Oh man, no complaints about San? And it was such a bad entry. I had a writersblock the size of the moon.
Teehee. This one will be better! I finally got my own computer, therefore am happy, therefore am inspired.

Inspired by: My new comp, Resident Evil 4 once again, Dragonball GT. (I love Vegeta's hair, I forgot how cool GT was.) and ma friend Shadie
Disclaimer: I don't own WWE, CM Punk, or anything else mentioned in this fic, unless I do own it, but you won't care, so why mention it?

Read and review, or read and enjoy. Reading and flaming is possible but not recommended.


Chapter 4; CM Punk!
August 10.

09:00
It be me, strangah. CM Punk. Or Phil. Call me Punk, and never reveal my true name, for it might cost you dearly.

09:12
I'm meeting up with the gun-man again today. He told me he has some nice things on sale. I wonder if he has any mopeds, I'd like a custom moped. One that shoots off bullets when you ring a bell or something.

09:16
I forgot, I could just take Festus with me and ring a bell. Festus is a lot more dangerous than a gun, let me tell you that. I know because one time I rang a bell because I wanted to get into someone's house, and since Festus was already in he speared me to the ground.
Then Glen came and speared Festus to ground, Jesse speared Glen to the ground, Mark speared Jesse to the ground and then ran into a wall. We were all on the ground.

09:19
Except for this... Statue. I still wonder why Jesse and Festus have so many statues, most are of naked men.
Meh, they probably got them from Paulie and Shawn... Or as San says these days; Sean Paul.

09:45
My feet are cold. There are 3 things to do about that.

1. Buy socks.
2. Steal socks.
3. Make someone else steal me socks.

I go for 2. I can steal, I learned it from the great master of stealing, which would be Glen. Even though he hasn't stolen anything in over a year.
I should tell him to do it again, his skills might get rusty...

10:00
Ken came in.

"Hello there, strangah!"
"Punk..." Ken said, "I think I will have you picked up by men in white coats."
"You mean dentists?!" I yelled.

I forgot about my coolness. Dentists are not cool. UNCOOL KEN!

"No, from the insane asylum.' Ken continued.
"Oh... I can live with that."

Did he really have to scare me like that?
I suppose.

10:09
Paul keeps visiting me, asking for the gun-man's number. I don't want Paul to buy his guns too, he's my friend, not his.
I hardly have any friends for myself, they're all friends with someone else too. Rather annoying.

10:23
I wonder if Ken really will have me taken to some insane asylum. I also wonder what I'm supposed to do there. Go to therapy?
I don't need therapy, I got guns. All of life's biggest problems can be solved with guns. It really is that simple.

11:00
Ken came back.

"What're ya buying?" I asked him nicely.
"Nothing, I arranged for you to get therapy."
"Oh, why?" I asked.
"You obviously need it..." Ken said.
"Whatever, as long as men in white coats leave me alone."
"Your first session is today, around... 3." Ken said.
"Oh, that'll do..."

I shrugged. Ken can make me go to therapy, but that doesn't mean I'll ever be sane again.
Or sane in the first place. I'm not even sure if I ever was.

11:09
I wonder what they'll make me talk about... I have a very odd and secretive past...

11:15
I hope they won't make me tell about my childhood. My childhood was very... Tiring.

11:21
Time to go see my friend...

12:00
Ah, arrived at his place. He looks nice today. I think... He has never shown me his face, I wonder what he's hiding...

"Hello there, strangah!" He said when he saw me.
"I have a name, man..." I mumbled.
"What're ya buying?" He asked.
I sighed. "How are you, man?" I asked.
"What're ya selling?"
"Come on, aren't we friends?"

The merchant stared at me for a few seconds.

"Got a selection o' good things on sale, strangah!"
"Arghhhh..." I mumbled.

"You got new handguns?' I finally asked.
"Ahhh, did ya shoot the medallions?" The Merchant asked.
I nodded. "Eleven."
"Here you go, it's on da house strangah..."
"Thanks."
"That gun will blast a bullet through two enemies!"

I like that... I could shoot San and Paul both at the same time.

"Thanks..." I said.
"Heheheheee.." The Merchant just snickered.

So much for our friendship.
I know he has a limited vocabulary, but it's getting annoying.

12:45
Ken keeps following me around, to see if I'm making an attemt to run off, because I want to dodge that shrink appointment.
Am not going very odd places to see if he keeps following me...

13:00
In a closet. Very narrow too. Ken came with me... I have to...

13:04
"Ken, time to get out of the closet." I said after stepping out.
"Ugh..." Ken mumbled.
"Ken is coming out, he's coming out!" I yelled
Kane glared at me, and Taker is dancing again. I bet nobody knows this, but deep inside Taker wants to be a dancer. Why do you think he wears that outfit? He's one frilly skirt away from being a ballerina.

13:05
Ken came out of the closet.

"Ask San to date you." I said.
"Huh?"

He's very clueless sometimes.

13:17
I found stickers! Oh my, I love stickers!
I have to stick them to something, but to what?

13:22
Walking around, looking for sleeping people. Around here wrestlers sleep in the weirdest places. Like on tables, under tables, sitting in a chair, or sitting behind a plant.
Especially girls sleep behind plants.

13:28
It's the Big Show!
He's asleep on a chair, which looks way too tiny to hold his body. That man is just...

Who cares, stickers!
I stuck a sticker to his forehead. He has a lot of forehead, so I picked the big one. A big, red heart on the Big Shows face!

13:44
Ken is still following me. Very sneaky, had I not been so epic, I wouldn't have noticed. But I am epic, I know everything.
Except the square root of 2938.

I'm bad with numbers.

13:54
Look it's Edge.

"Edge!" I yelled.
"My name is Adam..."
"Whatevah..."
"What do you want?"
"I wanna sell you something..." I said.
"Not gonna happen."

Edge is the Rated-R superstar. If you ask me Vickie is more rated R than Edge. Together they're rated G. For Gigantic underpants.

13:59
I don't mean Edge's, he wears thongs.

14:09
Ken is hiding behind a pillar. I know because he's talking to someone. Probably himself.
Let's get a little closer, shall we?

"You're sexy." I heard him mumble.
"You're very sexy dude, I wish I could do you..."
"But... I can't. Because I'm Ken."
"You're... No."
"No..." Ken sighed. "I love you more than Joni."

What?! Ken is having an affair?

"Tonight we can get it on again..." He mumbled.

WHAT? That is so wrong!

"Yes... I need to buy vaseline first though."
"..." -Sighs-
"I love you so much it hurts..."

Heeeee... I wonder who the hell he's talking to?

"Hmmmm, you make me happy. Nobody does it better than you do..."
-Groans-

OH MY I CAN'T TAKE IT!

I stepped away from my hiding place and confronted Ken, wanting to know who he was talking to.

"KEN!" I yelled.
Ken looked up scared. "What?"

Not until then I saw who he was talking to.

"Sooooooo..." I said. "Is that a mirror?"

14:14
Ken needs a shrink too. He like soooo. Thingy. Don't know the word.

14:32
Shellfish?

14:43
One time I went fishing with Edge, and Edge caught a crab. He took it home as a pet. A few days later the crab evolved and turned into a gigantic catfish.
For some reason I now think Pokemon wasn't made up.

14:55
In the waiting room of my new shrink. Ken's here too, to make sure I don't spear through the door...
Like Ken could make me stay. I'm stronger than he is. I'm mister Money In the Bank.

Soon anyway.

14:58
One time I saw a monkey in a bank. When I called it mr. Monkey in the Bank nobody got my joke. I was the only one laughing.
How lame eh.

15:00
My shrink is a dude my age.
This is gonna be some conversation...

"Mr... Punk." He said.
"Aye."
"Tell me about yourself."

I thought for a moment... It's hard to talk about yourself, just from scratch. I don't remember things like when I was born, or when I became a huge Bon Jovi fan.

15:04
"I am Punk. Also known as CM, or Mr. Pepsi... Or Mr. Money in the Bank. Not because I have money, but because I'm a great climber."
"Really?" That dude asked.
"Well, yes. Very good."
"Where'd you learn that?"
"Eh... When I was a kid I used to hide in trees." I said.
"Why? What were you hiding from?"
"Dinosaurs."

It's true, I once Jurassic Park, and I was scared for days. No, weeks. No, months.
Oh hell, I still climb in trees to hide from dino's.

"But..." That dude said. "Dino's are a lot taller than trees."
I shrugged. "So?"
"So hiding in a tree doesn't work."
"Of course it works, they can't see me through leaves..."
"They can't?"
"No, unless they have a sixth sense, but not many do."

That dude is clueless.

15:16
"Why is your name CM Punk?" That dude asked.
"Because my isn't Jeremy Daniels."
"Excuse me?"

Clueless indeed.

15:19
"How come you're so... Strange?"
"I can't tell you..."
"Why not?"
"Well..." I said, "I'd have to kill you."
"Oh... Okay."

15:33
"Tell me mr. Punk, what is the most frightening thing that ever happened to you?"
"Uhm..." I blushed.
"Yes?"
"Well one time I was downloading a song..." I said. I shivered, I don't want to go there.
"Yes?"
"And when it finished... I opened it..."
"What were you downloading?" Mr. Dude asked.
"Spice Girls."
"Aha..."

What? Don't look at me like that, I got girl power too!

"And what happened?" The Dude asked.
"Well, instead of playing the Spice Girls it played..."
"Ahhh?"
"PORN!"

Mr. Dude stared at me for a moment.

"Aha, that can be quite traumatising, how old were you back then? Twelve of thirteen?'
"Twenty-six."

15:43
Mr. Dude isn't speaking anymore. He's just scribbling on paper, and he just made a phonecall.

15:55
"Mr. Punk..." He said. "I have arranged for some people to pick you up, you need more help than I can get you."
"Will there be men in white coats?" I asked.
"Yes..."

My heart skipped a beat. Or two. Three...

Six...

Am I dead?

15:57
"D-d-d-dentists?"

Mr. Dude started staring again. I believe he has a thing for me.

16:09
Men in white coats arrived. They put me in a 'straightjacket'. That's what they called it.
I asked them if there were any 'gayjackets' too. They stared at me.

16:13
Still staring at me.

"Keep staring, I might do a trick." I said with a wide smile.

16:17
In a car. With padding everywhere! Even on the ceiling!
I wonder how people are able to run into a ceiling...
Or do they pick up nutty flies too?

16:19
Is it normal I can't move around in this jacket? I mean, no normal jacket has a zipper on the back right?

16:27
"So." I said. "Can I make a phonecall?"
"What? Why?" The white dude asked me.
"Well, you're locking me up, I am entitled to one phonecall."
"Heh?"

I know my rights mr. Dude! I really do! I once went to lawschool you know!

16:34
"I went to lawschool." I said to Mr. White Dude.
"Really? For how long?"
"Five minutes, I had to pick up my girlfriend."

And yes, there he goes again.

"Enough with the staring already!" I mumbled.

17:00
In a strange house with locks on every door. Maybe they want to see how fast I can escape?
They´re in for something alright! I escaped many places, so I'll be out here in no time.

17:10
Bored. I want to do something, but I can't, because I have to wait for some doctor.
I wonder what everyone else is doing.

17:14
It's arrived. Another doctor dude, there's a lot of them out there eh.

"Mr. Punk, how are you?" He asked.
"A bit tied-up at the moment."

He stared at me. Such a pain.

17:18
"Mr. Punk, why are you here?"
"You tell me, strangah." I replied.

17:24
Someone tell me how I'm writing with a straightjacket on. Nobody is gonna believe this...

17:30
"Mr. Punk, do you smoke?"
"No, I am straight-edge."
"That's nice."
"Indeedy... The straightjacket really completes me."

More staring.

17:34
"Mr. Punk, tell me... How much is 3 times 3?"
"The square root 81."

That made him think for a moment. HAH!

"That's actually correct..." The dude said.

Duh.

17:39
"Mr. Punk, if I have 7 apples, and I destroy 6, what do I have left?"
"Apple sauce."

The Dude blinked. I blinked back. It was a blinking game for about a whole minute.

17:43
"Do you have a girl, Mr. Punk?"
"No."
"Why not?"

I sighed. Is it really that important to have a lover?

"I have better things to do." I said.
"Like what?"
"Watching my hair grow."

Damn shrinks. I'm already bored here.

18:00
Time for the epic escape of the day.
Presenting Punk Copperfield, in insane asylums near you now!

18:34
ugmg. i got stung wih a nedle,. in ma bum. arjhgsx bnv what.

byea


No get pissed plz, I love Punk! 3333