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Last time we saw how Allison Lyn made her first field trip with her adoptive parents. Probably some of you asked yourselves why they still keep her in dark about her mother's true nature. I really have no idea, but this chapter is going to change that.
Allison Lyn Connor – Chapter 4
"Cameron? Are you fidgeting?"
"No, I am not! I'm just a little … nervous? Is that a correct word?"
"Sure it is! But you're still fidgeting!"
Cameron shot John a murderous look, one, who would freeze blood in his veins a few years ago. But now he knew that she was just trying to act as human as possible, even by showing him how she was annoyed over his remarks and there was nothing cold behind those beautiful brown eyes of hers, regardless of the stare he was right now at the receiving end of. He even found it cute how she could show her annoyance with simple looks and expressions.
Today was the day they were going to explain to Allison Lyn the truth about her mother. And Cameron was definitely downplaying her emotions when she said she would be a little nervous. She was more than just a little nervous. She was frightened and was actually fidgeting in her seat next to John.
Few hours ago …
"Cameron, it will be OK! She will still love you!"
Cameron hung her head and allowed John to take her hands and gently glide his thumbs across her knuckles. "Do you really believe that, John?" She looked at him with big eyes in which sadness, fear and hope mixed in equal intensity.
They decided to tell Allison that her mommy was a machine and Cameron was reluctant to believe everything was going to be all right after her daughter knew that the person she clearly accepted as her mommy was not human.
John sighed. They have been discussing this topic for more than an hour now and he was slowly getting impatient. No matter how much he loved Cameron, he couldn't understand that she was being so stubborn in her conviction Allison Lyn would deject her after finding out about her. "Look, Cameron! First: she loves you deeply and it won't change just because you're not human. Hell, even my mom learned to love you, even though she had always been the most passionate machine hater ever." He stopped for a moment, thinking about something then grinned barely perceptively. "Well, Derek could top her hate but even he learned to like you. Second: Ally never heard of killer machines, she never saw the terminators and she has no idea what Skynet is. For her, machines are just a part of her life." He grinned as he remembered how his daughter liked a small robot Cameron bought her few months ago. "Just think of how she treats Mr. Robbie!"
Cameron looked into her husband's eyes and involuntarily grinned slightly. She had been with Allison Lyn in a mall as she saw the little robot, running around in the store, bumping into buyer's feet and apologized in metallic voice every time it occurred, quickly scurrying away, just to bump into someone else.
In that moment she had an idea. If Allison Lyn, who was looking at the small machine almost enchanted, could see that robots and machines are good and funny, she might not be averted to her after she'd find out about what was under her mommy's skin.
"Would you like to have this robot, Allison Lyn?" She bowed to her daughter, who couldn't tear her eyes from the little scurrying and talking machine.
"Really? I could have him?" Allison Lyn's eyes were big and a hint of surprise in them told Cameron that she would. She noticed that her daughter named the little machine 'him' instead of 'it'. Maybe this could work?
"Of course, Allison Lyn. I think he's sweet."
They got the little robot and before they returned home, Allison Lyn already named him as Mr. Robbie.
Hope reflected in Cameron's eyes and John finally got the impression he was getting through her thick skull and was slowly beginning to persuade her everything would be all right. He smiled at her reassuringly. "Right, Cameron! You made the right decision to have gotten that toy. Now Ally really accepts that even machines can be friendly and lovable."
Despite the fact that she was slowly warming to the idea that letting her daughter know wasn't such a big mistake, Cameron was still far from being persuaded. "No one liked me before."
John looked offended. "That's not true! I always liked you!" A sideways glance he received from his wife and slightly raised eyebrow caused him to almost flinch and hurriedly explain further. "Yeah, I know! I didn't show it then. But deep down I have not only liked, but probably loved you from the first moment I saw you." Then he straightened up a bit. "Besides … that's not the point, Cameron. Tell me, who dislikes you now?"
An argument, Cameron had problems denying. In fact, everyone liked her; the ones who knew what she was and the ones, who had no idea of her mechanical nature as well. So she scrunched her face in not exactly convincing display of her dissatisfaction. "OK, but that doesn't mean that Alli …"
"Yes, it does!" John cut her off with now clearly impatient voice, but calmed down almost immediately. "I'm sorry Cam. I didn't mean to yell at you it's just … I'm sick and tired of you playing down your importance every time it comes to this. Ally is a very smart kid and she loves you unconditionally. She will perhaps be stunned for a moment, but she'll definitely love you just as much after we tell her. Have faith in her!"
Back to present …
"Mommy, daddy!" A happy yell from the door preceded the appearance of a six year old Allison Lyn, who dashed across the room like a small whirlwind towards her parents. Sarah, who brought her here, remained standing at the door and gave John an understanding nod. He had told her before that today they would tell Allison Lyn about the true nature of her mommy and she took the little girl out for few hours, allowing Cameron and John to prepare for the probably most difficult task in their lives.
John nodded back and saw how his mother disappeared, closing the door behind her. No matter how much she had fought with herself to accept Cameron in the past, she now felt her fear and tenseness, like only a parent could. Cameron might have been sent to them from the future, she might be a cyborg, an artificial form of life, but now she was like a daughter to Sarah. I've come a long way from hating tin miss like any other terminator! Gee, I'm now even thinking of her in terms of daughter! Not daughter in law, but daughter! Am I still the Sarah Connor I used to be? Or am I turning into a mushy, gooey granny, falling for every trick that my granddaughter and her cyborg mommy play on me? She sighed and shook her head in defeat, knowing that she was both, but liked the latter more.
Allison Lyn was meanwhile already nestled between her parents, not knowing how to enclose them both simultaneously into her affection, trying to tell them everything she saw on her trip to the mall together with granny Sarah, failing to notice the blank face of her mother.
Cameron instantly went rigid as she heard her daughter coming back home. Her face lost all expression and once again, probably for the first time in years, she was just sitting stock still and her face revealed absolutely nothing. A perfect terminator face!
John meanwhile hugged his daughter and cast Cameron a quick glance. He saw her rigid posture, her hands, neatly folded in her lap and he could see that she was scared. No, scared was not the right expression. She was terrified! He knew that he should begin so he sighed deeply, before he turned to his daughter: "Allison Lyn? Mommy and I, we have something very important to tell you."
Allison Lyn stopped her hurried talking in an instant and her eyes shot from his father's serious face towards her mother's totally blank face. "Mommy?" Her voice was tiny, almost frightened. She never saw her mommy like this before.
Cameron's virtual heart tore at the sound of her daughter's voice. Her face suddenly scrunched in a tormented mask. "I'm sorry, Allison Lyn."
Allison Lyn's face lost its merry expression and her eyes instantly filled with tears. "Mommy?" What would my mommy be sorry for? Is something wrong?
Seeing her daughter's teary eyes, Cameron's eyes became dangerously wet too. "Allison Lyn, we really have to tell you something. But … don't ever forget that I love you! No matter what, that will never change!" She enveloped her daughter in a tight hug, feeling her small arms encircling her back. She inhaled deeply … what a human gesture, completely unnecessary! … "Ally, don't ever forget how much I love you. No matter what!"
Allison Lyn felt conflicted. Why does my mommy speak so strange? I know that she loves me! And why did she use a nickname for me? She always calls me Allison Lyn! She tightened her grip on Cameron. "I love you mommy. I know you're not my biological mother, but I love you. I really do!"
What a tear jerker! Even John felt his eyes becoming wet as he looked at his two women, two women that meant life to him. He reached for them and pulled them both simultaneously in a hug. "Oh, dear!" Cameron's use of diminutive didn't escape his attention and he understood that this was extremely important for Cameron. She had never before used a nickname for their daughter. As a matter of fact, she always showed that she disliked when they all used different forms of nicknames for the little girl.
For a second all three remained hugged, and then John slowly tore himself away from this expression of family love. He leaned backwards and took a deep breath before speaking. "Ally, you might have noticed that your mommy is much stronger than an ordinary mommy. Right?"
Allison Lyn looked thoughtful for a moment. She remembered then how her mommy often displayed strength that was clearly not like the strength of mommies of her friends. She nodded towards her daddy, still not understanding what he wanted to tell. Her mommy was unique! She was her mommy!
John noticed that Allison Lyn obviously caught on his train of thoughts. He cast a quick glance at Cameron, who held her daughter and gazed at her husband with slightly red rimmed eyes and nodded to her encouragingly. "The thing is … your mommy is very special. Very special!"
Allison Lyn nodded again. Of course she is special!
"Do you like Mr. Robbie?"
His daughter looked at John incomprehensibly. She definitely didn't understand this sudden change of topic. But after few moments she answered with voice, clearly showing that she found the question stupid. "Of course I do!" Her furrowed eyebrows clearly showed John that she didn't understand what he wanted to say.
"Even though he is a machine and not human?" John drilled further with his questions.
It took Alison Lyn only a split second to answer. "Why wouldn't I like him? It doesn't matter that he is a machine!"
Cameron's eyes lit up slightly at this exclamation of her daughter and hope began to creep into her mind, hope that her daughter would accept her regardless of the knowing about her true nature.
John smiled tenderly at his daughter and lifted his eyes to look into Cameron's face before speaking. "So, you don't care if someone is a machine and not human if you like them? What about when they would love you? Would you still like them? Maybe even love them?"
Allison Lyn thought for a moment before answering. "I would. If they're good then I'd like them." She didn't even think to ask how a machine could feel love.
John sighed and decided to drop the bomb. "What if I told you that your mommy is a machine?"
Allyson Lyn's mouth fell open and she needed few moments to answer. "But … but … she can't be a machine! She has skin and no metal! And she's my mommy!" She turned her eyes towards her mommy to get reassurance. But the look in Cameron's eyes told her that it was probably true. "Mommy?" A tiny voice, begging for reassurance was all she managed.
Cameron's non-existent heart literally broke at the sight of her daughter in distress. She enveloped the little girl in her arms and whispered in her ear. "I'm so sorry Ally. But what your daddy said is true. I am a machine. I have been made to look like a human, but inside I'm a machine. I have bones made of metal and my brain is a computer chip."
Allison Lyn pulled out of Cameron's embrace and leaned backwards, gazing at her intently.
Cameron felt almost intimidated by her daughter's look and she waited for few seconds. She felt how her anxiousness and fear that her daughter might now reject her rose exponentially. After Allison Lyn still didn't say anything, she whispered tentatively. "Allison Lyn?" Please, don't let her reject me! Please!
But the girl still stared at the female cyborg with blank face. Even John almost flinched at the look, she was giving her mother and suddenly he asked himself if the decision to tell her hadn't been wrong. What if she would now reject Cameron? He had no idea how this would affect his wife, but he knew it wouldn't be nice. Cameron loved her daughter just as much as she loved him and it would be a terrible shock to her, should she lose her love.
Few more moments passed before Allison Lyn asked with flat voice. "Are you still my mommy? Do you still love me?"
Cameron nodded eagerly and almost subconsciously reached for her baby. "I am and will always be your mommy, Ally! I love you more than you can imagine."
A second passed … another … and another. Then Allison Lyn's face exploded in a smile and she flung herself into Cameron's arms. "Then everything's OK!"
John let out a breath he didn't even knew he had been holding. The burning in his lungs told him he did it for a significant time. A ragged sound of air exiting his lungs spoke volumes about his pent up emotions. I had absolutely no idea that I could hold breath for such a long time! He saw Cameron's face stretch in a beautiful smile and tears beginning to flow down her cheeks. He grinned from ear to ear and nodded to his wife vigorously.
Cameron felt like a massive rock would have just fallen from her heart. Her fears were unnecessary, her daughter accepted her as a machine. She was still her mommy and her baby was still in her arms. She knew that there would be some serious discussions later, but for the time being, she was satisfied.
They remained silent for few minutes, Cameron just enjoying the fact that the shadow of her secret no longer hung over her head and holding her daughter in her arms.
Allison Lyn on the other side cuddled into her mommy's arms and squeezed her tight. She didn't find it strange that she was a machine. As John already expected, the little girl had only positive experiences with the machines, she had never been taught that they were the enemy and she found it intriguing that her mommy was really that special. I bet no one of my friends has so special mommy! She didn't even consider the fact that a machine could be so convincingly human that no one would notice it. Not yet!
After a short period of comfortable silence, Allison Lyn leaned back from the embrace and looked into Cameron's eyes, which were now dry and smiling at her daughter. "Mommy? Can I tell my friends that you are a machine?"
Cameron's face instantly became distraught, but john beat her to answering. "No, Allison Lyn, you shouldn't tell anyone that your mommy is a machine. You see, there are bad people out there, people who would like to study her and would do horrible things to her if they ever found out that she is a machine." He decided not to tell her that her mommy had already been studied by some bad guys before and barely escaped alive.
Allison Lyn nodded and looked thoughtful for a moment. "What about granny Sarah? May I tell her? She's nice and wouldn't hurt my mommy."
"Of course, pumpkin! But she already knows it. As well as uncle Derek, Andrea, Tim, Isabel and Brian. You can talk to them about your mommy being a machine and they will explain to you just how special she is."
Allison Lyn's eyes narrowed on her daddy. "Everybody knows it? Why hadn't you told me before?"
"I was afraid you might not want me to be your mommy anymore. Many people hated me when they found out." Cameron's voice was tiny, vulnerable and she looked at her daughter with huge eyes.
Furrowing her brows, Allison Lyn answered. "Why wouldn't I want you to be my mommy? I love you. You're …" She thought for a moment, trying to find an appropriate expression, but found none, so she shrugged and finished her thought. "You're my mommy!"
The smile on Cameron's face equaled the one John saw only once before … in Canada, as they had gotten married. He reached out for his two women and enveloped them both in a group hug.
"Daddy!" Allison Lyn's exasperated voice made him chuckle. He released his daughter from the hug and looked at her furrowed brows. "I'm not a lemon! Don't squeeze me like one!"
John's chuckles and Cameron's giggles made it clear that the possible crisis in their family relationship had been successfully circumnavigated. The secret that could have torn them apart had been revealed with no effect at all. However, both adults knew that questions would arise later and not only pleasant ones.
"Didn't I tell you?" John whispered in Cameron's ear and squeezed her tighter to him to emphasize the words.
Rolling her eyes in response, Cameron gave her husband a smile, clearly revealing what she thought about his remark. Unnecessary!
Suddenly Allison Lyn remembered that she had no actual proof that her mommy was a machine. "Mommy? Can you do … something different than daddy?"
Cameron's eyes revealed how confused she was hearing this question. "What do you mean, Allison Lyn?"
The girl shrugged. "I don't know. Just something to show me that you're really a machine."
Now it was clear to Cameron what her daughter meant. She couldn't possibly cut herself to show her the metal beneath her flawless skin, but she could do something else. Something, she already did a few times, for the first time way back to convince Terissa Dyson that the machines were back. She cast a quick look at John and after she received a nod as a confirmation, she stared into her daughter's eyes and made her eyes glow brightly blue.
It seemed that her daughter was enchanted by the look of her mommy's eyes. She grinned wide and clapped enthusiastically. "They're so beautiful! You should always have them like this!" She leaned a little forward and gazed into her mommy's eyes sharply. "So blue!"
"Yes, they are beautiful. But if she'd run around with such eyes someone would sooner or later become suspicious and she could be revealed. "John patiently explained to his daughter. He also found Cameron's blue glowing eyes irresistibly beautiful. Especially because he knew that it usually meant something very specific; that she was happy or aroused.
Before they could continue their discussion, the door opened and Sarah strolled in, stopping just beyond the threshold. She looked questioningly at John and Cameron and after she received a confirmative nod from both of them, she sighed relieved and approached them.
Allison Lyn noticed her granny's arrival and as soon as Sarah was by her side, she looked into her eyes. "Granny Sarah? Why didn't you tell me that my mommy is a machine? She can make so beautiful blue eyes." Then she turned back to Cameron pleadingly. "Can you make them glow again? Please?"
Cameron smiled tenderly at her daughter's plea and allowed her eyes to glow blue again.
Sarah involuntarily shuddered as she saw her daughter in law's eyes in the bright blue color. It reminded her all too much on some other machines, which could make their eyes piercing red. Luckily she can make them blue! But she chased the thought and discomfort away. Cameron is different! She would never willingly hurt anyone she likes. The one she hates … oh well, that's entirely different story. She remembered the fierce concentration and coldness on Cameron's face as they stormed the Skynet bastion. Yes, Cameron was undoubtedly still a machine deep down, regardless of the fact that she changed immensely. Should a need arise, Sarah had no doubts, Cameron would act like a machine again. Woe to one who would try to hurt someone she loves!
While her mind tumbled over such memories and thoughts, Allison Lyn repeated her question, but noticed that her granny didn't react. So she reached for her hand and pulled at it resolutely.
The hard pull on her hand finally tore Sarah from her daydreaming. "Uhm? What?" She looked a bit disoriented, but her eyes soon focused on her granddaughter, who looked at her expectantly. "I'm sorry dearest. What did you say?" She mumbled an apology.
"I said: why didn't you tell me that my mommy is a machine!" Allison Lyn repeated her question for the third time, this time slightly annoyed that her granny didn't answer her.
Sarah swallowed and thought for a moment before answering. "It wasn't my decision to make. Only your parents could tell you, not me."
Allison Lyn looked unconvinced, but decided that she wouldn't pursue the matter anymore. At least not for the time being. Maybe later.
TBC
