Sharon returned home, and that Thursday evening, she didn't sit on the stairs, but she did sit in her car to watch and make sure Andy was still at his meeting. He was; she watched him get in his car and head home. She was glad that while she'd caused him such heartache, he was getting back on track. Sharon decided that she really needed to regain Andy's friendship. Anything else, she knew, was out of the question, long gone. Besides, she had two tiny beings making her life very uncomfortable. She'd had another appointment that morning, and amazingly, everything looked good. With the lack of care right away, even though Sharon had bought and started taking prenatal vitamins long before she was openly ready to acknowledge her growing problem, the babies were doing well. She'd had all the specialized testing, and remarkably, neither twin had any issues. Her blood pressure was slightly up, but still within normal range. Sharon had been walking everyday, not too much, but enough to get some exercise. She had already messed things up enough; she didn't need preemies with problems to add to the mix. So, while she wasn't at all at peace with adding two more children, two more Raydors ironically to her life, that was where she was-trying to get the babies here in the healthiest way possible.
So, in her attempt to mend fences with Andy, which was a very basic term for the horrendous damage she had done to him, she came up with a plan. She would check on him every Thursday evening she was in town, and on Friday night, she would stop by his house. Friday used to be their standard date night, well before they were ever actually calling it date night. Friday was there night, even after she'd trashed their relationship to pieces, she still thought of him every Friday night. It didn't matter what they'd do, but they'd spent it together for the last four years now almost. Movies, dinner out, dinner in, Nicole's house, watching Rusty play chess-anything together on Friday nights. When there was a case, they always made sure to text each other at some point on those evenings, usually the same message, "Miss our Friday night." So, since Sharon was going to be back in town a little more in the off season, she decided to go to Andy's house. He could throw her out, lock her out, but she was going to try. She pulled up at 6:30, which was a pretty common time they'd get together. She'd already eaten, knowing that things could go badly right away. Andy was home; his car was in the driveway, and his lights were on. This time, she decided to just enter the house. She'd always done that, and the last time she'd been here, it felt odd knocking, but then again, she didn't feel she had the right to just walk in. So, she entered, being bold, but she didn't know what else to do. The tv was on, and it smelled like he had a lasagna in the oven. He wasn't anywhere in the living area, so she just sat down, and to no surprise, there was a baseball game on. Sharon didn't take the recliner this time, knowing it was Andy's favorite chair, and to be honest, it smelled so much like him, it hurt her.
Sharon had been sitting there for a couple of minutes when she heard Andy walk down the hall. He must have been in his bedroom. She knew the layout by heart; she'd been here so much over the years. She glanced up as Andy walked into the room, and she heard him sigh as he spotted her. A shower. He'd gotten a shower, something she knew he liked to do after a long day. He had always said it felt good to wash off the dirt bags of the day when he got home, and looking at him now, she saw he was settling in for the night-sweats, LAPD t-shirt, oh he looked so nice. Andy ignored Sharon's presence and went to the kitchen, not saying a word to her. She heard him working away, getting his dinner ready. So far, he hadn't screamed at her, and he hadn't thrown her out. She watched as he got the casserole out of the oven, scooped some on his plate, got a glass of water, and sat down in his recliner. Again, not a word was spoken. Sharon kicked off her shoes, flats these days because who was she kidding anymore? She kicked off her flats and got comfortable, alluding to the fact she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon unless he kicked her out. Sharon remained there until late again, and throughout the whole night, Andy never said one word to her. Sharon never said a word either. The game ended; the news came on, and again, as it was close to midnight, Sharon stood, walked to the door, and said, "Good night, Andy."
After that weekend, Sharon had a quick trip to Seattle that week, but she was back before the end of the week. Her trip to Denver was coming up, and she wasn't looking forward to that. She'd have to see Steve again, and that was going to be an awkward mess. So, she made her trip to Seattle and was back on Wednesday. What surprised her was that on Wednesday, she received a call from Julio. Julio, the sweet guy. He had no idea the details; he'd told her exactly that, so he didn't know about the twins, but he knew there was some sort of mess. Julio had kept in touch; he'd made no secret of it, telling Provenza he was checking on the Captain, as he still called her, while Provenza took care of Andy. Sharon had been home from Seattle about two hours when Julio called.
"Ma'am," he started, "you need to hear this. There's been a shooting at the courthouse. It's this trial-terrible shooting. Chief Taylor is dead. Lieutenant Flynn took out the shooter. We're working it now, and we'll get it wrapped up, but I thought you needed to know," he said.
***OKAY AT THIS POINT, AUTHOR NOTE-AGAIN, THIS IS A/U, BUT ADDING SOME SHOW STORYLINE EVEN THOUGH TIMING IS SLIGHTLY OFF
Sharon caught her breath in her throat as she talked through things with Julio. He assured her Andy was fine; the rest of the team was fine, but Taylor, Taylor was dead. She thanked Julio for telling her, and he promised to text her when they wrapped up. She knew Andy would have a rough time, even if he had taken out a dirt bag as she was sure he'd say.
Sharon thought about what she could do for Andy, and while it was mid-afternoon, she was sure he wouldn't get home until late. So, she decided to make a pot of soup, his favorite salad, and a cheesecake he liked that she always made. She'd at least make sure he ate, and she wanted to make sure he didn't drink again. Once it was ready, Sharon waited, and when Julio finally sent her a text that they were wrapping up, she drove over to Andy's.
Andy wasn't home yet when she arrived. She didn't think he would be, but she put the soup on and put the salad and cheesecake up. This time, she decided not to stay. She'd leave everything for him, but she knew he needed his space. Besides, she knew he would go to his meeting on Thursday, and she planned to come by again on Friday, so she left. She waited down the street in her car, and 15 minutes later, she saw Andy pull in. Confident she did what she could for the day, she drove home.
Sharon didn't hear from Andy that night, which wasn't a surprise, but she'd had a little hope he'd at least text her. She looked back, and her last text from him had now come months ago. It made her so sad; she missed his friendship, well everything, but missed being able to talk to him, more than anything. She was lonely, and yes, she knew she'd done it to herself. Rusty was rarely around anymore; he was with Gus or at school a lot, and she knew he wasn't happy with things. None of the kids were. If anything good had to come out of the mess, at least the kids were all talking to each other. She knew that much. Ricky was checking in with Rusty regarding Sharon, even if he wasn't speaking to her. Emily was only replying to text messages. Oh, she'd messed up with everyone.
So, as Sharon sat alone in her condo, hoping that Andy was at least eating a decent meal, she decided to start writing him letters, things she wanted to tell him every day. She decided she would write him a letter everyday, detailing her thoughts, and then each Friday when she was home, she'd leave the letters. She didn't know if he'd ever read them, but she'd at least leave them. He'd written her such a wonderful love letter from the hospital, and after that, he'd left them all over the condo for her when he was recovering. She could do the same now, even if the feelings weren't reciprocated.
So, again on Thursday, she was glad to see he was once again at his meeting. On Friday, she got to his house promptly at 6:30 again. She knew if he really didn't want her there, he wouldn't be home or he'd lock the door/throw her out, so she took that as progress. Now that she was becoming a creature of habit, she figured he didn't mind she was around.
This time, when she walked in, Andy was already seated in his recliner eating dinner. He didn't even glance up at her as she entered, and this time, instead of going right to the couch, she walked to the kitchen. She was hungry, and she knew Andy better than anyone; there was no doubt he had made dinner. He had, well sort of. She found her soup, reheated on the stove, and there was still some left. So, she effortlessly worked her way around his kitchen, which she still knew like the back of her hand. She got herself a bowl of soup, found there was still some of her pasta salad as well as cheesecake, so she made up her plate. She sat on the couch, and once again, she sat there all evening in silence. This time, when it was time to go, she got up, cleaned up her plate, and she left. It took everything she had not to use the bathroom while she was there, which was a problem that was getting increasingly worse, but she was intent on not moving once she reached that couch every Friday. This time, when she left, she said, "Good night, Andy. I'm going to write you a letter each day, letting you know what I'm thinking. Read them if you want or don't, but I'll leave them here on your entryway table.
It took everything she had that night not to ask about Taylor. Oh, it killed her inside knowing that Andy had to be affected by it. Major Crimes had been on the news; that much she had seen. Julio had let her know the funeral was going to be held in two weeks, which was a long time off, but Taylor's family had some travel arrangements to make to all get there. Sharon went home, where she curled up, and rubbed her babies as she tried to sleep. They were such innocent little things, and yet she still had no reason to be excited about them, happy about things, or anxious for their arrival. Their arrival, whenever it would come in September, would add a new layer of hurt to the mess she'd already created, an even more visible one than was already there.
Sharon did some shopping over the weekend, mostly for some new clothing for herself. Since the day she'd wandered around the baby store, she hadn't been back, and she wasn't ready to do so yet. Her trip to Denver was on Tuesday, and she was due back on Friday afternoon, giving her time to get to Andy's again for the evening. By Monday, she had packed and was ready for Denver. She wasn't ready for the phone call she got.
"Sharon, it's Fritz," he said into the phone.
"Fritz! Hi, this is a surprise. What can I do for you?" she asked.
"Listen Sharon, I know you heard about Taylor. It's just devastating to everyone here, such a loss," he told her.
Sharon nodded, "Yes, Fritz. I heard. I'm glad no one else was injured and that Andy could take him out, but I just can't get over all of it. So senseless," she sighed.
"Yes, but that brings me to my call. Sharon, I know you left the LAPD, but I've been asked to call you. Seems as if we have an opening for an Assistant Chief right now. They want me to do it, but I don't want to leave my current job, so they asked for an appropriate replacement candidate. Sharon, I'd like you to take the job, that is if we could possibly lure you back from your NFL job," he said.
Sharon gasped as she grabbed her stomach. Before she could say anything, Fritz continued, "Now, this would be an Assistant Chief job, I promise. Yes, you would get the promotion from the start. I know that was part of the problem when you took over Major Crimes. We know you are taking your retirement, but I already spoke to HR, and they promise they can work all that out. Sharon, it's a huge pay raise, and while I know it isn't what you were making with the NFL, I hope you will consider it."
Sharon cleared her throat, "Fritz, I would very much like to consider it yet. Things with the NFL aren't working out like I had hoped. Before I get any further, I need to tell you something, so you might want to sit down…"
Even after Sharon spilled her story, well most of it-the part that affected a job right now-that she was pregnant late in life, Fritz still offered her the job. He explained that he'd never known her not to be able to handle anything, and that if she was needing a reason to stop traveling, this job was it. It was a much safer job, the irony not lost on why she was replacing the previous occupant of the job, but it would give her much more regular hours, access to a daycare, and even back in the building she didn't know she'd missed so much. It would also put her closer to Andy and Major Crimes, all things she wanted. Once again, she'd be Andy's boss, but not his direct one, so she didn't see it as a problem. The only hurdle was her contract with the NFL, which she suspected they'd be glad not to renew. She knew that's what Steve would say, at least. They'd given her a one-year contract, partly so both sides could see how things would go. Seeing as she was almost at the end of that anyway, and she'd done an exceptional job for them, even with her current situation, she thought it would work out. That put a new light on her trip to Denver, and suddenly she was excited to go.
Sharon spent both the flight there and home writing her letters to Andy for the week. She explained the job; she knew he wouldn't talk to her in person, but she hoped he'd read about it. With the sudden loss of Taylor, Fritz and Sharon had agreed she'd start on Monday, that is if the NFL was okay with her leaving. They had been more than fine, noting that her new babies would not allow her the travel flexibility like she'd once had. So, Sharon found herself happy for the first time in months. She was finally getting back to the LAPD, starting in a stable job, taking a promotion, and she'd now have a stable home life for the twins. If only other things were that simple.
Sharon arrived home Friday afternoon, enough time to drive to Andy's by 6:30. She went straight there, not even going home first. There was not point; Rusty and Gus were out, and she felt that a conversation regarding Rusty and Gus was coming soon. She felt like he was about ready to move out, not that it surprised her, but it would be a giant step for Rusty, leaving the home he'd come to love.
Sharon arrived at Andy's at 6:45, going through the same motions. She walked in, Andy sighed, and he continued to look at the tv and not her. She walked to the kitchen; she was starving, and she found another casserole out of the oven. She made a plate and reclaimed her spot on the couch. Baseball was on again, and that went the rest of the evening. When she couldn't stand it anymore, Sharon made her way to the bathroom. Gone were the days she could make it all evening; the twins were wreaking havoc on her bladder nowadays, and she was already getting uncomfortable with this pregnancy. Her size, well, her size was huge already, quite the opposite of Emily and Ricky. She didn't know if that was all the fault of twins or the fault of having a different father to her babies. Regardless, she was huge and uncomfortable.
When Sharon walked back toward the living room, she spotted something she hadn't seen. Well, to her defense, she was coming at the kitchen counter from a different angle, but as she got closer, she saw an open box. When she got next to the counter, she drew in her breath. It was the engagement ring Andy had tried to give her months ago, all in its beautiful glory. Solitaire, princess cut, classy and simple-perfect for Sharon. It was placed there, by his pile of mail, so something he obviously had put there and she hadn't noticed it among the mail.
"Why is this there?" she asked, turning toward him with the box open. This had been the first conversation she'd actually attempted with him in weeks.
From where Andy was sitting, he could see what she was holding up, so he got up, walked to her, and snatched it from her, "It's a reminder to not start drinking again, regardless of the mess my life has become," he bellowed at her. "Case you hadn't noticed, I've had a bit of a rough time. This ring, this beautiful ring that carried so much hope, reminds me that you are in an even bigger mess, so while things with me are bad, it could always be worse," he snapped again, smacking the box back on the counter. With that, he turned and walked back to his chair and sat down. It was only then, she noticed, that none of the bottles of alcohol were still there. Come to think of it, they hadn't been there the last couple times she'd been there. Oh, Andy. She had hurt him so, so badly, more than she could ever imagine.
Sharon just nodded to herself and sat down again, rubbing circles on the sides of her stomach. The game ended, and when she got up to leave, she got out her letters of the week, most she'd written on the plane. When she left, she turned, "Good night, Andy. I've left you letters for each day this week. I hope you'll read them. There's some stuff in there I wanted you to know, especially this week," and as she put them down, she noticed last week's letters sat there, untouched.
Monday morning, Sharon arrived at work very early. She'd asked for Fritz to meet her before 7:00, so when she officially began at 8:00, she was ready. She'd only told Fritz she was pregnant, and that sadly, she and Andy weren't together. Fritz, being the great guy he was, hadn't pried, but had only asked if her taking the job would be an issue with Andy. She had assured him it wouldn't, and Fritz had left it at that. Fritz was still visibly surprised to see a very pregnant Sharon come into work. It was early June, and she was now almost at 25 weeks, which with each passing week, she was breathing a sigh of relief. The babies were getting stronger, and they were closer to being able to survive.
Sharon met Fritz, being the extreme professional she had always been. She had to admit-she did look quite absurd right now with a weapon on her and a protruding belly. Fritz ran through things, but luckily, Sharon was so familiar with everything, her "orientation" didn't take any time at all. Sharon knew the biggest surprise would be going into Major Crimes, which she planned to do right away. They had not been alerted to the change of command yet. Well, they sort of had. She'd detailed the job to Andy in her letter, but she had no idea if he'd read it. Fritz said he would speak to Provenza right away, who had taken over for Sharon. Sharon had yet to meet the new detective, Wes Nolan, who had come on board recently after an undercover stint, but Fritz told her he was good. So, she was excited and nervous at the same time-to see old friends but to expose what almost a year away had done. She had a feeling her pregnancy was going to be quite the shock, and even worse, the fact Andy wasn't the father was going to be the talk of the LAPD. For now, Sharon was owning her mistakes; she couldn't change it, and she'd have to face it sooner than later. Sooner was less than an hour away.
