Chapter 4
Confusion, Confession, and Consternation
Over the next few days, the twins laid low. Suspicious though it was, it was just as well, because though they remained on their guards, Jessica and Amber had enough on their minds that they barely thought of their recently-declared war. Amber was preoccupied with scheduling an appointment to take her Apparition test, as she had only just turned seventeen, and Jessica was faced with the task of holding Quidditch tryouts for a Chaser to replace Davies.
Jessica and Amber were leaving the Great Hall one Thursday after dinner, two days before the Quidditch tryouts and Amber's Apparition test.
"I'm so nervous! What if I leave something behind? I've heard splinching really hurts."
"Talk about nervous, Amber! You just have to take a test. You like tests, remember? And you've Apparated perfectly every time. Think about me…I have to hold tryouts. I'm glad Davies is gone, but I'll admit he was a pretty good Chaser. Not only that, my first duty as Captain…what if I mess the whole thing up?"
Amber smiled reassuringly. "You'll do fine. I hope you find someone really good. After all, this is my last year. I want to be able to say we won the Quidditch Cup once while I was here."
"That's right, no pressure." Jessica teased nervously.
Amber patted her reassuringly and opened her mouth to speak, but fell silent as Lee approached them. Not sure why he was coming over, she looked around in confusion, and then realized Angelina was behind them. She gritted her teeth. For some inexplicable reason, Amber had never been fond of Angelina.
All of the sudden, two loud voices were heard, yelling, "Personae Confundus!" The hex hit Jessica and Amber, leaving no doubt as to who said it or why…unfortunately, Lee, who had been walking over to talk to Angelina, got hit with it as well. Fred and George stood quietly, waiting to see what would ensue.
Lee smiled at Jessica. "Well, it's getting late. I need to do my homework now if I want to get some rest before I have to hold tryouts."
"All right, Jessica. I need to get some rest, too, if I'm to do well on my Apparition test," Jessica replied.
The twins snickered as they saw the effects of the three-way Confundus charm.
Meanwhile, Amber had turned and was walking toward Angelina. "Oi, Angelina, got a minute? I have something to ask you."
Angelina nodded warily. "Ok…"
"Well, Fred and George are nitwits and already spilled the beans. But I was going to ask you, well, if you'd be my girl," said Amber, looking at Angelina hopefully.
Angelina snorted incredulously. "What kind of joke is this? You're not a lesbian, and even if you were, you don't even like me, Papineau. It's not funny, so bugger off," retorted Angelina, stomping off toward the Gryffindor tower.
Amber looked devastated. "But, Angelina, I've loved you for years! Don't go!" She ran off after the Gryffindor Chaser.
In a corner, Fred and George were doubled over with laughter.
Fred giggled, "Did you see Amber? She bloody asked Angelina out! She can't stand her! And Rainey thought she was going to take an Apparition test…she's the only one of the three not old enough! But poor Lee…."
George smirked in amusement. "Yeah, I feel for Lee. We should have made sure the bloody blighter was out of the way first…but it was pretty hilarious."
Fred chuckled. "Poor fellow, everyone knows he's bloody awful at Quidditch…"
The twins walked toward Gryffindor tower, laughing at Amber, who they could see was still following Angelina.
Fred suddenly stopped in his tracks. "Oh no, no, no!"
George sighed in exasperation, "What, you great lump?"
"How long did we decide to make this last?"
"Why?"
"Um, at the moment, Amber thinks she's Lee. While it's bloody hilarious she asked Angelina out, there's one small detail we've forgotten. Lee is, uh, our roommate."
"Oh no."
"That's right, oh no."
Fred and George sprinted off after Amber.
Jessica and Lee walked up to the Ravenclaw Tower arm-in-arm, chatting happily about Quidditch. They arrived at the bronze, eagle-shaped door knocker.
Lee commented to Jessica, "Oh, I've forgotten how to get in. Sorry, Amber."
"It's okay--I am the prefect. I never forget how to get in," Jessica said, reaching up and knocking pompously.
Then came the question: "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"
Jessica just nodded thoughtfully. "I think that tastes, odors, colors, and so on are no more than mere names so far as the object in which we locate them are concerned, and that they reside in consciousness. Hence if the living creature were removed, all these qualities would be wiped away and annihilated."
Lee looked at Jessica in bewilderment. She turned to him and said simply, "Galileo." He shrugged and walked in.
When they arrived at the steps to the Girls' Tower, they began to ascend. They hadn't gone up two steps when Lee suddenly slid down.
Jessica stared at him. "I don't understand. It only does that to guys. Ha, Jessica, do you remember when Poliakoff tried to come up the stairs with me?"
Lee scratched his head. "Funny, I don't remember that. But I don't understand either. Well, clearly they're not going to let me go up to the stairs tonight. I'll just sleep on the couch here in the Common Room. Oh, Amber, would you mind bringing me down some clothes in the morning?"
"Sure. Rotten luck, Jessica. Sorry."
Lee curled up on the couch and promptly fell asleep.
Fred and George finally caught up with Amber at the Fat Lady's portrait.
"Oh, Fred and George! I seem to have forgotten the password, mates," Amber said to the twins.
"Mimbulus mimbletonia," said the twins in unison, exchanging a worried look. The portrait opened. When all three of them went in, Amber looked around. Seeing that Angelina was nowhere to be found, she sighed desolately.
"I guess I'll talk to Angelina in the morning. But I though for sure she fancied me," said Amber sadly.
George tried to conceal a smile. "Rotten luck, mate. We thought so, too. Give it another go tomorrow."
Fred whispered, "It should have worn off by then, right?"
"Yeah, it'll wear off sometime tomorrow," George whispered back. Turning to Amber, he said, "Well, mate, why don't you take a nap. The couch looks unoccupied."
Amber looked at him questioningly. "Why would I want to sleep out here? It's bloody noisy. I'm going to sleep in my own bed."
Fred choked suddenly as Amber started heading up the Boys' stairwell. She kept going until she reached the door with the words "Seventh Years" emblazoned on it. George patted his brother on the back and followed the blonde girl up the stairs.
Amber opened the door and stepped into the room. "It's a good deal messier than I thought. I can clean up a bit before going to bed."
Kenneth Towler opened the curtains around his bed and gaped, open-mouthed, at his friend. "Amber, what in the world are you doing with these apes? What are you doing here, anyway?"
Amber looked at him in confusion. "What are you going on about, Ken? It's me, Lee. Get your eyes checked, you daft buffoon."
Kenneth turned to the twins and glared accusingly. "What have you done to her?"
Fred and George exchanged looks, wordlessly agreeing that honesty was the best policy in this situation. After all, as one of Amber's fellow prefects, Kenneth was her friend and likely wouldn't do anything to get her in trouble.
Fred began, "Well, you see, it's a bit complicated. We were getting a little revenge for that stunt of hers and Jessica's--"
"--and we came up with this wonderful charm that mixes people up with someone else--"
"--and Lee just happened to get in the way. So, now, Lee thinks he's Jessica--"
"--Jessica thinks she's Amber, and Amber thinks she's Lee." George nodded his head toward Amber, who was looking at them with a look of utter puzzlement.
"Honestly, I have no idea what you all are going on about. I'm going to bed." Amber turned and began to take off her shirt, but was cut off by three loud yells. She turned back to them. "Really, what's wrong?"
Trying to avert his eyes, Fred ground out, "Just--just go change in the bathroom, Am--uh, Lee."
"What, shy all of the sudden, Gred?"
George interrupted, hand over his eyes, "No, Lee, all he means is that none of us are too excited about seeing your chest hair."
"You all are just jealous," said Amber, as she stepped into the bathroom. Kenneth, whose eyes were tightly shut, helpfully handed her an oversized shirt and a clean pair of boxers as she crossed the room. She scooped them up and walked in.
Stepping out a couple minutes later, clad now in a baggy shirt and boxer shorts that were several sizes too large, she said, "Good Godric, looks like I've lost a bit of weight. Anyway, good night, you old duffers." She threw herself onto Lee's bed and promptly fell asleep.
Kenneth sat on his bed in silence. He was in a quandary. On one hand, this was the perfect chance to get Fred and George in trouble--revenge for all the pranks they had played on him. But on the other hand, Amber was his friend. Telling McGonagall about Fred and George would get Amber in trouble not only for being in the guys' dorm, but for the prank she and Jessica had played. Across the room, Fred and George were both looking at him pleadingly.
"We swear, Ken, if you promise not to tell anyone, we'll never play another prank on you as long as we live," begged Fred.
"Really, we promise."
After a few more minutes of tortuous silence, Kenneth finally spoke, "All right. I won't tell. But if you ever do anything like this again, you'll regret it to your dying day."
The twins gave a sigh of relief.
"Well, I'm off to bed, lads," said George. The others agreed and were all in bed soon. Fred crept over to Lee's bed and looked down at the girl who was sleeping peacefully. He smiled and walked back to his own bed and was soon in a deep, dreamless sleep.
Lee awoke with a start. He realized two things very quickly. First of all, he was freezing. Secondly, he was not in his bed, but on a couch in a room tastefully decorated in blue and bronze. Then he remembered the events of the night before, and fell to the floor loudly.
"Oh no. Oh no. Oh no, no, no. What am I going to do?" With that, Lee hurriedly ran out of what he realized was the Ravenclaw Common Room.
Several minutes later, Jessica came down the stairs, wearing a pair of pretty, feminine, sequined shoes. She was wearing a matching necklace and a pink bracelet, and had tastefully applied glamour charms to her face and hair. Her school robes were over one arm. Looking at the couch, she called out, "Jessica, where are you? Oh well, I guess she's already gone ahead to breakfast. I'll head on down, too."
With that, she stepped out and headed toward the Great Hall.
Amber stretched, surprised to be awake before her alarm had gone off. Then she realized she was in a bed that was not her own. Also, the room smelled odd and was decorated in red and gold. The memory of the previous evening sank in and she shrieked. Loudly.
"What on earth? Shut--" Fred silenced himself when he realized the piercing noise that had woken him was from a female. He groaned when he saw that it was Amber, who was now apparently very aware that she was not Lee.
By this time, George and Kenneth were awake, as well. Kenneth idly noted that Durham wasn't there and must have stayed out all night with his Hufflepuff girlfriend. All three males in the room simply stared at Amber as she continued to shriek.
"I can't believe it. I'm going to be in so much trouble," Amber moaned. Suddenly, she became aware of the three boys staring at her. She glared at Fred and George. "No, YOU two are in so much trouble. I hate you both! You'll be lucky if you get out of this with your scalps still attached--" Amber cut off suddenly. She had stood rather quickly, and now looked down, realizing she was wearing a t-shirt with nothing underneath and boxers several sizes too big. She blushed.
Fred and George blushed, too, but remained silent. Kenneth simply pointed to the bathroom, where she had evidently left her clothes the evening before. She ran into it and slammed the door behind her. Fred, George, and Kenneth all dressed hurriedly. The twins ran out the door, nearly tripping over their feet in their rush.
Kenneth had just finished tying his shoe as Amber stepped out of the bathroom. He smiled weakly at her. "Good morning."
She sighed. "For Godric's sake. I can't believe I slept here. And I asked Angelina out. Crap. I didn't check curfew last night! And I don't have my school robes."
Kenneth looked at her sympathetically. "I have an extra pair. You can borrow mine until you have a chance to go back up to your dorm for yours. And I'm dreadfully sorry about all this."
"It's all right. It's not your fault. Oh--poor Jessica and poor Lee! I have to go check on them."
She ran downstairs, paying no heed to the curious eyes watching her as she ran out of Gryffindor tower.
Rushing past her as she left, Lee ran straight into Fred and George and all three ended up in a heap. After disentangling themselves, Lee hurriedly spoke to them, "Am I in trouble? I slept in the Ravenclaw Common Room. And Jessica and Amber…oh, no! Amber asked Angelina out! Am I that obvious? Even a Ravenclaw who barely knows me knows that I like the girl…" He slapped himself on the forehead.
Angelina walked past at that moment. She looked at him with a pained expression, glared at Fred and George, and ran into the Great Hall.
"What in the world is going on?" Lee demanded.
Alicia Spinnet stopped, a sympathetic light in her eyes. "I'm not really sure. But everyone's saying you're dating Jessica, the Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain. I heard from Marietta Edgecombe that you two walked up to the Ravenclaw tower holding hands. And Angelina really likes you. That's why she's so upset."
Lee looked up. "She does?" He grinned. "That's amazing!" His face fell. "But…argh! I'm not dating Jessica. I thought I was Jessica, Merlin take it. I thought Jessica was Amber. And our arms were linked--we were not holding hands!" Suddenly, a thought occurred to Lee, and he turned to the twins, growling, "This is all your fault!"
With that he began to chase them, while they called out behind them, "We swear, Lee, we didn't mean for you to get hexed, too! We promise!"
Alicia merely looked at them in amusement as they ran off. She turned upon seeing Kenneth Towler and Amber Papineau. She blushed and gave a quiet, "Good morning." Amber asked the friendly Gryffindor, "What on earth is going on? Is Jessica all right?"
"I have no idea. I haven't made it into the Hall yet. I am assuming, though, that Fred and George have something to do with this, considering how Lee was yelling at them. Oh, Amber…I think I should warn you…everyone is saying you're…um…you're bisexual now…" She looked down as if she were afraid Amber would shoot the messenger.
Amber rubbed her forehead tiredly. "Good Godric. What am I going to do?"
At that moment, the Great Hall emptied. Everyone whispered as they passed the now silent trio standing right outside the door. Jessica emerged, arguing fiercely with Bradley and Chambers.
"I'm not Jessica, screw you! I'm Amber. The prefect, you know? You've known me since first year, you idiots!"
Amber simply sighed and walked up to her friend. She smacked Jessica on the side of her head. Jessica looked dazed for a moment, but then her eyes cleared.
"What the heck? I don't….oh, no. Hello, Amber. Sorry, mates." Jessica sighed.
The bell rang, signaling it was time for class. The six split and went their separate ways.
Amber dragged herself to lunch. Classes had been awful; everyone had been whispering about her, except for everyone in Ravenclaw. They had all been sympathetic, while her Hufflepuff and Slytherin classmates had smirked at the sight of her. She was at a loss about what she could do. Suddenly, she had an idea. She reached over and tapped Chambers on the shoulder.
She whispered, "Oi, Chambers, I have a favor to ask. Don't forget, you still owe me from that time you and Bradley got drunk in Hogsmeade last year…"
Chambers looked at her suspiciously, but whispered back, "What?"
Amber looked around, embarrassed. "Um, during lunch, would you mind if I suddenly…snogged you? I think it would quell a few rumors…"
"For Godric's sake, Amber, why me? Why not Bradley?"
"What, do you have something against kissing me? No, really, it's because you aren't dating anyone and Bradley is, Chambers. And remember…"
"Yeah, I owe you, I know. And I'd make out with you any day," he said, winking goofily at her.
She rolled her eyes and they walked into the Great Hall together. They made their way to the Ravenclaw table, where Jessica was already sitting, talking to Bradley.
"Amber, have you heard all they're saying about us? Good Godric, I don't even know where to start. I mean, I even checked curfew last night!"
"How do you think I feel? I slept in a smelly guys' dorm and now everyone's saying I'm a lesbian."
Chambers winked at her, then said, "Aww, honey, I know you're not." With that, he leaned over and captured her lips. She put her arms around his neck while he slipped his tongue into her mouth. The entire Great Hall watched with open mouth as Amber and Chambers snogged blissfully. They broke apart, breathing heavily. Jessica gagged.
"Wow," Chambers said, breathlessly.
Amber whispered into his ear, "Don't get used to it."
The Ravenclaw Quidditch team, aware of what was happening, laughed. Everyone else continued to gape, even Fred and George.
"See, I told you she wasn't a lesbian, or even bisexual. She couldn't possibly be interested in a guy like Chambers if she was interested in girls--I mean, Angelina's hot," noted one astute Slytherin. Before lunch was over, most of the Great Hall had come to similar conclusions, spurred on by the rumors flying around.
Jessica sighed. "Well, Amber, you may have solved your problem. But, please, never make out with anyone in front of me again. Hey, maybe I should make out with someone so they'll stop saying I'm dating Lee."
Amber smirked at her friend. "Don't worry, I won't be making out with Chambers--or anyone else--for all of Hogwarts to see again. Besides, don't worry about Lee--I'm sure he'll get things straightened out with Angelina. Then everyone will know who he's dating."
Jessica nodded and then raised her voice, "Oi! Ravenclaw Quidditch team! Don't forget, tryouts are tomorrow morning at nine! Be there or I'll personally hunt you down. I know where each and every one of you sleeps!"
"Oh, Jessica, nice shoes," said Bradley, smirking at her.
"Yeah, you look...girly, for once," said the Ravenclaw Keeper, O'Bannon, appreciatively.
"Ah! I'm wearing your stuff, Amber! It's….pink!" tomboyish Jessica said, grimacing.
"Yes, it's pink. Get over it. Well, I'm off to the library to study until my class at two. Laters!"
"Want me to carry your books for you, sweetheart?" Chambers said, offering his arm. Amber smacked him on aforementioned appendage and walked off.
That evening, as the twins arrived at their common room, congratulating themselves for their brilliant prank on the girls, they were met with opposition that they didn't expect.
"What in the world are you two playing at?" shouted a furiously animated blur of red hair and freckles. Undoubtedly, their meek, hesitant younger brother Ron was the last person they expected to get on their case about the pranks, but here he was, screaming at them.
"Ickle Ronniekins, what are you talking about? We didn't do anything to Granger or Harry. Just relax," George said in a superior tone of voice.
Ron's faced reddened even more, if that was at all possible. "Why the bloody heck did you have to make Amber go up to your room? You embarrassed her!"
"Aw, George, isn't he cute? Ickle Ronniekins is in love…I never thought I'd see the day."
