UPDATE:New chapters will come out later than usual so they could be longer :D #Canceremoticons
Peter Benjamin Parker(Feels like his friends are eating him out of house and home):Wear's a lot of spandex,In middle school he tried to dye his hair black(Ooh edgy),Literally gets paid to take selfies.
Lena Oxton(Ate Peter's entire box of week old pizza):Has an incredibly fast metabolism, Has like 5 variations of the same outfit,works at McDonald's.
"So who would you tap?" Johnny asked the group of 3 guys and 1 girl. Peter had to think about this there were so many attractive women that he knew 'Well there's Black Widow but she's like a psycho,She hulk would destroy me,hmmmm' Peter thought to himself this was most likely the most important decision he will ever make.
"Oh definitely Black Widow." Deadpool chimed in confidentially. Everyone was shaking their heads in agreement.'Oh god there's too many to chose from!' Peter was dying on the inside.
"Oh I got it! Wait for it….She Hulk." Johnny stated confidently followed by more agreement.
Peter looked over at Lena she looked like she was gonna tell them the hottest woman of all time,He was honestly kinda scared.
"You boys ready to blow your loads at this one?" Lena questioned jokingly.
"Well I'm wearing protection at all times so I should be fine." Peter quipped.
"...Squirrel Girl." Lena looked so confident.
"Wait isn't she like 14?"Johnny asked.
"Nah man she's like 19." Deadpool replied.
"And how would you know this Mister Pool." Lena asked.
"I've totally tapped that."
"Bullshit!" Peter yelled
"Dude, I've slept with like everything!"
"Yeah everything that can stand your burger face!"
'At least I can keep a stable relationship!"
"Oooooh ,Peter you just got roasted!" Johnny said.
"How are you gonna come back Petey?"Lena asked.
"I can't." Peter replied
"Peter here is the biggest slut on this side on the mississippi." Deadpool said
"Guilty."Peter admitted
"Anyway Peter what's your pick?" Lena asked
"Easy, Spider-Woman."
"Which one?"Deadpool asked
"The real question is why not all of them?"
"Wait are you proposing a foursome with all the Spider-Women?" Johnny asked
"Pssh Peter could pull it off."Lena said with a seductive look before she realized the awkwardness of what she just said. Lena was a deep shade of red almost a maroon color,Peter was almost the exact tension between the two could kill a man Peter was trying to play it cool but coming off as more awkward while Lena was frozen she wasn't exactly 'helping' either. It felt like hours until something broke the tension, it was a large explosion.
"Aw this is just peachy." Peter dryly joked.
"Well that's my que." Johnny said.
"Aw man thank god for explosions that break tensions so the writer does not have to keep writing."Deadpool quipped breaking the fourth wall as he usually does. Trio of guys began to run out of Peter's dinky little apartment before being interrupted by Lena on the way out.
"Wait Peter,Just be careful"Peter stopped right before he was about to go down the stairs.
"I'll be fine,Besides when has the good ol' Parker luck let me down?"
"I don't know like every time."Johnny replied.
"Come on we've got to go!"
"Wait does she know you're-"
"A photographer, yes."
The boys ran down as Tracer watched.'I hope Peter doesn't get hurt I mean he's just a regular guy.' she thought to herself.
"Jesus Lena you need to chill, he'll be fine." She opened the door to her apartment(which was right next to Peter's). She walked to her bedroom and plopped down on her twin bed. She pulled out her phone and began scrolling through photos, laughing at all the fun times she had with the trio of guys until she came across one Wade took. It was her and Peter at central park laughing together. It was beautiful the sun was just in the right place, all the flowers around them were blooming.
She sighed and tossed her phone on her nightstand she began to stare at the ceiling thinking 'Peters gonna be fine,right?'.
"Peter why can't you just get out of my head?!" She shouted
"But hey do I really want him out of my head?" She then closed her eyes and fell asleep.
"Hello?" Lena shouted she was in a large white canvas.
"Here come dat boi!" she heard someone shout. When out of nowhere a frog on a unicycle rode in and started pedaling but it wasn't moving.
"OH SHIT WADDUP!" this series of events kept happening for almost 2 hours. After the first hour Lena began to question her very existence and the existence of everyone around her.
"Am I dead yet." she whispered.
"No not yet." She turned around it was Peter standing there wearing a pedo trenchcoat..
"Quite the funny meme huh?"
"No this meme makes me want to kill myself."
"Why is that?"
"It's been going on for 2 hours."
"Hey you should go outside."
"Why it's like 2 in the morning." And, with that she woke up and began to walk outside. She opened her door and saw Peter opening his door.
"Hey Peter."
"Oh hey you're up rather….early."
"Peter?"
"Yes?"
"Why are you wearing a Spider-man costume?"
"Well you see I w-"
"You're not, oh my god you are!"
"Shhhhhh" Peter was freaking out this was kind of a big deal. This girl he met like 3 weeks ago found out he was, found out what he was.
"Just don't tell anyone." he whispered
"Oh I won't ,on one condition."
"Oh my god, You're blackmailing me really?"
"Yes I am."
End(No I'm not going to make some jokes cause I used all my good material in this chapter)
