A/N: Sorry it took so long for the update. I have loads to do, which isn't really an excuse, but it's really the best I can come up with. Again, I apologise, and I should try to update this story more often.
Part V: Soundwave
I could hear. I could see. But nobody could hear me. Nobody could see me. I did not exist in the reality dimension. I was in a world where nobody knew I was there. I could see other mechs walking by me, but none of them saw me. When I reached out to touch their shoulderplates - not that I ever wanted to do so - my servo went straight through it. I was in another alternate reality dimension, created by energy feeding off from two GroundBridges at once. It was called the Shadowzone.
I had tried desperately to find a way out. Transforming into my alt mode and dispatching Laserbeak had seemed like a good idea, but I had confirmed that the Shadowzone was simply a circle going on for forever.
I could see nothing but blackness. There was twisted wreckage around me, jagged edges, and broken glass that cut into my ped as I walked, that prevented me from flying, that proved dangerous even to Laserbeak. We were both low on energon, and my systems were barely functioning. I felt my drone ping me, and I barely acknowledged it, feeling my power levels going down. If I didn't get energon, I would slowly rust to death.
But that wasn't what I was worried about. I had seen the Decepticons' last stand, and I had watched Starscream – the traitorous glitch he was, and Shockwave leave in an escape pod off the Nemesis. I was trapped here, but I would never have wanted to leave… leaving my leader behind was not an option. It would never be an option. That was the worst part. I had watched Megatron offline the Autobot scout with four shots to the spark… but he had fallen into the Omega Lock and resurrected. I remembered feeling my vocaliser on fire, as I desperately yelled for Megatron to hear me – that the scout was still alive. In that instant, I had broken my Vow of Silence and spoken, because I knew that I needed to warn him. But my efforts had been futile. Nobody could hear me. Not anymore.
I had watched the Autobot scout lift the Star Sabre and push it straight through Megatron's spark. I had screamed – for the first time in my life, because I had been there, and I had done nothing, nothing to stop it from happening. My leader, my best friend, had still been alive, but I watched him fall back to Earth, offline. And I had not known what to do. Half of me wanted to start weeping, the other half wanted to remain behind this silent, emotionless wall. Because I was a sentient being, with emotions. I could still feel sadness, no matter what everyone else saw. But no one would ever hear me.
And it was at that point that I vowed I would tear out the scout's spark.
The Terrorcon, Skyquake, was here too. Disposing of him had been quick, easy even. It had not taken much effort to evade his extremely slow punches and reflexes, and breach his defences to blow open his sparkchamber and rip out his spark. It had not done any damage to my frame, and I had not even needed to bring Laserbeak into the action. I had then sliced his spark into little pieces in order to cleanse it of Dark Energon – I really did not need a vengeful spark chasing after me – and dismantled the rest of Skyquake to use for spare parts. I had a feeling that his brother, Dreadwing, (if his spark and consciousness could see me) would not be happy.
Somewhere along the way, the Nemesis had been used for battle one last time, before it had crash-landed next to the Well of All Sparks. I had caught a single glimpse of the Well of All Sparks before the jagged equipment and computer monitors had automatically switched off.
I did not like the feeling. Being trapped. There was no escape from the Shadowzone, according to the documents I had read. But I did have the ability to GroundBridge. Not many bots had this unique ability. Like the Autobot medic had said, I was no ordinary Cybertronian. And with no means of obtaining energon, I would not be able to GroundBridge any time soon. Since I had first landed here, I had failed to get out. One of the only things I had failed at.
Laserbeak had once pinged me, saying that he had found an arm. Upon further inspection, it was revealed to be Starscream's. It was missing a missile. This was most likely from when Starscream had had his arm shot off by Optimus Prime. I had seen it all, and told Megatron. Inspection of the Shadowzone had soon revealed that the missile had been fired at Skyquake. The Terrorcon's arm socket had clear singe marks, and the background around was chipped and crumbled. The humans, I would have guessed. When the human girl had followed the Autobots to end Starscream's plans of raising an undead army, the Autobots had attempted to GroundBridge the humans back to the Autobot base. Unfortunately, Starscream had requested an emergency GroundBridge back to the Nemesis, too. The humans had been trapped in the Shadowzone. It was unknown to my intelligence how they escaped. It could have helped me out of my situation at this moment.
The Shadowzone was unescapable. Or so they said. I pinged Laserbeak. Request: Return to chest compartment. I waited. Laserbeak flew towards me and folded up on my chest. My long, thin digits scraped against the sides of the wall. It left no visible damage.
It perplexed me. How I could touch the wall, yet not really touch it, how I could stand and the sunlight would not go through me, yet it made no shadow on the ground. How I could stand on the ground, yet not really stand on it, because my peds would never leave an imprint on the broken, cracked floor. So how could I escape?
I had asked myself many questions. What if I had created two GroundBridges simultaneously? Would the energy feed of each other and transport me back to the real world? Or would it simply zap me out of existence into another Shadowzone, a deeper one? Would I still be online?
It would be worth a try, Laserbeak pinged me. I considered this. Request: denied. Mission: terminate Autobot scout. Revenge. Do not do anything to endanger mission. Soundwave: cannot fail again.
I knew Laserbeak would understand. He was part of me, and we could online each other, if there was a frame to be found. I remembered the deactivation of my other mini-cons, back on Cybertron. At the time, I had not known who was responsible for the deaths. All I had known was that I had tried to ping them, ask for return to me, but my ping had contacted nothing but static. I had learned to hide all emotions behind my visor. Emotions were weaknesses that my enemies could use against me. But the loss of my cassettes was still a pang that jolted me sometimes.
In this small world, Laserbeak was really all I had left. Now that Megatron is gone.
Mission: terminate scout, Laserbeak confirmed. Rank: warrior, not scout, I pinged back. I looked at the scratch marks that should have been on the wall. There was nothing there. In one act, a loss of self-control, my fist slammed into the wall. I heard the ringing sound, but there were no dents there.
I thought back to Kaon, and the gladiatorial pits. At that time, the individual who would become Megatronus, turned Megatron, and one of the most feared bots of all time, was a miner and gladiator named D-16. We had been both participating in a fighting match – but the objective was to wound, not to deactivate. He had beaten me, the first to do so. And I had given him my absolute loyalty when he had decided to rebel and overthrow the caste system. He had then named himself after the Prime he had most admired, and I had named myself too. My former name was not one that I would have wanted to share with any being other than Megatron.
Z-4, Laserbeak pinged me again. Original designation. Query: wish to tell?
Negative, I responded over our .com. Designation only known by: Megatron. Soundwave: no wish to reveal to anyone else.
Objective: understood.
I nodded briefly, then turned away. I had given Megatron my voice, and sworn my eternal loyalty to him in that Vow of Silence. I would never break it. And, with my last stand, and a last show of my loyalty, I would find his murderer and take his spark. My cooling fans whirred into action. Up until that point, I had not noticed the heat from my anger, and I forced myself to calm down.
Mission log: Scout will be sorry he ever ended the war.
I closed it, and placed my servo against the wall. Query: Activate GroundBridge? This was from Laserbeak. I offlined my optics for a while then onlined my visor. Negative. There was a wave of surprise from my mini-con, given my eagerness to terminate the Autobot scout turned warrior who had killed my master. Soundwave: Let him be less worried. Mission: will come. Scout: will be sorry.
Laserbeak pinged his assent, and I turned away, satisfied. He would not need to know of the burning sensation in my spark as I felt anger course through me. I was not emotionless. And soon, the world would know.
It was not until what should be nightfall when I realised that I could GroundBridge out easily if I could just find the co-ordinates of the 'reality world' instead of the place I wanted to go inside the Shadowzone. The problem was finding the co-ordinates. My navigational system had been going haywire for a long time. Obviously, the easiest co-ordinates to the normal world would be the Nemesis, right here, just in a different dimension. Laserbeak: come in. New information. Escape route: planned.
There was excitement from my drone, then I saw Laserbeak flit between broken support chords and various pieces of shattered metal and glass. He folded easily back onto my chestplates.
Megatron had earned my loyalty by inflicting less-than-serious wounds on my frame, thereby letting me heal. He had also captivated me with his many speeches about bringing justice to Cybertron and ridding the law of the caste system. And I had agreed. Megatron - then Megatronus - had been sparked into the lower caste where we were forced to become miners and gladiators - an escape from our boring lives. Back then, when we were D-16 and Z-4, we were nobody. But soon, the whole of Cybertron would know our designations - the ones that we had given ourselves. And more than just Cybertron. The Decepticons would grow to become the most feared group in the whole universe. Just thinking about it put a smile on my faceplates, though nobody would be able to see my expression, save for an empty, blank visor.
The Autobots were fools to believe that I had no faceplate. They were even bigger fools to believe that I had no emotions.
Of course I cared for my master. Of course. The steadfast loyalty that I had given to him, that I had devoted myself to, had come from somewhere. The Autobots were truly fools. And those raw emotions, that loyalty would serve its purpose as the spark which would see the Autobot scout offline.
Of all the Decepticons left, only Starscream, Shockwave and Knock Out had escaped the final stand. I had seen Shockwave persuade his vile creations - the Predacons - to help the Autobots. I wanted to purge my tanks. Which Decepticon would do such a thing? Shockwave was no Starscream. I had no idea where Knock Out and Starscream would be now, maybe carrying on the Decepticon faction, but the idiot medic would not have been strong enough to lead a faction, and I certainly hoped that somebody had offlined Starscream before he did.
Negative, I chided myself. Knock Out; Starsream: in hiding. 99% chance. They would have to have hidden from the wrath of the Predacons, especially their so-called leader, Predaking. Despite how much I hated the Predacons, and had agreed to terminate them, I really hoped that they had caught the pair.
Starscream had been a young Seeker with a promising future, and he had lived in Iacon as a commander of a squad of energon Seekers who had never seen the state of the lower caste lives. He had also been the Prime's at the time - Sentinel- bodyguards. He and his Seeker trine, Skywarp and Thundercracker. He had bought his way into the Decepticon army by handing over the mech that he needed to protect. Of course I was happy that Sentinel Prime was captured - he was the one who had started the caste system - but it had been the start of Starscream's treachery and which would show him double-crossing almost everyone he knew. Not only did I despise him for wanting to sneak in with the Decepticons, Starscream had tried many times to double-cross and terminate my master - so many times that it had become uncountable. He was a traitor, and one of the few that I could never trust and always had constant surveillance on. The other was Airachnid.
The Decepticon assassin and torture expert was extremely treacherous, despite being a femme, and she had 'never wanted to share'. During Megatron's absence, she had attempted to steal the role of the leader, but I had put her in a rightful place. What a fool she was to think of taking me on! I was a gladiator in the pits of Kaon, and I was an extremely deceptively dangerous warrior. She would never have stood a chance. I had also dispatched Laserbeak for fun during the little fight. Airachnid had later gone completely rogue and left the Decepticons after I informed Megatron that she had wanted to leave him on Earth.
Dreadwing and Breakdown had failed to terminate her. I ventilated, once. She was easy to beat. I had not even tried. Then, she had escaped, and tried to assassinate Megatron many times, with Insecticons and the like. I felt anger again. No one would dare attempt to terminate my master! Except for the scout that would soon feel my wrath.
She had been put into cryo-statis by the Autobot two-wheeler, Arcee. At the destruction of the Autobot base, we had found her and taken her back to the Nemesis in her frozen state. Then Knock Out and Starscream - the idiots that they were - had infused Dark Energon with Synthetic Energon into the creature that used to be Breakdown. He was called Silas, or CYLAS, depending. Sensing energon, the creature had freed Airachnid. She had led all the Insecticons with her and attempted to kill every Decepticon she could find. That did not go to well. Sadly, the first Decepticon she and her army had encountered was me. I had not bothered to fight. Instead, I had opened up a GroundBridge portal directly in front of me, and she had been Bridged to one of Cybertron's now-deserted moons.
She had now probably offlined from lack of energon.
In a way, Starscream had cost the Decepticons the entire war, the pompous, arrogant fool he was. By pulling rank on Knock Out, he had unleashed a 'virus' which had infected half of the Vehicon troops and resulted in the loss of all the Insecticons. Maybe, if it were not for Starscream, I would still be in the real world beside my master, who would still be online. Perhaps the Autobots would have been deactivated too.
Starscream: next target?
I thought for a while, balancing up both sides of the equation. After Bumblebee. Always after the murderer of my best friend and master. If Decepticons could even have friends, he'd be my closest.
Outcome: 100% success. Problem: outrunning Predacon. Calculating odds: 72%. It did not look promising.
Query: Percentage change of terminating scout?
Outcome: 100% success, I pinged back. Problem: escaping other Autobots, especially Optimus Prime.
Mission: not to fail.
Affirmative. Scout: must die. Soundwave: one to do it. Avenge death of Megatron. Sacrifice: if Soundwave must die completing the task, then Soundwave will do it. No matter what: scout must die. Soundwave: loyal to the very end.
Laserbeak shifted slightly. Affirmative. He tried to hide his unease.
I looked up and saw nothing but the ceiling. There were co-ordinates to work on, codes to be deciphered. I would soon be free. And I would avenge the deactivation of my one true master.
Part V: Megatron
There were no stars in the sky. The Autobots had rebuilt most of Cybertron, but left this area to waste. I stood, in the most desolate part of the planet that was once my home. There was no comfort at all in the midnight-black sky, as black as the darkness that had once taken me.
There was no light in the realm of darkness.
I was an outcast. The Autobots would never accept me as part of their little world – the devastation I had wrecked in this universe would be all they needed to convince them that I would be taken to a place where I would never be seen again. I know that I was a bad bot; blinded by greed and ambition, wanting to dominate the universe. And I lead others in this maddened quest for something that was not right. Brought others down with me. I had caused so many deactivations. It's not right. I should have done something about it. But now, it was too late for me to change who I am.
I want to say that I had shown remorse for what I had done, but I could not find it within me. In a way, the war had been good; a chance to show the universe how wrong the policies on Cybertron were: the caste system and the poor workers, sparked without a proper designation, exposed to all the evils that the planet had to offer. I was one of them – D-16. And so was Soundwave. Maybe that was the reason why Soundwave was probably the closest bot I have had to a friend. Because we knew why we were fighting this war. Soundwave had not jumped onto our side, as Starscream had done. He had understood. And because he understood, he was unquestioningly loyal to me. The war had gotten rid of the caste system. The Autobots would never bring it into Cybertron's laws again. They would not want another war.
It had been Sentinel Zeta Prime who had brought the caste system on Cybertron, and he who had decreed that the lower caste bots would have no name. It was the reason - he was the reason (or it, did that make him a bot?) that I had no name - and Soundwave too. The reason why the Great War started. His bodyguards, Starscream, Skywarp and Thundercracker had once scoffed at my plans of a rebellion, but they too, had plotted to buy their way into the Decepticon army using the Prime. And now, Sentinel Zeta Prime was deactivated. Probably burning in the Pit - if there was any justice.
Not that I didn't deserve to burn in the Pit. The only problem was that I still had the blood of Unicron - Dark Energon - in my sparkchamber. It would stop me from truly deactivating. It was handy in combat, but did I still want it anymore? It was tainting my spark after all, if my spark was not already tainted from the amount of evil that resided within my very soul.
During the day, I recharge, and wake; a continuous cycle of which I am forced to uptake – being wanted, I am sure, all over Cybertron – I have to be careful. It is at night when I leave the cave that is my sanctuary, and wander at the summit of a mountain which is my domain. Sometimes the stars come out, and they whisper to me. But those times are rare, and tonight is not one of those nights. I had learned the names of all the constellations during my days as a sparkling. They seem long-forgotten, but they were there; in the furthermost reaches of my processor.
I wonder what has happened to the other former Decepticons. There has been no word at all from Starscream, so it could only come to me that the Predacons had finally gotten their servos on him – and whether he was online or offline, I could definitely not say. Soundwave, the bot who had been loyal to me… his fate was unknown. I do not know if he had been offlined in the last stand of the Decepticons aboard the Nemesis, and I hate myself for not wanting to find out. But I am scared that the truth will reveal what I have most feared: that I am alone in this world and there is nobody to help me.
Shockwave should never have created the Predacons. They have evolved and become sentient beings – who also thirsted for my spilt energon. Another reason why I now stayed here until… maybe until I offlined.
Finding energon was hard. It involved taking flight from my safe house and going to the nearest small town, and stealing. Of course, being a thief was nothing compared to the war that I had started. It was only a petty crime. And I would be able to fight my way out if I was caught.
The only downside to this would be the Autobots finding my position and hunting me down. There was only so much time that I could outrun them – and they had more technology then me, and strength in numbers; I was weak from lack of energon. And then there was Optimus Prime. So, I tried to make my 'visits' as brief as possible.
My processor flashed back to the time when I was almost caught.
I cursed, leaning backwards against the wall, into the shadows, almost out of sight. The curse that was hissed out of my mouthplates was quiet, heard by none except myself. My arm compartment slid open silently, and I slowly placed the glowing energon inside it. I wedged it within the compartment so that it would not make any clanging sounds when I moved. I, Lord of the Decepticons, was reduced to stealing energon scraps from dilapidated villages where attention would not be drawn to me - there were many other bots - poor as I was - who stole from these villages.
"I swear I'll catch one of these little thieves!" came a nasty voice, like stones scraped on gravel. It was rough and course, and full of anger. I hissed in anger, the sound spiralling out from between my clenched dentae like air out of a tyre. My compartment slid shut, and the half-glowing light - shielded by my servo - disappeared.
My digits curled around a wad of something smooth, and palming it, I rubbed them against the heels of my peds, softening them. It would not do any good to have the clicking sounds of my high peds against the ground as I snuck out of the shop. Almost done, I leant further into the wall and shifted my ped sideways. I held my breath - not that I needed to ventilate in the first place. There was no scraping noise.
"Where are you, you little slagger?"I wanted to snarl for the insult of the question. How dare he talk to a being such as I about this? I could take out my twin blades, and he would be scrap on the floor. But something told me that it was not the time to take any more sparks.
Control, Megatron, I chided myself, control. I edged out, my digits ready to grasp the smooth door, and push it open. I hoped that it would not creak. My peds slipped along the grimy floor. I felt the fuel in my compartment, and it gave me strength. As if I'd tell you where I am! I thought indignantly.
The rough, gravelly voice was once again speaking. "I've had enough of all those thieves stealing from me, do you hear? I'm going to sort you out, once and for all!" I heard something hard hitting the centre of his servo, and I almost laughed. A metal bat. A stick. As if that would do any damage against my knives. I held in the laughter. But I would not want to maim or kill today. Not unless I had no choice.
My ped continued to skid along the floor. I could feel the bumps of it: the bits of dirt and the cracks in the tiles. How many times had I been in this situation again?
"Come out and let me see your faceplates, you glitched fragger!"
Talk about rude, I thought to myself. With a pang, I thought of Starscream, presumably offlined. I had liked my second-in-command. Had a soft spot for him, if I had to admit. He had always been so rude to me, and to everyone. Should have helped him, I thought, should have...
I almost felt coolant running down my cheek. I held it in. No. But how had my life come to this?
I pushed the door open, finding my last bit of strength, and felt a gust of wind through the house. I cursed again, softly, almost silently. But I watched as the bright, glowing optics turned in my direction, at the half-open door, and for an instant, for a split klik, they met mine.
The mech roared. He was much bigger than me, and much clumsier than my sleek form. But I was weak from lack of energon and running high with agitation while he was fueled with anger. There was no time to think. I bolted.
"I've got you now!" He roared, lunging at me with open servos. I ducked into the doorway, scampering up the stairs as his servo narrowly missed the heel of my ped. My spark was pounding worse than ever, and my processor clouded with worry and doubt. Primus, I thought weakly.
I fled up the stairs, running away from the sounds of his yells. I made it to the top of the roof, and yanked at the heavy door. It stubbornly refused to open, though I used my whole frameweight to shove against the metal. I rubbed the dent in my hipplate. The yelling was getting closer, and I felt more drained than ever. Weak. From lack of energon and my lack of a motive to kill. Don't give up. Just don't give up-
I felt the hard metal against my helm, and I buckled, kneeplates hitting the floor. He raised the metal pole again. It was jagged at one end. It wasn't a joke. He could kill me. I rolled away, aiming to go down the stairs, out of his range. He grabbed my wing and threw me against the barricaded door. My olfactory sensors detected HighGrade on his ventilation. I saw static.
"Let me go!" I cried, jerking away from him, as I tried to fumble for my weapons. My digits closed around air.
"Let you go? Why, I will never! You little thief!" He shook me hard, slamming the metal pole against my neck-cables and the side of my helm so I saw static, over and over again. I tried to offline my optics, but what good would that do?
"I need it!" I cry desperately, trying to move away from him. He held me fast.
"You are stealing my products, you little glitch!" he yelled, aiming the jagged end at my optic. I shrunk away, sliding down the wall. "You are going to pay!"
I kneed him hard in the stomach, and tried to jerk away. He grunted in pain, but I did not get far before he grabbed my wingtip and forced me against the wall. "No!" I cried, scrabbling for my last hope of freedom. There was sticky energon all over my neck-cables, and I was beginning to feel dizzy and sick. How did it get there?
"Sire! Sire!" A little voice piped up, but it was full of fear. I heard tiny pedsteps, then a little femmeling appeared behind my attacker, on the stairs. "Oh, Sire! Please don't hurt him! He's only little!"
I bristled at this. I was much older than the sparkling thought I was, thank you very much. But maybe playing some sympathy would work. "He's stealing my energon!"her sire roared. Gasping, I let out a little whimper, hoping to catch her sympathy.
"Sire, he's scared! And he's bleeding frightfully, can't you just let him go?"
"Don't talk about matters you don't understand, sweetspark," he told her. It hit me hard. I had never been once called that from the moment I was sparked. My creators had abandoned me and left me to offline. I felt coolant pool up in my optics.
"Sire, he's crying!"
He grunted at this. "He didn't look so scared a minute ago. Pretending, are you?" he said to me, then raised the bar and hit me with the jagged end. Fresh energon ran down the side of my faceplate, and I thought I was going to be sick. I staggered, my aft hitting the floor.
"I'm going to mess up your pretty faceplates good and proper, and we'll see if anyone still wants ya!" I froze at this. No one had ever liked me, not in a million stellar-cycles.
The femmeling looked at me. "I think he's real pretty, sire, can't you just leave him alone?" Her servos found my wingtips and started rubbing them. I jerked away, half-scared and half wanting her to have pity for me. The bar hit me again. "He's a Seeker; I've heard of how hard they are to find - especially after the war, and-"
"Seeker or not, he'll get what he deserves!" The bar went down again, and again, and I could barely think straight.
"But sire, he's so pretty and-"
"Get back downstairs!" he yelled at her. She backed away, looking frightened now, and I thought that was what gave me strength. My own servo fumbled against my arm, trying to find the hilt, but he was overcharged on HighGrade and my arm was hidden behind me. As the bar came down again, I flicked my arm up, and slipped the knife in between his plating. He stopped the attack on my now, gasping as the energon leaked out of the ragged wound.
I staggered to my peds. I could barely walk, and the small area of my heels was not exactly helping either. The femmeling screamed. "Sire! Sire!" She looked at me. "How could you do this?" Her optics fell on the centre of my chestplates. She whimpered. "You're a Decepticon..."
I looked back at her. "Not anymore," I said. "But he was hurting me, and I... I cannot survive without energon. He was shouting at you... and it... it just reminded me of how my creators abandoned me when I was a sparkling." I won't do it anymore. I won't try to hurt anyone.
But we had both forgotten the bulky, swaying mech. The bar hit against the side of my helm. A fresh wave of pain almost knocked me of my peds, as I struggled for breath. As I leant against the wall, he raised it, aiming for the centre of my neck-cables.
I reacted on instinct. My servo jerked forwards of its own accord, and before my processor could register it, my arm - and the knife - was covered in sticky energon. The huge mech fell to the floor, optics looking stunned for a moment, before offlining. There was nothing but blackness in them. I felt sick to my tanks. I had sworn not to deactivate again...
She screamed. "No, sire! Sire!" She sobbed, looking up at me. "You evil... I defended you, and look what you did!" She sobbed again, screaming his designation. "No! You're not offline! You're not offline! No! Please..." She broke down in a fresh flood of tears, and I felt guilt in my spark. Oh Primus, what had I done?
"I..." I started to say, but somehow the words got stuck in my vocaliser. She looked at me, pure hate, showing in her blue optics. She reminded me of Optimus and the hurt look he wore when I started the war. "I don't want to hear anything you have to say," she said coldly and fiercely. "And you'd better run, because, when I find you, I'll make you pay." She turned away, still sobbing.
Before this, she had actually liked me - one of the only bots in the universe who would bother with me - and I had killed her sire. I told myself it was self-defence, but the shock of my actions barely registered. Why was it having so much impact on my conscience? "I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice dry, cracked and broken. "I'm so sorry; I don't know why..."
I broke off. "I'll find you one day, and I'll help you, because I... I feel... it was so wrong, and I shouldn't have..." I awkwardly put one servo around her and hugged her. She glared poison at me. "Do whatever you want to me," I said, "but I can never hurt you. I'll look over you and I won't let anything or anyone hurt you anymore." Why was I making a promise that I could never keep? Why was I becoming so Autobot? But the words were tumbling out of my mouthplates, coupled with the grief and guilt that I did not yet understand. She did not answer. "I'm sorry," I said again.
"I'm sorry."
There was nothing more for me to say. She still did not reply, and with that, I turned round and fled, into the cool night air, pain and hurt tugging at my spark. As I transformed, I could almost feel her optics on me, watching my very movement across the sky, as she continued to cry.
I leant back against the rock face and tried not to think of my troubles. Doing so would bring on the agitation and the stress that dragged down my already-low energon levels. I might have needed to go on a quick steal soon; the energon stacked in the corner was getting dangerously low, and I had already needed to ration.
"If only anyone could see me now," I said, but nobody would be able to hear me except the cool night air. During my 'reign' as Decepticon leader, I had once missed Cybertron, though I would never have deemed it strong enough for myself to admit the truth. Only Soundwave would have suspected it.
As I looked once again at the empty sky, I stood shakily to my feet and checked my power levels: 40% functionality. I made a mental note to check more regularly. It would soon be time for another energon hunt. I had to go before my levels were too depleted, but for once, I wanted to do nothing but look up at the sky, and wait to see the stars.
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