Disclaimer: Chapter 1

More weirdness. Thanks to those who've read and reviewed. Not beta'd

Chapter 4: Not thinking about it

Man… I have been ripped off in the worst way. How the hell did I draw the helicopter ride?

Not cool.

Me and loop-dee-loops are not copasetic by any stretch of the imagination. And I'm pretty sure this pilot got his license out of a Cracker Jack box.

I blame my parents. They never let me go on rides as a kid or a teenager, so I never built up a tolerance to the sensation of being up in the air. Talk about sheltered; my whole goddamn life was like living in a plastic bubble…

Seriously. It's their fault.

Maybe someone should have put Sara in a plastic bubble. Then we wouldn't have to be out here.

Wait...

I wasn't going to think about that until I absolutely had to...

As I was saying, I would much rather be racing around in the Denalis than up here bouncing through the air.

See, I'm of the belief that people absolutely weren't mean to fly. And not just because my mother used to say so, even though she did. But ergonomically – and physically we simply weren't built to soar above the ground.

I do fly though - when I have to - but I keep the HAVE TO situations to a bare minimum. And when I fly it's in a BIG PLANE, not a little scrap of metal that makes the g-force on most rollercoasters pale in comparison.

Rollercoasters… I wonder if Gris and Sara go on them together…when they go out on a date?

Damn, not thinking about that… right… okay…

Bottom line: If I can drive there, I do. And you can forget those 18 hour flights abroad… I'm happy just to stay in the good old US of A. That's why, when Grissom said helicopter ride, I almost shit myself. But I also knew, that now wasn't the time to share my fear of flying with him, so I kept my mouth shut.

Good thing I haven't eaten in 24 hours.

Being up here does give you perspective though. That is - when I can open my eyes without getting nauseous. It's amazing how huge the Nevada desert is. It's just a carpet of white clumpy sand, with one patch being indistinguishable from the next. I have no idea how we're going to find her.

Not thinking about that…

Yeah right – like that's working!

God… How are we going to find her? I know the tow truck driver gave us directions but out here it's easy to lose your bearings. One cactus looks the same as the other, just as each outcropping can be mistaken for the last. What if he gave us the wrong location? What if he didn't know what he was talking about…?

What if, WHAT IF, WHAT FUCKING IF!

This all seems so hopeless.

I don't know what I'm going to do if we don't find her or if we find her and she's….

Not going there.

Gris is a mess. Not that he's showing it. But I can see it in his eyes. Every once in a while I'll steal a look at him when he thinks no one is watching, and he seems so lost. I can even begin to know how he feels. The fear of losing someone you love must be overwhelming. I wouldn't know. I don't think I've ever been in love.

He said he loves her. Wow… I mean, yeah, just wow. I can't believe he said that - in front of all of us.

It hurts a little. It's not like I didn't know that I never had a chance with her, but a guy can dream can't he? Besides, that's not really where the hurt is coming from. Mostly I just wonder why she didn't tell me. She's my best friend, and mentor and I just think something this big she should have shared with me. Not that she shared it with anyone else either…

God, if I could have just five minutes with that crazy Natalie bitch, I'd make her talk. Screw protocol and policy.

"Hey buddy… they found the car." I can barely hear my own voice above the noise of the propellers. "Set in down gently."

I can feel the adrenaline racing through my veins as we dip and then drop onto the parched desert floor.

We're going to find her… alive…

Sara won't give up without a fight.

She's a survivor.

TBC