Chapter 4 – "Age is just a number, baby."
Lexie pulled out her keys from her purse. She sifted through the few keys on her key ring before she found the one she was looking for. She was about to put it in the lock when she stopped. She had no right to use the key. It was no longer 'their' apartment. It was his. If she knew he wasn't home, she would have used the key, gathered the rest of her things quietly, and left without him even knowing it, but he most likely was home. Lexie had tried to make her way over to the apartment during her lunch break when she knew he was in surgery, but her hour long lunch break turned into a two minute lunch break when one of her patients coded and had to be rushed into surgery. She had worked through her lunch and several hours beyond the end of her shift so she never quite got the chance to get to the apartment when Mark wasn't home. So much for sneaking in quietly. Lexie knew Mark had left the hospital hours before her. There was no way she would be able to avoid him now, but she had to get her things. She was tired of borrowing Meredith's clothes and she had told Mark the day before that she would pick them up. Lexie knew she was just going to have to suck it up and deal with the confrontation.
As she raised her hand to knock on the door, a thought occurred to her. Maybe he wasn't home. Sure, he had left work, but that didn't mean that he had gone right home. Maybe Lexie would be able to avoid the confrontation after all. She went to put her key in the lock again when another thought popped into her mind and it didn't settle well wither her. Maybe Mark was home and maybe he wasn't alone. Maybe he had a woman in his bed, in their bed. The thought made Lexie shiver. She stared at the closed door. She didn't know what to do. Knock on the door? Use her key? Run away? She definitely liked the latter. She would just come back another time when she knew Mark was working. She turned to leave when the door opened.
"Lexie?"
Lexie stopped dead in her tracks. She took a deep breath and turned around. Mark was standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his naked chest. All he was wearing was a pair of drawstring lounge pants.
"I…I…" She couldn't think, not when all she could see was his gorgeous pecks and abs.
"Did you come for your stuff?" She nodded. "I could have dropped it off."
"It's fine," she replied, finally finding her words. "I'm here now." They both stood in the doorway, staring at each other. Neither one of them moved. "Were you just…waiting for me?"
"What?"
"How did you know I was standing out here?"
Mark pointed over Lexie's shoulder. A man holding a pizza walked up to them.
"Mr. Sloan?" The man asked.
"Dr. Sloan," Mark corrected. He took the pizza. "She'll pay." He winked at Lexie before disappearing into the apartment with the pizza. Lexie looked through the open door, unsure exactly what happened.
"That's 12.95," the pizza delivery guy said.
Lexie glanced over at him and shook her head. She dug through her purse and grabbed fifteen dollars. She practically through the money at the delivery man before heading into the apartment and slamming the door.
"Want some pizza?" Mark asked with his mouth full.
"That wasn't funny," she replied.
"But I got your favorite."
Mark picked up the slice he was eating and showed it to Lexie. It was her favorite.
"But you don't even like pineapple pizza," she said.
He shrugged. "It reminded me of you."
Lexie didn't know what to think or say. "I'm just here for my stuff," she said angrily.
Mark immediately knew he made a mistake. He didn't know why he was acting so cocky and insensitive. This wasn't easy for either of them.
"Lexie…I'm sorry. I didn't mean…I'll pay for the pizza."
"I'm just here for my stuff."
Lexie headed into the bedroom. She opened the closet and noticed that nothing was different. Mark hadn't moved anything. It was a strangely comforting thought. Lexie pulled her suitcase out of the back of the closet. She put it on the unmade bed and opened it. Sighing, Lexie started pulling her clothes off their hangers.
From where he sat at the kitchen table, Mark could see Lexie through the doorway. She began pulling her things out of the closet quickly and throwing them on the bed, not caring whether they landed in the suitcase or not. As she made her way through her belongings, though, she slowed down as if she were second guessing herself. With every garment that hit the bed, Mark's heart sank a little lower. Watching her belongings go made Mark realize that there was no turning back. She was leaving. They were done.
After Lexie finished with the clothes that were hanging, she walked over to the bureau. She opened the bottom drawer, the only one that was hers, and began taking out the contents. There wasn't much in it, just some underwear, socks, and some old T-Shirts, but she wanted everything gone. As she pulled everything out and threw it in the direction of the suitcase on the bed, she found a grey shirt. His grey shirt. She had "borrowed" it the night they had first slept together at the Archfield and she had never given it back. She wasn't even sure if he knew she had it even though she slept in it as often as she could. He probably assumed it was just some shirt. He probably had no idea that it was from their first night together.
Lexie pulled the shirt up to her nose and smelled it. Somehow, even though she had worn it for so long, it still smelled like him. She hated the thought of leaving it behind, but she had to make a clean break. She had to leave him behind.
Lexie opened one of the top drawers that belonged to Mark. She carefully folded the shirt and placed it in the drawer.
"Keep it."
Lexie turned and saw Mark standing in the doorway. He was still gloriously shirtless. It was difficult for Lexie not to run into his arms as he stood there.
"It's yours," she said.
"No. It became yours a long time ago."
"You knew?"
"That you stole my shirt from my hotel room?" He nodded. "I've loved watching you sleep in it ever since."
"It's still yours."
"Lexie…"
"I need to finish packing."
She shut the drawer and stood quietly for a minute. She knew she probably had more things throughout the apartment. Of course she had toiletries in the bathroom and kitchen paraphernalia in the kitchen, but she didn't really care about those things. She just needed the essentials and then she needed to leave. She couldn't stand to be in that apartment a minute longer.
As soon as he saw the bureau drawer close, Mark headed back into the kitchen. He couldn't watch her pack up her belongings. It was just too painful. He opened up the freezer and took out the bottle of vodka. He went to reach for a glass when he realized he didn't need a glass. He unscrewed the top of the bottle and took a long swig.
In the bedroom, Lexie looked at the bed. She had accomplished to get very few items actually in the suitcase. Most of them were strewn around the bed and on the floor. She bent to pick a pair of Jeans up off the floor when she remembered one more very important thing that she couldn't leave behind.
Going back to the closet, Lexie looked at the shelf at the top of the closet. She had only one box there, but it was an important box. It held her memories. Photos, trinkets, memorabilia, all things that reminded her of her childhood, her family, and her friends. It was an important box. Lexie stood on her tiptoes and stretched upward, trying to reach the box. Her fingertips touched the edge of the box and she pulled it forward slowly. As she pulled it to the edge, she pulled a little to hard and it fell off the shelf, hitting her in the face before falling on the floor and spilling its contents.
"Damn it!" Lexie shouted.
Mark heard the crash from the kitchen and went running towards her. It was pure instinct. He would always protect her no matter what happened. He found her on the floor, her hand covering her nose. He knelt in front of her, bringing his face close to hers.
"Let me see."
"I'm fine," Lexie assured him.
"Who's the plastic surgeon?"
Lexie pulled her hand away. Mark inspected her nose carefully.
"Well?"
He ran the tip of his finger lightly down her nose. "It's not broken." He should have removed his hand from her face, but instead he let his finger trail from her nose to her lips to her cheek. As his other fingers began to dance lightly against her skin, cupping her cheek, she pulled away.
"I need to finish getting my things."
Lexie began picking up the items that fell out of the box and shoving them back inside. She tried to ignore the fact that he was so close to her. He watched her for a minute before he began helping her pick up all the photos and mementos.
"You were cute," he commented.
"What?"
"When you were a kid. You were a cute kid," Mark said as he showed her a photo he had been looking at of her. She looked to be about three years old. She was sitting in a pile of fallen leaves with a huge smile on her face. "You're still cute."
Lexie took the photo from his hand and put it in the box. "You need to stop doing that."
"Doing what?"
"Making those…comments. It's not helping."
"Sorry."
Mark continued to pick up the last remaining things. He looked at each photo before putting them in the box. The last one he had in his hand was one of them. It was from the day they had all gone to play baseball. Someone had taken the picture on their cell phone. Lexie had the baseball helmet that was too big for her on her head and the bat in her hand. Mark's arm was around her waist and he was holding up a beer. Mark was about to open his mouth and comment on the picture when he decided against it. He placed the photo in the box with the others.
Lexie looked around on the floor, making sure they had picked up everything. As she reached for the cover of the box to place on top, she saw the photo. She stared it for a minute before picking it up.
"This was such a horrible day," Lexie stated.
"Horrible?"
"Don't you remember?"
"I remember kicking Derek's ass in baseball and then going home and getting very little sleep because we were a little…busy."
Lexie smiled at the memory. It had been a very good night.
"Don't you remember what happened during the day? We were all running around thinking we were being cut."
"Ah…the blood incident," Mark said, smiling.
"You promised you would never mention that."
"You're the one who brought it up."
"Still, you promised."
"Fine, I promise I'll never bring it up again." They both smiled at each other. "Can I confess something to you?"
"Of course," Lexie answered although she wasn't sure that she really wanted to hear his confession. Every moment in his apartment with him was pulling her deeper into what they used to have.
"That day was one of the scariest days of my life."
"Why? You're a brilliant plastic surgeon. You bring in more money to that hospital than anybody else. What did you have to be worried about?"
"You."
"What?"
"I thought if you left…if you had been cut…I wouldn't have made it."
"You would have been fine."
"No, no I wouldn't. Seeing you every day, being with you…was always the best part of my day. I couldn't imagine not seeing you. I can't imagine not seeing you."
"Well, you can still see me." She paused. "I know this is going to sound incredibly cliché, but we can still be friends, can't we?"
He scooted so he was sitting next to her and put his arm around her. She rested her head against the crook of his arm.
"Yeah, we can."
"Good." They sat together simply taking in each other's company like they had done so many times before. Lexie loved being so close to him, she loved being able to feel him next to her, she loved him. "Can I confess something to you?"
"Of course."
She let go of all of the arguments against why they should stay together. She let go of thinking about babies and families and the future and she let herself just feel.
"I can't sleep without you," she whispered. She picked up her head and looked at him.
"Oh Lexie."
"I wish things were different. I wish we wanted the same things. I wish…I wish we weren't so different in age. I wish…"
"Age is just a number," Mark said, remembering exactly what Derek had told him.
"What did you say?"
"I said age is just a number."
"Do you really mean that?"
"With all my heart."
She let the tears fall from her eyes. "I can't…"
"Don't think. Just feel. What do you want, Lexie?"
"I want…I want…" She couldn't say it. She knew what she wanted, but she couldn't say it. She had too much to work through in her mind. "I know I'm the one who kept pushing you away. I know I'm the one who said that we would never work. And I don't know what's going to happen in the future. I don't know if you can wait to have a baby or if I can give up what I want to have a baby for you. I don't know if we'll make it…"
"What do you want?" He repeated.
"I want you."
His lips were on hers in an instant. They couldn't get enough of each other as his hands tangled in her hair and her hands roamed his naked chest.
"I love you, Little Grey," he whispered into her ear. "And I promise you I'll tell you that every day."
"I love you," she replied.
"I'm sorry I chose her over you. I'm sorry I slept with…"
"Don't. Don't say it. We both made mistakes. We're both sorry. I don't want to think about what we did wrong and I don't want to think about the future. I want to think about now. I want to think about us, here, now."
"So...does that mean we can unpack your suitcase?"
"I had something else in mind," Lexie said playfully.
"I like how you think," he replied, kissing her passionately. "But the bed is a little…messy." He pointed to her open suitcase with all of her clothes thrown in and around it.
"There's still the couch," Lexie stated. "Unless you think your old bones can't handle it."
"Age is just a number, baby."
She cocked her eyebrow as Mark stood up. He held out his hand and she took it. Hauling her to her feet, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the couch.
Author's Note: So, I wrote this chapter very quickly. Once I started, I just couldn't stop. There were so many other little moments and scenes that I wanted to write into this chapter, but I'm happy with the results and I hope you are too. Thank you for letting me indulge myself with this story! And, don't worry, it's not over yet. I've been thinking about an epilogue so stay tuned!
