Chapter 04:
Feliciano's POV:
Ciao, my name is Feliciano Vargas. I am 20 years old. But this is only how I look like. That's only my appearance … actually I am much older.
I am also well known as Italy.
North Italy.
I am not a normal person. I am a country. A nation. It's a kind difficult to explain but I guess that I don't have to explain it to you. I think you already understand it. (the most, I guess)
I like my name. Feliciano is kind of cute, isn't it? As a personification of a nation you also need a human name for the public and might your private life, too. Even if our human names are given to hide our real self, I think it is nicer and more personal to call you by your name and not by your nationname. That's the reason why I call all of my friends (which of course are nations) by their human names.
I have also given some of them nicknames. For example I call my fratello Lovi~ instead of Lovino; Toni for Antonio or Liz for Elizabeta.
Other nations which a dear with others have given them also nick-and pet names. For example Antonio calls Lovino "Mi Tomate". Lovino calls Antonio "Tomato Bastard" (But he calls everyone Bastard, like Alfred is "Hamburger Bastard", Gilbert and Ludwig are the "Potato Bastards", Arthur is the "Tea Bastard" and Francis is the "Wine Bastard" and/ or only "Pervert" and many other Bastardi)
Alfred calls Arthur "Artie" or "Iggy". Arthur calls Alfred … git, jerk, wanker, idiot, moron pillock, twonk, … (no comment).
Francis calls Arthur "Punk" or "eyebrows" … oh he is called eyebrows by almost everyone. Francis is the frog, wine bastard, pervert, ah… Franny …. WHY ARE ALL THIS NICKNAMES SO MEAN!
Okay, Kiku calls the nations with this -san and -kun stuff. I am, for example, Ita-kun or Ita-chan. America is America-san. As Gilbert has understood the principle he calls himself Ore-sama.
But I still don't get it really.
The Nordics call each other "Brother" despites Iceland. He refuses to call them "Big Brother" especial Norway. Denmark calls Norway "Norge" and Norway calls Denmark "annoying". And Sweden calls Finland his "wife" but I think the Nordics are kind of creepy. But I like them.
Still … in my opinion Names are something … special.
I like it when someone calls me Feliciano or Feli. Fratello says that he hates his name. (I think he overacts and actually likes his name) he hates the short form of it … 'Lovi~', I think it is cute and Antonio, too. But he hates it so much that I am the only one left who is allowed to use it.
The first time he has hated it was as Antonio compared Lovi with Love and called him all the time Lovi. (He still compares it and calls him so)
Lovino doesn't hate his name. He hates that his cheeks turn into a dark sharp of scarlet every time Antonio uses his nickname. (awwwh cute~)
Ludwig doesn't like to use the names so easily like me. For him it is too private to call them all by their human names. He rather prefers it to use their nation names. Only his family and his closest friends are called by their human names. Like Roderich, Elizabeta, Gilbert, Francis, Antonio, Vash, Lilly and I. But he only calls them so when he speaks directly to them. Otherwise they are still Austria, Hungary, Prussia (but most Bruder), France, Spain, Switzerland, Lichtenstein and Italy.
It has taken me so long to get him to call me 'Feli' instead 'Feliciano'. And I love it how he stresses 'Feli'. Every time when I call him 'Ludi' he blushes and I love it. I really really love it.
But nations aren't born with their human names. They get them later. Because the main reason for the human names is to live and work among humans which are not privy.
Romano and Italy got their human names when they became independent. Now they have an own country to rule and they need own names. Yes we need them.
We get the names when we need them.
It is a pity that I could never know his name. Sure he had a wonderful name. How much I want to know the human name of the Holy Roman Empire.
-*3*-
Nations are immortal … some people think so. Some of us are very old like China. I don't really know but I have heard that Yao is over 4000 years old.
Others are very young like Sealand, he is physically only a child. (yes for me he is a nation, I also acknowledge my brother Seborga as a nation)
I am many centuries old and only 20 years old. That's what the human see and what my body is. My mind is much older and I am not the naïve and innocent one that I seem to be.
I went through many wars and I lost many of my people, my solders; but I also lost my family and my first love.
As I already have told, nations seem to be immortal but they can also die. It is hard and takes longer to kill a nation than a human. You can't only stab them to death or shoot them. But during wars, nations lose regions and power … and some of them even vanish.
Grandpa Rome was once a big country; he ruled over almost all of Europe, but then he fell … he died.
The Holy Roman Empire also died. He also wanted to be as big and powerful as Grandpa Rome was. But he lost against big brother France in the Napoleonic wars. He lost his life. It was August 1806 as the message reached me.
My love … the boy who had promised to come back to me … he died.
He would never come back.
He could never come back.
But he had promised.
All the time I thought he was my other part. The one who completed me.
But now …
-*3*-
~My madre once told me and Romano about Love.
All people (if human or Nation) had another one, who was made for them.
Two pieces which belonged together. And the mission of Love for our life was to find this other part of us, she told us.
And the other part wanted to find us too.
It is Love.
There's somebody in the big world who was made for me and I was made for them.
It's only the person themselves, their character; and all the other things are minor. They had to make us happy and fill our heart with love, with amore. Later big brother Spain told us that our love should also give us passion. (But it was obvious that he said this, he is the country of passion and the country who wants to get into my fratello's pants.)
My mother also told us that they should give us friendliness and warmth. This was important, how much they loved us, not how much money or which eye or hair color they have.
She was such a wise woman and mother; and she was so caring, kind, she was the best mamma ever.
She filled our hearts with love and told us how to find our other part.
I never asked her this one important question; I was never conceived that this would happen: What is when your other part died and you are alone and lost them. Is there another one who is also alone and made for you, or will you be forever alone?
I found him my other part. The one who I was made for, who was made for me.
But I already lost him and now I am alone in the big wide world, with the long life of a nation.
~Japan once told me about destiny.
That everything had a reason. Sometimes bad things must happen so that our life changes itself.
That sometimes one has to die that another can move on.
He said that it was for my own sake.
What would have happened if he was still alive? Would I have found my friends? Would I have found my love? Would I still love Ludwig?
If the Holy Roman Empirewas still here the world would look different from ours now; I know this.
I would never have hid myself in a tomato box in WWI.
I would never have started an ally with Germany and would never have become friends with him and Japan.
I would never have lost my heart for him.
To shorten this.
Japan said that the Holy Roman Empire had to die that I could find Ludwig and I could allow letting him into my heart; to love him.
It is rude but Giappone was kind of right.
Sacro Romano Impero disappeared and Germania appeared.
But why had little Italia to suffer?
That worst is that they are so similar.
I have never thought about it, I never saw it until Lovino said it to me. Now I see the similarities;
The way they blush
The way they look when something is unpleasant to them
The way they shyly smile
… is that chance of fate? Or is that all my fault?
~Hungary said that I should love them how I love (I don't know but make that any sense?)
And when I love somebody I should listen to my heart and shouldn't question why I love them.
"You love them, you heart said you love, get it?"
But then I asked her why she didn't do the same.
Why didn't she listen to her heart?
First she looked confused then she blushed and looked away. She said that she didn't know what I mean and left the room.
-*3*-
But I know that she loves another man. She was married to Austria. She was happy. She loved him. But she loved another man more. She denies it. They have been friends since childhood. But I see that their friendship was no longer only a friendship. It has grown into something bigger … in love.
And the other man loves her as well.
France once loved a human. Nations have long lives. A human life is nothing in our life. Some decades, and many humans die too soon. She died too soon. She only could live two decades and not really two decades ... 19 years and she died, she was executed. It is a pity, it is so unfair. She was so young and so brave. She loved her country and her country loved her. But it couldn't continue forever. Humans made countries weak and women made men weak.
Spain has fallen in love with a girl he could never get. Her brother hated and still hates Spain. He despises him and had kept a close eye (better we say two eyes) of the two. Their love was never allowed. The big brother didn't allow that. And Spain spent a lot of time with her and of course they met each other in secret but he had too much fear of her brother. He didn't want to lose his life and she neither. So they broke up.
America loves a man since he was little. He would never admit that, but it was obvious that the brother-love he was given by the man who raised him wasn't the love he wanted. It took him centuries and many wars. He needed to get independent from him. He needed to get adult to start his own life, to get what he wanted. As another person, as the person he was and not as the man's little brother he could get his heart. As two separate countries and not as brothers. Now they can start a new kind of bond. A bond based of love. (But honestly I think he should change his behavior and they should be nicer to each other.)
Romano has fallen for his boss. Everybody ignored him, nobody loved him; this was what he once said to me with a hateful view as I was the reason for this. I always loved him and nonno and mamma and Seborga and Spain. Especial Spain. Fratello wasn't easy to handle and he has always had a bad temper and a colorful language and he is aggressive. But he has also feelings and wants to be loved. His caretaker loves him. He teased him and Romano hated it (he still does so), but he also took care of him. He read him goodnight stories and gave him goodnight kisses (even when he was headpunched for the kisses); let him sleep in his bed when he was afraid of the dark or a thunder-storm. He treated his wounds and protected him. He played with him, visited the beach and worked at the tomato fields. But when Romano became a grown-up it was different. But their relationship has changed. They have developed passionate feelings for each other. But Romano was too proud to move on and his migliore amico relationship. And his amico doesn't think that his little tomato has already grown up and that he had deep romantic feelings for him.
My other brother Seborga … owwh I think he … l-likes Romano. But I am not sure and maybe I misunderstood something … I hope so.
And there are many others who have their one love problem / stories etc. …
~Veneziano … I am fell in love with my best friend, my migliore amico. But my biggest problem is that I am afraid of losing our friendship when I tell him about my true feelings and that he doesn't feel the same way. I don't know if he reciprocates my feelings. He may finds that disgusting. When both are males.
I don't want to lose the friendship and him. I rather keep quiet and don't tell him my real feelings. Maybe one day I take all my courage and confess my feelings to him. Or maybe one day he … maybe?
Maybe (I hope so) he loves me, too.
But the most important is: don't take him away, too.
~Ludwig, stay with me. …. Don't leave me.
-*3*-
madre = mother (ita)
mamma = mom (ita)
fratello = brother (ita)
amore = love (ita)
ciao = hello (ita)
mi Tomate = my tomato (esp)
bastardi = bastards (ita)
Norge = Norway (den)
Bruder = brother (ger)
Sacro Romano Impero = Holy Roman Empire (ita)
Germania = Germany (ita)
Giappone = Japan (ita)
Italia = Italy (ita)
nonno = Grandfather (ita)
migliore amico = best friend [m] (ita)
amico = friend [m] (ita]
-*3*-
A/N: I know it sucks *3* your amica (:
I hope you can forgive me ... my beta hadn't got time; and she lives in a boarding home (till I finished my final exams I also lived there) and the bastards who rule this dictatorship have disconnected the internet(the INTERNET, it is cruel) and so we can only communicate at the weekend.
okay now my fault I was in hospitale untill yesterday.. hehe and now i can continue the story ... but you have to be patient. because it's me ;DD
-*3*-
arigato you, for reading
... grazie wodolay, for being my beta
... and danke for all followers and for all reviews
(reviews make me happy)
~to be continued~
