Chapter 4 – If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you can find out first-hand what it's like to be me.

I sort of just stood there for a little while before walking after Frank into the cafeteria. It kind of annoyed me that he was such a nice guy, in all honesty, I was embarrassed that he'd have to teach me guitar. But I pushed that thought to the back of my mind and strolled into the cafeteria. It was a huge room with circular tables and chairs that you couldn't sit in for too long or your ass would start aching. I glanced around for my usual group of friends and spotted Ray sitting in one of the far corners, his 'fro stuck out like a sore thumb, and began weaving my way around the tables and groups of kids; it was ridiculous how each clique wouldn't talk to anyone outside their little 'group'.
"Hey Gerard" Ray spoke through a mouthful of pasta. I sat down next to him and stole a french-fry off of Bob's plate.
"Help yourself then" Bob muttered under his breath.
"You don't mind really" I joked.
"So how're things?" Ray asked putting his fork down and speaking quieter. He knew I'd been kinda depressed recently, I couldn't help it, I just felt like the world was moving around me and that I didn't really have a place in it.
"Better, I guess. Failing in some subjects" I didn't want to tell them that I was failing music. That would just be too embarrassing.
"Well that'll change if you actually bother coming to school" Bob laughed and playfully hit my arm, in response I threw Ray's tissue at him.
"I saw you talking to that Frank kid" Ray surprised me and suddenly I felt all defensive.
"Umm yea"
"Isn't he friends with Mikey?" Bob directed the question at Ray, which I thought was odd.
"Yea" I answered for him. "I bumped into him and we just got talking" I added.
"He's an amazing guitarist apparently" Ray said.
"Says you!" Ray was the best guitarist I knew, no one could ever beat him, he was like a young Brian May or Jimmy Hendrix. I zoned out after that, Bob and Ray had started some deep conversation about comic books which set me off daydreaming about comic book characters I could create. It was then that I saw Mikey, Frank and some girl sitting together a few tables away from me and as if Frank had noticed me looking over he lifted his head from a sheet of paper in front of him and our eyes met. He beamed at me and I felt my cheeks redden, he probably thought I was staring at him or something. I quickly averted my gaze.
"What about you Gerard?" Bob asked.
"Umm what? Sorry, zoned out" I replied quickly and Bob raised his eyebrows.
"Do you want to go to Lindsey's party this Friday? She said Bob could bring whoever he wants"
"Umm, yea, sure. Sounds good. How'd you get us an invite?"
"Family friend, she wants some huge party so, you can bring Mikey too if you want. But don't let him bring anyone else, she wants a big party but she doesn't want it to get out of hand"
"Which is fair enough" Ray added. The bell rang for the end of lunch and I hadn't even eaten which was unlike me, but, I shrugged it off and put my bag back over my shoulder before standing up.
"Hey guys" A voice called behind me and I spun round to see Mikey standing awkwardly behind me. He waved at Ray and Bob.
"Hey" They both said in unison.
"Hey Mikey, what's up?" I asked and he did a quick nod of his head to hint he wanted to speak to me alone.
"Wait for me guys? I won't be long" I asked Bob and Ray who nodded in reply. I walked to the side of the canteen away from the ears of others.
"What's up?"
"Well, I just thought you wouldn't want me to talk about Frank teaching you guitar in front of Bob and Ray"
"Good call" I smiled at him, he was probably the best brother anyone could ask for.
"Well, I was just going to give you Frank's number, I think you should have it in case he needs to cancel or whatever." He shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out his phone. I handed him mine and absently he added the number.
"Kay, that's it. I'll see you after school?"
"Sure, see you later" I said before walking back towards Bob and Ray.
"Lindsey thinks you're hot" Bob laughed before I even reached the table.
"What? Really?" I asked, shocked that anyone would think I was 'hot'.
"Yea, she just texted me it"
"Well that's weird, tell her, thanks I guess" I laughed and we all began walking out of the cafeteria towards our form room. 'Oh great' I muttered under my breath when I realised we'd have to walk past Zack and his 'minions'. Zack was a complete douche bag. He'd go out of his way to make people
"Oh look who it is" He smiled smugly, obviously pleased that he had the opportunity to upset someone.
"The outcasts" He walked to block our path, I hated jocks.
"I'd rather be myself than follow the crowd and if that makes me an outcast then so be it" I said, proving to him that I'd had enough of his crap, he'd always been a twat to me and I was just about fed up of it.
"You mean you'd rather be a freak?" He laughed.
"And you'd rather be a sleaze ball" I returned.
"What did you say?" He asked punching his hand in a threatening motion.
"That you're a sleaze ball" We'd captured the attention of other students who were now watching our confrontation with curiosity.
"That's it Way. You've been asking for this" And he began to stride over to me, just in time for Bert to show up.
"Hey, Zack, mate, don't waste your time" He came and stood by me. His long hair hanging loose by his shoulders.
"Whatever Bert. I'll get you sooner or later Gerard" And with that Zack walked off.
"Why are you friends with him?" I asked turning to Bert, who was standing next to me.
"My Mom and his Mom are like best friends" He shrugged.
"Come with me to the toilets" Bert grabbed my arm and dragged me into the toilets where he began re-applying his eyeliner.
"I hate these toilets, they always stink of shit" I muttered.
"Yea well, they're the only room on site with mirrors..."
"'And mirrors are very important' yea, you've told me before" I laughed.
"I don't get how you don't like looking at yourself in the mirror"
"Because I don't like what I see" I murmured.
"Shut up Gerard. You're hot" He finished his eyes and turned to face me.
"How do I look?" He asked pouting his lips.
"Hot" I quoted what he's just called me. He looked around the room to see if anyone was around, leant forward, and to my surprise, kissed me.