Chapter Four

Kari Lyza returned home from school that same day and met with her father, who was in his office speaking with somebody. He noticed his daughter standing at the door and immediately took to ending the conversation. For David Lyza, science was his passion but his daughter was his life. After hanging up, the blond-haired 40 something year old gave his daughter a warm smile.

"Hi, honey." He said. "Good day today?"

"The same." She shrugged. "Who was that on the phone?"

"Oh, someone from work. They're just curious about the project, is all."

"That nano-thing?"

"Nano-robotics." He chuckled. "You hungry? Want me to fix you something?"

"No, thanks. I'm meeting with some friends later."

"Right." He nodded as he watched his daughter take off. Once she was out of view, the man went back to his phone and dialed another number.

"Hello?" A woman on the end answered.

"Hey. It's me."

"David."

"You busy tonight?"


A sore Moe and Curly entered their home as their parents Saul and Jennie greeted them with an endless barrage of shouting.

"Where have you two been!?" Jennie grabbed her boys by the ears. "You were out seeing that Amanda girl, haven't you!?"

"No, ma!" Moe whined. "I swear!"

"What!?" Saul was outraged. "Why not!?"

"She had other plans! But I'm taking her to prom!"

"Oh, my baby's going to prom!" Jennie immediately changed moods and smothered her middle child with a tight embrace. "And with a girl! A real-life, living, breathing girl!"

"Yup."

"Wait, she is living, right?"

"Yes, ma!" Moe whined some more.

"Oh, my baby!" Another round of smothering continued.

"How 'bout you, son? You taking anyone special?" Saul nudged his youngest.

"Well, I… uhh… gee, I don't know. I ain't never been much for dating, y'know?" Curly mumbled.

"Don't worry, you'll find someone. Now c'mon! Your mom made a pot roast and I aim to not let it go to waste!"

"Don't mind if I do!" Curly rushed off to the dining room.


The next day at school, a pep rally was already underway as the thousands of students crammed themselves into the main auditorium and cheered their lungs out. The marching band and orchestra were playing their usual pages of assigned music as the students continued pouring in. Teachers were lined up against the walls to keep on eye on the more rowdier students and the football players all eagerly stood backstage for their glorious entry.

For Moe, Larry and Curly, however, they were too busy becoming the butt of young Ricky Solomon's latest prank. The blond-haired teen and his cronies stuffed Moe and Larry into a couple of spare cheerleader's outfits and tied them up with a wire.

"Oh, you guys are gonna look so cute!" He teased the two. "I wouldn't be surprised if one of the football players ask you out to prom!"

"Ricky!" Larry growled. "Why are you doing this!? We never did anything to you!"

"Well…" Ricky began to explain as his boys began escorting them into the cheerleader's ready room. "It's like this, Louie. This school is made up of all kinds of students. You got the jocks, you got the freaks, you got the geeks and you got guys like us who know how to have a good time."

"And where do we fall under?" An obviously upset Moe butt in.

"You guys? You're the ones who even the geeks can take a crack at! Yeah, you heard me! In reality, you're nothing but a bunch of… stooges. And as such, it's your duty to suffer through the pains and turmoil of what otherwise might have been a decent four years in high school. Oh well. C'est la vie!"

And with that, Ricky and his goons duct-taped Moe and Larry's mouths shut and drew a pair of red lips with a marker then shoved the two into the girl's ready room. Laughing hysterically, they then went back behind the stage to get ready for the piece de resistance.

"Oh my God!" A crazed Amanda shouted as a poorly disguised Moe and Larry stumbled in the room, their screams muffled under the tape. "Are you guys, like, the new springers?"

Moe and Larry frantically shook their heads while their hands remained tied behind their backs but Amanda, being a cheerleader and all, was too stupid to realize that they weren't who she thought they were.

"Oh, good!" She said, noticing their hands tied up. "Oh, wow! Let me guess! You're gonna do the whole routine tied up to impress the crowd? I can't say I'm not impressed! If you pull this off, you guys will be, like, my heroes and stuff!"

The crowd was getting louder and so was the music. Behind the curtains, Ricky and his boys drug out a large wooden box that appeared to be an oversized jack-in-the-box and set it on the corner of the stage. The football players took a look at their strange box but didn't think too much of it. Once the music stopped, the curtains opened and Principal White went onstage to begin the last pep rally of the year.

"Welcome!" He started. "This is our last pep rally of the year so let's make this a good one, huh!?"

The man was greeted with thunderous applause. While the band sat down, taking a break from all that playing, one of Ricky's cronies managed to sneak around the musicians and place a new sheet of music over their assigned ones.

"And now!" White continued. "I give you the Del Lord Cheerleading Squad!"

More applause as Amanda and the rest of the squad ran onstage, breaking out with some very complex dance moves as a techno dance beat played on the stereo system. After a few moments of mindless grooving, the girls began their formation and brought out a very nervous Moe and Larry, who were still unable to help themselves. Two of the girls grabbed the boys by their ankles, held on tight and flipped them over onto welcome arms.

With a heavy sigh, Moe and Larry glanced at each other and realized they were being carried around by the cheerleaders but it wasn't over yet. Another flip and the boys miraculously found themselves landing feet first on top of their newly built pyramid. Another round of applause and the girls separated, causing Moe and Larry to plummet to the floor once again. But of course, the girls were there to catch them and tossed them into the air once more. This, however, caused Moe and Larry to bump heads and have a rough landing on the floor, much to the chagrin of the squad.

"What are you girls doing!?" Amanda snapped.

"Thank you, ladies!" White applauded, signaling them to leave the stage.

"Moe? Larry?" Assistant Principal Dent recognized the two and stripped off the tape over their mouths.

"Ow!" Moe cried. "Well, it's about time someone recognized us!"

"What are you boys doing dressed as cheerleaders?"

"It's a long story." Larry droned. "And I really don't want to talk about it."

"Where's Jerry?"

"Oh no!" Moe gasped. "Curly!"

"Let's hear another round from our champion orchestra, who went on to win first place in this year's competition!" White continued, prompting the band to play another sheet of music. "And now I give you your Del Lord Panthers!"

More cheers came from the auditorium as the football team ran onstage to receive their compliments as the band began to play Ricky's sheet music. At that moment, the band started to play a loud rendition of 'Pop Goes The Weasel' much to everyone's confusion. Of course, the band didn't know if this was intentional or not so they just kept playing without hesitation.

It was then when Ricky's box suddenly opened via remote control from behind the curtains and out popped a perturbed Curly, who was dressed like a clown. Curly was held by a group of reinforced springs and swung around helplessly from side to side as the whole school laughed at him. To make matters worse, Ricky had set up a bucket of water placed over Curly's head and pulled on a string to soak the young clown-faced boy. This only led to more laughing and humiliation for the chubby clown, who was too disturbed to react.

"Poor Curly." Larry shook his head from disbelief.

Moe nodded. "Yeah."

"Whew. Glad that's not me up there."

"I know that's right!"

Somewhere in the audience, Kari shook her head and sympathized for Curly while White laughed his fat butt off. Ricky and his drones, of course, were doing the same thing backstage.


Inside a small office, the young British man from the bombing sat at his desk and spoke to a business partner via speakerphone while his assistant stood by. The man was around his forties, well built with short, curly black hair and a couple of scars on his face.

"Yes, I understand." The young man said to his partner on the other line. "But what you don't realize is that once I finish this project, hundreds of millions will stand in line, ready to bid the highest amount for one of these armies…. Yes, I know. Thank you."

And with that, the man hung up. With a grin, he turned around on his chair and gave his assistant a reassuring look. "It's all coming together now, Lev."

"Is it?" The man's Russian accent almost growled. "I wonder how."

"I wouldn't go into much detail other than saying that everything we've needed has been here all along."

"What about this Maurer Industries?"

The man chuckled. "The repair system, you mean? It's all there. One quick stop and the project is ours. Mass production could start within a week. Perhaps less than that if we're lucky."

"And this Ted Healy?"

"Ignore him. He's no threat to us."


Inside the principal's office, a severely traumatized Moe, Larry and Curly stood before the man as he recuperated from a severe case of the giggles.

"Oh, you boys!" White softly chuckled. "Thanks for the laugh, I needed that!"

"Principal White, this is an injustice!" Moe slammed his fist on the desk. "I demand satisfaction! I demand respect! I demand an apology!"

"I wouldn't mind some of that myself." Larry nodded along.

"Mooching off of me, huh?" Moe slapped Larry across the face.

"Boys." White intervened. "There's really nothing I can do. I can question Ricky about it but you and I know he's only going to deny. And if he doesn't, no punishment I can offer him will make him settle down. No, I'm afraid that's just the way it is."

"What!?" The three of them shrieked.

"Well, isn't that depressing!?" Curly shook his head. "And here I thought we'd find the means to fight injustice against a common enemy!"

"You what?" Moe questioned.

"I thought we'd get our due process!"

"Process this." He slapped his brother around.

"How can we go on like this when guys like Ricky keep making us out to be fools?" Larry asked, expecting no type of answer.

"I wish I could help you boys." White lied through his teeth.

"Yeah." Moe nodded to Larry's inquiry. "I mean, it's not like we can force 'em to give us a little respect. Unless we scare 'em into doing it."

"Yeah, but how?" Curly was eager to know. "Man, if I had some training of some kind, the first thing I'd do is go up to Ricky and--wait a minute!"

Just then, for the first time in a long time, a light bulb went off in their heads. They all exchanged glances and nodded before turning their attention back over to the principal.

"Mr. White, sir!" Moe began. "That offer Ted Healy gave you still stand?"

"Yes." He nodded.

"We'll take it!" Curly eagerly butted in.

"You will? Really!? Oh, yes!"

"A punk like Ricky calls us a couple of stooges?" Moe scoffed. "Wait till we get through with him. We'll show him what real stooges are!"