Mana groaned breathlessly, barely able to form a coherent thought, let alone sentence as his half closed lids gazed into Marian's. His gaze was returned with a half affectionate, half annoyed look, as though Marian was contemplating whether or not to be annoyed with Mana or to simply give into his true feelings.

"It's been ten years." The red head murmured as he gently pushed a strand of silky chestnut hair behind Mana's hair, scarlet eyes glimmering with an unknown emotion...regret? "I didn't exactly have plans of holding back you know...?"

"Of course you didn't." Mana purred, reaching up and running his hand through the long, messy hair of scarlet hair which ran down Marian's back, an amused grin forming on his lips. "But still...my questions?" He pushed himself upright, seeing as their conversation would probably be a long one, as they had a lot of catching up to do. Might as well make himself comfortable, since there was no way he was going to back to sleep without getting some answers from Marian. Plus, there was the nightmare which he had somewhat forgotten, but it still hung as a dreadful reminder as what would meet him if he closed his eyes again. One he was not particularly eager to return to, so he'd prefer a few less hours of torment which weren't spent reliving some painful memories.

Marian sighed, shaking his head and about to say something when he saw mana's frown, and seemed to think whatever he was about to say. "Fine, what would you like me to answer first?" Of course, the red head took a similar position as Mana, sitting up and using the back board as support to lean on.

"Why didn't you tell me when I first arrived?" Mana asked almost accusingly, though Marian simply shrugged. "I wasn't sure if you remembered me, since it was a long time ago...and I was also...mad, at a lot of things. It took me ages to find you, and then your owners made it a pain in the ass to purchase you from them. Then those sick bastards...one of them was from our time together, I can never forget that nasty son of a bitch's face, those fucking eyes of his are so lecherous, they rape anyone on the spot with just one fucking sick look of his. Ugh."

"Also..." He trailed off, as though embarrassed about what he about to say, but continued with a grimace. "I'm sorry how I first treated you, I had too much to drink that day and...well, I wasn't in the right mind, but nothing I say can make up for my behavior. I'm sorry."

Mana shook his head, golden hues glimmering dimly with understanding. "Its fine, besides, I'm used to it...and worse..." Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, as Marian's expression twisted at his words, abruptly looking away from Mana and suddenly turning his interest to the wallpapered wall. "Please...don't compare me to those people." Marian whispered, his reply barely audible to Mana's ear as he strained to catch it. "What I did, to you of all people...no, it just wasn't right," slightly frustrated, Mana reached over and grabbed Marian's face, giving him a stern look and lightly flicking his forehead. "Don't be stupid, this is the kind of business I've been in for years, I can take care of myself. If I couldn't handle that much, then I wouldn't have lasted very long, would I?" Marian still couldn't seem to face him, which slightly annoyed Mana, who knew what he was capable of dealing with. What Marian had did was practically nice compared to the hell his past owner's had done to him, but there was no way in hell that he was going to tell Marian why he was okay with it. Well, not okay, but he just simply...used to it. It was the only way he knew how to phrase it. Words had never been his specialty, but rather, a certain someone's...

"Still..." But Mana cut him off with a quick smooch, glaring at him and daring his to finish whatever he was about to say, which he quickly shut up.

"So is that all you wanted to ask?" Marian asked with a sigh, carefully meeting Mana's stare.

"Of course not! Thats not even a quarter of what I have in mind! How did you even find me? Or come up with the money to even buy me? How did you escape? Why-"

"Okay, okay." The other grumbled as he covered Mana's mouth with his hand, rolling his eyes when Mana licked it sensually, but decided to push the less appropriate thought which had come to mind aside. "Not all at once, or else I won't be able to keep up...let me think..." He mumbled as he became lost in thought for a moment, before sighing and continuing. "I didn't escape, at some point I got bought by this nice lady who had this enormous fortune. She didn't want me for anything. Said she just wanted for me to have a chance outside that hell...so she passed away after a few years and in her will, she transferred her entire fortune to me, since she had no other living relatives. Which was about six years ago now, but I still wonder what she saw in me to buy me, since I was just a good for nothing whore. Oh whatever. So yeah, theres that question answered, huh, lets see.."

"Well, I guess I answered the other question about the money, so, finding you. That, was the hard part. You weren't on record anywhere, and since we were sold separately, I had no idea if you were sold in a private auction, or public, or just thrown into a brothel. Plus, people don't like coughing up information very easily, so I had to use quite a few...persuasive methods to get some of them talking. Others were more than willing to let loose all they knew, which made my life easier, but still, it took six years to actually get out, then four years to actually find you. I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise sooner." He trailed off, seeming lost for words as he pursed his lips, keeping his gaze downwards and away from Mana, as though he were guilty of a crime.

"Marian, its okay, you did what you could. I'm just happy you actually remembered me and that promise. Now I don't...," he had a difficult choking out the last part, but he managed, "have to go...back."

"I suppose." Mana sighed at Marian's uncertain reply, pressing his cheek against the other's reassuringly, knowing that everything would be okay.

"So, you had more questions?"

"Well..." Mana snickered as he remembered one of them, "the rest can wait for another time, but I am curious..."

"Why the name Cross?"

Marian sighed and pushed Mana back onto the bed, which he willing complied, snuggling closer in Marian's warm embrace, awaiting an answer.

Silence.

"Hey, I really want to know." Mana complained in a slightly whiny tone. Which provoked a long, exasperated sigh from Marian.

"Remember...how you mentioned your mother used to wear a necklace with a cross on it?"

Smirking, Mana couldn't hold back the series of giggles which burst out, causing Marian to scowl and tickle Mana's side in relation, immediately causing the other to screech and move away from his embrace. However, Mana quickly returned and pecked Marian's nose, as Marian closed his eyes and hummed lightly, a distinct note of happiness making it clear that Mana's impulsive actions of affection easily pleased the red head.

"Whatever, just sleep."

Mana smiled, but secretly began to fear his reasoning for waking up at such a time in the night, though Marian simply brought him closer to his chest, kissing his forehead fondly.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you. I'm here now."

Of course he knew what to say to make him feel safe, and for that, Mana was eternally grateful, allowing his weary lids to close and fade into restful slumber.


The end.