They head off. There is a montage of their journey. Walking through a field at sunset. Sleeping beneath a bright moon. Link trying to put the campfire out the next day and having a bit of a problem, so Aryll pours a potion on it to put it out.
Shrek and Donkey are walking up to the keep that's supposed to
house Princess Zelda. It appears to look like a giant volcano. There is the Dragon's Keep.
Aryll sniffs the air. "Ohh! Big Brother! Did you do that? You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open and everything."
Link shakes his head and sniffs the air.
"Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about that it's the brimstone. I know what I smell. It wasn't brimstone. It didn't come off as a stone stone either." Aryll grumbles.
They climb up the side of the volcano/keep and look down. There is a small piece of rock right in the center and that is where the castle is. It is surrounded by boiling lava. It looks very foreboding.
"Uh, Big Brother? Uh, remember when you said that Heroes have Variety?" Aryll asks, shaking a little
Link nods.
"Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Sidekicks don't have variety. Most of us are still the scared stereotypes they make of us." Aryll is showing her fear more now.
"No, I'm not afraid of heights. I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava!" Aryll looks down to see the lava and yelps in fear.
Link soothes her body and calms her down.
"Really? You'll be right next to me for support?" Aryll asks.
Link nods.
Aryll hugs him. "Okay, that makes me feel so much better." She goes first, and Link is right behind her.
"Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down." She tells herself as she continues to move forward slowly. She steps through a rotting board and ends up looking straight down into the lava)
"Big Brother! I'm looking down! Oh, goodness, I can't do this! Just let me off, please!" Aryll squeals.
Link rolls his eyes and points to the other side.
"We might be halfway, but I only know that half is safe!"
Link sighs and points back where they came from. He starts pushing her back. He accidentally bounces and sways the bridge.
"Don't do that!" Aryll exclaims.
Link seems confused at first, but then bounces the bridge again.
"Yes, that!" Aryll nods not to do that.
Link nods and continues to bounce and sway as he backs Aryll across the bridge
"No, Big Brother! That's not what I meant! No! Stop it!" Aryll starts to panic.
Link refuses to stop swaying the bridge.
"I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Big Brother, I'm gonna die." She then steps onto solid ground "Oh!"
Link pats her head and walks towards the castle
"Cool. So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?" Aryll asks.
Link points to the picture of Princess Zelda given to him. He chuckles
"I was talking about the Valoo, Big Brother." Aryll corrects herself.
They now travel inside the castle.
"Big Brother, you aren't afraid, are you?" Aryll asks.
Link shakes his head.
"But..." Aryll tries to keep on speaking.
Link puts his finger to his mouth.
"Oh, good. Me neither." Aryll seems safe for a moment, until she sees a skeleton and gasps. "Because there's nothing wrong with being afraid. Fear's a sensible
response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. I'm surely no coward. I know that." Aryll trips over some leftover knight armor.
Link shushes her again, and points to the stairs.
"Stairs? I thought we were looking for the princess." Aryll replies.
Link puts on a helmet and turns to her once more.
"What makes you think she'll be at the highest room of the tallest tower?" Aryll asks.
Link replies, and walks off.
DONKEY
"You read it in a book once? Cool. You handle Valoo. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going." Aryll begins to look for the stairs.
In an empty room, Aryll is still talking to herself as she looks around the room.
"I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the
stairs. I wish I had a step right here. I'd step all over it." Aryll looks around and sees a hole in the wall. She looks through it and on the other side, she sees a bright, yellow eye open. She gasps.
Link spots a light in the tallest tower window. Link looks around for the dragon, when suddenly...
"Valoo!" Aryll cries out. She takes off running as the dragon roars again. Link manages to grab Aryll out of the way just as the dragon breathes fire.
Link manages to get a hold of Valoo tail and holds on. The dragon gets irritated at this and flicks it's tail and Link goes flying through the air and crashes through the roof of the tallest tower. Zelda wakes up with a jerk and looks at him lying on the floor.
Aryll is left by herself. "Oh! Aah! Aah!"
Aryll gets cornered as the Dragon knocks away all but a small part of the bridge she's on.
"No. Oh, no, No!" Aryll braces for impact. Valoo roars.
"Oh, what large teeth you have!"
Valoo growls.
"I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all time from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You're..."
Valoo gets closer so you can see his face.
"You're a guy dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a guy dragon. You're just reeking of masculinity.
Valoo starts dazing off into Aryll's eyes.
"What's wrong? Do I have something in my teeth?" Aryll checks.
Valoo blows smoke at Aryll.
"Ohh. Oh. Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh..." Aryll tries to blow away the smoke.
Valoo blows a smoke ring in the shape of a heart right at her, and she coughs
"I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings... Big Brother!"
Valoo picks her up with his teeth and carries her off
"No! Link! Link! Link!"
In Zelda's Room, Link groans as he gets up off the floor. His back is to Zelda so she straightens her dress and lays back down on the bed. She then quickly reaches over and gets the bouquet of flowers off the side table. She then lays back down and appears to be asleep. Link turns and goes over to her. He looks down at Zelda for a moment and she puckers her lips. Link takes her by the shoulders and shakes her awake.
"Oh! Oh!" She exclaims as she gets shaken up. "What?"
Link takes a look at her.
"Yes, I am Princess Zelda, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me." Zelda says.
Link rolls his eyes and grabs her by the hand. He pulls her so they can get running.
"But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment?" Zelda asks.
Link shakes his head.
"No time? Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed." Zelda explains.
Link turns to her.
"Yes, I had a lot of time to plan this." Zelda nods.
Link breaks the lock on her door and pulls her out and down the hallway.
"But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!" Zelda groans.
Link shakes his head again.
"Can I at least know the name of my champion?" Zelda asks.
Link nods.
"Sir Link." Zelda clears her throat and holds out a handkerchief. "I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude."
Link takes the handkerchief and wipes his dirty helmet off.
Suddenly they hear the dragon roar.
Zelda is surprised. "You didn't slay the dragon?"
Link shakes his head and pulls out his sword. He takes off running and drags Zelda behind him.
"But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That's what all the other knights did.
Link gestures to all of the dead and burnt bodies.
"That's not the point." Zelda responds.
Link suddenly stops and she runs into him. Link ignores her and heads for a wooden door off to the side.
"Wait. Where are you going? The exit's over there." Zelda points to the other direction.
Link points to the door. He pulls out the picture he got from DuLoc and shows her Aryll, who is beside him.
"What kind of knight are you?" Zelda asks.
Link opens the door into the throne room. There, Valoo has Aryll on a pillow next to him. Valoo is obviously still alert of her running, so he isn't fully relaxed.
"Slow down. Slow down, Valoo, please. I believe it's healthy to get to know someone over a long period of time." Aryll explains. "Just call me old-fashioned." She laughs
worriedly.
Link sneaks into the room.
I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. I'm not emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this..." Aryll can't seem to find the word. Then she remembers. "Magnitude really is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude."
Valoo starts to snuggle close to her.
"Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, okay."
Link grabs a chain that's connected to the chandelier and swings toward the dragon. He misses and he swings back again.
"Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to know each other first as friends or pen pals. I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards. I'd really love to stay, but... Don't do that! That's my Dress! That's my favorite dress. You're gonna tear it! I don't give permission... what are you gonna do with that?"
He looks up and spots that the chandelier is right above the dragons head.
"Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh!"
He pulls on the chain and it releases and he falls down and bumps Aryll out of the way right as the dragon is about to kiss her. Instead Valoo kisses Link's butt. He opens his eyes and roars. Link lets go of the chain and the chandelier falls onto his head, but it's too big and it goes over his head and forms a sort of collar for him. He roars again and Link along with Aryll take off running; Very 'Matrix' style. Link grabs Aryll and then grabs Princess Zelda as he runs past her.
"Hi, Princess!" Aryll waves.
They all start screaming as the dragon gains on them. Link spots a descending slide and jumps on. But unfortunately there is a crack in the stone and it hits Link right in the groin. His eyes cross and as he reaches the bottom of the slide, he stumbles off and walks lightly.
Link groans in pain. He gets them close to the exit and sets down Aryll and Zelda.
"What? You're fighting Valoo alone? No, I won't let you go in there alone, Big Brother!" Aryll tries to come along, but Link points to the exit. They both start running. "Be careful."
Link nods to her and grabs a sword. He heads back toward the interior of the castle. He throws the sword down in between several overlapping chain links. The chain links are attached to the chandelier that is still around Valoo's neck.
Link reunites with the others and they all take off running for the exit with the dragon in hot pursuit. They make it to the bridge and head across. Valoo breathes fire and the bridge begins to burn. They all hang on for dear life as the ropes holding the bridge up collapse. They are swung to the other side. As they hang upside down they look in horror as the dragon makes to fly over the boiling lava to get them. But suddenly the chandelier with the chain jerk sends Valoo back and he's unable to get to them. Our gang climbs quickly to safety as Valoo looks angry and then gives a sad whimper as he watches Aryll walk away.
Zelda slides down the 'volcano' hill. "You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing."
Behind her Aryll falls down the hill.
"You're... You're wonderful. You're..." She turns and sees Link fall down the hill and bump into Aryll.
"A little unorthodox I'll admit. But thy deed is great, and thy heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt." Zelda bows to Link.
Aryll clears her throat.
"And where would a brave knight be without his protégée?" Zelda gestures to Aryll.
"I hope you heard that. She called me a protegee. She thinks I'm a protegee... Uh... what's a protegee?" Aryll asks.
"The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight." Zelda says.
Link shakes his head.
"Why not?" Zelda asks.
Link can't think of anything, so he points to his head.
"You have helmet hair? Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer." Zelda replies.
Link shakes his head again.
"But how will you kiss me?" Zelda asks.
"What?" Aryll turns to Link. "That wasn't in the job description. Or maybe it's more of a perk."
"No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. The lovely Princess Zelda is captured by an evil force and locked away in a tower to be rescued by a man in green. And then they share True Love's First Kiss." Zelda explains.
"With Big Brother? You think- - Wait. Wait. You think that Link is you true love?" Aryll asks.
"Well, yes."
Both Donkey and Shrek burst out laughing.
"You think Big Brother is your true love!" Aryll says while still laughing.
"What is so funny?" Zelda asks.
Link stops laughing and explains.
"Not my type? Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now... Now remove your helmet." Zelda replies.
Link shakes his head.
"Just take off the helmet." Zelda repeats.
Link shakes his head again.
"Take it off." Zelda says, getting angry.
Link once more shakes his head.
"Now!" Zelda yells.
Link finally gives in with a sigh, and takes off his helmet. Revealing the Nine-Year-Old Boy.
"You... You're just... a kid." Zelda stammers in shock.
Link shrugs.
"Well, yes, I was expecting a sixteen-year old, actually." Zelda realizes what this means. "Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be a Child."
Link seems annoyed.
"Lord Demniss wants to marry me? Then why didn't he come rescue me?" Zelda asks.
"But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some ogre and his... his sidekick." Zelda exclaims in anger.
"Well, so much for protegee." Aryll sighs
Link sighs and explains.
"I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Demniss that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here." Zelda sits down on a stump.
"Hey! Big Brother is no one's messenger boy, all right?" Aryll says ominously "He's a delivery boy."
"You wouldn't dare." Zelda narrows her eyebrows.
Link swiftly picks her up and swings her over his shoulder like she was a sack of potatoes)
"Put me down!" Zelda tries to wiggle free.
Link nudges to Aryll.
"I'm right behind ya, Big Brother." Aryll follows.
"Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down!" Zelda screeches.
