Here you go! Just as I promised. Sorry if there are a few spelling mistakes in this one. I didn't really have alot of time today to read it over again. It's also a little bit shorter. Anyway, enjoy!


Almost Married Life

Lucas

-X-X-

Peyton's back is turned to me and her hair, back to curly because she has no time to straighten it, is sprayed out across her pillow. Elizabeth, who is eleven months old now, is sleeping in my old room.

She flips onto her back and sighs before grabbing the old magazine that is sitting on her night stand. While flipping through it, she asks, "What do you think Brooke is doing right now?"

I laugh and close my eyes, trying to picture her. In my mind, she is sitting beside me and her face is deep in concentration. I love you, not Julian, she finally says. I love you, Lucas Scott. I open my eyes and swallow before answering. "Probably at some crazy up-scale party where all everyone ever does is complain about not having enough money."

The magazine comes down hard on my chest and Peyton frowns. "That's my best friend you're insulting, Lucas Scott."

I smile and tickle her side. "I know Brooke isn't like those people. She remembers where she comes from."

Peyton nods. "I miss her."

I put my arm around her and kiss her on the head. "I miss her too."

I rest my hand on her thigh, patting and squeezing it as I think. "Maybe we should wait a little while before getting married."

Peyton stays quiet, but puts the magazine away.

"It's not that I don't want to marry you, Peyton. You know that I do."

"What is it, then? Haven't we waited long enough? We've been engaged for almost two years, Lucas!" She runs a quick hand through her hair, pulling the curls straight for a second before allowing them to bounce back into place. She takes a deep breath through her nose before continuing. "I don't mean to sound like some crazy, wedding obsessed bitch."

"You're not a crazy, wedding obsessed bitch, Peyton." I whisper, not knowing what else to say but the honest truth. Well, sort of. "I'm the one who isn't ready. It's my fault."

"I know." She nods and throws one of my pillows onto the floor. "And I'm just not ready to be in the same bed as you right now. I'd like to sleep alone tonight, if you don't mind."

-X-X-

Peyton is in Seattle for two weeks visiting Mia. That was where she moved with Chase early last year, after he proposed. She had declined, claiming that she wasn't quite ready to settle down, but had agreed a month later to move with him across the country. Personally, I hadn't understood what had drawn her towards the idea of moving instead of getting engaged. It reminded me a little bit of what Brooke had been through since high school. Chase had asked Brooke a similar thing right after graduation. Instead of marriage, he had given her a promise ring before she had moved to L.A with Peyton. I suppose it was meant as a way to remind her that sooner or later, he was going to propose, and to get used to the idea. Peyton told me that the second he had cracked open the velvet box, she had snapped it shut between her thumb and forefinger, shaking her head. And that was how their relationship had ended. When Peyton had told me the story, I could help but feel that part of it was my fault. I had made her weary of opening herself up.

I'm watching Elizabeth attempt to empty out Peyton's record collection on the one wall of our living room. Her short legs prevent her from destroying anything above the first row of shelves, and she is forced to work with the few, already scratched records that Peyton leaves on the bottom shelf for her to play with. I sit on the couch, recording her every movement with my video camera for Peyton, as her fat little fingers work their way into the sleeve of one record as she attempts to pull it out. "Elizabeth, look over here!" I call over to her. She turns her head and smiles. She drops the record on the floor and begins crawling over toward me. "This is what your daughter does when your not here, Peyton. She turns into a Daddy's Girl." I say in the background for the camera, keeping the image on our daughter, as she crawls into my arms.

I put the video camera away and turn my full attention to my baby. She snuggles into me and I wrap my arms around her warm little body. It makes me nervous knowing that she seems more affectionate toward me, a man, than Peyton, a woman. "You really love men, don't you?" I say to her. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you were meant to be Brooke's daughter."

With this, I close my eyes and allow myself to cry, for the first time this year, for what was meant to be but never was.

-X-X-

"It's not like I'm abandoning my family, Peyton!" I yell, watching her ironing Elizabeth's tiny jeans and shirts in the living room. "I'm just asking for a little bit more time."

"More time. Is that what you're after, Lucas, really?" She says, shaking her head skeptically.

"Is that so hard to believe? I'm barely twenty five, Peyton. I never thought that I would be married before thirty." I say, not really thinking about whether this was actually true or not. By the look on Peyton's face, I realize that maybe I should have thought twice about my words. She purses her lips and blinks a few times.

"What about Lindsay?" She murmurs, dropping her eyes to the tiny black shirt in front of her that says 'I love Momma and Papa.' in neon pink writing.

Shit, I think to myself.

I hadn't thought about Lindsay, our engagement, and our almost-wedding. Then I thought back to the night that I had proposed to her and smiled to myself. Lindsay had found the ring that I had wanted to use the first time I had proposed to Peyton. At that point, I had figured that I loved her and who cared about pre-planning and right timing. Maybe this was how things were suppose to work out.

I was very, very wrong.

"Peyton, did I ever tell you about the night that I proposed to Lindsay?" The smile on my face grows bigger as I realize that I just might have perfect proof after all.

-X-X-

"I'm sick and tired of this." Peyton says going through all of her clothes. She grabs a few shirts and two pairs of jeans, stuffing them quickly into the suitcase in front of her.

I try to calm her down, the tears are already running, but it's no use. She has been like this for a while and I think that she had finally cracked. "Peyton, you can't just pack up like this."

She shakes her head and places a hand on her hip. "I'm going to visit Brooke, whether she likes it or not."

I smile and nod. "Okay, fine, but I'm coming with you."

I want to see Brooke so badly that it hurts to think about waiting to see her. It's been too long and now that Peyton has also realized the hole that Brooke has left, I have my chance. No one can accuse me of feeling anything other than friendship-love for Brooke Davis. "Who would watch Elizabeth?"

I shrug, "She's coming with us. Brooke has yet to see our daughter."

"I don't want to take a one year old on a plane, Luke. I know that Brooke hasn't seen Elizabeth yet but she will soon, once I can convince her to move back here."

"Haley could watch her." I am beginning to panic. I need to see Brooke even more than Peyton does.

Peyton shakes her head, rummaging through her underwear drawer. "Haley and Nate are taking Jamie to see her Grandfather, his great Grandfather, who lives in Texas. Supposedly he's on his deathbed or something."

"He picked a terrible time to start dying." I mumble to myself. I can the edge of Peyton's mouth twitching with a slight smile. She stops packing and walks over to where I'm standing. She loops her arms around my neck and kissed me passionately. I hate myself for not enjoying our kisses the way I used to.

"Stay, Luke, and I promise that I'll bring Brooke back with me." Her eyes are pleading for me to let her go to her best friend. I nod, because I know how easily one can love a girl like Brooke Davis.

-x-x-

"Mommy is going to miss you so much!" Peyton says, covering Elizabeth's stomach with kisses. Her daughter wiggles under Peyton's lips, screaming like crazy.

Peyton kisses Elizabeth once more on the forehead before turning to me with a small smile. She points to the door of our daughter's bedroom. Let's talk outside.

We walk out and close the door gently behind us, leaving a tired and cranky baby to soothe herself to sleep. "Are you going to be okay on your own?" She asks, leaning against the wall. She seems nervous about leaving me for two weeks.

"Peyton, we will be fine without you." I try to smile reassuringly and move to give her a kiss. We stand close together for a few minutes after the kiss, listening to each other's breathing.

"I love you." She whispers, placing a hand on my chest.

I breathe in, out, in, and then out again. "I love you, too."

And then she kisses me again, this time a little bit more urgently. It's not just a kiss, it's a question. I answer her by moving the two of us to our bedroom, where we undress each other, one piece of clothing at a time. I start with her emerald green tank top, pulling it over her head and dropping it at the foot of the bed. Next, she unbuttons my shirt, leaving it on and open for a few minutes, as she plants light kisses down the center of my stomach. I unbutton her jeans and let them fall to the floor in a pile. She steps out of them and moves to unbutton and unzip my own jeans.

After a few more minutes of removing under wear, I find myself in between Peyton's legs, biting and licking my way around. She lifts up her pelvis and cries out for me to get down to real business. I follow her orders, although I know just how much she loves it when I tease her.

I hover above her for a minute and I have a flashback to the beach with Brooke, almost exactly a year ago. I had wanted her that night because I loved her. Now, here with Peyton, I didn't feel that same need to be with her. I was doing what Peyton wanted. It wasn't mutual.

My mind wanders to Brooke and how she feels touching and being touched by Julian. Has she grown to love and want him? Probably, I realize. Brooke hasn't so much as sent me an email since that night. Outgoing and confident, Brooke Davis now loves Julian more than she had ever loved me. I know that she has moved on.

Deep down inside, at this very moment, thinking about these two women in my life, I know that this moment is form of a goodbye. The only question is, who am I finally saying goodbye to?