Hi, here's more of Lizzie's adventures, sorry it took me a while.
Liliac of the Purple Cloak- I am . . . And I thought you'd like the hair!
Malfoyelf- Yay, another regular! I'm sorry I haven't updated the other one, will do as soon as Huinesoron does . . . shouldn't be too long down, I know he's written the Boromir version and the ISPCE one, so he only has pancakes to go. Join my campaign to constantly harass him until he updates ;-) And trust me, as much good as destroying the academy could do, it won't happen for a while yet (far too much mileage to get out of this story first) and I am afraid there will always be sues. And as fun as going to a realistic middle earth would be to write about for a real sue, Lizzie could handle that. She needs a real challenge . . . but that's all I will say for now!
Hirotani- Longer chapters? EEK! Ok, I'll try . . . but it means all my ideas get used up at once! And OMG are you psychic? Look at what the first thing to happen in this chapter is! And Legolasto, whilst a grievous typo, is now an adorable mini balrog, and his name is cute. As is he. Random question will be answered soon.
Fireblade K'Chona- "For every name spelt wrong in Rings, A Mini-Balrog gets its wings" a quote from OFUM, a story by Miss Cam (Camilla Sandman) and she's the one to ask!
Rylee Smith- Thank you!
KittyCatBlack- Thank you. Detailed sentences don't bother me too much, don't worry! Class idea's are coming in fast 'n' thick, so I have a lot of material. Continuing won't be a problem.
Lil angel/devil- Thank you, I'm flattered!
Tiri and Mary- that's good to know! LOL, I LOVE your reviews!
Disclaimer - ISPCE is being used with the kind permission of Huinesoron, Liliac with the permission of herself, even though neither of them are in this chapter. Lizzie is mine and I can therefore submit her to anything I wish (mwahahahah!). TAMS is mine, and I'm going to enjoy making it the most clichéd, fluffy, diabolical place that I can! The Sues are all mine, no matter how hard I try to lose them, so I'll be torturing them until I think of another plan! The PPC is not mine, alas, but I'm only mentioning it.
Diary of an Undercover Sue
Chapter 4 - Lessons and Irony
No sooner had I thought that immortal phrase 'How bad can this get?' when Ironic overpower snuck up and hit me over the head. The door opens and in walks Giri, complete with adoring followers. They each go to a bed, talking, giggling and generally not paying any attention to me sitting in the corner. Perhaps if I stay quiet . . . But no, Giri looks across and sees me. Her brow wrinkles into a very unbecoming frown. I tense up, ready for whatever nasty comment she's going to throw my way. But she doesn't. She ignores me completely. Her and her posse change into their pyjama's (silk naturally) and gather around Giri's bed. One of them, a sue of the "classical raven beauty" school, asks in a simpering little voice "Please tell us another ghost story Giritinuvielwen." I wonder how on earth she manages to say that without tying her tongue in knots. But Giri bows her head graciously and starts to talk. I take the opportunity to check on Legolasto. He's asleep bless him, probably dreaming of hunting fangirls.
I'm about to follow his example and get some sleep myself when I hear Giri say something I'd never of expected from her. "It was the PPC!" Now, I never expected Giri to know about the PPC. So, curiosity piqued, I listen carefully.
"And they chased this poor girl with an axe. When her parents went in her room the next morning her head was sitting on top of the computer monitor and in the story she had been working on was the message "You've been PPC'd!" her friends all gasp appropriately. I feel ill. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! I'm not going to sit here and listen to this fangirl disgrace the good name of the PPC. So I get out of my bed and tell them "That's not true!"
Giri glares at me and says "Duh, it's just a story. Of course there's no such thing as the PPC . . ." I interrupt "Oh there is a PPC, but they're not a bunch of psychopaths. They are the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, and they stop people like you massacring Tolkien's masterpiece." She stares at me as if I've gone loopy. I don't care "They never go after the writers, no matter how annoying they are. They only hunt Mary Sues who muck up canon." And I leave them to whisper ("She's crazy!" "There's no such thing, is there Giri?") whilst I go back to sleep. Stupid fangirls.
Next morning I wake up early and leave before the Giri squad open their eyes. I'm actually looking forward to one of my lessons. I've got archery, after keeping your identity. That one should be mildly amusing. I would love to know how you're meant to tell the difference between all of these "Tall raven beauties", the "curvaceous red heads" and the "willowy blondes". But archery! I love archery, ever since Dafydd let me muck around with his spare bow so I'd stop annoying him during his training session. I wanted to be a member of the PPC back then, and I was always at the headquarters following Dafydd around. I changed my mind about the PPC though. As awful as the sues were, I'm no killer. I was more suited to planning things, which is how I came to work in ISPCE. But I still love archery, even though I don't have time to practice any more. The class will actually be fun!
Keeping your identity was a total wash out. Supposedly, it's all about the level of description you use. Just how golden is your hair? Are your eyes deep blue or mysterious blue? What a waste of time. But now Sally, Nicole and I are walking to archery. They're both as excited as I am about having a class that's actually useful. We walk in the door and look around. There's a cupboard with the bows in, and a stand of quivers. The room itself is a bit small and I can't see any targets, but the practical bit is probably outside. Everyone files in (unfortunately this includes Giri) and we sit down to wait for the teacher. I make a small bet with Sally that she'll be a brunette, tanned and muscled. Sally says athletic, moonlight skin and raven haired. She walks through the door a moment later. Brunette tanned and muscled. I wink at Sally, who pokes her tongue out at me. The teacher starts handing out quivers and bows. She tells us how to wear the quiver to avoid snagging our hair. She shows us the graceful way to stand (which is also highly impractical). She shows us the smooth fluid arm motion to draw an arrow from your quiver. Then she tells us to practice. I wave my hand in the air.
"Yes dear?" she asks. "What about firing the arrows?" I ask, starting to panic. There's a few nods around the room from random sues. I'm glad I'm not the only one. The teacher laughs "There's no need for that. The authors always give their characters the skills they need." I can't believe this! "You're telling me we get sent into Middle Earth with no experience?" Giri laughs and says "How hard can it be?" I resist copying Sally and poking my tongue at her. Instead I reply "Not too hard, provided you hold the bow the right way up!" She blushes, and switches the bow the right way up. I look around for support "Surely the point of archery lessons is to learn how to use the bow? Mainly how to shoot the arrows. I mean, I can do it but . . . "
"Sure you can" says Giri, rolling her eyes. In reply, I take an arrow from my quiver and say "name your target." She points out of the window at an apple hanging from a convenient tree. The teacher looks worried and says "This isn't a good idea, you're not meant to fire the bows!" But Sally opens the window for me and I aim, draw back the string and fire. The apple falls to the ground, neatly skewered. There's a round of applause from the Sues, and Giri scowls. "I can do that" she says, and she loads her bow. Before the teacher can repeat her misgivings, and before I can stop her, Giri fires. The arrow embeds itself in the window frame, a couple of inches from the teachers head. She looks like she's going to faint. She raises a shaky finger and points to the door. "Headmistresses office. Now!" But she's not looking at Giri. She's looking at me.
No body in the class (except Giri) thought that was fair. Everybody argued that it wasn't my fault, and quite a few trainee sues said we should have been taught how to fire the bow in the first place. This gave me a brilliant idea. If I can get the sues to rebel against the stereotypical sue-ness that this school enforces, my mission might succeed. With the academy being forced to teach sensible, canonical practices, sues would no longer be a risk to elves. All I have to do is stir up a rebellion. Only trouble is, every time I do I'll probably have to go into the headmistress's office, and see the miss spelt words. The things I do for Tolkien!
(A/N) The PPC IS real. Proof can be through Camilla Sandman's bio page (curse fanfiction.net for not letting me put the link!) which I recommend. I read a lot, I like the stuff I read, and I recommend it to anyone who will listen. You might have noticed.
Liliac of the Purple Cloak- I am . . . And I thought you'd like the hair!
Malfoyelf- Yay, another regular! I'm sorry I haven't updated the other one, will do as soon as Huinesoron does . . . shouldn't be too long down, I know he's written the Boromir version and the ISPCE one, so he only has pancakes to go. Join my campaign to constantly harass him until he updates ;-) And trust me, as much good as destroying the academy could do, it won't happen for a while yet (far too much mileage to get out of this story first) and I am afraid there will always be sues. And as fun as going to a realistic middle earth would be to write about for a real sue, Lizzie could handle that. She needs a real challenge . . . but that's all I will say for now!
Hirotani- Longer chapters? EEK! Ok, I'll try . . . but it means all my ideas get used up at once! And OMG are you psychic? Look at what the first thing to happen in this chapter is! And Legolasto, whilst a grievous typo, is now an adorable mini balrog, and his name is cute. As is he. Random question will be answered soon.
Fireblade K'Chona- "For every name spelt wrong in Rings, A Mini-Balrog gets its wings" a quote from OFUM, a story by Miss Cam (Camilla Sandman) and she's the one to ask!
Rylee Smith- Thank you!
KittyCatBlack- Thank you. Detailed sentences don't bother me too much, don't worry! Class idea's are coming in fast 'n' thick, so I have a lot of material. Continuing won't be a problem.
Lil angel/devil- Thank you, I'm flattered!
Tiri and Mary- that's good to know! LOL, I LOVE your reviews!
Disclaimer - ISPCE is being used with the kind permission of Huinesoron, Liliac with the permission of herself, even though neither of them are in this chapter. Lizzie is mine and I can therefore submit her to anything I wish (mwahahahah!). TAMS is mine, and I'm going to enjoy making it the most clichéd, fluffy, diabolical place that I can! The Sues are all mine, no matter how hard I try to lose them, so I'll be torturing them until I think of another plan! The PPC is not mine, alas, but I'm only mentioning it.
Diary of an Undercover Sue
Chapter 4 - Lessons and Irony
No sooner had I thought that immortal phrase 'How bad can this get?' when Ironic overpower snuck up and hit me over the head. The door opens and in walks Giri, complete with adoring followers. They each go to a bed, talking, giggling and generally not paying any attention to me sitting in the corner. Perhaps if I stay quiet . . . But no, Giri looks across and sees me. Her brow wrinkles into a very unbecoming frown. I tense up, ready for whatever nasty comment she's going to throw my way. But she doesn't. She ignores me completely. Her and her posse change into their pyjama's (silk naturally) and gather around Giri's bed. One of them, a sue of the "classical raven beauty" school, asks in a simpering little voice "Please tell us another ghost story Giritinuvielwen." I wonder how on earth she manages to say that without tying her tongue in knots. But Giri bows her head graciously and starts to talk. I take the opportunity to check on Legolasto. He's asleep bless him, probably dreaming of hunting fangirls.
I'm about to follow his example and get some sleep myself when I hear Giri say something I'd never of expected from her. "It was the PPC!" Now, I never expected Giri to know about the PPC. So, curiosity piqued, I listen carefully.
"And they chased this poor girl with an axe. When her parents went in her room the next morning her head was sitting on top of the computer monitor and in the story she had been working on was the message "You've been PPC'd!" her friends all gasp appropriately. I feel ill. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! I'm not going to sit here and listen to this fangirl disgrace the good name of the PPC. So I get out of my bed and tell them "That's not true!"
Giri glares at me and says "Duh, it's just a story. Of course there's no such thing as the PPC . . ." I interrupt "Oh there is a PPC, but they're not a bunch of psychopaths. They are the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, and they stop people like you massacring Tolkien's masterpiece." She stares at me as if I've gone loopy. I don't care "They never go after the writers, no matter how annoying they are. They only hunt Mary Sues who muck up canon." And I leave them to whisper ("She's crazy!" "There's no such thing, is there Giri?") whilst I go back to sleep. Stupid fangirls.
Next morning I wake up early and leave before the Giri squad open their eyes. I'm actually looking forward to one of my lessons. I've got archery, after keeping your identity. That one should be mildly amusing. I would love to know how you're meant to tell the difference between all of these "Tall raven beauties", the "curvaceous red heads" and the "willowy blondes". But archery! I love archery, ever since Dafydd let me muck around with his spare bow so I'd stop annoying him during his training session. I wanted to be a member of the PPC back then, and I was always at the headquarters following Dafydd around. I changed my mind about the PPC though. As awful as the sues were, I'm no killer. I was more suited to planning things, which is how I came to work in ISPCE. But I still love archery, even though I don't have time to practice any more. The class will actually be fun!
Keeping your identity was a total wash out. Supposedly, it's all about the level of description you use. Just how golden is your hair? Are your eyes deep blue or mysterious blue? What a waste of time. But now Sally, Nicole and I are walking to archery. They're both as excited as I am about having a class that's actually useful. We walk in the door and look around. There's a cupboard with the bows in, and a stand of quivers. The room itself is a bit small and I can't see any targets, but the practical bit is probably outside. Everyone files in (unfortunately this includes Giri) and we sit down to wait for the teacher. I make a small bet with Sally that she'll be a brunette, tanned and muscled. Sally says athletic, moonlight skin and raven haired. She walks through the door a moment later. Brunette tanned and muscled. I wink at Sally, who pokes her tongue out at me. The teacher starts handing out quivers and bows. She tells us how to wear the quiver to avoid snagging our hair. She shows us the graceful way to stand (which is also highly impractical). She shows us the smooth fluid arm motion to draw an arrow from your quiver. Then she tells us to practice. I wave my hand in the air.
"Yes dear?" she asks. "What about firing the arrows?" I ask, starting to panic. There's a few nods around the room from random sues. I'm glad I'm not the only one. The teacher laughs "There's no need for that. The authors always give their characters the skills they need." I can't believe this! "You're telling me we get sent into Middle Earth with no experience?" Giri laughs and says "How hard can it be?" I resist copying Sally and poking my tongue at her. Instead I reply "Not too hard, provided you hold the bow the right way up!" She blushes, and switches the bow the right way up. I look around for support "Surely the point of archery lessons is to learn how to use the bow? Mainly how to shoot the arrows. I mean, I can do it but . . . "
"Sure you can" says Giri, rolling her eyes. In reply, I take an arrow from my quiver and say "name your target." She points out of the window at an apple hanging from a convenient tree. The teacher looks worried and says "This isn't a good idea, you're not meant to fire the bows!" But Sally opens the window for me and I aim, draw back the string and fire. The apple falls to the ground, neatly skewered. There's a round of applause from the Sues, and Giri scowls. "I can do that" she says, and she loads her bow. Before the teacher can repeat her misgivings, and before I can stop her, Giri fires. The arrow embeds itself in the window frame, a couple of inches from the teachers head. She looks like she's going to faint. She raises a shaky finger and points to the door. "Headmistresses office. Now!" But she's not looking at Giri. She's looking at me.
No body in the class (except Giri) thought that was fair. Everybody argued that it wasn't my fault, and quite a few trainee sues said we should have been taught how to fire the bow in the first place. This gave me a brilliant idea. If I can get the sues to rebel against the stereotypical sue-ness that this school enforces, my mission might succeed. With the academy being forced to teach sensible, canonical practices, sues would no longer be a risk to elves. All I have to do is stir up a rebellion. Only trouble is, every time I do I'll probably have to go into the headmistress's office, and see the miss spelt words. The things I do for Tolkien!
(A/N) The PPC IS real. Proof can be through Camilla Sandman's bio page (curse fanfiction.net for not letting me put the link!) which I recommend. I read a lot, I like the stuff I read, and I recommend it to anyone who will listen. You might have noticed.
