Sam decided it was time to tell Dean that he was going back to law school. He wanted to get it over with it; he just hoped Dean wouldn't be mad.

Sam knocked on Dean's door and heard a moan. He figured it was just Dean so he came in to see Dean curled up in a ball on the floor.

"Dean?" Sam said with panic in his voice.

"Uhh" Dean was clutching his stomach.

"Are you okay?"

"My stomach hurts like hell" he responded

"Hex bag, maybe?" Sam said out loud to himself

"No, take me to a hospital" Dean reached his arm out to Sam who took it and slung it over his shoulder.

"Okay, okay I gotchya, I gotchya"

-

Dean's room was 24A. Sam was napping in a chair next to Dean's bed.

There was a dumb soap opera playing on TV, but Dean wasn't really paying attention.

Once Dean got comfortable, he closed his eyes and decided to get some sleep.


"Dean?"

Dean looked up.

"Is everything okay?" Cas was worried. He didn't want this to happen to Dean.

"Uh, I don't really know yet" I shrug

Cas nodded "Okay, Dean"

"… So you uhh… like me?" Dean finally asked like maybe the answer might have changed already.

Cas looked away and nodded. Dammit Cas. Why couldn't you like Sam?

Then he turned back to Dean "I could stop seeing you, if you want?"

"No! No, it's okay, really. You don't have to do that" Dean gave Cas a reassuring smile Fuck


When Dean opened his eyes he saw Sam holding Dean's hand and tearing up a bit. "Sam?"

"I spoke to the doctors"

"Sammy, what's wrong?"

"You uh… have pancreas cancer"

"Cancer?"

Sam nodded

"How long?

Sam looked up "What?"

"How long do I have left Sammy?"

"A couple years, maybe"

"Oh"

"I'm so sorry Dean"

Dean shook his head "Don't be sorry Sam. It's not your fault."

"Maybe there's something or someone that can help you?"

"How? There are no angels or demons anymore"

"But maybe I can find another priest to lay some mojo on you"

"No. Sam, no. We aren't doing that"

"Then what am I supposed to do?! Dean, what am I supposed to do afterwards?!"

"You're not going to moan over me. You're going to accept that I'm gone. And you're going to go back to school and become a lawyer. Get a job, get a wife, have babies, and grow old. You are going to have the life you always wanted."

"But what about you, Dean?"

"I wasn't made for an apple pie life. My life is to be a hunter. And there isn't anything left for me now" His mouth curled into a smile.

Sam just sat there. He was going to wait on telling Dean about him going to school, at least for a week or two.


"Dean?"

"Hey Cas" Dean smiled then looked down.

"Is everything okay?"

"Peachy"

"Dean"

"It's nothing I can't handle, Cas"

Cas kept starring

"Fine. I …uhh have cancer." He laughed a little

"How is having cancer humorous?"

Dean smiled at Cas "You never changed"

Cas tilted his head in confusion. Dean smiled.

"Cas?"

"Yes"

"Would you hate me for being relieved that this happened?"

"I would never hate you Dean"

Dean just kept thinking, thinking about the people in his shoes that would be morning that this was happening to them. But not him, he's just done.

"… I'm so selfish"

Cas looked alarmed "Dean, you are not selfish! You are humble, loyal, brave, and a person who saves person after person. You are many things, but selfish isn't one of them"

"Cas?"

"Yes Dean?"

"Stop hitting on me" Dean smirked.

Oh god, am I hitting on Cas? Dean was taken back by that thought. He couldn't honestly have feelings for Cas, could he? Castiel was Dean's best friend for 6 years now. That's a long time, well if you compare it to 40 years in Hell, maybe not. But still. Dean always would say he didn't swim in that pond, but come on. Dean was a crazy guy; he had sex with a fallen angel, and twins. He doesn't say no too many things, but even if he did like Cas like that, he wouldn't want to screw up their friendship. He needs all the support he can get. Especially right now.

"I wasn't hitting on you" Cas said with confusion in his voice

Dean scuffed "Never mind Cas, never mind"


"Dean, can I tell you something?"

"Shoot"

"I'm so sorry" He broke down. Dean had never seen Cas like this, throughout all the years he was just an emotionless angel.

"For what, Cas?" Dean had an idea why he was sorry

"For everything. All the horrible things I did these past years." He shook his head "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Hey, come on Cas. You know that stuff is in the past, don't worry about it, okay?" By this time, Dean had his hand on Cas'.

Cas nodded.

"God, you look like a ditched prom date" Dean laughed. And took the end of his sleeve and wiped off Cas' tears from his face. Hey Dean? Yeah, uh whatchya doin?

Dean rolled his eyes at himself.

"Cas, I think I'm waking up. See ya" Dean said before he opened his eyes and was back in real life.


Dean didn't see Sam when he opened his eyes. So he picked up the remote for the TV and turned it on. He flipped through the channels till he stopped on the news.

"Dean?" Sam came in the room.

Dean looked at Sam "Who else?"

Sam laughed "Yeah"

Sam was not happy right now. I mean, he really is never happy but he thought after he'd locked Hell and Heaven, all the loss would be over. But you can't always get what you want; even if you think you deserve it. The world doesn't go like that.

So now, he had to live his life without his brother. The person who practically raised him. The brother who went to Hell for him. How could he make that up now? Sam has done terrible things, things that faulted their trust. But he never wanted to let Dean down anymore.

"Hey Dean?"

"Yeah?" He said with a mouthful of pudding that Sam brought him.

"I've decided to go back to law school…"

Dean nodded "…Good for you Sammy"

"Really?"

"Yeah, you deserve it" Dean smiled

Sam felt relieved and fell back into his chair next to Dean's bed.


"Cas?" Dean looked around and didn't see him. He was driving the Impala down a empty highway.

Maybe he's busy He shrugged. A few minutes later he thought Wow, this is boring. What were my dreams before Cas? He didn't have to answer that. He knew that before Cas started visiting him, he had nightmares. Nightmares that felt so real, that pinching himself didn't do a thing. Nightmares that nobody could in their right mind ever imagine. Nightmares that were so frightening that he would never tell another human soul about them.

"Hello, Dean"

Dean turned to Cas and smiled before turning back to the road "Hey"

"Sorry, I had to take care of something"

"Oh, it's no big deal."

"That's what you say when it is a big deal" Cas said in a 'actually' sort of way.

Dean turned to Cas "Where were you?" Dean said trying to change the subject.

Cas turned towards the window "Just sending something"

Dean smirked "For me?"

Cas didn't know, but Dean saw him blush. Cas never answered which made Dean smile.

"Dreams are strange" Cas finally said.

Dean lifted his eyebrows "How?"

"I don't know. They're just so different. Not heaven, not a parallel universe, just the mind of a human being. It's quite remarkable. You can't fly in real life, but in a dream you can fly to the greatest heights." Cas smiled "Sometimes you can even be able to control them. Sometimes you just sit and watch what happens. And sometimes you can relive the best memories. It's an escape"

"But then there are nightmares. The mind plays tricks on you, and you can never open your eyes from it. You are the only one who knows your worst fears."

"Interesting really"


Hey hey hey! Sorry, I was at the beach with no Wi-Fi so I couldn't a chapter. But while I was there I wrote this long chapter so please forgive me. And since I had no Wi-Fi, I couldn't do a lot of research on Pancreas Cancer, so it's just going to be made up stuff here and the rest of the story. Hope you enjoy xoxo.