PART I
Chapter Four:
It has been two months since I threw the bowl at the Cullens and made Bella cry. It was a pivotal point for us all. Now I was on spring break, on a plane with Jasper and the Cullens headed to Hawaii for a week. This was going to be one of the most awkward vacations to ever be. I had not spoken a single word to Edward since that day, and now he was seating a row behind me on a plane for almost seven hours. It wasn't my idea to spend spring break with his family. About a month ago Esme and Carlisle had asked us if we wanted to come to Hawaii with them, still under the pretense that we, kids, were all getting along. I told them that I would have to talk to my parents, not wanting to decline their offer. Hoping that my parents would agree me, they actually insisted that Jasper and I go along. So here I was, on my way to Hawaii.
This plane ride gave me plenty of time to think. My mind went back to that day when everything felt like it changed. After I had left Edward, I called Emmett up asking if I could come over. When I arrived at Emmett's place I greeted him with a kiss. I was angry at the time, and irrational. When I kissed Emmett it felt so easy. I knew that I could do this and show Edward I was not jealous. We've been together ever since.
Things were great with us. They felt too great. Emmett has been by side since that day. I appreciated him going above and beyond for me, but sometimes I just needed some space. We did everything together. The couple who ran off in between classes just to make out. That was us. The couple who made out in the parking lot after school. That was us. Emmett was a fantastic kisser though. Whenever we had the opportunity, we kissed. Things never went further than that. He was my shield from my own problems and he didn't know it.
Our group of misfit friends was torn apart. I, and by I, I mean we, Emmett and I, no longer sat at the table with them. I sat with my friends from swim team. Occasionally Alice would come sit with us. I knew she felt torn between doing the right thing and sticking with her brother and Bella. She admonished my actions on that day to be completely unacceptable. She was upset at what I done, but she understood.
Jasper continued to sit with Edward and Bella during lunch. I did not mind him doing that in the least. I eventually told Jasper everything. I mainly did it since Alice said it was either going to be her or me who told him. I had planned on telling my brother what had happened and why it had happened, but not so soon. At least now Jasper knew and I could talk to him. One day in late March, I approached him alone in his room.
"Your feelings for Alice, is it love?" I had asked him.
"I'm most certain it is."
"How do you know?"
"The thing is, it's that you don't know. You feel it. Knowing and feeling are two different things."
I left the conversation at that. I didn't know exactly why I even bothered him about such a topic. Jasper made sense. I knew in my head that I liked Emmett a lot, and enjoyed him a lot. But when I thought about how he made me feel…in my heart, Emmett made me feel safe and happy. There was something missing though. A feeling I could not pinpoint.
Alice was sitting next to me on the plane. She pulled me back from my thoughts and reminded me that we only had an hour left on our flight and then we would be in paradise. Besides Edward coming on this trip, I was looking forward to everything else. I truly needed a vacation. At some point Edward and I would have to confront each other. After going two months of not talking to one another and pretending that the other doesn't exist, it was going to be one giant awkward confrontation. Of course outwardly I pretended Edward didn't exist, but when I wasn't preoccupied with Emmett my mind was still on Edward. I felt cursed for still thinking about him. I wondered what was going on in his head. Whether he truly hated me now or was he being just as stubborn as I was now. We were still in the same class but now we sat next to different people.
I thought about comparing Edward to Emmett. I knew in my head that I still thought about Edward a lot, and that he annoyed me a lot. But in my heart, I felt hurt and torn. When Emmett wasn't there with me I would fall into those feelings leaving me sad. It was not a healthy thing to do so but I continued to dwell on them.
We arrived in Hawaii in the afternoon and took a rental car to the hotel. The hotel suite was as big as an apartment. It had a kitchen, living and dining room, and three bedrooms. Carlisle and Esme took the master bedroom, Alice and I shared a room, and Jasper and Edward shared a room. I had yet said a single word to Edward and him to me. At some point it was going to happen.
Once we did a little unpacking we left to go eat dinner at a restaurant along the beach. Edward and I didn't sit next to each other. Thankfully Alice and Jasper intercepted before that happened. Dinner's conversation went well. We were all on our best behavior for the parents at the table. When dinner was over we headed back to the hotel. Carlisle and Esme left not soon after our return to go downstairs to the hotel's bar.
Alice suggested that we all go swimming at the hotel's pool. At the pool Alice and Jasper kind of kept to themselves. This left Edward and I awkwardly standing in the pool. I glanced over at him. Edward had knelt down in the pool so that only his head was just above the water. A thought crossed my mind and I decided to act on it. I splashed Edward with water. He fell back under water and then stood up. I couldn't read his face, and instantly worried that I did the absolute worst thing. Then a smile crept up on his face and all of a sudden I was hit with a splash. Now I was drenched in water. As I wiped the water out of my eyes I started to laugh. This was the first time in months I've had any contact with Edward and here we were splashing water at each other like children. Edward started laughing as well. Whether he was laughing at me or at the situation as well, it didn't matter. I missed his laugh.
Gradually our laughs began to fade as the moment passed and it became quiet again. I looked around to find that Alice and Jasper had left. Thinking that I should leave to, I climbed out the pool and went over to grab my towel and sandals and head indoors.
"Rosalie wait!" Edward called and jumped out the pool and came after me. I slowed down and turned around. He was just about to grab my arm to stop me but he pulled back. "I want to call a truce. For the sake of vacation."
Finally. A way out. It was exhausting to keep up this charade. "Okay." I was more than okay with this but I didn't want to sound too enthusiastic.
"Okay? That's it?" He looked very skeptical about my reply. Maybe I did sound too enthused.
"Yeah, for the sake of vacation," I repeated his words. He seemed more at ease with that answer. He grabbed his things and offered to walk up to the suite with me. When arrived at the suit Alice and Jasper were sitting in the living room watching tv.
"It's about time you two made up. Jasper and I were worried that we'd have to babysit each of you all during vacation." Alice turned around and gave us a smile and then went back to whatever they were watching.
I went straight to the shower to wash off the chlorine from the pool. It was a good time to reflect on what had just occurred. We had laughed, and it felt so relieving. I smiled to myself as I relived the moment. It was like things had aligned themselves again. Like the past few months never happened. In that short amount of time everything felt so right.
When I got out of the shower I called Emmett. I promised to call him every night. He was away at Disney Land with his family for spring break. I filled him in on all that happened so far, even that Edward and I made up. He was very happy to hear that. I knew that I had put him in a difficult situation and he stood by me all the while, but he missed his friends being together.
The next day we went snorkeling. Now that Alice and Jasper didn't feel the need to babysit anymore, they spent most their time together leaving Edward and I alone. Snorkeling started off as a group activity, but the more time we spent in the water everyone eventually went off in pairs. It wasn't so bad being stuck with Edward. We swam around together checking out the various fish and coral life. We were under the water mainly, so there wasn't much talking. We tried talking through the scuba gear that provided us air, but only sounds of grumbles and air bubbles came through. The time we spent snorkeling felt delicate. Like at any moment we would break. I didn't want that to happen because things were going so nice today. I enjoyed Edward's company. He made me laugh and do silly things whenever I was with him. It felt good.
After snorkeling we all went out to dinner. Everyone was happy and everything felt right in the world. We chatted about the fish and coral reefs we saw on our snorkeling trip.
When dinner was over we were all too tired to do anything else so we watched a movie together back in the hotel suite's living room. I ended up sitting between Alice and her brother. Somewhere in the middle of the movie I fell asleep. I was still sleep when I started to hear voices. I recognized them to be Jasper and Alice. I still kept my eyes closed not wanting to wake up just yet. My senses were coming alert and I realized that in my sleep I had scooted closer to Edward and laid my head down on his shoulder. I was fully awake now but I still kept my eyes closed. I felt Edward breathe in and out, felt his warmth radiate, smelt his shampoo. Being this close to him was everything I ever imagined. I wanted to scoot in closer, have his arms wrap around me. I wanted to breathe him in. But the voices. Alice was saying something. And so I opened my eyes. I found Alice hovering over us, phone in hand doing at what looked like taking a picture. She quickly hid her phone behind her back once she saw me wake up.
"Alice?" I asked her as I sat up away from Edward. I could instantly feel the heat fade away where he once sat on my side. He then woke up when I moved and looked just as confused as I was.
"Oh, you're up!" Alice backed away from us, still holding her phone behind her.
"What were you doing?"
"I told her not to and that it would creepy," Jasper as he grabbed her phone that she was hiding and handed it to me.
"It's not creepy. I just took a picture of them sleeping." Alice confessed.
"That is creepy," Edward spoke. I opened Alice's phone. There was one picture of Edward and I asleep on this couch. It looked so natural of us to be so. My head was on his shoulder, and his head was leaned against mine. I had to remember to ask Alice to send me it later. I handed Edward the phone so that he could see it.
"You guys looked so peaceful. It was cute, so picture worthy." Alice snatched her phone back and walked away. It was late so I decided to call it a night and got up and headed to my room.
I called Emmett on the phone and told him about my day. He was eager to tell me all the things he did at Disney Land that day. I told him that I missed him, thinking he'd say the same thing back to me, but instead he told me that he loved me. I never expected our first 'love you's would have been over the phone. But it was happening. Right now. I hesitated. It never occurred to me to at least prepare for this moment this soon in our relationship. So I did what I had to. I said those three words back to him. In all honestly I knew that I loved him. I just wasn't sure if I was in love with him. Falling in love should be magical and things didn't feel that way with him.
While Alice and I lay in our separate beds in the dark before falling asleep we chatted.
"I want that picture you took of Edward and me," I told her. I knew she probably judged me for wanting it. There was silence for a while. I wish I could see her but it was too dark.
"When you guys were sleeping, Edward was awake." She confessed. There was a pause after she said that, waiting to see if I would say anything. When I didn't she went on, "I knew he was because I know him so well. He was definitely awake the whole time. I think he was only pretending to be asleep because you were actually sleep and he didn't want to wake you." Why would she tell me this? It didn't matter. Edward was just being courteous. I think Alice was leaving something out. Something she didn't want to share with me.
"Emmett told me he loved me today." I blurted out. I knew that I wanted to question Alice more on the subject of her brother. There was something she was hiding, I was sure. But instead I changed the subject. She started asking me questions about when it happened and what exactly did we say to each other. To think just about five months ago I was so content with being single and would have never thought I'd be in the predicament I am now. I have a wonderful boyfriend who makes me happy and who loves me. And then I have Edward, who also makes me happy and sad and nervous and do crazy things like throw glass bowls. Edward could me make laugh just by being with him. His smile made me smile. And today I could add to the list that he felt and smelt good. So good.
After that day we decided to spend most of the next day around the hotel. Alice came with me to go tanning out on the patio down by the pool. Now that I had her alone I took the opportunity to ask her something that's been eating me up since last night. "When you had mentioned how Edward was awake yesterday, was there something else you wanted to tell me?"
This time I could actually see her hesitate. I patiently waited for her response.
"I only didn't want to tell you because I'm not exactly sure myself. But I think you should know…" She paused. Whatever she was about to tell me was going to be huge. I'd never seen her so nervous to tell me something. I nodded for her to go on. "I think Edward likes you in the same way that you like him. I wasn't sure at first because after your family came for the dinner on the first day I told Edward how pretty I thought you were and I asked him if he thought you were pretty. He said no which was a blatant lie. I wondered why he would lie about it. And then whenever you weren't around he would always jokingly get on Emmett about him flirting with you all the time before you two became an item. That's when I really started to suspect. You two go from one extreme to the other. Like you don't know where to place your feelings." Alice went on rambling about other instances when she noticed her brother acting strangely due to me.
As much as I wanted to keep up with her, she was dropping too much information at once. All I could focus on was the part where she said that Edward liked me. If Alice thought it was true then it had to be true. In my mind I never even imagined if Edward liked me back. I knew we were friends but the possibility of him ever liking me more than that never crossed my mind. Edward had Bella and I had accepted that. Well I still try accepting that. He was already tied down. I just assumed that this was going to be a one way crush. And Alice was telling me otherwise.
"Did you tell him about me?" I interrupted her.
"Of course not! I wouldn't do that to you Rosalie. Edward doesn't even know that I think he likes you, and I'm not even sure Edward knows himself. I just don't want see anyone get hurt." I knew she was talking about the fact that Edward and I were in relationships with other people. After Alice's revelation, if it ever came down to it, I would leave Emmett for Edward. I was sure.
Later we went hiking on a trail through the inner island. Now that I knew that Edward might like me back I started paying more attention to him. Not that I wasn't paying attention before, but now I really noticed him. Throughout the hike Edward offered to help me multiple times by holding my hand though the difficult parts of the hike. Before I would have just thought he was just being helpful, but now I thought maybe he was just using it as an excuse to touch me. I didn't really need his help but I let him hold my hand anyways.
When we reached the destination of the hike overlooking a small valley and the ocean in the distance we stopped to rest and take photos. It was a beautiful sight to take in. I felt privileged to be able to share this experience with Edward.
The next day Esme took Alice and me shopping for some girl time. I wanted to pick up a souvenir for Emmett since he asked for one during last night's phone conversation. Emmett probably would have liked anything I choose for him, so I got him one of those Hawaiian button up shirts. I could just see him in it. While we were browsing through a store some guys approached us. They were cute and about our age. They invited us to a party happening later. I told them maybe we would stop by so they gave me the address.
When we arrived back at the hotel suite there wasn't much else to do. We told Edward and Jasper of the party we were invited to and all agreed that we would check it out. The party wasn't too far away from our hotel. It was in a similar hotel along the shore. There were only a few people at the party. No wonder why they were trying to recruit people to come. Everyone there looked about our age. They just had bottles of various alcohol sitting out on the table. When no one was looking I took one the bottles of vodka and slipped it under my arm, grabbed Alice's hand and walked out of the party. We took the elevator and once on the lobby floor we darted out the doors towards the beach.
"What was that about?" Alice asked me, catching her breath. I could see Edward and Jasper coming from the hotel behind us. I waited for them to catch up.
"I took this." I showed the bottle that I took from the party to all of them. They were surprised. I could tell Alice didn't approve, Jasper didn't approve either, but Edward somehow seemed proud. "Come on guys. I did us a favor. That party was lame. Now we can have our own party."
Alice was concerned with how we going to hid the bottle. We couldn't really bring it back to our hotel since their parents were there.
"I have an idea," Edward said. He then ran back into the hotel and when he came out he had two water bottles with him. He dumped the water out and then began filling them with vodka. "Now we walk around with what looks like water."
Alice rolled her eyes but took one of the water bottles now filled with vodka and took the first shot. She then handed it to me and I did the same. We passed around the bottles while we walked along the shore until they were empty. We had sat down and watched the sunset. It was now completely dark out. And I had to admit we were all drunk.
We were walking right along the shoreline now headed back to our hotel suite, barefoot, toes wet as the water waded in and out. Alice and Jasper were together, hand in hand, a few feet ahead of Edward and me. I could feel Edward's hand brush against mine as we walked. I very much wanted to hold his. There was no one around except us, and I was feeling pretty spontaneous so I started taking off my clothes leaving the necessary parts on like my bra and underwear and ran into the water. I didn't have to say anything for everyone else to follow, because they immediately joined me. The water felt warm as I walked next to Edward further into the ocean. We stopped when the water reached our chests.
"This is the most fun I've had in a really long time," I sighed as I told him.
"Me too."
"Can I tell you something?" I knew what I was going to tell was not a good idea. I couldn't stop myself though.
"You can tell me anything, Rose." When he put it like that, then I would most certainty tell him anything. He sounded so trustful and so sincere. He called me Rose. The way he said it sent shivers through my body.
"I like you Edward, in more than a friendship way. I've always had feelings for you. I was afraid of you ever finding out, but I don't care if you know now." Somehow telling him that, was a lot easier than how I imagined it would have been. Edward was quiet for some time. I knew then that he wasn't going to admit his feelings for me. I was still glad that I told him.
"We should head back now. Carlisle and Esme are probably worried why we haven't returned yet."
It hurt a little that he didn't even acknowledge what I had told him. We went back to the shore and put our clothes back on. I was surprised that, on the walk back to the hotel, Edward held my hand the whole way. Sometimes he didn't express this feelings through words, but with his actions. It was comforting to have him by my side.
When we got back to the hotel I was so sleepy that I hopped in bed. I almost forgot that I needed to call Emmett. It sounded as if he had been asleep when I called because it was so late, but still glad to hear my voice. We talked for a very short time because he could tell from my slur of speech that I had been drinking. He said he wished he could have been with us. I thought about how if Emmett had been here none of the good things with Edward would have happened. My priorities were kind of messed up.
It was our last day in paradise. My last day with Edward before we had to return to Forks to the ones we loved. This whole trip was more than I could have hoped for. I felt truly happy. I was no longer at ends with Edward and I finally confessed my feelings to him. I hadn't actually spoken to him or had any time with him throughout the day though. At some point he was probably going to want to talk about what I said last night. Alice and I decided to try and get one more tanning session in out on the patio.
"You and Edward seemed really close last night." Alice said.
"Did we?"
"Yes. You guys were holding hands, practically in your own little bubble the whole night."
"What? You and Jasper were the ones in your own little bubble." Which I believed to be true, but when I thought back to last night, I didn't remember Alice and Jasper being around much. Weird…
Alice was watching me as I thought about it. "See, even you don't remember. That's because you two were off in your own world. Rosalie, I'm telling you this as your best friend. As long as you're with Emmett and as long as Edward is with Bella, whatever is going on between you and my brother is not right. People will get hurt."
"You're right." And she was right. This whole situation was twisted. It wasn't just about Edward and me. We had other people to think about. My feelings for him would not change but I could do the right thing. At least I hoped that I could do the right thing.
Towards the evening Edward asked me to go on a walk with him. I knew this was going to be the moment when he would let me down and tell me that he did not feel the same feelings towards me. It would make it easier to forget everything that happened in Hawaii, all those precious moments we spent together. We had been happy, but maybe I was thinking too much into it. He could possibly not feel the same as I did. After my talk with Alice I had a new perspective. I had to think about Emmett and I didn't want to break his heart. I knew he loved me so much. What Emmett and I have is good and Edward would not leave Bella. I couldn't have been more blessed to have Emmett in my life. Edward and I walked in silence until the hotel was longer in view. He stopped and turned to face me. He didn't say anything. I would have to help him start.
"If this is about what I said last night, I know it was probably out of line. I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore and I can live with whatever you're about to tell me."
"Rose, what do you think I'm about to tell you?" He genuinely looked curious. If this was his way of trying to let me down by having me say it, it was kind of cruel.
"That you don't feel the same way I do about you." I looked down at the ground, waiting for him to say those words. I told myself I would brave. Instead Edward stepped closer to me and gently lifted up my chin so that I was looking at him. He was smiling. Actually smiling at my demise.
"But I do." He finally said, and before I knew it his lips were on mine. His lips felt like nothing I've ever tasted before. They were soft and urgent. I was pulled into him and it just felt so right. I had not expected this. He was supposed to break it off with me and I had agreed to Alice that would do the right thing. This was neither. As much as I did not want to, I pushed myself back away from Edward.
"What are you doing?" I asked him, somewhat out of breath.
"Kissing you," he smirked. It's not like I haven't seen Edward smirk before, but the smirk he just gave me sent me shivers and all I wanted to do was be pressed up against him. Forgetting what else I wanted to say, I did exactly that. I went back to him and kissed him. I pulled him as close to me as I could. I started hearing Alice's voice in my head telling me to do the right thing. Do the right thing. Reluctantly, I pulled away from him again.
"We can't do this. As long as I have Emmett and you have Bella, it isn't right," I said, repeating Alice's words. I could see Edward's facial expressions go from hurt to understanding.
"I thought I was alone in this until you told me last night that you had feelings for me. I've always liked you, even before you moved here. I would look at pictures of us together when we were younger and just think that somehow you were the one. I thought I would never see you again and so I moved on. But then you came back." He trailed off. His words hurt, but only because I knew how honest he was being and how hard it was going to be for me to do the right thing.
"The times I've had here in Hawaii with you are unforgettable. But I think it's best if what happens in Hawaii stays in Hawaii." I couldn't say anymore. Tears were coming down my face as I turned to quickly walk away from him. Everything he had said was all I ever wanted to hear and now I just walking away.
"Rosalie, wait!" Edward called after me. When I wouldn't stop, he jogged after me. He grabbed my hand and turn me back around. "What happens in Hawaii stays in Hawaii," he agreed. "But we still have this last day."
A/N: I want to thank the first three followers of this story: BasicMarie, Lanabelle, and DMBO. Also big thank you to those who reviewed. You guys are wonderful.
Let me know what you think Edward and Rosalie did on their last day in Hawaii ;)
