Jill felt lonely & trapped. She'd lost such a great deal in a short space of time; all of it too much for her to take in. Originally she'd felt confused about having another baby but now she hated herself. Of course, deep down, she'd wanted that baby more than anything and now she had lost not only that chance but also any other chances that could have been. And the one thought that kept going through her mind was that Gordon wouldn't want her now, why would he? She couldn't give him anymore children, something he wanted more than anything. Everything was such a mess. Jill just wanted to go back to the day it all happened; tell Gordon the good news that they were expecting another baby together. Somehow she felt that if she had of told him then none of this would have happened; nonsense of course. All Jill wanted was for Gordon to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay. She wanted to cry into his chest whilst he sat with her and grieve for what they'd lost together but she couldn't. She was sure he'd never want to come near her again, let alone comfort her.

Gordon was lost. Before that awful day he thought he knew where life was taking him along with his wife & children. He had foolishly assumed that at some point in the near future they would add to their already amazing brood with a sibling for their three children. How wrong could he have been? He should be thankful that their children were healthy but it didn't stop him from feeling bereft for the child they'd lost. Of course Gordon knew that Jill would be feeling a lot worse than him; physically and mentally. She'd not only had a miscarriage but also major surgery as well as losing the chance of anymore children. In reality he just wanted to hold her close to him whilst she cried, reassuring her that they'd get through this together but he didn't think it was wise. To him it seemed that she just wanted to be alone and left to grieve alone, much to his disappointment. As much as he needed her he wanted to be there for her but felt helpless.

Their loss had affected them more than either had ever imagined. They felt cut off from the world and empty, but worst of all they didn't know how to act with each other. Each wanted the other to open up to them & they both wanted to grieve together but neither knew how the other felt. Surely things could only improve? Would they ever be able to move forward from those tragic set events? Time would tell.