AN: Hey another chapter! Yeah! Please enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist
An Out of Body Experience Chapter 4: Flashback Fever
It was leaving time again and Roy went into the backroom to make sure everything in place and locked up, which was Riza's job before the switch. Havoc was bragging how he had a date with a very cute woman.
"You sure it's a woman this time?" joked Breda, who had gotten into headquarters late today.
"Yes!" hissed Havoc at the bad memory. Riza looked up interested.
"I'm curious, anyone going to spill it?" she questioned.
"No, I am not going to be humiliated in front of my superior!" yelled Havoc and he clearly wanted the subject dropped.
"Too late Havoc you already do" said Riza.
Havoc pouted, "fine. But I'm not telling, Breda will"
Breda chuckled, "okay listen up colonel and listen good, I'm going through this fast"
Riza nodded.
"Our friend here" he said while pointing at Havoc, "started getting secret love letters, so of course Havoc being a romantic goof responded to them"
~Flashback~
Havoc was writing feverishly for someone who really did have the hots for him. Breda leaned in close and peaked over his shoulder. He thought maybe he could find something to use for teasing Havoc.
Havoc crossed his arms over the letter and tasked, "You poor loveless fool, you're so jealous because my lover has written to me for a whole month now"
"But you haven't even seen her Jean"
"Read and weep!" he shouted arrogantly. He held up a picture of a beautiful looking girl. She had golden locks, emerald orbs and a warm smile.
"I have to admit she does look kinda good"
"Don't make passes on my Veronica!" Havoc shouted.
Breda had a sweat drop, "umm…right, so are you ever going to meet this 'Veronica'"
"I'm so glad you asked. I'm meeting her in town today by the apple stand"
"Good for you" he smiled, 'It's about time he found someone serious about him'
"You should come to, for moral support"
"Moral support eh?"
"No, I just want to rub it in your face" he started shaking his butt, "I got a girlfriend!"
"Fine!" Breda paused, "But only to see you make a fool out of yourself" he laughed.
"Yah, yah, just wait you'll so be jealous" pouted Havoc.
~End of flashback~
"So Havoc here got all cleaned up and dressed up in a nice suit and all. I was suppose to watch from a distance pretending to read a newspaper"
"This doesn't sound that bad" stated Riza.
"Let me finish colonel" he smirked.
~Back to flashback~
Breda perched himself against a wall pretending to read today's headlines and big stories.
"There she is" smiled Havoc after seeing the back of her head. He run right behind her and noticed she was taller, but he didn't care. He patted her shoulder and froze in shock when she turned around. Her face was the same as the picture expect now she had small blonde fuzzies on her chin.
"You…you..Your face" stuttered Havoc.
"Jean" 'she' smiled, "Oh yes I forgot to shave this morning"
"So you're a man?"
"Of course I am"
That's when finally notice the obvious, that 'Veronica' had a muscular body fit for a male and males clothing. He didn't understand he was sure this was a woman, now clearly 'she' was a man. Love had made Havoc blind.
"But I thought your name was Veronica!?"
'Veronica' sighed, "You're not very bright are you? I told you in the letter my name was Ronnie as in short for Ronald"
Of course after Havoc saw the name as Ronnie he assumed that the name had to be Veronica. Havoc mentally hit himself, he was getting tired of always trying to get out of situations he had created for himself. Never assume. He remembered what his teacher had once told him, "'If you assume, you're making an ass out of you and me.
"This is a big misunderstanding, I thought you were a woman, I am not gay"
Ron sighed, "What a shame, you are good looking and I've never seen you with a woman so I just thought so"
Havoc yelled, "I have tons of girlfriends!"
"Cute and funny" chuckled Ron and he slipped a note into Havoc's front jacket pocket, "Give me a call if you ever change your mind" He smiled and returned to shopping for produce. Havoc just stood there. 'How can people think I'm gay?'
Breda come up behind him and laughed, "You really are an idiot you know right"
"Hey! It's not my fault; he was just a pretty looking guy"
Breda raised an eyebrow, "Maybe you are gay"
"No, no never. I'm a ladies' man"
"Ummmmhmmm"
"Arg I'm going to kill you, don't you tell a soul!"
~End of flashback~
"And I just did" smirked Breda.
"Are you trying to ruin my life" Havoc groaned.
Riza looked at him, "Have you ever considered going out with men?"
"Mustang! You must be joking!"
"Maybe I am and maybe I'm not" laughed Riza, "It's just when I think about it I see more men check you out than women"
"Guys check me out!" he screamed.
"Breda's right you are really slow" realized Riza.
"Who else noticed this?!" demanded Havoc.
Falman raised his hand, "Me, I even made a graph"
"A graph" he hissed.
"I have" commented Fuery.
"Great even the ladies-loser noticed" whined Havoc.
"I'm not a ladies-loser; I just choose not to date"
"Sure you do ladies-loser" Havoc cough talked.
Fuery was getting furious and he never gets angry much. "At I could get some girls all you get is guys!"
"What! No way"
"Yes way, I could get more girls than you"
"You cannot"
Breda shouted, "I think this calls for an office pool!"
Riza hated office pools and gambling. She thought they were stupid and completely unprofessional, but she was now Roy, what would Roy do?
"I agree, whoever takes out the most girls in a week is the winner, you up to it Havoc? Fuery?" said Riza.
"A week!" they both shouted.
"It's realistic"
"Yah, maybe for you Mustang you can get a girl with the flip of your hair" scolded Havoc.
'If only he knew I wasn't Mustang', "You guys pick then"
"How about 3 weeks?" asked Fuery.
"A month!? No way" replied Riza, "I just going to give you a week and a half"
"But that's not much more than what you said before!" shouted Havoc.
"Not up to the challenge hum Havoc" smirked Riza, "I guess you can chicken out and I'll crown Fuery the winner"
"No way, I still in this. Bring it on" Havoc said with fire in his eyes.
It was obvious that Riza's pressuring would cause Havoc to reconsider.
"I think we need some rules" pointed out Falman.
"Yes, so these two, but mostly Havoc don't cheat" chuckled Breda.
"Hey, why do you pin-point me?"
"Come on Havoc, Fuery is a little more trustworthy then you" blurted Breda.
Riza laughed, "Look at this face" she said while grabbing Fuery's face roughly, "Is this the face of a cheater, I think not" she ended and let go of Fuery's innocent looking face.
Havoc muttered, "Just go on with the rules already"
"It has to be a woman" Riza said.
"Havoc" added Breda.
"Shove it!" Havoc screamed.
"It has to be human"
"Fuery" added Breda.
He blushed. It wasn't like he planning on going out with a dog or something like that.
"No family members"
"Shame Fuery you can't ask out your mom" chuckled Havoc.
"…my mother's dead" whimpered Fuery.
There was a dead silence and everyone looked and glared at Havoc for being an insensitive jerk. Havoc felt like he was just gang beat. He didn't mean to make him mourn.
"Umm..Fuery I'm really sorry"
Fuery looked up and smiled, "I can't believe you fell for my mom's dead line"
Havoc was shocked that the "defenseless" and "innocent" Kane Fuery had lied to him and successfully tricked him. He looked around to see his subordinates laughing at him.
"How was I supposed to know" flustered Havoc.
"His mother was at last year's military picnic" Riza said.
'The picnic?' thought Havoc.
~Flashback~
It was mid July; the sun was blazing down on the group of happy military officers and their families. Roy Mustang (who was in his real body a year ago) was barbequing on the grill; he squeezed the bottle of lighter fluid all over the black coals.
"Sir are you sure that is a good idea?" questioned Riza Hawkeye (she was in her own body too)
"Lieutenant Hawkeye are you doubting your superior?" Roy asked.
Riza again looked at the grill and thought of spontaneous combustion.
"Yes sir I think I am"
"Hawkeye, trust me nothing could go wrong"
After hearing those well known words from his mouth she knew there was trouble. Being a showoff Roy slipped on his gloves and snapped his fingers, which cause a small spark. Though just as Riza predicted there was way too much lighter fluid and the grill set into flames.
"Ahhh..Sh.." he stopped as the fire got bigger, "Water! Water! I need it!"
In a rush Riza took the punch bowl off the table and throw its contents all over the fire and Roy. It put out both the fire and Roy's ego.
"I meant the fire, no me!" Roy fumed.
"I think you needed a cool off too sir" she raised her voice, "You're the Flame Alchemist and you can't even handle lighting a grill!"
Riza then help Roy clean off the Kool-aid and the crowd around them was insane. Hughes was there with Gracia and little baby Elecia, Armstrong was striking some poses shirtless, Falman was explaining to Schiezka how hotdogs were made and even Ed and Al were there. Ed had just finish watching Mustang burn down the grill.
"Ha! He deserves it, stupid bas…"
"Brother be nice" interrupted Al. Al was watching everyone excited, he loved picnics! Even though he looks like he could be a man he's truly a kid behind the metal. Ed smiled at his brother, which was the only reason he came to this stupid picnic.
"Brother can we smash a watermelon?"
"Al, where are we going to get…?" Al took off his head and pulled out a watermelon and bat, "a watermelon" Ed finished.
"What else do you keep in there!?"
"That's for me to know and for you to wonder"
Ed gapped, 'Al keeps secrets from me?'
"Me first" he said while putting the watermelon into the grass.
"Wait Al now that I think about it maybe this isn't such a good idea" Ed said, but it was too late, Al hit the watermelon with all his strength causing it to explode all over Ed and himself. Ed turned towards him with an I'm going to kill you look.
Al stepped back, "I'm sorry Ed"
"Sorry, sorry?" Ed paused and started laughing.
"Hun?" Al asked confused.
"You're such a pest" Ed said and threw a chunk of watermelon at him.
"Look who's talking!" Al threw some at Ed now. The two brothers laughed and continued with their watermelon fight while Havoc sat alone.
"Everyone has someone, when do I get my soul mate?" and right after he said that he spotted a pretty woman standing all alone. She had long black hair that framed her which had a lot of make on it.
"Hello pretty lady" said Havoc as he walked to her. The woman seemed shocked, looked around and then pointed to her.
"Yes you silly" chuckled Havoc.
"Oh my…" she spoke softly and blushed, "Am I really that beautiful"
"Of course" flirted Havoc.
The woman was thrilled and they talked on, but she never did accept his number.
~End of flashback~
"What does your mother look like? I might remember her" asked Havoc.
"Well, she has really long hair and it's black"
Havoc's eyes widen, "And she wears a lot of makeup?"
"Yup, see, you do know her" replied Fuery.
Havoc groaned, "I don't just know her, I flirted with her"
"What on my mom!?"
"Wow Havoc how pathetic that you had to hit on a married woman" joked Riza.
"She looked younger, I swear"
"Sure she did and I'm a magical unicorn" Breda said sarcastically.
Falman interrupted, "Remember the rules, I would really like to go home today"
"No going out with Fuery's mom!" yelled Breda.
Riza laughed, "Knock it off, we got to finish this before Hawkeye comes, you know what she will do" she joked, 'I would so kill them'.
Everyone got silent thinking about what torturous things Riza Hawkeye could do to them.
"Your date has to be at least two hours to be counted" Riza added.
"Who's placing bets?" asked Breda.
Falman answered, "I will put fifty on Havoc"
"I'll go with fifty on Fuery then" Breda said, "what about you Mustang?"
Riza thought hard about who had a better chance at winning; would it be Havoc or Fuery?
"I put two fifty on neither of them winning" Riza stated proudly.
"What!?" they all screamed.
"What's going on here?" asked Roy, who had just came back.
All of the subordinates jumped at the same time and stuttered, "N…n..Nothing!"
Roy smiled, "Good, come on Roy your walking me home" he said while pulling Riza out.
"Ummm...guys lock up the front door for me!" she yelled and went out with Roy.
"That was weird" Havoc stated.
"Why's that?" asked Fuery.
"Hawkeye was in a good mood"
"She was!"
"She was also in a hurry to walk home with Roy" Falman said.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Breda.
"Probably" answered Havoc, "I think this calls for Operation Get Mustang and Hawkeye Together!"
"When did we make that up?" questioned Falman.
"Just now!"
"But isn't it against the law" asked a worried Fuery.
"What the Fuhrer doesn't know won't hurt him" replied Havoc.
Breda nodded, "I'm in, anyone else?"
"You know I am" said Havoc as he lit a cigarette in his mouth.
"Certainly" said Falman.
Fuery hesitated, "Only, because they need each other and they can't see it"
"This is perfect!" exclaimed Havoc, "I have someone in mind who would be willing to help" he finished while picking up the phone. "Yah" he said over the phone and exhaled smoke, "It's time Hughes"
-end of chapter, to be continued-
AN: Yes, a longer chapter then usual, sorry if there wasn't enough Roy and Riza moments in there, I promise much more next chapter, which includes there walk home. I need to thank my reviewers once again for they rock. Thanks Buffybest, little miss clueless, silvergothicsweettooth, Tsukali-chan, Tate Freak, Axis Bold As Love, Dragonridingattorney43, Athena's Heart, and yuuram shibuya von Bielefeld! More and more each day, everyone should follow their example and REVIEW!! Also I probably won't be able to update until Monday or sometime that week. Please keep reading and review. Good night and good luck.
