She just giggled and giggled and wiggled her ass. My knuckles were white.

I knelt at the altar of her bed, and my adoring hands immediately tugged her panties down her skin, letting my face crash in between the cheeks of her ass. My tongue lashed out and did what it did best: sin.

Her soft skin smothered my face, the fur of her puffy butt plug tickled my forehead. I dove in deeper and my hands greedily gripped her ass with a vise grip. My nails dug into her flesh to bring her closer, closer to my mouth. She was slick and hot already, just as I expected.

I licked up all of the juices that dribbled between those thighs, drinking her in and breathing in primal huffs through my nostrils. She tasted like everything that I missed, everything I supposedly loved. My fingers clutched and unclutched, groping; I couldn't get enough of how supple her flesh felt under my touch, just as I couldn't get enough of how much of her essence leaked and leaked onto my tongue and down my accepting throat.

You's body shuddered and I could feel the reverberations of her squirming under my palms. I raised my hands, bringing them down in a soft smack, and I reveled in how she shivered. I heard her call my name and I smacked her again. A spurt of her quim shot into my mouth. I buried myself into her ass as deep as I could, my nose squished between the enclosing fleshy gates of her rump until my tongue was going wild in her tight, tight snatch.

My lips have grown familiar with the intricacies between her legs at this point, but after more than a week I was more than eager to reacquaint myself. She tasted so hot, felt so sticky. My dribble spilled from my lips in clear strings onto her panties. I slurped and wriggled and drew out words inside of her. More of her quim jetted in heated streams down my throat. I swallowed everything she had to offer, I grew drunk and more excited while her pussy pulsed as I throbbed.

I withdrew my tongue from those pink lower lips, strings and strings of her juices and my spit staining her scrunched-up panties. I pressed it flatly against her skin, feeling her shiver in anticipation, tasting every inch of her that I stained until my lips spread open wetly across her left asscheek, and my teeth bit down, hard, on that warm, supple fruit.

She whimpered my name, and I wanted to hear her again, louder. With my tongue slathering the marks of my teeth, my right hand slipped down her ass, and without any warning, I bite down again, just as I shoved that hand between her legs. Two of my fingers felt her slick heat. I let their tips slide and push against her. I felt her squirm. I pressed my teeth against her, as if warning her of the consequences if she dare escape my grasp. One more back and forth of my fingers against her vulva, and I plunged inside.

I've never fingered her from this angle, and I could tell that it pleased her. I spread them apart, I curled them, I drew lewd circles and heard her inner heat squelch around me. She moaned my name again, but still not as loud as I wanted. My left hand was on the small of her back now, stilling her, calming her, taming her. I pushed down, making her fall flat on her face. My left eye was the only eye that wasn't obstructed by You, and I noticed her hand instinctively clench onto a tuft of purple plastic grass. My tongue dribbled more of my salivation down her thighs. Then, I started to fingerbang her.

She went wild. I felt her clench and grow wetter, but I didn't stop; I went faster, harder. Sounds of the wet, wet squelch of her pussy gripping and pulsing around my fingers were still louder than You's pleas. So I went even harder, making sure I curved my assault to hit her in the spot that always made her squeal. I didn't relent. She started whimpering, escalating those into legitimate squeals, and finally, finally, my name.

She let it tumble from her lips in breathless screams, shuddered it when she started to hiccup and choke on her own spit. I heard more crackling of cellophane grass, the clattering of plastic eggs that she kicked off the bed. She came. I felt the insides of her pinkness clench tight around me, her hips undulating and shaking. Heat drenched my hand in thick spurts. She bucked and reared, but I made sure to keep the bunny in check, my left hand pressing hard into her lower back.

In the midst of her orgasm, I kept pushing into her without stopping. She was mine. She was my sock puppet, and I had every fucking fiber of her being bending and writhing to the will of my fingers.

She came again, and after I pulled out of her drenched pink pocket and began to rub and rub and rub her swollen clit, she came again. A chain of climaxes, all from my touch, all proof that she wanted me as badly as I wanted her. I was grateful I was out of my pants; at the sight of her like this, turning into a mess after just a few minutes of foreplay, manipulated by my angry fingers, my cock was utterly throbbing in anticipation.

I let her rest for a bit. My hands kept up their worship of her plumpness, and I let them wander a bit, up to her hips, her waist. I heard her whimper in satisfaction, feeling her body let out gentle jolts-aftershocks of her previous peaks of pleasure.

But her respite was short before I flipped her over. I wanted to taste her again, intoxicate myself on her concentrated lust. Her puffy cotton tail peaked out under her ass when I spread her legs open. My eyes widened. She had waxed for me, her wet, pink folds completely bare. It looked even more delicious than before. I looked up at her face, saw her give me a look that was as vulnerable as it was needy. I dove straight in.

My lips kept busy, making sure she knew how I much I loved tasting her in every corner of my mouth. She started to writhe again, and I reached up over and placed one of my hands on her stomach. I pet the skin, pressing and rubbing in circles. I needed to calm her down for a little bit longer, let her wallow in the fact that she was naked and victim to every licentious depravity my tongue would imprint inside her.

It took a few minutes of petting and more gentle strokes from the underside of my tongue on her clit until I felt her settle in, felt her relax. Then, I started ramping it up a little. Her clit became captive to my tongue as I flicked it, licked it, slathered it. Her hands soon became acquainted with my scalp, my own kept her legs apart, almost flat to the bed. She needed to feel defenseless, exposed to me, and only me. She was shaken by the change of pace.

But I wanted her to be thunderstruck.

I started sucking on her clit, hard and ruthless. In the small space under my chin, I slipped in a finger, and started scraping against her inner walls.

You's voice came out in a cracked squeal. My name escaped it in a tone that ranged from surprise to shock to pure bliss. I kept it up and within a minute, she came. I let go of her legs, letting them convulse uselessly as she had a hard orgasm that left her hiccupping, hiccupping, breathless. I drank it all in, and by the time it was over my face was wet. My cheeks were sticky.

Panting, I stood. I looked at my work. It felt good, so good to see that smile on her face gone. My anger had settled considerably, but it was still there, channeled in the pulsing of my hard erection. Her eyes half-mast, she looked at me; her blue almost completely black. Without another word, she crawled over to me, fluffy white ears drooping as she returned the favor.

The familiar space between her cheeks made me hiss. She lathered my cock with her hot spit, embraced it with the spongy velvet of her tongue. I found myself petting the top of her head, my hand gently running through her gray little curls.

Then, my fingers instinctively clenched, and I let out a shudder when I felt the bulging throb of my cockhead squeeze into her throat. I whispered a nonsensical howl. The heat of her throat was alien to me; she had given me plenty blowjobs in the past four or so weeks, but never went this far, this deep . I could only go along for the ride, pushing her lips into my crotch, listening to her breath raspily through small gaps between her mouth and my veiny lust.

I sprinkled groans into the fleshy wet hymn of her mouth wetly slurping me inside. I had to stop looking at her; if I kept my eyes on You, with that get-up, feeling the rabbit ears tickle my chest, seeing the white fluff in the center of her ass, seeing the blue sparkles that I thought were so innocent look up at me in wide, coy circles as she swallowed me to my hilt… I didn't want to bust then and there, it was too good to let it end so early.

It was apparent that You was experienced in this. The way she so expertly started humming, how she swiped her tongue back and forth on the underside of my prick, pushing her head forward in long, succulent strokes, she had to have done this before. My mind imagined with whom. Maybe in high school. Maybe in the car when she lived with her mother. Probably with the man she ran off to a few days ago when I was crying, hands sticky with my shame.

The thought should have enraged me further. It should have infuriated me. But at that moment, I couldn't care less.

It was meaningless for me to take charge of the situation, stuffing her throat with force, pulling her into my crotch and earnestly skullfucking her like I had planned. But no, I didn't need to. Not when she returned my favor to her so willingly, so eagerly. My life was so menial that having her lavish my cock with such care and humility made me feel more wanted and important than anything that had happened in the past few years; she may as well have washed my feet.

I came, throbbing copious spurts of concentrated release directly down her hot, hot throat. Even with her skill, several shots filled her mouth, and I let out a hiss at the sight of her drawing her lips back over the red of my cock, several rivulets of cum dripping down her chin before her thumb scooped them back between her cheeks.

In that moment, all that mattered was the line of white that connected the tip of my dick to the edge of her tongue. The girl I had fallen in love with in high school was now the woman who held my heart captive, her tongue painted with me. That line of white was the only thing that connected us. If it weren't for that line, we may just be neighbors, just acquaintances with a warm and comfy past.

I had no say in her life other than what position I want her to be in when I shove myself between her thighs. And if that was really all she wanted, so be it. If I was only the latest in a long line of physical escapes, so be it. I wasn't angry anymore. How could I be, when the bunny that prepped herself for sacrifice upon the masonry of her sheets looked so vulnerable? She was to be offered up, and I was her carnal fire.

I took another look at her. We both knew the next phase as she sat back, supporting herself on her elbows. She cleared aside some of the decorations in her way.

I wasn't angry anymore. But I was hard.

I made the move towards her dresser; I knew she had more Trojans in there, unless she took them all with her the night she was gone.

But she stopped me with a small sound from her throat. I looked over at her as she bit her lip.

She was fingering herself softly, making sure she was as wet as she was when release had pulsed moistly through her body. Her panties dangled off her ankle. Then, everything inside me wound up and snapped all at once when she took both of her hands, hooked her folds with the tips of her fingers, and spread herself completely open. For the first time that morning I saw the insides of her pussy, pulsing, pink, ready. She looked expectantly at me, and I looked back at her like she was the Second Coming. I almost tripped in my rush between her legs, my prick as swollen as her clit.

We always established rubbers as a rule whenever we had sex, pill or not. But that morning, the notion of safety had as much relevance as a renewed vow of chastity; nothing was going to stop me from fucking this girl raw.

I placed my tip against that sodden pink entrance, made sure it was firmly kissing her. She felt hot and the pulsing of her inner flesh echoed in carnal fire down my most sensitive nerves. I winced. I sweated. My hand gripped the upper curve of her thighs as she spread herself for me. Then, once I made sure it was aligned, I pulled her body as I thrust forward.

"Jesus Christ." I said, watching as half of my prick was sucked into her, her pink lower lips clasping onto me tightly in a kiss.

I felt as if a third eye was opened, as if this was my first time masturbating. I pushed the rest of myself inside her, feeling her squirm, directly feeling her pussy pulse wetly around me, clutching me. I pulled out and more scrapes of raw bliss scattered like fireworks through my nerves. The tension in my loins exploded. I pushed in, harder, loving how her whole body rocked at the impact. It had been a week too long.

I started pumping into her in earnest. My eyes were glued to our point of connection and I watched splatters of our lust and efforts splash out and stain the bed. It was entrancing, seeing my work in action; connecting a visual to the sensations striking through my body from that meaty rod of nerves like an insulated Tesla coil only made me more excited, more eager to make her mine. I wanted to go in deeper, I wanted to shove myself into her balls-deep with every thrust.

In due time her calf hung limply over my shoulder, and I was honest-to-God plowing her now, savoring every goddamn inch of my cock sawing in and out and in and out of her. I gripped her thigh hard. I could feel my sweat dam up behind my eyebrows, feel the sweat on her leg trickle down my back. My right hand started rubbing her clit, vigorously toggling it back and forth, pushing, twirling it. She came not long after. I looked down to that connection again, the connection that dictated my mind, my heart, and my body, cloudy release of her lustful tension spurting out in small arcs all over the bed.

I watched her face now, seeing her grip onto the bedsheets, some strands of cellophane yellow, purple, blue grass sticking to the sweaty skin of her neck. I loved how her breasts bounced, bounded inside the cups of her bra. I couldn't wait to rip it off. I smiled devilishly at the sight of a few jelly beans popping about on the skin of her tummy, desperately trying to remain on her skin during the onslaught. The heat of her body melted the color off the Skittles and the M&M's that were also bouncing with the beans-I loved how that color mixed with her sweat, sprinkling into the air, squiggling down her sides in small streams.

Then, navy blue. I latched onto her tattoo. All the candy that had somehow found their way on her body was forgotten, and I grit my teeth. The little anchor winked at me as her hips kept reciprocating the energy I poured into her. It didn't take long until I pulled out, and with my breathing coming out in pathetic little jutters, I came. The sticky ropes of my spunk shot across her body, splattering onto the candies that still clung to her skin, two or three shooting so far as to strike hotly against her chin. Each spurt made me call out her name, like a mantra, a prayer, each firm stroke of my hand sliding hotly against my releasing cock a bead of my rosary. By the time I was finished, little puddles and rivulets of my cum frosted her body. She was breathless, and I took in the sight of how she lay there, fucked and heated, admiring my handiwork and how the load of my balls managed to fit right into the Easter décor.

I was hard again within moments, and I crawled over her. I noticed her tattoo was completely covered by a thick wad of my spunk. I let it stay that way. When I reached her face, You pulled me down with her arms almost instantly. Our lips locked and I swirled my tongue recklessly, hungrily. She was sweeter than anything she lay on that bed, and her lips turned into pure saccharin when she managed to break free of my tongue and said, "This time, inside. " before her hand reached between us and began stroking me.

A minute later and candies and eggs and stuffed animals bounced and bounced with every one of my thrusts. I was throwing all of my weight into her now. I didn't care about how long I lasted, didn't care about technique or any bullshit that would stop me from fulfilling her request. Once I took a break from her lips, my hand grabbed her bra by the center, my fist crushing her little bow. In one deft and violent grab, I ripped it off. The sound of ripping lace was accompanied by her gasp. She complained amidst her breathlessness as I pounded into her without stopping.

"You can always make more." Was what I growled to shut her up, before plunging between her pearly whites with my tongue to make sure she would stay shut up.

My efforts were not in vain. It took less than five minutes before I clenched up and the world around me concentrated into the rush of my body smashing into hers as I made sure I was shoved all the way to the fucking hilt before I let go. Jets of thick and sticky heat shot through my urethra, and I could only mumble open mouthed gibberish against You's tongue as the pleasure just took me over. I gave her what she wanted, just like I always did, like I always have. Rope after rope of cum, I emptied into her. She whimpered and I felt her legs on my lower back, bringing me in more. I wondered how it felt for her, I wondered if she felt it before. Those passing thoughts were soon buried under more jets of cum.

Soon I discovered melted Hershey's kisses on the sweltering stickiness of her back, with an array of all the other candies and strands of grass that seemed to love her body as much as mine. My fingers raked them off as You rode me, her heels digging into my skin, my fingers into hers, our tongues digging into each other's. My cum felt warm, a gooey extra layer inside of her that would string out like taffy, pressing against my prick in a way that made me want to cum in her again. The bunny ears on her head echoed all of her bounds, as much as her throat echoed her delight at my hands roaming, cleaning, worshipping.

We broke for air at one point, and she reached behind my head to press my forehead against hers. The saliva that connected our lips in thin and translucent bridges swayed in tandem with You's eager bounces, keeping in rhythm her thighs loudly smacking against my legs.

I breathed hotly against her mouth. Just like that first night together, I felt like we were in a jar together with no holes poked out for air. How far we've come. I had only had a few sloppy and awkward encounters before her, and now, I felt like the Devil himself whenever she spread her legs for me. She's taught me much. And I had a feeling that right now, I was passing with flying colors.

"Bounce for me, bunny…" I mouthed against her lips. I didn't think or plan it, I just said what I wanted through grit teeth. "Bounce…"

In the midst of her cycling moans and gasps, You laughed, a sound that sounded that much better when it was layered with so many inadvertent exclamations dug out from my cock pistoning inside her.

"Now that's a line…" she mouthed back, breath steamy against my lips, and sweet when she pushed forward into an open-mouthed kiss.

She pulled back to moan into my face again, biting her lip when my cockhead grinded against her spot. She concentrated on trying to find it again; I felt her nails dig deeper into my scalp.

"What would you rather me say? 'It's fucking wabbit season' ?"

You laughed again and Christ, the reverberations of her amusement shooting through my body was just art in motion.

"You sorta do have that Elmer Fudd aesthetic…"

I laughed. For the first time in forever, in what seemed like what was more than a week, I laughed, I smiled, and I kissed her in earnest. Less than a few minutes later, I gripped her hips tighter, and I filled her with another creamy load, galvanized with just a little less frustration than before.

Curiosity soon got the best of me, and I positioned You onto all fours. I tried not to be too distracted by how fucking perfect it looked as my cum dripped in long goopy strings from her sodden folds. She was obviously planning for this part to happen, seeing how when I grabbed her bunny tail and pulled, it shlicked out almost too easily; it was drenched in lube. You let out hot, hot moans as she fell to the sheets, and I gulped at the prospect that this freaky little rabbit was this turned on from the stimulation of her naughty puckered asshole alone. But as easy as it was to pull it out, the sheer tightness of You's pink forbidden treasure was proven by a wet pop when the knobbed end of the sinful and fluffy doohickey exited completely.

I gulped at the prospect of how that tightness would feel around me, but that prospect got me hard as a rock a few moments later when I shuffled forward on my knees. My weight caused a few plastic eggs to roll and knock against my skin, along with a few dozen assorted sweets. But my only focus was the sweet little pink delicacy in front of me when I spread open the soft, fleshy veil of her glorious asscheeks.

Her anus was a sight to behold. It leaked a small little drip of that lube she had used, and its pink little lines formed a little star, a target for me to bullseye. It looked so tight , so fucking small, that I was almost nervous to push forward like I did, making sure her cheeks were spread apart enough for me to gain entrance.

" Jesus Christ ." I said, watching as inch after inch of my pulsing, utterly asphyxiated cock slowly pushed into her.

I could see that anal was something that excited You greatly with the way her body reacted, how it squirmed, how her hands were digging into her sheets while she whimpered and groaned. But I could only wince at how excited her body was as she clenched and gripped the deeper I went.

She squeezed the cum out of me right when I was getting into a set rhythm. I watched as I hilted myself, watched as the little rolls of my hips kissed my thighs against the cheeks that closed around the bottom half of my prick. I saw wads of spunk stumble out from her plugged ass, slipping through the small space between my engorged lust and her sinfully tight inner flesh like jam.

In that moment, as I lost myself again to the raw, raw pleasure that seared through my nerves, a considerable chunk of that frustration I had melted away. In due time I was hard again, and with a slap to her right asscheek, I prompted her to the head of the bed. I would domesticate her, keep her as only mine , all while I worshipped her, made sure she knew how much I exalted her body and her smile and my name on her lips.

Her hands gripped the bars of her bedframe, a willing prisoner to me and my efforts as I kept pounding into her, melting, melting, melting. I channeled all of the concentrated tension and pain of the past week into You, and like the willing sacrifice that she was, she accepted every ounce, every single quart, moaning, squealing, screaming.

Sticky with sweat and sugar, I willingly lost myself to the delirium of our sex. It was a reunion of flesh and the refilling of empty affection, and I savored every fucking moment of it. Seared all that I did to her, everything I said to her into my mind, as if this was the last night of my life.

I laid waste to You through the noon, the afternoon. We would take a break or two, she'd feed candy past my lips, and I'd share it to her with my tongue shoving past her teeth.

I'd lost count of how many times I emptied myself inside her, and how many times she spurt it back out with her own releases, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything at that point other than the fact that I wanted to ravish and lavish her body until we were both completely wasted and unconscious.

It took a few more orgasms until my brain started working properly again, and I was above her in the most basic position I could think of, my loins churning and roiling, cum and colored streaks of sugar painted across her skin like gossamer on grass.

There was the constant banging rhythm of the steel headboard against the drywall, the filthy squelching of my prick dragging out wads of cum from my previous loads, the clatter of plastic eggs tumbling to the floor. But all I could care about hearing were You's moans, the way those swollen lips of her formed the letters of my name. She was unzipping me, wearing me down to the bone. There was nothing else I had to offer her, even the frustrations I had channeled into my pummeling hips when I railed her earlier that afternoon were gone, withered.

All I could do was keep my thrusts going, going, going. Wanton, reckless, messy, all while You moaned beneath me, the blue sparkle of her eyes pleading up at me in a way that told me, in this moment, that she was willing to accept everything I had. So I gave it to her, just like I did back in high school; it was hard not to then, it was harder now.

But what did I even have to offer her? I always wondered that.

Those eyes that looked up so vulnerably to me now, I didn't deserve those. I didn't deserve them when I would try and walk by her table of the popular kids and she'd call out my name or grab my sleeve and give me one of those melting smiles.

I didn't deserve them when she would catch me staring at her in Mr. Mackley's Honors class when he'd give one of his godawful orations, and she'd stare right back with a wide friendly smile.

I didn't deserve them when we had gorged on Takis and Arizonas next to the manmade lake close to her house, when she opened up to me, telling me of how she wanted to live on the sea and never ever come back, her eyes the expanse of the Pacific she longed to disappear into.

And I especially did not deserve them now, fucking her without any restraint, using her to chase peaks of youth that I had never achieved, recreating lustful dreams I never had the fucking balls to ever make true. I was nothing special. She had given these eyes to people more worthy than me before, opened her legs to worthy men when now, she opened herself to a boy.

All of these things, they were things that would stay with me until I died, and no amount of mindless sex could bury it. They welled up within me, and I felt guilt and shame burst through into my throat.

What did I even have to offer her?

When she gave me her time, her attention, her dreams , her body, all I ever had to offer was my awkward jokes, my goofy smile and-

"God, I love you, You, I fucking love you, I always have, I have ever since high school!" I said. Better yet, I spilled. I saw her eyes grow wider then, her lips fall open with the weight of something more than her moans. I should have stopped, but under the rhythm of my hips, my lips kept spitting. My lips kept spilling. Her eyes hinted that she was willing to take everything, and that was my goddamn heart's idea of a cue.

"I missed you. Christ, I missed you so much without me even realizing it. Your smile, everything that you were, that you still are, they made me whole. I didn't realize it at the time but I've loved you since you first talked to me outside Mr. Miller's. You've probably forgotten but I'll always remember the smile you gave me, the eyes you gave me that made me feel like the most special motherfucker in the whole school. You kept giving, you kept giving me those eyes, those smiles, those words of yours that made me grin like a stupid little bitch when I looked at myself in the mirror or when I thought of you before bed,"

I kept spilling. My hands were gripping the sheets around her head as I slipped into her and my words slipped through my throat. My hips followed suit and her body stopped rocking up and down the sheets; I could catch the sparkle of her blue eyes easier now.

"It may have been small talk, it may have been meaningless shit, but I loved that meaningless shit, I clung to that meaningless shit, because it meant it was from you. I still remember your color is aquamarine, your candy is salt water taffy. And all of the special shit you gave me, I remember those even when after all these years I tried to just forget. Of course I knew you wanted to be in the Navy, I never forgot about that, I never forgot about any of it, You. How fucking could I?

"I know it's childish bullshit I know I'm a fucking adult and all of this shit is just stuff I should look back at fondly and I should just move on, and I have, but you came back and so all this is back. All of this time, and I'm still carrying that load, I still can't let go because I've never found anyone else that could replace it. I wasn't Todd, I wasn't Joel, I wasn't Will, I wasn't any of those guys but you still hung out with me, you talked with me on the phone for hours, we shared bands, we watched movies over at your place, we traded goddamn dreams when we believed the world would still work together with us."

I could feel the beads of sweat racing down my skin now, I could feel the pound of my heart. I pressed my weight into her body and I felt the pounding of hers. I was on my forearms now, and I could feel her breaths huffing into my face as I drove into her. She wasn't moaning anymore. She was mewling softly, as gently as the thrusts I haphazardly snaked into her now that my effort wasn't in chasing my climax, but in forcing this crap out of my system.

Everything came to a halt when I felt her hand suddenly clutch my cheek. I wondered why. I couldn't see her face; just blotches of color. White of her damp sheets, soft peach of her cheeks, blue sparkle. I found it all rushing up to meet me when the hand at my neck pulled, hard. Her tongue was languid yet desperate, and I lost myself in the warmth of her mouth when I closed my eyes, and I felt that the tears pressed into my cheeks weren't my own.

I withdrew, and I saw she was crying too. Her eyes weren't sparkling, they were quivering, vulnerable like I've never seen them before. She looked up at me with her face red, and her shoulders shook. She was starting to spill.

"It t-took me to stuffing a tail up my ass for you to say that after all these years ?"

She didn't need to say anything more and I knew what she meant. I thought of it, how I had hurt her and I started sobbing too. Her thighs desperately slipped against my sweaty hips, and our lips smacked with pure need, as if another graduation would take either one of us away.

I didn't hold anything back anymore, I bucked into her, feeling her whip her head back as her arms crossed behind my neck, keeping me close, keeping me from escaping her warmth. I looked down at her again and it stung. It fucking stung knowing that I had hurt her.

"I'm sorry I never could tell you. You made me feel special but I knew that I wasn't. I thought I was special when you took me to the lake by your house, but Jim would tell me of the time you took him there too. I thought I was special when you told me your dreams, but Eric just asked me one day out of the blue if you still wanted to be in the Navy. I wasn't the only one in love with you, everyone loved you.

"Because you loved everyone. You made everyone feel like the way you made me feel, and that's why I loved you. You were a light to that school, to the lives you crossed You and I didn't deserve any of that, so I used you and I took advantage of that I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I'm sorry that in these past weeks all I did was have sex with you and I lied and kept telling myself it was normal when I really love you and I wonder how many others you've opened your legs to, how I don't want anyone else to link up with you like this because I love you even though I don't fucking deserve to but I can't help but want yo- "

"Shut up! J-Just shut up! "

The heat of her snatch escaped me. My cock slipped pathetically out of her and the weak muscles of my body slid it onto the skin of her stomach. I stopped trying.

She had pulled me down onto her, my right cheek pressed wetly against hers. Her breasts shuddered into my chest as she sobbed, and her throat let out wails that I never wanted to fucking hear in my life. I lay there on top of her, wet and naked, and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say.

I let her cry and let her cling to me and again, I felt useless. I stared into the strands of her hair pressing at the tip of my nose, and tears streamed from my eyes too.

"I'm sorry…" she said. It was a whimper, the last syllable of her apology extending and falling off in a sob. "I'm so sorry, Taft… I'm sorry…"

She kept doing that with her "sorry"'s as she held me, held me and sobbed and kept saying my name. She would sniffle before breaking into a soft wail.

"I'm sorry…"

It was the worst sound I ever heard, and it broke me.

"Wh-Why," I said. Croaked. "You didn't do anyth-"

Her arms brought my closer to her. Her collarbone dug into the skin above my chest now.

"I…I loved you too, Taft, but I thought it was too late, I thought it wasn't real. I'm sorry because I didn't say anything when I could have. I assumed that what I was feeling was just hormones; we were just 16, we were just 17 you know? We were just a bunch of teenagers, Taft, that's not love. That's what I told myself. I didn't want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt anyone , which is why I never dated or anything; I denied myself what it would have been like to get to know you like…like this because of the possibility that my feelings were just hormonal imbalances.

"Besides, high school relationships never last, right? The world was so open to me after high school, there would be plenty of guys like you. This was the shit that I said to myself. So I kept talking to you and tried to pass it off as just hanging out until graduation when I could say goodbye to you, I thought then I could just forget you and look back at it all as just a first crush.

"It's… it's stupid isn't it? I let you go and I let the possibility of us go because of what could have happened. And now I'm an adult I can't let it go, I can't forget what might have happened if I didn't assume and if I didn't consider how I could have hurt you.

"After graduation I 'moved' on like I was supposed to. I had my first in some party that summer with someone from our class, I shacked up with a guy I met during basic training, I dated a co-worker at a Kohl's for a while, when I started living alone I picked up guys from bars, from Tinder when I felt lonely, this was all what I was supposed to do. This was what romance was.

"I never felt anything close to like what we had but I chalked that up to just teenage puppy love, hormonal bullshit, I thought I never could feel that again because that's how real romance should feel. So when I met you last month, I was so happy… but the more we had sex, and the more we spent time together, I got scared. I was terrified, Taft… I thought that it was just hormones again, just a nostalgia trip gone wrong. I didn't want to hurt you even further, I noticed how dark your eyes got recently, and I didn't want that for you.

I ran away, just like I always do. That's what I did this week. I buried myself in my work and I ignored you and then on Wednesday…"

She trailed off, choked up. That was when I had stayed up and stood sentry over her parking spot.

"…there was- he was someone from the website I work for. He said he was passing through town and-and wanted to see me in person, since we worked so extensively together through Skype. I-I God-" You continued, and she was shaking, shivering as she kept crying salty hot pain onto my cheek, down my neck. "God I'm so sorry, Taft I went out for drinks with him and I knew what he wanted and I- God …I gave it to him, Taft, we fucked in his hotel and I let him use me like I have all these years. I thought that maybe sex with you felt so special because it's just been a while, I wanted to see if I had another man inside me, another man's hands all over me th-that I could feel normal again.

"But I just felt fucking worse, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I felt so dirty, after the fact. I kept making him fuck me and I thought if he did it harder that I'd forget but your face…your voice, all of it kept coming to me and I just felt worse and worse-"

You sobbed and sobbed. I didn't know what else to do than let her.

"It didn't feel genuine like it does with you. I thought that feeling I get when I'm with you was gone, I don't know how you know how it feels."

I know how it feels.

"I thought this was what normal adults did. I thought this was how romance is supposed to work."

I did too.

"I thought that this is what it would be like for the rest of my life, Taft. Trying to fill myself up with that spark that comes from meeting with guys and spreading my legs, kissing when the "time" is right, until I finally get knocked up and get marri-"

She kept going, but I didn't need to hear anymore. What had been shock turned to resolution. I knew what she needed now. After all these years I would fix this, as best I could, as much as I could.

"You."

I withdrew from the heat of her tears and I looked down at her. She shut up, but her lips kept quivering. I hated seeing her like this. I never wanted to see her like this again.

"What about now?"

She kept hiccupping and sniffling. I felt her nails dig into my neck, and I knew she wanted my body blanketing her. She needed me as much as I needed her, but I wasn't about to let her run away from it after all the cards were bared on the table, vulnerable as we shivered together.

"Wh-What…what about now…?"

"Now…not then, or what might happen in the future, You. But now . Is th-…" I looked at her hard and I wanted to make sure my words counted. "…am I enough?"

"Yes."

…she said that word without a single moment's hesitation. And I could feel myself melt into the blue sparkle of her eyes again.

" Yes, " she said again. "So please don't let m-"

I closed the distance without my mouths to shut her up. I ripped her hands off my neck, and I pinned down her hands with mine. My tongue slid out of her mouth and I looked down at her. My tears splattered on her face.

"So shut up and stop apologizing for things you shouldn't feel sorry for, stop feeling guilty for shit that you don't need to feel guilty for. If I'm enough now …then that's all that matters isn't it?"

I kissed her again. And she hiccuped another sob, but I felt her smile. She tasted sweeter than ever, and our mouths stayed like that, as one, wordless.

We said everything we needed to say.

Our kisses melted into each other, running like syrup between our swollen lips. Our skin was sticky with sweat, with cum, with sugar, but we lay there, the two most comfortable people on the planet. I don't know how long we stayed, swapping kiss after kiss. Eventually, her hand told me she wanted just a little more, and then I was inside her again, rocking into her, pushing into her with languid rolls of my hips.

I swept aside the hair that stuck to her forehead, and I kissed her skin. She giggled and said it tickled, and I only kept kissing, fluttering my lips, hips still pushing in and in and in. My hands found purchase in the sides of her head, in those sweaty locks of grey, and I kept pushing into her, kept anointing her with my kisses, kept whispering that we were going to be okay.

Her mouth eventually started flitting against my Adam's apple, and the sex stayed like that, gentle, effortless, warm. We were making love, and we kept making love for as long as we could. It wasn't a race for the pleasure at the end of it; just the warmth found in her arms was pleasure enough.

The past, with all of its mingling warm joys and steely pain was dust. The future, holding all of the potential heartbreak and possible avenues for pain, smoke.

What we had now, was all that mattered.

We laughed together on that bed, sharing jokes, pushing candies into each other's mouths, and it was like nothing had changed-at the same time, it was like everything was better. We didn't discuss anything about what we were now, but we didn't need to; all that mattered now was that we were together. All the answers I needed and wanted in those moments were in those eyes, nestled between her thighs.

The connection we had now was deeper than the length of my dick. I felt like she could see into me, and me into her, see-through.

Looking deeper still, I lost myself in the sparkle of her blue, she was my Pacific.

I found you.

Night fell,

it was a gibbous moon.

easter.