Hello everyone! Here's the next chapter. I might be going away for a month or so for work starting Friday and I'm not sure if the place I'm going to will have good wifi, if not you might have to wait awhile for the next updates to my stories which I hope you understand, any chance I get I'll try to update but please don't hate me too much! I hope you enjoy this chapter, please let me know your thoughts as always, thanks, Kayxxx :)


The life I'll never have – Chapter four

"...I was sure this was what I wanted and I was pretty sure it was what she wanted too...it was the going about it that was the hard part. I'm not particularly the most confident of people as you've probably gotten to know by now. There were only a few things in life I was confident on. The first being medicine of course, if you aren't confident when someone's life is literally in your hands, let's face it, it's not really going to end well. The second was that my brother Caleb would definitely end up living with me for the rest of his life, well; I'll move him into the basement of my future house and feed him every now and then, but never after midnight! Sorry...Caleb if you ever read this (which I doubt highly as I've never seen you finish a book) I apologise to comparing you to a gremlin, sort of. The third thing I was confident on was only a newly discovered thing, I was confident that I was in love with Kate Daniel, in fact, I don't think I've ever been so confident on anything before in my life and so that's why I'm sure this is what I want, I want to make the wonderful Kate Daniels, the wonderful Mrs Hardy. I can only hope she would like that too but I'm sure I'll find out soon enough..." Ethan Hardy – The life I'll never have.

Ethan woke at 11:30am, which to him was a lay in. Although it was nearly noon and it was light outside his room was darkened by his blackout curtains that hadn't yet been opened. He wrapped himself up in his duvet and sunk his head into his pillow hoping it would somehow help his aching skull. The ache in his head came in tides, yet it never fully disappeared, and the nausea he felt came in waves of gurgles and lurches in his stomach. He squeezed his eyes tight yet he could still feel the room around him spinning. He reached for his glasses and put them on; he took a deep breath and eventually found the will to drag himself from his bed. As he stood the room around him swayed causing him to lose balance, he felt as though he was on a ship; he did tend to get seasick. He held his hand to the wall hoping that would steady him but it didn't help at all and he hit the floor with a thump. He rolled over and lay on his back looking up at the ceiling, "so this is a hangover" he groaned to himself as he brought his hands up to his head and ran his hands through his hair. He looked down to find he was still in yesterday's clothes, he reeked of alcohol and sweat; he felt disgusting. The first thing on his to do list for today was definitely a shower. He sat himself up and reached for his phone; every movement he made felt as though it was slow motion. He sighed when he noticed how much of his day he'd already wasted by sleeping in but that wasn't what caught his attention...he had a text from a number he didn't have saved in his phone, "How's your head this morning, Nibbles? K x" it read.

"K?" Ethan whispered to himself, "who's K?" He thought on, "I don't know anyone whose name begins with K" he shook his head as he continued to think, "The only person I know whose name begins with K is Kate and well...no, no no! It can't be surely?" He panicked as he read the number; realisation grew over him quickly, "Kate!" Ethan spat out as he went through his call log frantically to find he'd dialled her number numerous amounts of times last night. His nausea now hit him harder than ever, "Caleb!" He shouted, "Cal!" He yelled.

"What?" Cal called as he hurried in, "what are you doing on the floor?" He asked confused.

"Last night, was I on the phone at any point?" Ethan asked him desperately.

"Are you kidding me? As the night went on you were barely off it" Cal told him.

"What?!" Ethan snapped, "you didn't think to stop me?!" He shouted angrily.

"Stop you from what?" Cal shrugged, "who've you got to drunkenly call? Well, besides Honey..." he stated as he watched his brother warily, "you called Honey?!" Cal asked amused.

"No, no, no...Much worse" Ethan replied, "I called Kate!"

Cal's jaw dropped as he took a seat on the floor beside his brother; "way to go Ethan" he smirked as he nudged his shoulder.

"Way to go? Way to go?!" Ethan shouted, "Caleb I have no recollection of last night what so ever, I don't even remember getting home. Oh what have I said to her?" He sighed as he rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

"Well..." Cal started, "there's only one way to find out" he grinned as his brother looked at him in dread.

"I can't believe you've talked me into this" Ethan whispered as the phone rang, Cal had persuaded him to call Kate back.

"Hey she text you back the next morning, she must be thinking of you" Cal teased.

Ethan held his breath as he waited for her to answer, "oh this is ridiculous, I'm hanging up-" but he was cut off by a voice at the other end of the phone. Cal shushed him frantically.

"Hello?" She answered the phone.

Ethan's heart sunk, he opened his mouth to speak but no words come out. Cal punched his arm forcefully, "ouch!" Ethan muttered as he hit him back.

"Hello?" Kate spoke once more.

Ethan cleared his throat, "hi, is this Kate?" He spoke awkwardly.

"Come on Nibbles, you rang me" Kate replied, you could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke.

"Oh, yes, of-of course it's you" Ethan stuttered in reply. Shooting a glance at Cal for help.

"So..." Kate spoke awkwardly.

"Yeah..." Ethan replied in the same awkward tone. Cal held his head in his hands as he cringed, "I'm sorry for calling you last night, I don't even know why I-" Kate cut him off.

"Oh no it's fine, it's nice to know someone's enjoying their Friday night, it gave me a bit of entertainment whilst I was sat eating Ben and Jerry's and watching rom-coms alone" she laughed in reply.

"Cookie dough Ben and Jerry's is by far the best" Ethan replied.

Cal rolled his eyes at him.

"That's what I had, it's my favourite too!" She replied causing Ethan to smile. Cal watched on amazed at the fact she hadn't put the phone down yet, "so you didn't reply to my text, how's your head this morning?" She asked.

"...aching" Ethan admitted, "I don't usually drink I don't know what came over me and I'm sorry for whatever I said" he told her.

"You really have no memory of last night do you?" She asked.

"I didn't even know I called you until I woke up to your text" Ethan told her honestly.

"Ah so I'm guessing the marriage proposal wasn't something to go by then?" She asked in a disappointed tone.

Ethan and Cal both looked at each other as their jaws hit the ground. Ethan held his head in his hand as a smirk grew across Cal's face.

"Ethan I'm joking" Katie called down the phone as she noticed silence fall over the conversation.

Ethan let out a huge sigh of relief, "oh thank god" he spat out, "not the I wouldn't want to marry you but, well obviously I'd want to get to know you first but I well, I wouldn't propose over the phone, I'm not that type of guy, well I don't suppose anyone is really are they? Actually, it wouldn't surprise me seeing how much relationships revolve around technology these days, its ridiculous isn't it? The-" Ethan's nervous verbal diarrhea was cut off by Cal who placed his hand over the phone so Kate couldn't hear.

"Stop talking." He spoke sternly.

"Sorry, I'm rambling" he told her but she just laughed.

"Okay so you might not have proposed last night, but you did ask me out for a drink so...how about it?" She asked, "I mean obviously when you've recovered from this awful awful hangover you're currently experiencing" she teased.

"Way to go Ethan!" Cal whispered echoing his earlier words. He couldn't contain his excitement for his younger brother, he patted Ethan on the back in congratulations but he shoved him off.

"Kate..." Ethan began, "I'm sorry but I can't" he sighed.

"What?!" Cal spat out and Ethan shooed him away.

"Oh" Kate replied surprised, "haven't got a girlfriend have you?" She asked.

"No, no, I haven't" Ethan replied.

"Oh god, you've got a wife haven't you?" She spoke in dread.

"No nothing like that, I'm a single pringle" he told her and instantly kicked himself, who even says that?

"A single pringle who isn't ready to mingle?" Kate replied disappointedly.

"Precisely" Ethan replied sadly, "I'm sorry again for all the calls I made to you last night and whatever I've probably embarrassed myself by saying, please just forget the entire thing happened, or at least try to...I won't bother you again, goodbye Kate" he put the phone down and rested his head back against the wall.

"What the hell was that?!" Cal shouted angrily.

"Shh Caleb my head is aching" Ethan winced in reply as he held his head.

"I don't care! What did you turn her down for?! She obviously has the hots for you, you're not going to find many people who'll put up with your pathetic rambling Ethan for God sake you've just let something that could turn out to be a long term thing go!" Cal told him in disbelief, "that was your chance to make your book come true Ethan, I can't believe you!" Cal shook his head.

"It wouldn't come true though would it?!" Ethan shouted, "I have far too much respect for Kate than to have her spoon feeding me by the age of fifty" he spat out, Cal looked at him warily, "it could happen" Ethan added, "Like I said before she deserves a long happy life surrounded by family, and I can't give her that. Going for a drink with her would be an awfully selfish thing to do" Ethan told him.

"Maybe she just wanted a fling Ethan? She's sat in her pyjamas stuffing her face with ice cream and watching crappy romantic movies alone on a Friday night, I think that was as much of a hint you're going to get, she'd much rather be spending her nights having sex Ethan, and you could be the person she has sex with" Cal told him but Ethan shook his head at the thought, "have you considered the fact she might not even want a family? Or to get married? I mean if she isn't one for spontaneous fun then I doubt she'd get much enjoyment out of that, maybe she just wants a boring life with someone who isn't spontaneous to spend it with. I can't think of anyone who is less spontaneous than you!" Cal spoke enthusiastically.

Ethan rolled his eyes at him, "I'm going back to bed, hopefully I can sleep this hangover off" he mumbled as he got up and wrapped himself in his duvet once more.

"So that's it with Kate is it?" Cal asked.

"Looks that way yes" Ethan replied, his voice muffled by the duvet, "real life Kate anyway, the Kate in my book is a different story" he added.

"Unbelievable" Cal shook head and stormed out, slamming Ethan's bedroom door as he left causing Ethan's head to ache even more.