The Year and Two Days

AC195

When Epyon fell he thought…I cannot tell the princess who slays dragons that it will be all right.

It was a ridiculous notion even for one who once proclaimed himself prince of all the stars, except that she adored the stars…and the dragon was dying. If he left now, he would never know if it was truly dead. Dragons were brilliant, possessive creatures. One could not easily steal from a dragon. She had, unknowingly, taken what it wanted most of all.

Epyon thought it could take his fractured heart and use it to its advantage. The corrupted Zero System would fight forever given a chance. Epyon leaped at the opportunity to torment its conflicted pilot…but it was only a machine. And it made a fatal mistake. It tried to fight the princess. It did not know that Her Grace the Duchess of Rome understood everything better than Epyon. Zero was nothing to her. Lucrezia saw the result of this battle long before Zero was ever built. Death, followed by rebirth; a fate none of them could escape.

The dragon identified her as a threat. It was right to do so. Somewhere in the minutes that followed, Zechs Merquise remembered why. Lucrezia of Rome was not afraid of Zero or Epyon or its damaged pilot because she knew them all. And she knew their fates. Therefore, Zechs hadn't a prayer of warning her off. She ignored his pleas, his angry orders for her to leave. In those final horrible minutes he actually wanted to hurt her for ignoring him. With such a battle sense, she ought to know she was in danger! Why won't you go? Why?

It took everything he had to fight Epyon for control. The dragon took all of Zechs's frantic pain, his worry for this girl, and lashed out to destroy her. After all, if she died, it would be that much closer to its goals. If she died, Zechs would belong to Epyon forever.

The saber missed her by a breath and he fled; forced the outraged dragon to turn and leave her behind. "Why am I still so spineless…?" he wept to the empty cockpit, the unsympathetic voice. Epyon berated him for the weakness. If he were the soldier he wanted to be, that she already was, the princess would be dead. If it were her in his place, she would have done her job. Lucrezia was so brave and amazing…and nothing owned her soul except a fallen prince of Sanc too weak to deserve it. Thoughts of her assaulted him, outraging Epyon still more. For the first time in weeks he was consumed by something else…and the dragon began to realize this fractured pilot was not what it wanted.

However she did it, in that moment Lucrezia broke Epyon's stranglehold on her prince. At the end he was able to make a choice worthy of her and let Heero live. Maybe that was why it only hurt a little when the dragon fell to Earth. And the constant barrage of Zero was silent and gone. At the end it was only the prince, thinking only of his princess…

When Epyon fell, he prayed…wait for me. Wait for me and understand…


One Week

It seemed a lifetime passed before he became aware of sound. A voice, low and quiet, gave orders. When he opened his eyes, it took as much effort as the first time he flew the Tallgeese. Lifting a hand to his face, he encountered wires and tubes threaded through his skin. Suddenly frightened, the erstwhile prince turned his head as much as possible to see the rest of the room.

It was a plain white hospital room. He lay in a bed with blue curtains around it, a plastic oxygen mask over his face. And by his side was a young man with eyes of purest blue.

"Treize…?" he tried to say, his voice breaking with hope.

"Hey…you're awake, aren't you?" said the young man, drawing near. Not Treize, but a doctor in a white coat. "Hi, I'm Rhodri."

The doctor spoke to him so easily and his pure eyes were so kind. It was not a thing he was accustomed to. Before, he was a leader, prince, hero, and a legend to be feared. Now…he had no idea what he was. Except sick, hurting everywhere, tired, disoriented, lonely…

"Don't try to move," Rhodri said. "You're safe, you are on a colony. No one knows you're here." How did the doctor know he was worried about that? "I'm glad you are awake, but I'm going to put you under again for a while. It's not quite time yet."

"Wait…" Zechs Merquise caught the doctor's arm with fingers so weak they trembled. "A question…" his voice was already failing. Never had he felt such a soul-crushing weakness.

"Yes?"

"Lucrezia…Relena…" he pleaded, desperate to get the words out before his voice gave up, he settled for only names.

Rhodri leaned close again. "Her Grace the Duchess of Rome and Queen Relena…? They are both alive and well. Rest easy," he added laying a comforting hand on Zechs's shoulder. "It's all over."

"Heero…?"

"He's fine." Rhodri adjusted the tube in Zechs's arm; dazed, the prince watched as he injected something into it. Another smile that made the corners of the doctor's eyes crinkle and the prince was falling asleep again.

Lucrezia was alive.

Lucrezia…wait for me.


Four Months

The prince was almost unable to move at all. There was a tube in his throat, more tubes in his arms where they lay on the blue blanket. It was a supreme effort just to move his fingers. To take his mind off the rush of air through the respirator, its rhythmic clicking, and the sound of the heart monitor, he concentrated solely on moving his hands…just that little bit closer to being able to stand up. Zechs could not quite understand why he couldn't just get out of bed… He used to be able to do anything…except tell Noin…

"Hey…" Hazel eyes swam into view. Doctor Ember Lee Sunwing leaned in, her chin on her palm, stethoscope dangling from her neck alongside a silver cross. Her long hair brushed his cheek. Even that merest of contact from another human hurt. "Don't try to move, okay? You don't need to."

Zechs could only stare up at her. Ember was Rhodri's wife. And something in her smile, her voice, an indefinable something reminded Zechs of Noin's calming gift. No matter how horrible he felt, one look at Lucrezia and the pain subsided. And Ember, so used to tending to patients in all stages of healing…or dying…had cultivated this gift to its utmost. If Noin were a doctor instead of a soldier, would she be like Ember? He suspected he was drawn to her because there was no one else to be drawn to. Noin…where was Noin?

To his everlasting shame, tears spilled down his face. He wasn't even strong enough to blink them away. Thankfully, Ember did not resort to empty comfort or any such nonsense. She dried the tears with a soft cloth and an even lighter touch. She smoothed his golden hair and smiled in her friendly, fearless way.

"I know it hurts…" she said gently. "I'm sorry. I wish I could help you heal faster." Then, in an even softer voice, she said, "I wish I could bring her here to you."

No…! Zechs wanted to shout. The last thing he needed was for Noin to see this…but, if she were here...he did not think he would mind too much. Noin would lay here with him on the narrow bed. She would hold him and let him rest his aching head on her shoulder. Closing his eyes did nothing to stop the tears.

"Rest, please… I'll get you through this and out of here and back to her as fast as I can. It will be faster still if you rest." Ember touched his forehead lightly through the bangs…and he was lost inside the next of his dreams, so far from wherever this was.

It was a hill lush with green summer grass. Stars rained from the sky. Zechs lay on his back, arms stretched out to the side, staring up. It was a familiar place. Tallgeese crashed here. Howard's crew dragged him off this beach. It was memorable for the all-to-fleeting moment of solitude, of peace.

A creature growled. Painfully, Zechs turned his head. A red dragon stood on the beach, claws sinking into the white sand, its long spiked tail swishing back and forth in the water. Between him and the dragon, Lucrezia stood her ground. She was in formal dress uniform, the bright saber in her hand. Zechs called out to her. His voice was frozen, body paralyzed. All he could do was watch the dragon close in. Lucrezia held her ground. When the dragon got close enough to bite her, the saber flashed. The dragon bled. Tears flowed over the prince's cold face. Movement was impossible. She ought to let it onto the beach. Let me go…

…He lay on his back on the deck of a rocking ship, among the raining stars. Sailors laughed and drank together on the deck below him. An old man with a white beard and colorful Hawaiian shirt crouched beside him, a beer bottle in his hand. "You okay, boy? You're awful quiet tonight."

Zechs did not take his eyes from the stars. He pressed the playback button on the tiny recorder in his hand, playing back the same bit of combat record he had been listening to over and over since the sun went down over the ocean. "I want to stay by his side, no matter what he does or what he searches for… Yes, I do love him."

"Peacecraft…!" Howard raised his voice. "Come on down. Have a beer with us. Forget this war bullshit for a while. You're entirely too much in your head, boy."

"Leave me alone."

I want to stay by his side, no matter what he does or what he searches for… Yes, I do love him.


Five Months…?

What if he was dying? Breathing seemed easy enough right now, but what if something happened to make it suddenly stop? Would Ember make it to his side in time? The only reason it felt easy to breathe was that a machine took care of it for him. Zechs wondered if he was left to it on his own if he would remember at all. At other times he wondered about nothing at all; he stared at the ceiling, watched the shadows cross it, morning to night, and felt numb.

What if he never got out of here?

Sleep overpowered sense. She was always in his dreams, once an echo of her brilliant self, next an apparition so real he could touch her, feel her. The dragon was also there. Every time it approached, she appeared and beat it back. Zechs slept with a thousand images of her, schoolgirl, soldier, classmate, competition, knight, partner, copilot, secret-keeper, battle planner, and, the best of the dreams, girlfriend, beloved, princess. Those were the dreams he sought refuge in.


Six Months

A voice, Ember's, came from somewhere next to his bed. Zechs was awake, but he did not open his eyes. She was no threat, Ember. When she was there, he did not worry about the space between breaths.

"I think he is doing better than expected with injuries of this type."

What type? He thought. What happened to me? Try as he might, the memory refused to surface. At least, not in the few times he was awake. Dreams were another matter. A red dragon, wet grass, a wealth of stars, Lucrezia's voice…

"I hoped he might be off life support…" Rhodri's voice drifted in and out. "I've seen much more responsive cardiac cases…"

"You're forgetting the damage we can't see." Ember's voice moved closer. What damage? What else? "Give him time. We've nothing but time…"

"Will you call her?"

"Not unless he wants me to. Besides, haven't you heard? She was named Princess Regent of the Sanc Kingdom when Princess Relena became Vice Foreign Minister."


Seven Months

It was summer in the Sanc Kingdom when he finally woke up. It was the same white room, the same blue drapes, and the same multicolored tubes to greet him. This time, Zechs was alone. When he tried to move, he found he could. Carefully, he lifted his right arm. Some of the tubes were gone. The pale skin was a riot of scars and healing cuts. What had happened? The memory was stale, slow. Epyon…

"Lucrezia," he breathed her name, struggling to sit up. To his surprise, he managed it. Zechs reached up, touched his hair. Still long, still the same… He looked at his chest. A narrow, very precise scar began at the hollow of his throat and traveled down several inches. Medical sensors littered his body. What in the…?

"Hey…" a familiar voice reached him and he looked up. A tall, caramel-haired woman with sparkling hazel eyes stood in the doorway.

"Ember..." Zechs offered a guess, though he knew he was right. Her voice was etched into his mind.

"That's right. How are you feeling?"

"I'm…better." He found it was not a lie. He could breathe and talk. That was incredibly better.

"Good to hear," his doctor smiled, stepping forward to read the monitors by his bed.

"What happened?"

Ember's smile vanished. "A lot of things have happened. What do you want to know?"

"Where is my little sister? Where is Lucrezia Noin? And how do you know anything about me?"

"You asked Rhodri about them when you arrived here. We made some calls. I have a few contacts in the Specials," she winked and added, "deep breath for me please." The cold metal of a stethoscope chilled his back. He breathed, Ember listened. Whatever she heard pleased her. She stepped away and draped the instrument around her neck and told him what she knew.


Zechs lay on his side. Free of the breathing tubes, he was finally able to sleep that way and his body was grateful for that small thing. He could not walk. He did not feel like eating. It turned out breathing and talking were the only things he was capable of doing without help. The latter exhausted him so much he only spent ten minutes talking with Ember. Mostly, he listened.

Lucrezia and Relena were safe. Relena had accepted her adopted father's job of Vice Foreign Minister. Lucrezia was keeping watch over the Sanc Kingdom. Ember said they were both popular leaders, highly praised, and…they were safe. That was the only thing Zechs cared about just then.

She was gone now, off seeing other patients. The room was empty, twilight fell on schedule. Now and then voices droned in the rooms and corridors beyond his. Someone was crying in a room nearby. The depth of loneliness threatened to drown him. It was not a new feeling. The familiarity of it tore at him.

"Can you sleep?" Zechs opened his eyes. Noin lay beside him, mimicking the position of his body, knees slightly bent, hips angled toward his, and one arm tucked under the other pillow. Her deep eyes were calm, distant, gazing at the window as if waiting for something. A dream, this was only a dream like all of the others, but it was so tempting to call it real… She did not fit any of her previous incarnations. Instead this was Noin free of the pain he inflicted on her. She was Lucrezia Noin young, innocent, and ignorant of the horrors of war. Instead of Oz finery or Sanc's purple and gold, she wore a silver dress. She was beautiful, scented deliciously of vanilla and violets, and…completely alien. Zechs suspected he conjured her for company, but would he love a Lucrezia who never saw battle? A duchess who never understood the same things he did? Part of her allure, he had to admit, was in her experience.

"Where are you my love? What are you doing right now?"

"I'm right here by your side," she whispered back. One blink and now she was splendid in her deep, dark blue coat, white cape spilling all around her and over him like protective wings. One slender hand in its silk glove touched his face. Noin smiled in her constant way and then he opened his eyes and she was gone. He touched the other pillow and thought it was warm, further proof he was losing his mind.

The lights brightened a little and Ember was back. "I thought I'd check in on you one more time. You seemed so sad when I left."

"I can't even walk, Ember. How am I supposed to help anyone, do anything, if I can't even walk?"

"You practice walking, Zechs," she said gently. "You practice until you can do it. I'll help you."

"Why help me…after all that I've done?"

"I help those who need me. It's in the oath," she winked. "Sleep well, Zechs Merquise."

Morning was different. Pain did not accompany waking, at least not the pain he was used to. Noin was in his dreams again.

Yesterday Ember told him news. Today, she sat on the foot of his bed, pretty in pink scrubs and a necklace made of white shells, and talked about what was wrong with him as matter of fact as if speaking of another patient. His heart sustained permanent damage, she replaced it. That explained why he was asleep for so long. Coma induced by medication to help him heal after the transplant and to guard against rejection. There was considerable damage to the heart muscle from a previous injury…what had he been doing to cause that? Pins and a titanium bar in his right leg made the bones set properly. The break in the left femur was not as serious and healed sufficiently without further surgical intervention. Numerous lacerations he incurred when Epyon's screens shattered were healing well. Scaring was minimal, surprisingly. Shortness of breath was a side-effect of the heart surgery. She said he had to permanently cut back on the heavy physical activity. She ordered physical therapy. Loss of muscle tone was to be expected after such a long time in bed. There was more, but he stopped hearing when she mentioned the damage to his heart.

"I know it sounds like a lot, but you'll be okay." Ember actually squeezed his foot. Zechs jumped. She did not appear to notice. "You will notice some improvement every day if you follow my advice."

It was a private hospital on the most distant colony, one sympathetic to the old soldiers of Treize. Ember did not know how Zechs got here. "I'm sorry. So many people were brought in after that battle that I didn't have time to keep track of all the ships. I think it was a Sweeper. I'll ask around." Zechs decided it was Howard's ship. Hearing it was a Sweeper brought a measure of relief. Even if Howard was not involved, the captain might mention it to him. Howard might tell Noin. Zechs knew she spent time on that ship. If she knew he was alive…

"Is there anyone I can call for you?" Ember asked again. She asked the same thing yesterday and Zechs said no. Lucrezia was not supposed to see him like this. It was far too early to say he was reborn.


Fall

Ember was angry at the prince and told him so. "You should want to fight to get better. Don't you realize how close to death you were?" She listed again all the things they fixed: heart, lungs, hands, feet, broken legs, broken arms…he was lucky it was only that! "You ought to be dead. Why can't you see that?"

"I would rather be dead," the prince said softly.

"That's not good enough," Ember snapped. "Isn't there someone who misses you?"

"No…"

"You have a little sister. What about her?"

"She hardly knows me. I made certain of that. She is better off without me."

Ember rolled her eyes. "I highly doubt it. What about the new Princess of Sanc? You asked about her specifically. Why?"

The prince smiled and looked away. For some reason, his eyes hurt. He looked at the colony sky outside his window.

Ember took his silence as confirmation of her suspicions. "Tell me."

"It is not appropriate for a person like me to discuss such things."

"Wha…?" Ember stared at him as if he'd grown wings. "What kind of person are you?"

"A dead person," he explained, still looking out, "a person who is not worthy of love…"


"Why won't you call her if you miss her so much?" Ember asked one evening.

Zechs did not answer. Lucrezia was on the news with Une. He sat up in bed, a knee bent to provide a rest for his folded arms and then his chin, transfixed by the image of his princess on the screen. His pale gold hair fell around him in a near perfect circle. Ember lay sprawled in the window seat a few feet from him, charts and paperwork spread out around her in a not so perfect shape.

Noin and Une were debating the requirements of a peacetime society with a clueless network news reporter. Une was livid. Leaning forward in her chair, she traded verbal assaults with the reporter; typical Une. She wanted an apology for the reporter's last remark about Treize. An image of the late leader of OZ flashed on the screen.

"As if anyone needs a visual aid," Ember commented.

The reporter gave up on Une and looked at Lucrezia. Zechs could not take his eyes off her, even for the fun of watching Une come unglued on international television. Lucrezia looked so…beautiful in pale blue. He was used to seeing her in that uniform. It was simply fascinating. When was the last time he saw her with earrings and makeup? Not his soldier-girl…not his Noin.

She smiled, feigning interest. Zechs could easily tell she was bored out of her mind. She tucked back some black hair, agreed with Lady Une, and pointed out a flaw in the reporter's reasoning that neatly silenced him. Smart Noin…

The reporter stared at her a moment and switched targets. "Miss Noin, you have served as Princess Regent of the Sanc Kingdom since early this year. Why do you persist in this when even Princess Relena takes little interest in her homeland?"

"Forgive me, but Princess Relena is very interested in Sanc. Her duties as Vice Foreign Minister keep her busy."

"Is it true you believe Milliard Peacecraft is still alive?"

"Prince Milliard Peacecraft," she corrected. "And you know as well as I do that Epyon was never recovered."

"Disintegrated, perhaps…?"

"Perhaps…" Lucrezia lifted her chin in her best proud smile. "Yes, it is possible, but I find it difficult to believe."

Zechs smiled at the screen. How like her to hold out hope even when the situation called for none at all. Ember snickered from the window and made kissy faces at him. Zechs continued to ignore her. He found it was the only way to contend with the doctor sometimes. For example, he had not invited her to stay; she just showed up in his room after dinner with her paperwork and appropriated the window seat for an office. Since it was her hospital, it was rather difficult to ask her to leave. Why she persisted in hanging around him was confusing. Not only that, Ember did not seem to care who he was. No matter how angry he got, she shrugged it off. Rhodri tried to help by distracting her elsewhere; she had other patients. Ember said Zechs was the worst patient she ever had.

"You didn't answer my question," she said when the interview was over. "Why don't you call her?"

"It would be inappropriate at this time."

"What the heck does that mean?"

"Has it occurred to you I don't want to answer? This is not the first time you brought it up."

"That's because you go all fuzzy and swoon whenever her name comes up."

Zechs had no idea what to do with that supposed observation, although she wasn't the first person to point that out. Treize used to tease him mercilessly. "Ember, that is not true."

"Do you write her love poems? I've seen you scribbling in that little notebook at night."

"Ember...!"

"Look, all I am saying is, if I was lost someplace away from Rhodri, I would do anything to let him know I was all right."

Zechs sighed. She was never going to give it up. Since Ember and Rhodri were his only visitors, he would probably be hearing about it until the day he walked out of here. "Ember, it is very simple. Why should I call her to my side only to sit and watch you complain about my progress? Relena needs her. Une needs her, too… Lucrezia has so much more to lose than I do. Even if I did, it would be right for her to refuse to come..."

"That's sweet, Zechs…and such crap."

There was no elegant reply to that, so he merely regarded her disapprovingly. Ember crossed her eyes at him before stating. "The problem with you is OZ."

"What do you know about OZ?" he snapped.

"I know all about OZ. I told you we were flight surgeons."

"Yes…wait, you mean, with OZ?"

"I thought you were supposed to be quick."

"I…had no idea. You don't act like it."

"How am I supposed to be?"

"To begin with, you would not ask so many personal questions."

Ember snickered. "Yeah, well, the problem is I'm a mobile suit pilot and a doctor. The doctor doesn't always get along with the elegant soldier. Doctors have to ask the hard questions."

"So what is the problem with OZ?"

"The whole elegant soldier thing," she explained. "Courtly love, pretty manners, hiding your heart in favor of presenting a certain image, not to mention those sadistic boots and the saber getting in my way when I tried to treat patients… You knew Treize pretty well, right? What was he thinking?"

A phenomenally loaded question… "Well, I…"

"I mean, it took me forty minutes and three extra people to help just to get dressed in the morning."

Zechs caught himself smiling sympathetically. "I could never get the ascot straight," he admitted and before thinking added, "Noin could."

Ember smiled back at him. "See, you think about her constantly."

"Weren't we talking about uniforms?"

"We were talking about OZ."

"Treize wanted us to be different from the Alliance…from anything that came before."

"Right…so we had to wear our band uniforms to work and never say what we mean."

"Ember…" Zechs looked away from her and back at the screen. Now they were talking about the latest fashions in Europe. Apparently, Relena was quite the trend setter. Ridiculous, considering what his little sister had gone through, that the ESUN insisted on discussing her choice of hair style. He scratched the back of his neck, feeling the weight of his blonde mane. They used to say that about him, how daring he was to look the way he did. How little they knew.

"Ember, if you knew there was a dangerous thing only you could do, would you want Rhodri near you?"

"Of course I wouldn't want him with me. I understand why you did what you did then. What I don't get is what you are doing now." She got up and collected her charts. "I'd at least want to know where Rhodri was. If you were the one waiting on Earth, knowing she was lost, what would you want her to do?"

"I guess I would trust her to do what was best. I always have." Zechs said even as his new heart gave a painful wrench at the thought of Lucrezia disappearing. Ember was using his role reversal tactic against him. If he were on Earth and Lucrezia missing in space and presumed dead, what would keep him from searching day and night for her?

"Ember, I can't explain it to you," he said softly. "This is mine. Everything from before was…a disguise I made up to get close to the people that mattered at the time. It wasn't really me. Allowing her into my life would have been a disaster. My enemies would not hesitate to press such an advantage. I can do even worse. Simple association with me was dangerous

"I have very little of my own except her. The last thing I ever wanted was for Lucrezia to be hurt by what I did or for her to become any more like me than she already has. If I lost her or caused her harm, it would destroy what is left of me. I don't expect you to understand."

The surgeon stopped moving and knelt in the middle of the spilled charts, her dark caramel curls falling across her face. "You wish to protect the ones you love. I would expect nothing less from you. Still," Ember tipped her chin up and smiled. "I will continue to ask you to think about this: it is her choice, too." Then she finished gathering her things as if nothing had happened. She stood and walked over to check the monitors by his bed. "Still alive," the doctor mused. "You might consider investing in some of the perks of the life I so generously restored to you. Even princes and martyrs can fall in love…and for all intents and purposes, you have a brand new heart."

With that, she bid him good night and trotted out, off to finish her rounds and meet Rhodri.

Zechs found he missed her. Ember held back the silence, the loneliness of his current existence.

New heart… The prince examined the healing scar on his chest, never dreaming he'd be so touched by such a trite metaphor. Even so, things were not stable, not yet. He'd been a soldier too long to accept that total peace was possible in under a year.

Frowning, he picked up the remote and replayed the interview, this time listening a little more closely to what was said. Une was worried about security. The ESUN granted her limited funding for "preventative measures," whatever that was. When one listened to what was not said, it was obvious Lucrezia and Une were protective of that fragile peace and willing to do what was needed to keep it, no matter how unpopular it was. How could he help them if he was trapped in a hospital bed? In addition to the heart transplant, Epyon gifted him with compound fractures in both legs. Zechs contemplated the left one, peeking from under the blanket. The blue casts were gone and it was as scarred as his arms. The scars would fade, but he was more concerned with how much muscle he'd lost in the past months. He was not allowed in the weight room yet; Ember was afraid he would push too hard. Zechs was afraid he was not pushing his recovery hard enough.

Zechs decided to ask her again. He needed to heal, to be himself again or else sit back and watch Lucrezia fight his battle for him, an unacceptable option. Until he knew for certain that the peace he died for had a strong hold, he could not want something for himself. Even so, he raised the remote and pushed a button, freezing Lucrezia's image on the screen. Restless, he arranged the stack of pillows so he could still see her face when lying down. For a long time he watched her, considering, until he fell asleep.


Winter

"You're kidding, right?" Ember said. She and Rhodri stared at the image on the screen, a high resolution shot of the Martian surface taken by a telescope in high Earth orbit.

"It is one of three telescopes left undamaged by the Christmas Eve engagement. Amazing that it survived…"

"Yeah, amazing that it survived you, featherhead." Ember snorted. "Okay, I'll bite. Why the sudden interest in astronomy? I'd like my medical library back."

"You said I could do some research," Zechs said with a touch of righteous annoyance. It used to work on Treize. Ember only blinked at him.

"A little bit of research, fine. You've been in here for weeks."

"And where precisely am I supposed to go? You won't let me do anything."

"True," Ember admitted. "I am a controlling bitch," she flopped into a chair and gave the prince her full attention. "All right, what's the big surprise?"

"Relena has secured a contract with Fell Evershade Biomed to terraform Mars," Zechs announced proudly in his best addressing-the-troops voice.

Rhodri nodded. "I've heard rumors. Last time I tried to get some oxygen canisters from them they were back ordered. Of course, nothing is official yet."

"There are twenty seven people on the planet right now," Zechs said, pulling up a new screen filled with painstakingly compiled statistics on the project. "They are primarily scientists and experts in Space Colony life support. The one settlement is called Starfall Village. It has its own environmentally stable biodome and that's about it. They are going to be looking for help soon. And as it happens, they have no medical staff."

"Well, that's going to suck for them."

"That is very inappropriate language for a soldier of Treize, Ember." Zechs corrected her anyway, even though she never responded favorably to his suggestions. Usually she ignored him.

"That's good. I'd hate to disappoint him halfway. Now, I assume you have a reason for telling us this."

"Yes. I would like to be part of this project. I would like you and Rhodri to be that medical staff."

Ember giggled. "You're funny. You sound like you've made up your mind."

"I have," Zechs ignored her laughter and studied the screen. "I'm serious. This is very important to Relena. I think I can help her. I have a...rather great idea."

"Zechs…" Ember glanced at Rhodri, who was looking thoughtfully at the list. "Oh, no…you are not thinking about this."

"What is your idea?" Rhodri said curiously.

Zechs had to smile, but he hid it by looking at the computer. In all honesty, he was nervous. It wasn't a feeling he was accustomed to. Most things came easily, but up until now, there was an ultimate goal. With the war over, he was obsolete, a relic of the past, skilled in tasks no longer needed except for one. He knew how to lead. And this could be a new goal, a new life on a new world. And finally, it was a way to make it all up to Noin.

"I'm going to build a deep space telescope on Mars because her favorite thing is outer space…"

The doctors were quiet. Not that he expected any cheering, but he hoped for more than that. It sounded exciting enough to him after weeks of research into the Mars project, Fell Evershade, deep space telescopes, radio telescopes, orbiting telescopes, and the still completely theoretical process of terraforming a world. It was the idea of creating instead of destroying for once that kept him digging into ESUN records.

The search started because of the interview; Zechs wanted to know what Noin and Une were up to. He learned that easily enough—the "Preventers" were designated former soldiers with no official title, just a mandate from the ESUN to keep the peace. They were free to use whatever methods they liked. Relena had not thrown her full support behind it, yet. It was understandably difficult for her to completely trust Une.

Instead, Relena took her foster father's place as Foreign Minister and began to travel, personally securing promises of unity from the Colonies. She had appointed Lucrezia Princess Regent of Sanc in her place. Relena and Lucrezia were separately promoting the Mars project as a unifier for the healing Earth Sphere. The problems lay in the expense and remoteness of the project, but the instant Zechs read about it, the perfect solution presented itself and all he needed to do after that was decide how to implement it.

Rhodri was reading over his shoulder. "I dunno, Em, it's a promising thought. Less light pollution, ultra-remote, less noise. With all the activity in the Earth Sphere we haven't gotten any good shots of anything in a while. That location would give us a new perspective and plenty of room to work…"

"You're right." Ember stated.

"Yes, I am," Rhodri and Zechs said together. They both looked away from the screen and back at the doctor. Her expression was nearly unreadable, brows knit, and a lock of hair knotted between her fingers.

It really didn't matter if she said yes or not. Zechs was doing it anyway. If she said no, he could find another doctor. It didn't change the fact he wanted her to accept.

Ember got up and approached the screen, still blank. "Well…" she said at length, "What do we need? We're going to have to make a list."


Christmas Week

Ember shook him awake in the very early hours of the day before Christmas.

Complaining, he struggled to sit up, blinking in the harsh light from the hospital corridor behind her. She wore a tee shirt and sweats; something roused her early, too.

"Get up, Zechs. Hurry…"

"What is it?" The tension in her voice woke him the rest of the way. A soldier's training came rushing back. He was on his feet and following her before he thought to ask why they were up in the middle of the night.

She took him to the waiting room at the end of the hall where Rhodri stood, arms folded over his green scrubs, staring intently at the television. Ember turned it up. The reporter was summarizing his story. The prince had to listen closely because what he was saying made absolutely no sense.

"To recap this evening's events, Vice-Foreign Minister Relena Darlian has disappeared on a routine visit to Colony X-18999. No word on any violence, but Colony officials assured the ESUN this morning that every effort is being made to find her. The government has launched an official search and a statement issued by the Princess of Sanc's office declares Her Royal Highness the Princess Regent will devote any resources necessary to locate Miss Darlian."

"She is telling me not to worry," the prince said. Ember and Rhodri looked up at him, expectantly.

Zechs Merquise looked back and said, "I have to go." It was too soon, his chest hurt terribly from the fast wake up and the rush to the office, and he was still favoring his right leg which he was going to need to drive a mobile suit, but…it was what it was.

Rhodri only nodded. He got it, but Ember's reaction was loud and furious. "No. No way are you going anywhere…! You have weeks left before I can say with any certainty you won't have another heart attack. No… I am not releasing you."

"Rhodri…?"

"I will arrange for a shuttle."

Ember turned on him. "Rhodri, no…!"

"Ember, be reasonable. It's his sister. He can make the trip and you know it."

"I don't know that. He could have another heart attack, he could…"

"I am right here," Zechs reminded them.

Rhodri nodded once, firmly. "It is not up to us, Ember. I will get a shuttle ready."

She took a deep breath. Zechs knew she was about to let him have it. Rhodri only blinked at her. Ember shut her eyes, cursing under her breath. "I know. I've let pilots go with worse. Come on, Zechs. You win, you're right. She's your sister. We'll see if we can keep you on your feet."

Had the prince any possessions to pack, he'd have left them. As it was, beyond his notes about Mars, he had not acquired anything during his hospital stay save the heart. Street clothes were borrowed from Rhodri and a flight suit acquired from colony stores. Rhodri had a personal shuttle reserved at all times for transporting patients, but his usual pilot was on leave. "I called him. ETA is an hour…" Rhodri explained while Ember loaded a first-aid bag with medicine and—to Zechs's slight unsettlement—a portable defibrillator.

"The instructions are on the lid," she showed him the box before stowing it. "I have a week's supply of all your meds here. You will need to remember to refill them. The instructions are inside…do not forget this. You will be taking some of these for the rest of your life. How long that is depends on you taking them."

"I know," Zechs began, but Ember cut him off.

"If you want a long life with your princess, you will take them. Don't forget about it the minute you are back out there!"

"I will take them," he promised. He took the bag from her. She let go of it without complaint, but she wouldn't look at him. After a whole year fighting for his life, it must be torture for her to let him go risk it in the same way again. There was no choice. She was a flight surgeon and must be accustomed to it.

"Forget about the pilot," Zechs turned his attention to Rhodri to give Ember some time to collect herself. "I can fly."

"It's a newer model…" Rhodri trailed off as he remembered who he was talking to.

Ember trailed them out to the landing bay, staffed with hospital vehicles and the one small private shuttle. A few people stared; no one stopped them. It was busier than Zechs expected it to be at this hour, meaning that the colony was on alert, meaning it was increasingly important he hurry.

He tossed the first-aid kit and the rucksack containing a change of clothes and his books into the back of the shuttle. It was a small, fast vehicle, perfect for emergencies. Rhodri gave him the clearance codes to get out of the bay and stepped back. Ember grabbed his hand, yanked him half out of the pilot's chair as he was climbing in. "What?" he said with more force than he wanted. The clock was running. Now that he was going home—back to her—waiting for anything was almost impossible.

Ember met his eyes. "You have a new heart. Make good choices." She hugged him with one arm around his neck and let him go, adding, "We'll see you on Mars."


Mars
Starfall Village
Day 10

"What is this? Triplicate Form for Acquisition of Vegetation and Live Animal Product; v2.3…" Lucrezia slid the page across the table. "Is this for supplies or actual animals?"

Zechs scanned the form. "I…I don't know. I didn't know the Colonies had this much paperwork."

"There are animals in Hydro. Wait, I have it: Ark Transport. They handle live animals. That must be a supply order."

"A company called Ark Transport exists?"

"You have to admit it is an adorable name." Lucrezia smiled and continued sorting through the stacks of forms in front of her. Now and then she pushed her hair back or played with one of her silver earrings. Earrings were forbidden with dress uniform. On Mars, she was allowed to wear what she wanted. It was cute how she still incorporated military elements —was that intentional? Tonight's aquamarine halter top was civilian and pretty with black cargo pants. Her boots had been discarded just inside the door as soon as they arrived at the office. It was pretty because it was her—because the Noin he knew was a soldier.

"What?" Violet eyes met his through her long bangs. She slid the hair back and demanded, "You're staring instead of working."

It was difficult to work at the moment; he kept stopping to look around in wonder. Just a little over a year ago, he believed he would die with Epyon, burn with Libra high above Earth and now …all was quiet. It was late evening and he was safe with Noin in the large room in Admin that Kieran suggested for the Village office. It overlooked the entire Village and the landing field. He could see shuttles on descent from his chair. Lights burned in apartment windows below. Their own window was dark to save energy, but…the point was one of those Village windows belonged to him and Noin.

The square was empty save for the ever-present ashes of the campfire and their reassuring glow. Every day the atmosphere became a bit more hospitable; soon he could go outside and look up at a sky full of stars. Light pollution was going to be minimal no matter how big the colony became. It was one of his goals that no one on Mars would have to struggle to find a perfect view of the night sky.

Their office was big enough for an OZ officers' meeting and instead of desks, they had a conference table. It came with the room. Kylie, the quartermaster, said the table arrived with a shipment of office furniture via Relena. It was an immense round table with images of castles and knights carved into the wooden legs. The top was polished red marble. They did not have matching chairs, so Zechs and Noin salvaged a few from their shuttle and Kieran provided the rest from his office across the hall. Now the entire colony leadership could meet here. The symbolism was not lost on either of them—both read King Arthur stories when they were young. After a week, Lucrezia was still snickering over King Zechs and his Round Table. He was determined that was where the Arthurian symbolism was going to end—no one was destroying this "kingdom," but he secretly liked the table as much as she did.

"You are still staring," she observed, fingers tapping on the stack of mystery forms.

"I was just thinking this is nice. It's what normal people do."

"Sort paperwork for a Martian terra colony while pondering live animals delivered to deep space?"

"It is normal for us. Allow me to clarify. This reminds me of studying with you at Lake Victoria."

Lucrezia giggled. "If that is true, then you are too far away," she remarked, reminding him how most of those study sessions got seriously off topic.

Zechs was about to slide over and recreate one for her when Kieran arrived, trailing ever-present surface dust and carrying an armful of radios. Maybe it was time to rethink the Open Door Policy for the Village Office. "Here you go," he dropped one in front of each of them. "Dave has communications up and running so the new rule is no one goes anywhere without one of these. Push to talk," he added, demonstrating.

"Low tech," Lucrezia observed.

"It's the best we can manage right now. All of our funding is going to the atmosphere project. Don't worry—they work very well."

"Things will change when we get the astronomy project going," Zechs promised.

"Well, would you settle for your doctors? These two rode in on the last shuttle and they about took my head off over the state of our hospital."

"We don't have a hospital, we have a room where we keep the first-aid kit," Zechs began and then Kieran's words sunk in. "Wait, doctors? My doctors…?"

Ember Lee Sunwing danced into the office then, looking entirely too wide-awake for someone just off the shuttle. Rhodri came after her and he did look tired, but he smiled as soon as he saw Zechs. "Hey…you look good!" he said and some of the exhaustion left his face. "You look better!"

"Of course he does—he's following all of our advice, right?" Ember said cheerily. Still, she slipped immediately to his side and wrapped her hand about his wrist, counting heartbeats.

"Yes," Zechs said quickly, as Kieran looked confused. This was not the time for explanations. Zechs held out his hand to Lucrezia, who quietly stood up when Ember and Rhodri appeared. She took his hand. "Ember and Rhodri, this is Lucrezia Noin…"

"Princess…!" Ember laughed. "You're here! I knew you'd be here! I'm Ember Lee Sunwing and this is my husband Rhodri. We've heard so much about you."

"I am honored to meet you," Lucrezia replied formally, eyes shining.

"The honor is ours. Some patients are a bit more difficult than others. This one may not have come back if not for you." Ember winked at Zechs. She let go of his arm just as Lucrezia surprised them both by throwing her arms around the startled doctor.

"Thank you…! Thank you so much…!" she said. Zechs was the only one to notice the tremble in her voice.

Ember returned the hug. "You're welcome," she whispered, smiling at her patient over Lucrezia's shoulder.

"So," Rhodri said, "What's this about your hospital being only a first aid kit…?"


"I like them," Lucrezia said a bit later, she and Zechs returned to their apartment. She was curled up on her sleeping bag, chin resting on her knees, and wearing her favorite sleeping gear of boy shorts and a Lake Victoria t-shirt. "Ember talks a lot."

"You have no idea until you are trapped in a hospital room with her." Zechs agreed. He was across the room at the bathroom sink, also dressed for bed in a t-shirt and pajama pants, going through the nightly ritual of heart medications. There were so many it was tough keeping track.

"I'm glad they are here. What if you could not get those? We are so far from even the nearest Colony." She did not like to talk about the number of drugs he took, so it was startling for her to ask.

"I brought enough," he reassured her again. He explained it all the first time she saw the pile of bottles on the counter. The last thing he wanted was for her to be scared. "I brought six months' supply from Earth. Ember and Rhodri can make these here, now."

"What if they can't get the right supplies?" she fretted, twisting a corner of the sleeping bag in her hands.

"They will get them. They will go back to the Colonies for them if they have to. They came to take care of everyone on Mars, so don't worry." When Lucrezia did not reply, he sighed. He took the last handful of—well, they were blue and they were supposed to help the scars fade—and crossed the room to sit beside her. He pulled her against him and rested his head against hers, his silver bangs mixing with her raven locks.

"If anything bad happens, remember that I assigned them an apartment close to us. Ember was the one who did the heart transplant and she knows everything about it. I promise it will be all right."

"You can't promise that," she objected, too smart to accept false comfort.

"Will you at least let me promise that I will follow all of her orders until I am back to the way I was before?"

Lucrezia turned her head to favor him with a trace of a smile. "I like you this way, too," she announced. She hugged him tight, pushing him back onto the pillow. She rested her head on his chest and listened. He caught her this way sometimes, pretending to sleep when she was actually listening to his heart. And he realized that Lucrezia, the same brave princess that flew a giant robot into battle without a hint of fear, defeated the dragon Epyon and kept all his secrets through years of war, was afraid of the space between heartbeats.

"Listen," Zechs said, gently moving her so she had to look at him. It was important. "You said you waited all this time—so did I. The entire time I was in that hospital, I waited for the chance to see you. Even in my dreams, I thought about nothing else…except perhaps building you a colony where you can live among the stars. I'm not doing anything to damage that—I've caused you enough pain—so I promise to be careful. And to show you how serious I am if you think I'm not taking care of myself to your satisfaction, you have my permission to tell on me."

"Really…?"

"I will always want you to watch over me." That earned him a smile, followed immediately with a kiss, and then a longer kiss—the kind that used to put an end to those late-night study hours at Victoria. He slid his hands under her t-shirt, over her soft skin; felt her heart beat with his through the thin cotton…until she pulled back, her hands flat on his chest.

"Your heart is racing!" she said.

"That happens when you kiss me," he replied.

"Zechs…!" she hesitated, but she did not move her hands.

He reached over, picked up one of the now-mandatory little radios that stood next to their makeshift bed, and held it in front of her. "You can call her," he reminded her, struggling to keep his voice steady. The choice must be hers. It was not all right for her to be scared.

Lucrezia eyed the radio for a moment. She looked from it to Zechs and back. He waited, hardly breathing at all, until she took it from him and set it back in its place next to the big flashlight that served as a lamp.

"Why didn't you send for me last year?" she asked without recrimination. She only wanted to know. He expected this question would come eventually.

"I did not want to scare you. There was nothing for you to do—I was asleep for most of it. And, most important, Relena needed you. If I called you to me, she would be alone. I thought it best for you to be near her. It was easier for me to rest knowing you were together and safe."

"Easier for you, but for me…I was so lonely. We were both so alone. Heero disappeared, same as you." She turned off the flashlight and cuddled against him as if seeking shelter. "You have to tell me if you are in trouble. I understand why you did not call, but…I'm not going to count the days between times I see you anymore."

He kissed her forehead. "There will be no days to count. If I must be gone for another year or two days, you will go with me."

"No more asking if I'm sure that I want to?"

"No. You came this far. I believe you are the first girl in history to go all the way to Mars for someone she loved. I…cannot seem to find a successful argument to that."

"Is that all I had to do?" he felt her body shake with laughter. "Go to Mars? You really can't make it easy, can you Zechs?"

"I guess not. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'd go all the way to Jupiter if that is what it takes."

"What about Saturn?"

"Nope—Jupiter is my limit and Neptune is right out." That was most definitely a tease. He knew her. Lucrezia would follow him to the final star.

"That is fortunate because it turns out that Mars is in fact the correct answer. You win. And…" he kissed her again, "That is the only battle I'm prepared to surrender—ever. You'd better appreciate it."

Lucrezia's reply was a kiss that made his heart race again—only this time she did not shy away. And very shortly he was far too distracted to worry about the space between breaths.


AN: On titles: For the purposes of my story, Lucrezia's original noble title is Duchess of Rome. I just decided I wanted her to be a duchess. It has something to do with Treize. ^^

On tech: It is tough to discern the level of technology in this world. Given that they have successful space colonies and…giant robots, I imagine they have a way of getting to Mars in a reasonable amount of time. I set it at two-three weeks, depending on the mode of transportation.

Thank you to everyone who has read and /or reviewed Starfall! +1 to all your die rolls! ^^

That disclaimer thing I always forget: I do not own Gundam Wing, Zechs, Noin, Treize, Lady Une, Relena, Tallgeese, or Mars. ^^ Ember, Rhodri, Kieran and the Starfall crew, however, ran rampant through the story and that's totally my fault.