Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters belong solely to Stephanie Meyer.
Chapter 4-His Presence
BPOV
Jacobs presence is really a surprise. He seems to have a way or a know how to make me feel better. I don't remember the last time I smiled or the last time I laughed. And who knew Jacob could be the one to do that. When he held me in his arms that nagging hole seemed to close slightly. And his warm, inviting smile is like a shining beacon in the roughest of storms. Here I am with my best friend and I feel like he is a freakin miracle worker. Charlie threw some money in our general direction, "Here you two go grab a bite, me and Billy wanna finish up the game." He gave me a brief smile and gentle nod, like he was trying to coax a frightened kitten.
"Dad I really don't feel like............. I stopped as Jacob grabbed my hand, that sad look started to come back on Jacob's face, and I couldn't say no. Guessing he could sense that I would go, he began to drag me towards the door. "Come on Bells what about the Beast? It is getting angry and I know you don't want that. Charlie and Billy looked at each other confused. Billy just shrugged and smiled. Jacob smiled his big smile and said with a sarcastic tone, "Ya want me to put your shoes on or just carry ya?" Give me a minute Jake I need to go upstairs to get my boots and jacket, okay?" As I ran up the stairs, getting further away from Jacob I noticed the hole tearing back open. I gasped as the pain of it set in..
Maybe it is just my imagination, or deprivation of human contact for so long. Could he have this affect on me? Surely not! I hurried back down the stairs, Jake was waiting on me by the door. As I neared him, the closer I got, the more together I felt. I stood as close to him as I could without him getting the wrong idea, or think I was close to crazy. All of the sudden I heard a deep rumble in his chest, the next thing I knew he had me flung over his shoulder and ran with me to my truck. In our close proximity in the small cab of the truck, I could feel the hole literally pull together. Not closing completely. I guess I will always have it, damaged goods, none the less. Nobody in their right mind would want someone as broken as me. But I really wanted nobody but him and he was gone.
Jake shook his head, letting the rain splash me. He shook it like a dog after a bath. "Stop Jake" slapping his shoulder. Jake reached over behind me and slid me over to sit beside him. "Now your in your place, and I am in mine, let's go eat." I could feel the heat radiating off of his body even though he was only wearing a cut off T-shirt and jeans , and it was thirty degrees outside. "Dang Jake do you have a fever or something? YOU-ARE-HOT!!!!" He looked at me grinning but did not answer. I felt like Jacob was hiding something from me but I let it drop. Our silent drive continued, I unintentionally sank sideways like he had an invisible magnet in him. I liked how the closeness made me feel, like I didn't have to hold myself together. Glancing at his face, I noticed his eyes cutting towards me from the side with a slight smile on his lips.
I felt so warm there, pressed against Jake's side, and he was obviously enjoying it, or getting a laugh out of it one. Regardless of the reason I couldn't bare to pull myself away because I knew that it would mean immediate pain. It was weird how Jake, my childhood friend, could hold this special power. I wonder if he has this effect on everyone. Nah, it is probably just me, considering the weird way my brain works. After a short drive to town, we arrived at Grady's Pizza. I didn't want to move away from him, but I knew I had to get out. Jacob reached for the door, his hand resting on the handle.
Jacob turned to stare at me in the face, eyeing me curiously with one eyebrow raised. A lop-sided grin on his face, "Ya know Bells, I like ya being snuggled up to me and all, but I am kind of hungry." He said with a snicker. He noticed my slow reluctance to remove myself from him, I let out a deep sigh as I lifted myself away. "Bells, are you okay? You seem a little distracted. I can go in and order if you don't want to go in." That was definitely a good idea considering Jacob's presence is the only one I needed right now. But I couldn't stand the idea of him leaving me out in the truck alone, to bare the pain. "Yeah, we can order to take it home but I will walk in there with you to order. I would like to see what is on their menu." I had to think of something quick to tell Jacob so he wouldn't get suspicious.
When we finished ordering, we sat at a small table in the corner to wait. Jacob was now fiddling with his hands pushed together on top of the table. I was staring at his hands in kind of a daze, biting my fingernails. He reached up to take both of my hands in one large hand. "Are you sure you are okay Bells?, You look nervous, the way you are gnawing away at your nails." I stopped. "It is just a habit that I have formed recently, I'm okay!" The crease in his forehead remained, as this signaled he really didn't believe me. But he had every right not to believe me. Because truly I was nervous, and I wasn't really okay. As I sat there I realized that I would have to say goodbye to him tonight. Let him go back to LaPush with Billy. Just the thought almost brought tears to my eyes.
We sat there and talked a little about the past when I use to come up here to visit Charlie in the summer. How we use to hang out and play when our dads would get together. "I'm glad I got to see you today, Bella!" "Me too Jake... I...." I didn't want to finish. I looked down, staring into my lap. He lifted my chin so he could read my expression. "Bella, you know you can tell me anything, don't you?" I just nodded slightly. I didn't know if Jacob Black was ready to hear what I wanted to say. That I couldn't stand the thought of him being away from me for a minute because he was holding the pieces of my broken soul together.
"It is just that I haven't been much of a friend to you and I will understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore. I don't really deserve you Jake. You are to good." "Bella I will always be your friend, nothing could ever change that. Please trust me on this, I could never not be a part of your life in some shape or form. As he said this he put his blazing hand on my cheek. This time I did not flinch away from his touch, I pushed my face into his soft hand breathing deeply. I noticed the more intimate and close we were, the more the hole closed. "This is really strange", oh shit! What was meant to be a thought just came out of my mouth. Confused, Jake turned his head slightly to the side, not releasing my face. "What is so strange Bella?" surprise saturating his voice.
Our pizza was ready. He released me quickly to get it. "Let's go, dad is probably waiting for me to get back so we can leave." He said this to quickly and strained. Maybe I had done something to upset him. As we climbed in the truck I sat close to my side, kind of hugging the door. He shut his door with a loud bang and eyed the distance that I put between us. "So, do I smell or something? There is way to much space between us, and anyways I am in my place so why don't you get your pretty little head over here Bells." I slid over closer to him. But we were not quite as close as we were on the way over here. Jacob slid me back over as he did before, closing the gap in between us. "Now, that's better."
It is almost like he knew that I needed his presence. Well his close proximity too. Feeling comfortable with my words, coming out shyly at first "Jake you have really made me feel happy today, spending time with you. I haven't felt happy in a long time. I wanted to say thank you for putting up with me."
"Bella, by the way you make me happy too. We need to do this more often." I nodded into his shoulder. "I would really like that Jake." When we got to my house, we went in and seen that Charlie and Billy were watching the last of the game so we sat down on the couch and started to eat our pizza. "You two didn't want to eat there?" I shot my eyes at Charlie and just shook my head. Trying to give him a little reassurance I smiled , "No we wanted to come back here and irritate you two." After finishing my slice of pizza, and Jake finished off the rest. I leaned against Jacobs shoulder, he was so warm I drifted off to sleep.
