Part Four -

"They cast you out."

When Zim came to school the next day, he looked pale. Dib watched his movements carefully, in case they gave something away. Zim moved like his entire body was stiff, or sore; he sank slowly into his chair, and Dib realized at once what it was; Zim was tired. He didn't look it at first glance, because his caution made him careful, but his eyes gave him away.

The alien slid his arms onto his desk, folding them tightly to make a pillow of sorts, and laid his head down. He sighed, and Dib suddenly felt very small. How long has he been this tired? Dib thought furiously, turning his gaze forward so no one else got suspicious. Do Irkens even need sleep? He resolved to ask Zim at lunch, and doodled to distract himself before he imploded.

When Dib walked into the food court later that day, he immediately found Zim half-asleep at a table outside; he found this odd. Normally Zim "ate" inside. He didn't bother buying food that he wasn't going to eat and instead made his way to Zim, sliding onto the opposite bench to sit in front of him.

"Zim," he said firmly, folding his arms on the table. "Oy, look at me."

Zim scowled, and raised stunning purple eyes to Dib's gold ones. "You don't command me," he growled softly, none of the usual enthusiasm in his voice.

Rather than touch that subject, Dib said, "Why are you out here? You never eat outside."

Zim looked around him for a moment, almost as if he was surprised to find himself outdoors. Then he said, "I'm tired of looking at walls." He glanced over Dib's shoulder without moving, eyes weary. "I'm tired of looking at dirty streets, and empty buildings, and abandoned cats. I'm tired of all the mindless noise." He put his head down in his arms again, looking small. "I can't stand the noise."

"Zim?" Dib was concerned now. He risked a glance at Zim's tray; the alien hadn't even bothered trying to keep up the appearance of eating, had only grabbed a few items at random from the look of it.

"I'm tired of Earth," came the muffled voice. Zim fingers rubbed at his arms, as though warming them. "I hate Earth. I just want to go home."

Dib was shocked at his words; Zim had never come close to considering even mentioning the thought of abandoning his goal of conquest. He always put on a stubborn front, and demanded compliance with his Tallests' orders, whatever they were. The last conversation Zim had had with his Tallest, though--one of the few Dib had been present for--was a rather brusque one. The Tallest were the ones doing most of the talking, Zim answering them only when asked a direct question, and even then in a slightly detached way.

And the human had also not given a thought to the rest of Zim's situation; cast out of the world he knew, to live in--from an alien's perspective--an insane and rundown little Earth, with no allies, family or friends but a dysfunctional little android....Dib would have been lost, but somehow Zim had managed to throw down roots and survive.

He didn't know what to say--but at that moment the bell rang. "Time to go to class," Dib said, standing; he watched Zim sigh and pick himself up. He started away without a word, leaving Dib staring after him, wondering just what exactly was happening with the world's

---

As the school's final bell rang, the children ran out into the lawn; someone had brought a boom box, and was playing an upbeat hiphop song, one that had everyone dancing along. Dib found himself swaying a bit to the beat, and then caught himself looking for Zim.

Zim was watching with something akin to amusment, though he didn't join in. Nothing about him gave any indication that he liked the music everyone else loved, and after a moment, he put his hands in his pockets and started away.

Frowning, Dib memorized a few words of the song so he could look it up later, and started after the alien. When he'd reached him, Zim spared him a glance. "Why don't you stay?" the Invader questioned him. "You seemed to enjoy the music."

Got me there. "I can just download it when I get home."

Zim frowned. "But wouldn't it be more fun for you to dance here, with everyone else?"

Dib almost laughed, but caught himself at the absolute geniune question in Zim's eyes. "Well...Zim, they hate me." He was matter-of-fact about it, because it was something he'd gotten used to years ago, but the surprise evident in Zim's expression caught him off-guard. "They've hated me since grade school."

"Why?"

"...I'm different from them, Zim." Dib was lost; he'd never had to explain this to anyone before. "When you're different, you don't fit in." Zim watched him for a moment, eyes calculative. Then he transferred his gaze to the crowd in front of the school. Something was frightening about his eyes then.

"On Irk," Zim said suddenly, carefully, "everyone is the same. They think more or less the same as well, because of these." He tilted his head back a bit, indicating his PAK. "Of course, there are always a few odd ones, like myself; but for the most part no one is different. So to some extent, no one's excluded from anything just because of who they are." Here he struggled to find the right words. "I find it strange that humans cast one of their own out for thinking a little differently."

"They cast you out," Dib retorted, feeling strange.

Zim's gaze met his squarely. "I'm not one of them. It's to be expected."

---

As they were walking, Dib was aware of the stares. People, girls mostly, were watching them with the oddest expressions; Dib frowned, and glanced at Zim to see if he'd noticed--and realized that he was the one everyone was staring at. He walked with a feline grace, his lanky form slender and lithe; his skin was flawless, the lightest, palest green--it had changed a lot over the course of a few years on Earth--Dib wondered if maybe it had to do with the planet's sun. And then, of course, his eyes; while not quite as impressive as the scarlet that lay hidden behind the purple contacts, his eyes were fathomless and clear. His self in general screamed of confidence and self-surence--like nothing and no one could ever touch him.

It's intimidating, walking beside him. Dib averted his eyes.

"Here." Dib glanced up at the alien's abrupt stop, and found himself in front of a little smoothie cafe he hadn't known existed before. In contrast to the dark and dirty buildings on either side of it, it was well-kept and clean, the windows gleaming in the afternoon sun. Zim started in at once, leaving Dib to follow him with much confusion.

A woman was cleaning the counter, and glanced up when they walked in. "Zim?" She smiled warmly. "It's so good to see you! You haven't been in in days."

"Yeah," Zim shrugged, "I've been busy. This is Dib Membrane." He gestured back at the human; at the question in the woman's eyes, he continued, "He's a friend from school, the one I told you about." The lies rolled easily off his tongue; Dib said nothing.

"It's very nice to meet you," the lady said, reaching over the counter to shake his hand as Zim wandered away. He was startled at her warmth to a person she'd only just met, and took her hand mutely. "I'm Mrs. Anne Rapier, but I hope you'll call me Anne."

Dib froze; "Rapier?" he questioned softly. "Um...Do you know Tom Rapier?"

"Of course," she laughed, "he's my husband. He'll be getting out of the hospital soon. He told me you went to visit him, and I can't tell you how grateful I am."

"Anne," Zim called from the far side of the counter. "I haven't tried this one yet." He pointed at a picture of a strawberry fruit smoothie on the laminated menu, and glanced up at her expectantly. Five minutes later found him sipping his smoothie at the counter while Anne and Dib discussed random things of little importance; Dib mused over how easy it was to talk to both Tom and Anne, and how amazing it was that the two had found each other in this drab little world.

When they were ready to leave, and Anne asked Zim how his drink was, he replied, "Best so far," and let it go at that, both a compliment and a farewell, because he turned and left without another word. Dib blinked, but Anne didn't seem surprised. "He's a good kid," she confided in Dib. "Just a little rough around the edges. I'm glad to have met you; I've been worried for awhile, when he kept coming in alone." Dib was silent for a second, then thanked her and trotted after the green Irken.

"I never knew you liked smoothies," Dib told him, folding his arms. "That's so human of you."

Zim smirked at him as they exited the shop. "It's hard pretending sometimes," he retorted, and then frowned at his empty cup. He tossed it into a recycling bin on their way past it, and at Dib's raised eyebrow said, "Your planet needs all the help it can get."

"Zim, how did you know about Tom's wife?"

"I may be a worthless Invader, but I am a trained one." He pretended not to notice Dib's widening eyes at his words. "I have my ways of gathering information. Of course I did research on the person whose life I helped preserve. Someone needed to contact his family, and your...hospitals are incredibly worthless."

Dib had to agree; anything ran by adults was completely unreliable. But Zim's words shocked him--stunned him, really. What happened to that irritating pride? That contempt for anything un-Irk, and the self-indulgence that made up half the reason Dib had wanted him gone?

"How did you know he had family?"

"Everyone on this planet has family. You earthlings breed like gutter rats."

---

Dib found himself following Zim up the walk and into the Base again, and Zim didn't protest; or maybe he just didn't really notice the oddity. He seemed detached, zoned out to a whole other plane. G.I.R. greeted them enthusiastically, attaching himself to his master's leg. Zim patted his head absently and told him to go play with the "gutter rat" while he contacted the Tallest.

Great, Dib thought, scowling. Another friendly name. But soon G.I.R. was bringing him all kinds of toys, and he was immersed in playing with the android, if only to keep it calm. He kept an eye on Zim, though, who was talking quietly with his world's leaders.

"No, my Tallest," he would say. "Yes, my Tallest." "I'll check, my Tallest." His replies were short and respectful. And then one of the aliens on the screen would say something off-handedly, probably with no intention of envoking any kind of specific reaction, and Zim would stiffen. Everything about him would change in that moment, until suddenly Dib felt like he was in the home of a hostile alien invader, come to harvest the planet; it was a scary feeling, one he'd never expected to feel from Zim, of all people. And then Zim would relax and says, "Perhaps." His Tallest noticed nothing.

When Zim turned off the monitor, he stood for a moment facing the wall. G.I.R. stood and walked slowly to him, putting his paws on Zim's front and staring up at him with those huge round eyes. "Master's sad?"

"Of course not! The Almighty Zim would never be sad," and he said it with an impossibly huge and self-satisfied smirk, which made G.I.R. giggle shrilly and bounce off somewhere. Zim's smile faded when G.I.R. was out of sight, and he sighed quietly. Looking at Dib, he said, "Did you hear much of that?"

"No, just your half of the conversation..."

"Oh. Good. Be gone with you, I've got work to do." Zim dismissed him with a wave of his hand, and turned to the kitchen, obviously to head down to the lab.

"Er..." Dib hesitated at the door. "You seemed tired today."

Zim turned to look at him, eyes fathomless and searching. Then he turned away and scoffed, "Nonsense."

As Dib walked down the path (why were the gnomes still deactivated?) he thought about Zim's cryptic behavior. What was going on? Zim seemed no less certain of himself, but something had definitely changed. He was less proud--hardly proud--and less motivated. He was tired of Earth (and who wouldn't be) but the way he'd said it back then--"I just want to go home"--it was with a heavy, bitter denial. Even if he should get the chance to, there was something keeping him here, and that made him unhappy.

For an alien to be tied down to a planet it was sent to invade, something was off.

---

Dib was trying to think of a tactful way to interrogate the alien; it came in the form of Zim himself, the next day at school. He had a bandage on the right side of his face, from under his eye to the bottom of his face. He seemed every bit as disinterested in the world around him as he did yesterday, and he gave off a constant "don't-talk-to-me vibe" that had kids keeping their distance, so he was left alone about it--until lunch, of course, when Dib finally got the chance to ask his questions. Zim seemed to have braced himself for it, though, and was waiting for him to arrive at his table.

"What happened to your face?" Dib asked bluntly, pointing to the bandage.

"Most humans start with a hello," Zim replied, but continued before Dib could comment on that. "I had a mishappening."

"Oh?" Dib raised one eyebrow.

"Yes. Why am I explaining myself to you, little dirt-monkey?" His smirk was familiar, and Dib was surprised that he missed it.

"Zim, yesterday--you said you wanted to go home, and--"

Zim's grin faded, and he said quietly, "Yesterday was yesterday."

"Could you answer at least one of my questions?"

"I could."

"....Will you?"

"It depends."

"On what?"

"The question, of course."

Of course. "What kind of mishappening was it?"

Zim leaned back in his chair, thinking. About what to say or how to explain it, Dib was unsure; he hoped it was the latter--he didn't want to be lied to anymore. Finally, the Irken said, "Oftentims, experimentation with alien substances can be hazardous if one does not know their properties."

"So you were testing stuff?"

"Sure."

Dib wanted to ask more about it, but at the same time didn't want to press his luck. Zim seemed agreeable today, and Dib didn't want to mess anything up. Still..."You're okay, then," he couldn't help but press.

Zim smirked lazily. "I'll survive."

For some reason, Dib didn't believe him. He said nothing else, though, and walked around the table to sit down next to him. Zim pushed his tray of food over to him; "Mortals need such nutrients as these," were his words. Zim was being kind today, in his own way; Dib didn't know why, and that scared him. Nevertheless, he picked up a bag of chips and pulled it open.

"Hey, Dib!" an unfamiliar and unfriendly voice called from nearby; Dib chose to ignore it, while Zim looked around. A couple basketball players were leering at them as they walked by with their trays. "Finally got yourself a lunch date, eh? Always thought you'd need a boyfriend!"

That's going just a tad bit too far, Dib thought, though his face revealed nothing. Zim watched them go, and turned to Dib in confusion. "What did they mean by that?" came his question. Dib winced, having hoped the inevitable question wouldn't come; he smiled weakly at the alien, dreading the explanation that would follow.

"It's to be expected."

Part Four - End