To anyone witnessing Ziva's mood it would seem she was agitated in a manner that was a precursor to seriously hostile behavior. The more learned eye would know that she was doing everything in her power to allow anger to overshadow fear, guilt and tremendous self-loathing. She had put her faith and trust in the wrong person once again and undoubtedly ruined the only chance she ever had at a normal existence. In the four months she had been away Ziva had only done one thing. She had undone all of the emotional progress she'd made the last four years. They were what a family truly was with all the roles filled, the good and bad times, and most of all the love. In one instance of doubt and misplaced judgment she had destroyed it all. Even though her heart wanted it all back she, in good conscience, knew she didn't deserve it. What she did deserve was the mistrust and anger she knew must be bubbling at the surface of each of her "family" members. It was why she wouldn't talk to Tony on the plane, wouldn't return McGee's phone calls, and dodged Ducky's heartfelt looks. If only Gibbs was as easy to put off. He wasn't pushing for in depth discussion, but he wouldn't be completely ignored either. This simple truth is what had Ziva pacing in front of her room.
When the NCIS issued vehicle pulled up her back was slightly to it in a half turn. The slamming door brought her face-to-face with Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Pissed was an understatement as a description for his mood.
"Ziva, let's go."
"Gibbs I know what you…"
"You have no idea about anything I'm thinking or what I want to do believe me Officer David!" He wanted to hold on to his patience and leave her time to work things out in her head and come to him when she was ready, but his gut was telling him something else was going on. He needed to act on instinct.
"I appreciate what you did for me but I cannot stay in your home. Please respect that and leave me here."
Moving away from his car and into his former agent's face Gibbs responded in kind doing nothing to mask his gruffness. "I wouldn't make another request like that Ziva remember where it got you the last time."
"There are things going on that you cannot fix. I am not sure you would even be interested in fixing them if you could."
"Long drawn out discussion is more Ducky's thing then mine. You feel you need to do something on your own David then you do it, but I'm putting you on a clock."
"What does that mean?" They had been standing nearly two feet apart. Slowly Ziva put more space between them as she moved closer to the door.
"My house zero seven hundred, no excuses." Moving in again, "I saw your shadow. You need to deal with your father before there's an international incident… or another one."
There was nothing she could say. She wasn't really surprised he knew what was going on. Even Abby and Tony believed he had 'super' powers. He got in his car and Ziva went back inside both shocked and relieved that he was gone, but thoroughly confused why he was so cooperative. When Leroy Jethro Gibbs gave a command anything less than absolute obedience without damn good cause was the expectation. He must have known what she needed the minute he set eyes on her because it was the rarest of occasions when he backed off and let the other person have their way... at least for a little while.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Going back into her room an emotionally fragile Ziva gulped in breath after breath to re-steady her nerves. For some reason she was shaking. Gibbs leaving was exactly what she had wanted, yet she was feeling abandoned once again. The only way to get past all of this mess was to detach herself from her father, Mossad and everything to do with her past. Slowly she began to unpack the backpack Abby had prepared for her. Her intent had been to stay, but Ziva David was no fool and knew that on most occasions Gibbs' intent won out so, she had followed his order and kept her things neatly packed.
Once she was done Ziva summoned her inner warrior one more time and walked out to the front gate of the base. There was something she had to do. She noticed the out of place dark colored sedan immediately. Clearly knowing she was being watched was part of the plan. Knocking on the window Ziva steeled her resolve. When the window came down she reached inside in one fluid movement crushing her forearm against the man's larynx.
Hissing she said, "This ends right now! I will not be bullied or harassed another day… not in Israel and certainly not here. Now, take my message back to Itzhak, my father and anyone else who thinks what I do from here on out is any of Mossad's business."
Barely able to suck in air the driver of the car simply nodded. When Ziva finally pulled back from him his hands flew to his neck to loosen his tie. "You don't get to say how this plays out Officer David."
"…and neither do you, so you make sure the message gets back to my father. Tell Eli I will be back in touch when I am good and ready. He has not been overly interested in reaching out to me before so now he can just wait until I am good and ready."
Shaking his head the Officer disengaged the brake, slipped the vehicle in gear and began to pull away from the curb. Ziva kicked the car as it moved closely in front of her.
~*~*~*~*~
Not having the desire to turn on the television or the radio Ziva had tried sleeping, then reading, all to no avail. Checking her phone several times she read the many texts from Abby and noted all the voice-mail messages left by Palmer, McGee and again Abby. Only Tony had not bothered to call, well him and Gibbs. Tony did everything like his mentor including not communicating when the other person wasn't ready. She missed the sound of his voice, although she was loathe admitting it and wished that he'd have at least made an effort.
Enough time had passed for her to be certain that her message had been received at the Embassy and by her father. The tail would either be completely gone or much more discrete. Without a computer she had to go old school and check the phone book for what she was looking for. Grabbing her back she left her room finally settled in at least one decision.
~*~*~*~*~
He had been up since zero five hundred. Showered, dressed and determined to at least get some measurements for his newest boat project. Tony had been ordered to make sure he and McGee was in on time and not to harass Agent Filmore at least until he came in to make sure things didn't get out of control. Of course when his Senior Field Agent asked why he'd be in late the older agent declined a response then barked out the order that he wasn't to be called unless there was a body. Begrudgingly Tony agreed living his bed far earlier then he had intended knowing if he was a millisecond late McPunctual would rate him out.
As time moved on and Gibbs got slightly caught up in his work he neglected to immediately notice how late Ziva was for their meeting. Next to McGee Ziva was the most punctual person on his team. He didn't think for one minute that she wouldn't show. Everyone on team Gibbs knew what disobeying direct orders led to with him. He also wasn't worried because he had already spoken to Leon, to let him know to expect Ziva, and the Embassy tail was officially off duty. There was still no word from Eli, but Ziva would have to deal with her father on her own. He needed to keep her safe so she could heal emotionally. That was as far out as he was willing to think for now.
Hearing footsteps he turned and looked into the eyes of his former agent. It was the most settled he had seen her eyes and body in days. Maybe just maybe she was on the mend even if it was only on the surface.
She came in speaking at rapid fire. He figured it was nerves and didn't interrupt.
"… I apologize for being late…" Seeing the look he gave she knew to stop the apology midway. She needed to get to what she really came to say before her resolve dissolved into self-pity and loathing again. Somewhere during the night Ziva had made up her mind and she was determined to get her life back together. That fresh start would only come to pass with the blessing of the man before her. Handing him the tightly wrapped present in her hand she said the hardest of things she needed to get out.
"I wanted to say thank you Gibbs…."
