A/N: Another one by SSU and MCK. We're like creepy twins, huh?
Haruhi and Sasaki were hanging out together. They had temporarily set aside each other's differences to talk about stuff like the supernatural and shopping. As they were walking down the street together, something happened that would change them forever.
They switched bodies!
"WHAT? How could this happen?" yelled Haruhi, though her voice came from out of Sasaki's mouth. Sasaki (in Haruhi's) body was wondering the same thing as she checked out herself in a store window.
"I think that this is an improvement," said Sasaki. "Now, I don't have to go to that stupid cram school and I'll have Kyon all to myself... Whoops! Did I say that out loud?"
"EX-CUSE ME?!?! Who the heck do you think you are?! Kyon is all mine! You had your chance with him, you harpy! ....And quit feeling up my boobs!" roared Haruhi as Sasaki kept poking herself in the chest to test out her new assets.
Then suddenly Fujiwara, Kyouko, and Kuyou came out of nowhere. They were all holding pitch forks and torches for some reason.
"Oh, Sasaki! We heard something about you hanging around with that wretched Haruhi! Is this true?" asked Kyouko, wielding a torch. Haruhi (as Sasaki) looked over at Sasaki and grinned evilly.
"No! She kidnapped me with her large breasts and her huge ass! Get her, guys!" shouted Haruhi/Sasaki. Sasaki/Haruhi on the other hand was going to try out her new legs and started running.
"Crap, crap, crap, crap, CRAP! How am I going to get out of this one?!" Sasaki said to herself as she jumped over a chain-link fence. "Wait! I know who can help me!"
She continued running and ran directly into Yuki. She helped the girl up and said, "Help! Sasaki and her evil band of sneering bastards and or bitches are trying to kill me!"
"I see. Come with me," Yuki said mysteriously. She took Sasaki by the wrist and led her into an alleyway. And before she knew it, Yuki had taken Sasaki through several shortcuts to her intended destination before they had seen each other. The place?
Burger King.
"Welcome to Burger King! How may I help you?" said Ryoko Asakura who was wearing a Burger King work uniform.
"I would like 12 boxes of chicken tenders, 3 medium Sprites, and 20 plain cheeseburgers. Oh, yes. Would you care for anything, Sasaki?" Yuki asked quietly to Sasaki's shock.
"Umm, yeah. Can do anything about the band of psychos chasing me, Asakura?" she timidly asked.
Ryoko looked up from the register and saw the aforementioned band of pursuers. She knew that was really Haruhi in Sasaki's body due to her heightened alien perception. She picked up 4 cherry slushies and walked towards them. The gang stopped in front of Ryoko.
"Hello!" she beamed out. "Would you guys like to try a complimentary cherry slushie? They're on the house!"
"OH, BOY! FREE STUFF!!!" Haruhi, Fujiwara, Kuyou, and Kyouko sang out. They threw down their weapons and began to chug down their beverages. Sasaki and Yuki were confused, until Ryoko gave them a sneaky grin.
Then suddenly they all exploded! Blood was everywhere and Kuyou's hair looked like a dead cat. Sasaki then took a look at the two aliens and her former body and decided to run like hell.
"OH, GOD! OH, GOD! OH GOD!!! I'm technically dead! And so are my friends! What am I going to do?!" Sasaki half-yelled, half-cried. As she was sobbing, she ran right into someone. Falling on her butt, she looked up into the concerned face of Emiri Kimidori.
Then suddenly, the shy-looking girl held up a gun to Sasaki/Haruhi. "Surrender your screen-time to me!"
"Kimidori, it's really me! Sasaki! Me and Haruhi swapped bodies, but then Asakura blew her and my friends up with cherry slushies!" Sasaki said in a panic, while Emiri's eyes flew open in surprise.
"Oh, my... Does this mean I get their screen-time?" The salad-haired girl started to get excited.
"I guess," Sasaki said with a shrug. "Hey, wait! Since Haruhi is dead, why hasn't the world blown up?"
"It's because I'm not dead! Dumbass!" said a voice in Sasaki's head. "I basically pulled a Bakura and left part of my soul in my old body. Now.... time to kick you out!" the voice exclaimed as Sasaki was pulled into a battle arena with a large amount of yuri hentai posted on the walls.
"Am I inside your brain?" Sasaki asked as she noticed all of the poorly drawn fan-work.
"No. We're in Mikuru's brain. I borrowed it," replied Haruhi.
"How the hell did you manage that?!" asked a very weirded-out Sasaki, keeping her eyes on Haruhi the whole time as she circled her like a shark.
"Because I'm God. Dumbass!" Haruhi replied as her eyes glowed bright yellow when she said that.
Haruhi leaped high into the air and delivered a crushing downward chop with her right hand. Sasaki crossed her own arms in fear, but was surprised to feel Haruhi's blow land. It felt like someone hit her with a leaf.
"A God, huh?" Sasaki said in a sarcastic tone as she tackled Haruhi down to the ground.
"Damn it! I forgot about your powers too! You're like freaking Kryptonite to me! Well, I'll still beat you!" Haruhi snarled as she and Sasaki wrestled around.
After a while of grabbing, groping and falling, some strange sprinkler turned on and dissolved the two girl's clothes.
"ACK! What the hell?!" the goddesses shouted in unison as they stood in their cute little bra and panties. For you perverts out there, Haruhi's was bunny-print and purple, while Sasaki's had pink flowers and was white.
"Hehe... That's right. Keep going, little girlies," said the voice of Mikuru Asahina.
Haruhi and Sasaki turned and saw a grinning Mikuru sitting on some stands a few feet away. She had a hot dog and one of those big foam fingers that said, "YAY FOR YURI!" on it.
"Wait, I thought she was into yaoi?" Sasaki said. The two goddesses took a look at each other and nodded. Then they rushed up the stands in pursuit of Mikuru.
"Hey! This is my brain! What are you guys going to do?" Mikuru asked fearfully as they advanced on her.
"I know!" Haruhi exclaimed as all three of the girls were enveloped into a bright white light. They had teleported to...
Kyon's bedroom. He was playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl and had just beaten Tabuu on the Subspace Emissary on the Intense difficulty. He was currently dancing around in his boxers, hands over his head.
"I did the exact same thing when I beat that thing," Sasaki said in a calm tone. Kyon saw the two girls in panties, along with Mikuru, who I forgot to mention, was in lotila cosplay were suddenly in his room.
"Ummmmmmm........ Hey guys..." Kyon said in embarrassment as he covered himself with a pillow and a sleeping Shamisen. "How did you guys get here? ....And what's more, why are Haruhi and Sasaki in their underwear?"
"Honestly, I don't know anymore," Sasaki said with a shrug. "Why don't we all go get slushies at Burger King?"
A panicked Ryoko suddenly ran into the room, waving her arms about. "EVERYBODY! I don't know how, but Kyouko, Fujiwara, and Kuyou are inside my head!"
"JUST FUCKING GOOGLE IT!!!!" said a suddenly angry Mikuru. Everyone else just left the room, not caring about their lack of clothing.
In another place, the three members of the Anti-SOS Brigade were bouncing around their new home.
A/N: Nuttier than a pecan pie, huh?
C'mon, folks! Reviews will keep thing alive! And you REALLY don't wanna see SSU beg. He's pretty pathetic.
