"I thinks… I should stay here to takes care of you."
Skwisgaar was sitting with his head buried in his hands, sitting in his wheelchair next to Toki. He had been in the same position for five minutes. When he heard Toki's high-pitched voice from the couch he raised his head slowly. "I can'ts believe she just left me like that. I…I just can't…" His voice trembled. He couldn't find words to say. The small paper disappeared in his closed fist and his knuckles turned white with tension.
"Shh, it's okay!" Toki said as he put his hand on Skwisgaar's shoulder, trying to make him feel better.
Skwisgaar had waited for this moment to come. He had always wanted to live alone and away from his mother, but this was not the right time. Actually, she couldn't pick a worse day to leave. He lowered his head and hid his face again. His voice muffled behind his hair. "Tokis…I have no relatives in Stockholm. Actuallies, I don't have any relatives. I don't want to be a burden to you but I just can't even get a goddamn glass of water by myself. I know it is fuckins weird to ask a man who I met hours ago to stay in my hou-"
"Stop it Skwisgaar. You don't need to ask, I already said I'ms staying with you."
Skwisgaar decided he should stay downstairs because it was impossible for him to ascend the stairs to his room. They prepared the couch like a bed with pillows and sheets. He was "couch-bound" from now on.
Toki asked Skwisgaar if he could tour the house. If he was going to live in this place for a couple of days- or weeks- he needed to know where things were.
It was colder upstairs. He zipped his hoodie up. When he looked through the window of the room he assumed was Skwisgaar's, he saw the backyard and the endless forest beyond it. The sun was shining on the piles of snow. The view was beautiful.
The guitar he found in the corner of the room was beautiful too. He touched it delicately. It was a Gibson Explorer.
Then he caught sight of the Flying V next to it. I understand why Skwisgaar says he is out of money now, he thought. They must have been costed him a lot. He looked at the little guitar army truly amazed. When he had asked for one from his dad in his childhood the answer hadn't come with words, it had come with violence…and the whip marks on his back were the proof.
At first Skwisgaar couldn't tell what woke him up; the pain of his legs or the metallic voice of a guitar. He opened one of his eyes and watched the moving fingers on the frets while he pretended to be asleep.
Toki stopped playing and smiled shyly when he realized Skwisgaar was watching him. The dim light of fireplace casted shadows on his face. "Oops! Did I wakes you?" He looked guilty.
"No, Tokis. Please keep playing." The blonde man who was lying on his back folded his arms behind his head.
Toki played a couple more notes on the unplugged Flying V. He made some mistakes but they could be overlooked. "Sorries, I can't play well when someone is watching me." He said with an look of embarrassment.
"Ams you serious? You were pretty good Toki. How longs have you been playing?" Skwisgaar asked with a serious face.
"Umm… I brought the guitar downstairs to ask if I could play but you were asleep so-"
"No! I mean when did you first starts to play?"
"Wowie it's been a long time. Approximately ten years ago…"
"Tokis. How olds are you?" Skwisgaar looked confused.
"I turned 18 last month."
Skwisgaar looked at Toki with interest, he was younger than he assumed. Toki felt the need to break the silence so he kept talking.
"In my school's music room there was a grandpa's guitar- I mean acoustic. I tried to play some notes on that by myself, then I realized I could play a whole song if I practiced really hard. When I was twelve I asked my parents to buy me an electric guitar, because that lame guitars wasn't enough for me; I wanted more. I wanted to play metal. But that was the greatest mistake of my life…They accused me of being a Satanist and punished me for weeks. It turned out metal music wasn't their cup of tea…So I secretly started playing an electric guitar in one of my friend's houses. He woulds let me use their garage any day of the week. Then we formed a band. But my father found it out after some months. It wasn't the bestest moment of my lifes to be honest. "
Skwisgaar looked at Toki with sympathy. He had never had a problem like that. His mom would just leave him to his own devices and not care about his personal life. Skwisgaar was extremely okay with that. "Well, you can play as much as you want from now on, Tokis. Don't worry, I won't accuse you of being a Satanist." He half-smiled before suddenly scrunching his face and tightly closing his eyes. "But first, what about giving me some painkillers?"
Toki quickly got up and put the guitar where he was sitting. "Oh, yeah, yeah! Waits a minute I's gonna get them."
Skwisgaar watched him walk away and glanced at the guitar. As he narrowed his eyes and extended his arm to reach for it Toki got in the way.
"No Skwisgaar! No moving!" He pushed Skwisgaar gently on his back again.
Skwisgaar looked confused. He hadn't done anything that extreme. He propped himself on his elbows. "Umm…okay, just…cans you hand me the guitar?"
When he reunited with his guitar, he played some arpeggios to warm up and then started shredding. His fingers were blurring with the intense speed. He didn't miss a single note. Toki watched him like he was the best guitarist he had ever seen. Actually, he was.
After five or so minutes Skwisgaar grimaced in dissatisfaction and put the guitar on the floor. "This ams needs to be tuned. I haven't played this one for a long time, I usuallies play the Explorer." He paused for a moment when he noticed Toki was watching him with his mouth agape. He waved his arm in front of the other man's face to get Toki back to the real word again. Toki didn't move. "Tokis? Ams you breathing? Do something!"
Toki came back to himself and blinked a couple of times. He sounded shocked when he spoke, "Skwisgaar you ams a guitar GOD!"
Skwisgaar's lips curved upwards, but then he scrunched his face again. "I will be a better guitars god if you give me my painkillers."
"Oh, sorry." said Toki, who then gave Skwisgaar the pill and glass of water he had been absently holding the whole time. "I lit a fire in the fireplace while you were asleeps. The house seemed cold."
Skwisgaar wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his hoodie and put the glass on the coffee table. "Ja, you're right. It wills be even colder next month." He pulled the blanket up to his chin. "How long haves I slept by the way? What time is it?"
"You slept for four hours or somethings. It's getting on for eleven."
"I guess I have nothing better to do besides sleeping…" He snuggled more under the blanket. His golden hair and blue eyes were the only things visible.
"You can always plays some guitar."
"Wanna duel?" Skwisgaar's muffled voice came from under his blanket. Toki knew he was smiling even though he couldn't see his mouth.
Toki got up slowly and grinned back at Skwisgaar. "Let me get the other guitar and the amps." He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned his head to Skwisgaar. "You knows what, you ams such a pain in the ass. I feel like you're gonna tire me out the next few days." The brunette teased Skwisgaar.
"I thinks I have a right to be a pain in the ass because of the 'pain in my legs'." He pretended to sound serious but his smirk in his voice gave him away.
"You's always have to be right, don'ts you?" Toki said as he ascended the stairs. He could still hear the other man's laughter when he reached the top.
It was too late when he realized it had turned into heartbreaking sobs.
