Nick spent the remainder of the night locked away in his room, doing anything he could to possibly occupy his mind, to keep it from thinking about Jess and what a total fool he was.
He tried to block out the sounds as Jess stomped around the kitchen yelling about what a jerk he was and that she was through will all his stupid games! He tried not to listen as Schmidt helped her clear up, doing his best to calm her down and convince her to talk to Nick. Jess nearly exploded at this suggestion and Nick was pretty sure he heard her throw something hard at Schmidt causing him to yelp like a dog. After a little while he heard light but definitely angry footsteps approach his room, he felt them stop outside his door and held his breath for a moment. Was she going to come in? Did he want her to? That was a ridiculous question, of course he did. Nick got off his bed and hovered behind his door, convinced he could hear forced, irritated breathing on the other side. He waited for her Jess knock, three little light taps of her knuckles or maybe considering the mood he had put her in three pounding fists on his door but they never came. He heard the shuffle of footsteps and then the crashing sound of her door closing.
Nick suppressed an anguished groan and threw himself face first on his bed. At first he tried sleep, willing his eyes to close and just forget this whole day but he knew that would be impossible. So he tried to read, he flicked through some sports magazines not taking in a single word. He then tried the novel he had started six months ago and yet was still only halfway through chapter three. He moved to his desk and thought about going back to his own novel, trying to finally get the damn thing finished but then Jess's face appeared in his mind, yelling at him tears in her eyes. He slammed the laptop shut and grabbed his iPod, flinging himself back down on the unmade sheets with a defeated sigh.
As soon as he pressed play his eardrums nearly burst as the sound of Metallica exploded in his ears. Nick forgot he had been listening to this when he had been trying to fix a leak in the bathroom the other day, Nick liked metal for DIY it was usually when he was able to let out all his anger on some poor defenceless object. Angry fixing Jess called it, it rarely worked and more often than not made the problem worse but it was Nick's way. Nick thought he was angry enough for tonight, he set it to shuffle and lay back, desperately trying to force Jess's hurt face from his mind. His iPod however seemed to have other ideas as the first song came on.
Whitesnake – Is This Love?
Eugh, Nick thought, pressing the skip button.
Lifehouse – You & Me
Skip.
Kings of Leon – Use Somebody
Nick grasped the iPod tighter in his hands and skipped to the next song.
Ed Sheeran – Give Me Love
Seriously? Nick thought skipping the song practically punching the button.
The White Stripes – Fell In Love With A Girl
Skip.
The Black Keys – Too Afraid To Love You
For the love of god Nick thought, there was something wrong with this thing! He skipped to the next song and swore if it was Adele that would be it; he would jump right out of his bedroom window. But it wasn't Adele; it was much, much worse.
Taylor Swift – You Belong With Me
Nick sat bolt upright and listened as Taylors chirpy voice yapped in his ear. Why in the hell was Taylor Swift on his iPod? Then Nick had a sudden flashback to a few months ago when he was feeling particularly down, even for him, not long after Angie had left him at the cabin. He had been looking for his iPod, only to find Jess had taken it, she gave it back to him with a very Jess type grin and told him to check the playlists. He scrolled down and found the 'Let the Sunshine In – The Anti-Nick Miller Playlist' which she had preceded to fill up with her cool hipster bands and cheesy pop, which included of course Taylor Swift.
God how was she able to always invade his mind? There was literally no escaping her. With Taylor still whining in his ear Nick yanked the earphones from his head and threw the iPod across the room. It was probably broken but Nick didn't care. He jumped out of his bed and grabbed his laptop from his desk, there was only one thing left to do, weird things on his computer.
Late the next morning Nick lay in bed, laptop open, ear phones in, he didn't want anyone to know what he was watching. He had barely slept, maybe a few half hour snoozes between three and six am but for most of the night he had just lay there, unable to switch his brain off. He'd snuck out around one am and grabbed some food once he was pretty sure everyone else was asleep, the kitchen looked immaculate, like nothing had ever happened, but when Nick opened the trash he was reminded of his handy work, it was filled with all Jess's destroyed party stuff.
He had listened silently this morning as Jess stomped up and down the hall to the bathroom, then hovered outside his door as she yelled a little too loudly to the others she was going back to the store to replace all her ruined stuff. Again she had waited outside his door, as if she was waiting for him to come out and apologise. What did she expect that he would offer to pay for it? Nick didn't care if it was his fault he was not paying to replace penis shaped straws and god knows what else was in those bags. After a few moments of waiting he heard Jess storm off, muttering none too loudly about selfish and infuriating jackasses.
That had been an hour ago but still Nick hadn't moved, he just continued to hide out in his room. As much as he was avoiding Jess he also could not deal with his other roommates right now. Winston was pretty much confused about everything that was going on from what Nick could overhear through the door last night and wanted to stay the hell of it but Nick knew he would still have some pretty awkward questions. And Schmidt? Well Schmidt would be Schmidt and that was something Nick did not need.
As if on cue Schmidt opened Nick's door and entered gingerly. "Afternoon handsome."
Nick let out an annoyed grunt, he said pulling one ear phone free, "Eurgh Schmidt don't call me that, it's weird."
Schmidt rolled his eyes, "There is nothing weird about one man-friend giving another a compliment…" he paused. "…despite its obviously false nature to cheer him up."
"I don't need cheering up." Nick barked. Not even bothering to comment on Schmidt's rebuked compliment. "And don't call me your man-friend! That's even worse."
"First things first Nicholas you are my man-friend, my compadré, my buddy…" Schmidt began.
"You make me sound like a dog Schmidt." Nick growled, his eyes flicking to the screen occasionally.
"Hmmm if the shoe fits…" Schmidt said surveying the catastrophic mess that was Nick's room, "but quite frankly a dog would be more house proud."
"Go away Schmidt."
But Schmidt just shut the door behind him and sat down on the corner of Nick's bed, crossing his legs and giving Nick what he was sure was meant to be a kind smile but only served to make Nick uncomfortable. "Don't be like that Nicholas I've come here to help you."
"Oh god." Nick said sitting himself up in his bed.
Schmidt smiled, "You know it's strange to hear that from man in bed." Schmidt said. "Still I'll take it."
"Jar Schmidt." Nick said with shudder. "And it was not a compliment. Will you just go away." He said pointing to the door, turning his attention back to his computer.
"No Nick I will not go away." Schmidt replied. "And will you turn that thing off? What are you even watching?" he asked reaching out to turn the screen to face him.
Nick instantly tugged the computer back out of Schmidt's reach. "No." he said simply.
Schmidt raised an eyebrow, "No? What are you watching? Porn?" he asked craning his head to see. "Is it really dirty?"
"Yep, disgusting, filthy…horrible stuff Schmidt." Nick said instantly regretting it, whilst the idea of freaky porn would turn most people off Schmidt only grew more intrigued, the little pervert.
"Let me see!" he yelled a little too excited lunging for the computer once again.
Nick slapped the laptop shut with a loud smack and glared warningly at Schmidt.
Schmidt leant back and put his hands up, "Ok, ok keep your freaky deaky secrets, I don't care." He said unconvincingly. "Did it have animals in it?"
"Jar!" Nick yelled.
"Fine!" Schmidt said. "Look Nick I know you are not one to talk about how you feel…" he began, Nick shot daggers at him. "…but what happened yesterday…"
Nick cut him off, "Nothing happened yesterday." He said simply.
Schmidt rolled his eyes, "Come on Nick seriously? You can't just act as though nothing happened."
Nick shrugged.
Schmidt was growing increasingly frustrated; he stood up put his hand to his forehead. "Look as much as the idea of you and Jess getting all…" he said before making kissing noises. "and bumping uglies makes me want to bring up my huevos racnheros…"
Nick looked at him confused.
"Winston and I went out for brunch." Schmidt explained. "We needed to escape the Day-Miller war of attrition and potential atomic pasta explosions. Jess was stomping around here like a pissed off smurf this morning. Can you believe that girl threw my own crepe pan at me yesterday?"
"You didn't tell Winston did you Schmidt?" Nick asked angrily leaning forward.
"Of course not!" Schmidt replied insulted by the accusation. "I promised to keep your not-so secret little crush to myself and unlike some people I actually understand what the word oath means."
Nick rolled his eyes and flopped back against the wall. "Whatever."
Schmidt ignored Nick and continued with his unwanted advice, "As I was saying, whilst the idea of two you together is hideous there is clearly something there so I think you need to locate your testicles under all that chubby disappointment and go talk to that doe-eyed vixen and figure this out once and for all."
"It's not that easy Schmidt." Nick snapped.
"No Nick it is that easy." Schmidt replied. "Life is not quite the struggle you seem to make it out to be. You want something you go for it, sometimes you get it and sometimes you don't but this difference with you Nick is you don't even try. Me on the other hand, I crush everything!"
Nick felt himself shrink back at Schmidt's words, "I don't need a pep talk from you Schmidt."
"No what you need is a big boot up your flabby ass!" Schmidt said. "Yesterday you were so utterly convinced you were in love with Jess you were willing to climb over gates and break into houses, risking your life and mine I might add, against the hounds of hell, and now what you're just done?" he said sceptically.
Nick shrugged, refusing to meet his friend's eyes.
"I refuse to be forced to live in this house of teenage angst any longer! The will they/wont they storyline has grown beyond tiresome Nick." Schmidt griped. "I'm sick of all the arguments and drama and exploding objects! By the way I am billing you two for my fish tank."
"That's exactly why this it wouldn't work Schmidt! Look at all the damage and drama over the past few months and we're not even together." Nick growled. "Things would only get worse."
"You can't possibly know that." Schmidt replied.
"Yes I do Schmidt." Nick replied darkly.
"What are there fortune tellers in your gypsy heritage?" Schmidt scoffed.
"No but it's like you said Schmidt I'm irrevocably damaged and have the shittiest record with women. Relationships and Nick Miller don't work. I can't help myself I always have to screw it up and I'm not doing that again, not with…" he couldn't bring himself to say her name. "…her."
Schmidt threw his hands up in despair, "You're making this decision from what I said? Ten years Nick! Ten years I have been trying to get you to listen to me, about your hair, your diet, your complete lack of any fashion sense and now is the time you decide to listen!"
"You were right." Nick said.
"No I wasn't…" Schmidt replied. "Ok yes I was, its true Nick you are all of those things, beyond damaged and broken and in need of some serious anger management but…"
"Where are you going with this Schmidt?" Nick snapped.
Schmidt looked at his friend with a heavy sigh, "But I think Jess could be good for you."
Nick took in his words and knew he was right, Jess would be so good for Nick, too good. "Maybe but I'd be no good for her." He said darkly. "I ruin everything remember?"
Schmidt rolled his eyes, "Jeez who do you think you are? Some kind of bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks? Please, you're afraid of commitment and that you might screw things up Nick, you're basically every guy on the planet." He added. "Besides I think it will take more than Nick Miller's relationship phobias to ruin Jessica Day, that girl is like Pippi Longstockings on acid at Disneyland. With a mean right arm as well." He added rubbing the sore spot on his arm where the crepe pan had apparently struck him.
Nick scowled at his friend; this was the second time in 24 hours someone had called him afraid. He was starting to get really pissed off, people needed to stay the hell out of his business. He jumped up off of the bed. "Schmidt I'm done talking to you about this ok?"
"Nick…"
"No Schmidt, I don't know what I felt for Jess ok but it doesn't matter I'm not going to talk to her about it. It would never ever work and just mess things up more than they already are. I just want things to go back and forget all this stupid crap ever happened." Nick yelled as Schmidt opened his mouth to argue. "Look I need to shower; I'm working a double shift at the bar. Just leave it alone Schmidt." He added before stomping out of his room, leaving Schmidt standing alone maddened by the whole situation.
Well fine if he doesn't want by help screw him, let him end up a miserable lonely old drunk, Schmidt thought. I'm done with their high school crap, it's not like I don't have my own stuff to deal with, he thought trying to keep his mind away from CeCe and her upcoming nuptials. He turned to leave but Nick's closed laptop caught his eye. He listened carefully for a moment and heard the bathroom door close with an almighty slam, Nick wouldn't be back any time soon and Schmidt couldn't resist peeking at what he had been watching, hoping for something indecent and obscene to cheer him up. Schmidt was surprised as Nick tended to very traditional and vanilla with his pornographic choices, he wasn't as open minded as Schmidt. Quietly Schmidt opened the computer and waited for it to return to life; a second later he was truly horrified by what his eyes witnessed.
"Oh Nick…" Schmidt whispered to himself as he watched Johnny teach Baby how to dance the Mambo.
Later that night Jess carefully and quietly edged her bedroom door open, poking her head out to survey the hallway, cautiously she tiptoed outside. The loft was silent and apparently deserted.
"Guys?" she called out loudly. "Helloooooooo…anyone home?" but no one replied.
Jess exhaled a heavy sigh of relief; she had the whole loft to herself, exactly what she wanted, she was avoiding all of her male roommates at this moment in time. Peace and quiet, perfection. No stupid boys smashing jars or banging around like emotionally stunted turtle faced jackasses, well maybe there was just one boy in particular she was hoping to avoid. No, she stopped herself immediately as she let Nick's grumpy image invade her mind, she would not think about him anymore. She had spent all day violently obsessing over his infuriating antics yesterday and his refusal to offer any explanation as to what the hell his problem was. Jess supposed she should be used to the Nick Miller mode of operation by now, heaven forbid he would act like an emotionally mature adult, express his feelings, listen to others and try to resolve the situation, no that sounded far too simple and healthy. Damn that grumpy mystery!
It was like she had told the cashier at the sex store this morning after she had to go back and re-buy ALL the stuff for CeCe's party, which thanks to Nick's sauce attack ended up costing even more as the glow in the dark penis whistles were no longer on special, he would never be able to tell her how he really felt, which meant they would most likely be stuck in this ridiculous merry-go-round of tension and frustration forever. Well no more, Jess told the poor girl behind the counter, Jess was done with his juvenile games, she had decided to take the mature approach, she was just going to ignore him forever. Yep, totally mature and healthy idea Day she told himself, act as though he doesn't exist, she won't waste another second thinking about that man.
Even though she had just spent the past ten minutes thinking about him whilst she made her tea, well no more she told herself. Starting now Nick Miller didn't exist to her, she would not think about him, not about his stupid turtle face, or his bedraggled hair, or his dark incomprehensible eyes… or his perfect lips ferociously covering her own… No she would not think about any of those things she warned herself, those thoughts were now banned. Jess felt suddenly hot and overwhelmed, must be the heat from the kettle she told herself.
With a weary sigh she turned her attention to the large metal tin beside her, decorated with vintage pictures of cakes, Jess felt after the past few days she deserved a little treat. She tugged at the lid and it came off with ease, see she didn't need anyone's help she grunted internally and frowned at its contents. Three days ago she had baked a dozen cupcakes and a tray of cookies, the guys had lambasted her again for her endless baking, but that hadn't seem to stop them helping themselves to the finished results, all that remained was a broken half of a oatmeal and raisin cookie, and two cupcakes, one with lemon frosting and one chocolate.
Jess reached out instinctively for the lemon cupcake, she always left the last chocolate one for Nick as they were his favourite and he loved to have them when he came home from a long shift at the bar. Jess never understood the combination of beer and cupcakes at four am but it always seemed to cheer Nick up. Then Jess hesitated. She picked up the chocolate cupcake and surveyed it for a moment, assessing what her next move was to be. She could just eat it, there were no loft laws that said the last chocolate cupcake belonged to Nick Miller, besides she was the one who had spent hours making the damn things without so much as a thank you. Maybe she would sabotage it, maybe she would lick it and put it back or cover it in hot sauce or something, she thought excitedly. Then Jess felt a wave of guilt flood through her, she wasn't this sort of girl, one who would do something so petty on purpose just to spite someone else. Jess went to put the cake back when suddenly the image of Nick's scrunched up and heated face from yesterday burst into her mind as he slammed his bedroom door angrily her face, any worry or guilt Jess felt evaporated instantly and she felt pure fury rush in her veins. She grabbed the chocolate cupcake and took the biggest bite right off the top, chocolate frosting smearing across her lips.
"Sucks to be you turtle face." She snarled slamming the lid of the cake tin shut.
Half an hour later Jess sat on the couch, the cake tin now lie completely empty on the coffee table Jess having consumed not only Nick's last chocolate cake but also the lemon one and the crumbled half of the cookie. She wasn't comfort eating she told herself, she was just hungry that's all, besides she had nothing to comfort eat about. Nothing had happened, not really, she hadn't been dumped or broken up with a guy, she didn't even have a boyfriend, no she had a…what did he call them? Roomfriends? Dammit, she thought, how had she let him back into her mind again? Jess had been waging an internal battle ever since she sat down to try and watch a movie to keep her brain occupied but no matter what she did Nick always seemed to worm his way back into her thoughts, she just couldn't keep him out.
Her whole pretending Nick Miller didn't exist plan was failing pretty miserably and now she had cupcake guilt on top of that. The sad thought of a tired and hungry Nick coming home from his late shift and finding someone had eaten his cake bothered Jess more than she liked. Maybe she should bake another batch of chocolate ones? Or would that be too obvious? Maybe she could bake a few different flavours and throw some chocolate ones in so he didn't realise she had done it for him. My god what was she thinking, all this over a stupid cake? And after how he behaved yesterday quite frankly he deserved a lot worse but Jess still hated the thought that her actions, not matter how silly or tiny, could upset stupid Nick Miller. Argh no, she thought, forget the cupcake and forget him, he does not exists, just sit and watch the movie Jess.
Jess was so concentrating on forcing her brain to take in the scene before her on the TV and keeping all thoughts of Nick from her mind she didn't notice the loft door click open and it was only when she heard a shriek from the doorway did she realise she was not alone.
"STOP!" Schmidt yelled as he slammed the front door. "Stop this at once!" he screamed at her rushing towards the TV.
Jess stared up at him in confusion, "Schmidt what the hell is wrong with you?"
"Turn this filth off my television Jessica Day…immediately." He demanded.
"Schmidt it's just Dirty Dancing." Jess said still completely lost.
"Exactly." Schmidt said as he stood before Jess. "This abomination is like a disease, its everywhere!"
"Ok, ok." Jess said grabbing the remote and hitting pause, the movie froze instantly on the screen.
"I said off Jess." Schmidt said looking at the screen. "And as I can still see Swayze you clearly have some issue understanding the English language. Turn. It. Off. Now."
"Fine." Jess growled jumping up and tossing the remote back on the couch. "Jeez what jumped up your butt?"
"You did!" Schmidt yelled Jess physically recoiled at his words. "You and Nick and your ridiculous low budget remake ofWhen Harry Met Sally jumped right up my perfectly toned buttocks and have ruined my home! With the looks, and the yelling and the…the Dirty damn Dancing! No more!"
"What?" Jess asked shocked by his outburst.
"For the love of god just make up your minds people! Just let him into your door already or be done with it!" Schmidt yelled.
"I err…Schmidt…" Jess stammered, Schmidt moved closer to her his eyes glaring at her like an angry parent.
"Sit down Jessica I think it's time you and I had a little chat." He said quietly, trying to calm himself.
Jess took a step back, "Schmidt I don't think you and I…don't take this the wrong way but you are the last person on earth…"
"Silence." Schmidt yelled raising his hand in the air. "Sit." He said pointing to the couch.
Jess was in such shock she had no idea what to do other than follow his instructions. Slowly she sat down and looked up at him, not wanting to speak in case he yelled at her again.
Schmidt sat down silently on the edge of the couch, crossing his legs and turning to Jess with an extremely serious expression on his face. "I'm going to ask you something and I want the truth Jess, not some on the fence lousy 'we're just good friends' or 'I don't know how I feel' answer ok?"
Jess nodded silently.
"And if you say the words 'it's complicated' I will not be held responsible for my actions." Schmidt warned.
Jess nodded again still unable to speak.
"And I will know if you're lying, I have a way of reading people. It's a gift. He said quite proud of himself. "So don't think you can even try and bullSchmidt me, capiché?"
"O-ok." Jess mumbled.
Schmidt nodded seemingly quite pleased at how intimidated she was, "Good. So…are you in love with Nick?"
And just like that Jess felt all the air in the room evaporate instantly.
