Chapter Four: Entries 97-133

Entry Ninety-seven—

I've done it.

History has been made, boys and girls! I just summoned the Blue Eyes ULTIMATE Dragon.

Beat that, you mutated popsicle-head.

Entry Ninety-eight—

Huh? Huh? Bet'cha can't! Just TRY and summon a monster. I'll have my dragon fry it into a pancake!

Yes, I know pancakes aren't fried. Just shut up and let me have my moment!

Entry Ninety-nine—

Whoa, he's really going to summon a monster?

Hypothesis equals failed.

Entry One Hundred

Lykeomfgwtfh.

Why is he cackling? I see no need to cackle! I expect begging, damn you!

BEGGING!

Entry One Hundred One—

ARE YOU SERIOUS? THAT FURBALL AGAINST MY ULTIMATE DRAGON?

Entry One Hundred Two—

HOLYCRAPWHERE'SMYRITALININEEDITLIKERIGHTNOWBEFOREIGOCOMPLETELYINSANE!

"Uh..Kaiba, people don't use Ritalin any more."

SHUT UP, WHEELER.

You'd be in the exact same position if some midget was mocking YOUR most powerful creature!

Entry One Hundred Three—

Then again, your deck's full of faggoty wannabes.

Entry One Hundred Four—

What the Hell? Are you trying to infect my Ultimate Dragon with LICE? Excuse me, but he's a purebread. So why don't you just go march your little hairball army elsewhere?

Preferably Wheeler's scalp.

Entry One Hundred Five—

Why are they still there? My dragon just attacked them. This can't be right.

OMGOMGOMG.

Entry One Hundred Six—

Calm down, Kaiba..

Let's try again.

Entry One Hundred Seven—

They're STILL there?

DAMN IT.

Entry One Hundred Eight—

What in the name of Hey-Zus is happening? Why do they keep multiplying? Get with the program, you dwarf!

This is a DUEL and NOT Human Sexulaity 101!

Entry One Hundred Nine—

Wait.

My dragon loses 1200 points? Each turn? Just because your outdated caveman has an arrow sticking out of his head?

Can-Not-Com-Pre-Hend.

Entry One Hundred Ten—

For the love of God.

I'm SCREWED.

I'm in deep, deep DEEP shit.

This can't get any worse.

Damn. Damn. DAMN.

Entry One Hundred Eleven—

Poetry © Seto Kaiba.

Entry One Hundred Twelve—

Alright, I'll be flat with you here, Yugi. Pay close attention now. I'm only going to say this ONCE:

I. CANNOT. Lose.

Entry One Hundred Thirteen—

Now that I've got that out of my system..

Onto plan B, folks.

Entry One Hundred Fourteen—

Stare. Grim stare. Grim, penetrating stare.

Oh yes, he's backed into a corner now. One attack and I'll be thrown off this ledge. Falling. Onto the ground. Body hitting the ground. Bones shattering. Blood spewing EVERYWHERE. A various array of insects feasting on my skin like it's Thanksgiving dinner.

So..

What're you going to do now? Do you really want to be needlessly acupunctured by thousands of needles by my rabid fangirls for cutting my life short? Hm? Do you?

DO YOU?

Entry One Hundred Fifteen—

Crap, I better not get labeled as Emo for this.

Or get a restraining order. Heh. Don't wanna go through THAT again.

Nope. NO SIR-EE.

Entry One Hundred Sixteen—

"Attack, Celtic Guardian!"

PFFT.

And people say that I'm heartless? Just LOOK at this guy! He wants me to die!

Entry One Hundred Seventeen—

10.4 seconds left until he attacks.

Time to make a quick will.

Entry One Hundred Eighteen—

To Mokuba (if he gets out Peggy's hands alive. Which he will. Because he's a Kaiba.) I leave KaibaCorp and my entire state.

To Yugi I leave my trench coats in high hopes that he can finally get a new wardrobe.

And finally, to Wheeler, I leave every pair of scissors that I own so that he may be able to do away with that dandellion garden he calls his hair.

Entry One Hundred Nineteen—

LE GASPETH!

Hold that thought!

Entry One Hundred Twenty—

Alleluia! I live!

Entry One Hundred Twenty-one—

Holy Jeebus, midget breakdown.

Entry One Hundred Twenty-two—

Tears. Dramatic fall to the knees. More tears. Staring down at hands. Even more tears.

Angst thy name is Yugi Muto.

Entry One Hundred Twenty-three—

Yeah, I'm just going to attack now and get over with this duel so I can beat Peggy and go home to my computer wife.

'Kay?

Entry One Hundred Twenty-four

W00t. I just won!

Entry One Hundred Twenty-five

He's STILL crying?

Entry One Hundred Twenty-six—

Maybe I should lay off the derisive comments/speech/cackling then.

Nah.

Entry One Hundred Twenty-seven—

"Yugi spared you! He showed you compassion, which is more than you deserved!"

Listen, my dear, I really don't give a damn. He LOST the game. So why don't you go back to cheering in the sidelines…

SOMEWHERE IN PERSIA.

Entry One Hundred Twenty-eight—

"Yugi may have lost one lousy Duel Monsters game, but at least he hasn't lost his heart!"

And this is where I tune out.

Entry One Hundred Twenty-nine—

"And what do you have, Seto Kaiba?"

Let's see here, time to list:

1. I'm wealthier than Bill Gates.

2. Women and men alike CAN'T keep their hands off me.

3. I've been voted Domino City's Most Eligible Bachelor three years in a row, going on four. (But hey, who's counting?)

4. I way taller than your vertically challenged boyfriend.

5. And most importantly…

I DON'T DO LAME FRIENDSHIP SPEECHES.

Entry One Hundred Thirty—

"…"

Yes, I had a feeling that you'd have nothing to say. Just do us all a favor and stick to sucking your boyfriend's—

"KAIBA!"

Whoops, did I say that out loud?

Entry One Hundred Thirty-one—

Now if you don't mind, I'll be leaving. It's time to do what I do best: play the valiant hero and save the damsel in distress.

Who, mind you, is still Mokuba.

Entry One Hundred Thirty-two—

Catch you later, geeks.

Entry One Hundred Thirty-three—

Oh, and Yugi, here's a friendly little tip:

Man up.

For once.


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