A/N: So this chapter is nicknamed "the chapter that wouldn't end." It just kept going and going. I finally figured out how to end it but I had a lot to say before I got to that point. Well I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Chapter 3 – Road to the Unknown
Screee! Blades scratched the ice as Casey danced around his opponents. His stick expertly guided the puck; his eyes stayed locked on the net. There…that's his opening! The goalie shifted his position in anticipation of the shot, firmly positioning himself between Casey and the goal. A cocky smirk tugged the side of Casey's mouth. Then, Casey suddenly veered the opposite direction, coming up to the now unguarded side of the net. He lifted his stick, and finally slapped the puck hard. Swoosh! Brrrr!
"Hell yeah! Suck it, boys!" He taunted while thrusting his pelvis in a highly suggestive victory dance.
Casey didn't bother to hide the fact he was the best and the rest of the team could chew on their subpar, loser asses. Come on, he was the only freshman who got actual ice time. Everyone knew he was the backbone of the team, the rest just supported him…and they despised him for it. He didn't care. As long as they kept winning, the team was forced to tolerate his antics.
"One of these days someone's gonna knock you off that high horse of yours," the team's captain warned jokingly, slapping Casey a high five.
"Let them try, Johnny!"
"Good one, Jones," the "opposing" goalie complimented. "Not sure where you got that kind of agility from."
"All natural talent, man."
"Alright, bring it in boys!" The coach ordered, concluding their scrimmage. After some final comments and game planning for the upcoming game, the team was dismissed for the night.
Casey pulled off his helmet and shook the excess sweat out of his hair. The wet strands clung to his forehead and cheeks. After entering the locker room and taking a seat on the bench, Casey ripped his gloves off, quickly untied the laces and yanked his skates off. He sighed in relief as his feet were freed from bondage. Next, his jersey and pads were discarded into one big sweat-soaked pile. Casey stared at his belongings, working up the motivation to actually change and go back to his dorm, but he was just so damn tired.
I shouldn't have sat down.
But so long he wasn't getting up, he may as well check in with his digital social life. Casey grabbed his bag and fished out his phone. The screen illuminated brightly, displaying his university's logo set as his wallpaper, but then his heart skipped a beat as he noticed the missed call message.
April?
Casey stared at her name as a whirlwind of emotions swam through his mind. Longing. Sorrow. Excitement. Worry. Anxiousness. Why would she be calling? April made it quite clear that she never wanted to speak to him again. Maybe it was an emergency. She went to school in the city so she still ran into his family. Did something happen to his dad? Or his sister? Or maybe the Kraang were at it again…or the Foot…or both?!
Get a grip, Jones!
A shaky exhale huffed out. He dug his fingers into his hair as he used his hand to support his head. It took several seconds of staring at the phone to realize that April had actually left a voicemail. Then he shifted his focus to stare at the voicemail alert but couldn't seem to bring his finger to tap on the play button. For the last month, he had wished to hear her voice again but now he was caught up in fear of not knowing what was awaiting him.
Would ya stop being a coward and just play it!
As if his thumb heard the command, it pressed the voicemail alert and positioned the phone by his ear.
"Uh…h-hey….um…Casey, w-we need to talk…"
April's voice shook, uncontrollably. Why was she so nervous? A long awkward silence followed.
"Look, there's no easy way to say this…."
Oh God! Someone must have died! Someone's dead! Who died?!
"…I'm pregnant…"
Whatever April may have said next had fallen on instantly deaf ears, bouncing off a mental wall. The auditory canal no longer received any input as his brain tried to process through the words. Finally the message ended Casey, however, had no idea what other information the message contained. He pressed replay and listened again.
"…I'm pregnant. I decided to go through with the pregnancy and will be raising the baby. I wasn't sure what your feelings would be about how much you want to be involved but you at least deserved to know that you'll be a father. Um, so if you could just call me back and we can talk about where you stand and all…um, yeah….well, b-bye."
Pregnant?! Baby?! Father?! But how?!
"Everything okay, Jones?"
Casey nearly jumped out of his skin and yelped in a bit of an unnaturally high voice.
"Hey, man. Are you doing alright?" Johnny inspected his younger teammate in concern. A fresh round of sweat had beaded on Casey's head. Avoiding Johnny's gaze, Casey's eyes shifted around nervously.
"Yeah, man, it's cool. Everything's fine."
Casey quickly shoved his phone and gear into his pack and wordlessly rushed out of the locker room. The moment he stepped out, Casey was greeted by cold air stinging his wet face. Frost seemed to instantly crystalize on his long, albeit shorter than in high school, locks. He haphazardly flung his pack into the passenger seat and slammed the door as soon as he plopped into the driver seat. Sighing, he allowed his head to lightly bang against the steering wheel. For a few moments his head rested on the wheel and let out another miserable sigh. He tried to will his body to turn on the ignition and drive back to his dorm but hi body refused to move even an inch.
Damn it, Casey! You can't just stay here all night!
The moment he finally got the car in motion, the world around him became a blur. He somehow made it safely to the dorm's parking lot though he couldn't really remember driving the route. He pulled out the heavy bag but the weight did not compare to the burden that pulled on his heart. As he made his way to his room, Casey did not bother to acknowledge anyone around him even when his buddies called out "hey." The blinders were firmly on – completely tunneled vision until he reached his room. Once he closed the door, Casey was ambushed from behind as a pair of slender arms snaked around his neck. Releasing a surprised gasp, Casey spun around nearly knocking his assailant to the ground.
"What the hell, Casey?!" The girl shrieked. Green eyes stared at him, mixed with surprise and anger. "I thought it would be cute to sneak in for some alone time. Guess I was wrong!"
"I-I," Casey stammered at a loss for words. "Hailey, I'm sorry. I was just preoccupied. I didn't even notice you were here."
Hailey narrowed her eyes and stared at him almost as if trying to peer into his soul. Then she walked forward, swaying her hips seductively in the process, and once again wrapped her arms around his neck.
"And what exactly was on your mind?"
"Family stuff," he spat out a little to abruptly. "Uh, I really don't wanna talk about it."
"Oh…," Hailey's voice trailed off in disappointment. Then her eyes flashed a mischievous glint. "I can help get your mind off it, if you want." She then leaned in and gently kissed his lips. She offered a few soft, brief kisses before deepening the kiss, sucking on his bottom lip. As her hands trailed down his chest, fingering down over is muscular torso, her fingers finally found their way to the zipper of his pants. Casey gasped against her kiss, inhaling some of his own saliva, and unceremoniously ended their session with a violent round of choking coughs.
"I'm – (cough) - sorry – (cough, cough) -" Casey covered his mouth into his elbow as he attempted to get his reflexes under control.
Hailey rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Real smooth, Hot Shot."
"Look tonight is not a good night. You know there's that nasty cold going around. My head's been feeling fuzzy. There's a chance I'm sick. Probably best you left, just in case." Casey couldn't have been more desperate to get rid of Hailey. Sometimes he's wondered why he hadn't kicked her out of his life yet.
Because April dumped your sorry ass. And rightfully so.
One drunken night with the team led to a wild one night stand. That one night stand led to a weak conviction of morals which led to a few more one night stands. It wasn't supposed to go anywhere. He planned on ending it – honest he was! After seeing April again reminded him what he loved about her. Loneliness was a piss poor reason to screw around with another girl but he couldn't go back and change the past – only move forward. But then April found out because stupid Hailey had to send that one nude pic to remind him what he was missing. She probably was hoping I was with April and that she would see it! Manipulative bitch knew he had a girlfriend. So why was he still seeing Hailey? Simple – loneliness and an easy lay.
Hailey's eyes softened with concern. "Ok, I'll go, so long as you promise to rest and take care of yourself otherwise I will be back to make sure you get well."
Oh God no!
"I promise," he replied warmly before being attacked by another round coughs.
After Casey escorted Hailey out the door, he flopped onto his bed, snapped on his headphones, blasted Metallica, and downed himself in his thoughts.
- Two Days Later –
The last puck dropped to the ice, releasing a loud echoing thud. Casey eyed the line of pucks and then measured his angle with the goal net. He skated back and readied his stance. With a hard push, he skated at top speed. Without a break, snapped his stick and slapped the pucks one after another in rapid succession. After he sent the last one through the air, the puck bounced off the metallic pole with a resounding ding echoing throughout the rink – just like the majority of the other pucks. Only two miraculously found their way into the net. With a furious roar, Casey slapped his stick against the ice a few times before flinging it halfway down the rink. He slumped over with his hands on his knees as he tried to get his breathing back under control.
"Wow! Such unsportsman-like conduct. That's definitely time in the box."
Casey's head snapped up and spun around to catch Johnny staring intently at him.
"Why are you here?" Casey grumbled.
"Better question is why are you here…and why you're not entering the penalty box? Let's go, Jones." Johnny signaled with a beckoning finger.
Casey impatiently rolled his eyes, earning him a stern growl from his captain.
"I ain't bullshitting, Jones. Penalty box, now!"
This sudden change in tone caught Casey off guard causing his eyes to widen in confusion.
"What's the deal, Johnny? I'm just practicing. You're not even supposed to be here. This was a solo session."
"You never lost composure like that before, Casey. Now, you're gonna get over here and tell me what's going on, or I'll tell coach you can't play the next game."
Casey's fists tightened as his eyebrows angrily furrowed. "You can't do that!"
"I'm captain and you're not. I won't lose a big game against a rival school on account that you can't think straight and focus on the puck. You're normally like Tinkerbell on ice skates with a hockey stick instead of a magic wand. And I've never seen you miss an unguarded net. Your magic touch is obviously M.I.A. You don't deserve to play right now. So we can either talk or your ass can warm the bench. Take your pick."
A defeated sigh escaped Casey's lips. He was left with no other choice. Without bothering to retrieve his stick, Casey skated toward the penalty box and took his seat like instructed.
"So?" Johnny prodded.
Casey slid his gloves off and rubbed his face as he gathered his thoughts.
"Just lots of personal stuff going on…"
"Like what? You and Hailey broke up? Honestly didn't think you were so attached to her that you'd break down like this."
"No, it's not like that and we didn't break up."
"Family stuff?"
"Something like that…"
"Everything okay with your dad and sister?"
"Yeah," Casey pinched his nose. Is Johnny really going to play a guessing game with him? "It's complicated, Johnny, okay?! Look man, I really don't think it's your business. Just butt out?!"
"No," Johnny remained unfazed by Casey's tantrum. "Look, Casey, I have a kid who likes to meltdown in the middle of the store if I don't buy every fucking thing he sees, and every pair of eyes just turn and watch the scene, judging my parenting skills, probably assuming I'm the worst dad in the world because I refuse to let him eat all the artificial, chemically, preservative filled, brightly colored cereal. And I don't give shit about their judgment or my son's temper. You better bet I can put up with your juvenile whining till hell freezes over. So now you decide how long we will be here."
Casey was stunned silent. After knowing Johnny for a full semester and practicing with him, he never learned he was a father.
"You're a dad?"
Johnny raised a curious eyebrow. "Yeah, and?...oh…"
The two young men silently stared at each other as Johnny's mind raced to process Casey's fixation on that one small detail.
"Casey?…Is Hailey pregnant?"
Deep brown eyes widened and then he tipped his head to the side in confusion. "N-no…why would you be asking…oh, that's right, I never mentioned about April…"
"April? Who's April?!"
"My girlfriend….well ex-girlfriend…back in New York."
"Hold on! You had a girlfriend back home?"
Casey groaned, knowing he will need to provide a back story. "Long story short – we started dating in high school but we broke up over winter break…because she found out about Hailey…."
Johnny pinched the bridge of his nose as he pieced together the puzzle.
"Wow…I mean, wow! Never knew you were such a selfish jackass, Jones."
Dumbfounded, Casey wasn't sure if he should be pissed off and yell back at the insult or mope and just take the pain of the hard honest truth. Casey settled on lowering his eyes in shame and bottled up the impending hissy fit with arms crossed firmly on his chest.
"So what are you gonna do?"
Casey responded with a heavy sigh. "That's what I've been wondering for the last two days."
"Why is it so hard for you to decide, Casey? Not ready to give up the party life? To be anchored down by responsibilities?"
"It's more complicated than that…"
"Because of hockey?" Johnny cut him off.
Casey could only blink at the seemingly psychic link Johnny had established with him.
"Sort of. I'm not trying to be selfish. I have no problems with saying 'yeah I fucked up and need to man up,' but I need to be able provide for the baby too. I can't afford college without the scholarship. I need to stay here and play hockey to keep my scholarship, which takes me away from April and the baby. Or I can move back to New York, give up the scholarship and not afford a better life for my kid…either way the baby gets screwed in the deal…"
Johnny pat Casey's back and offered his shoulder a sympathetic squeeze.
"Johnny, how are you doing it? Raising a kid and going to school?"
With downcast eyes, Johnny mumbled out the sacrifice of his loved one. "My mom moved up here to help me out. She stays home to babysit and then goes to work when I'm home. Kind of like a tag team effort."
"What about your girlfriend…?"
Casey was cut off by Johnny's venomous snort.
"That's the ironic part, Casey. I originally suggested an abortion. We were too young to be parents. She said she couldn't do it. It was a moral thing for her or whatever. Religious principles she was raised with. I was just gonna play hockey and finish school and move on while she was stuck with the baby. Then she texted a pic after Danny was born. I never saw anything so angelic in my life. Then I visited him and then started to help to support him. The next thing I knew she said she couldn't do it anymore, that she couldn't be a mom. She was too young and had too much to accomplish…and then she was gone and I was left with a baby to raise on my own. I don't regret, really. I love my son. I'd do anything for him. Definitely didn't seeing my life turning out this way, and I knew I couldn't do it on my own."
Johnny smiled warmly as he thought about his toddler, who was waiting to see him return home. He then turned his gaze to Casey.
"Look, man, I ain't gonna tell you what's the right thing to do. What's right for me maybe isn't right for you. All you can do is choose your path and discover the journey on your own. Good luck." Johnny offered one more pat before leaving Casey alone in his thoughts.
. . .
Throughout the ride home, Casey replayed his conversation with Johnny – the choices his friend had to make and the consequences of what was forced onto him. Casey replayed his choices – stay and play hockey and go pro or give it all up and move back to the city and be a responsible father. Was it possible to be a responsible father and still play hockey? Or was that too Utopian of a dream to make true? With a loud groan, Casey dropped his head hard against the keyboard.
"Ow!" he muttered but didn't move a muscle until he was alerted by the sound of an incoming message.
Casey whipped his head up to see a message screen. The first row contained indecipherable gibberish next to his name – probably the result of him hitting his head – though it seemed he erroneously sent the message to someone. The next line down said a simple "hello?" Casey stared blankly until the next message "Casey?" popped up next to the name "April."
April?!
His heart stopped – or at least it felt that way. The heart didn't literally stop in these situations, did it? Casey definitely felt the dry lump stuck in his throat and felt the fresh beads of sweat break onto his forehead. If this was divine intervention to force Casey to finally talk to April, then God was a cruel manipulator. Though it had been two days…there was only so long he could avoid the situation. Casey's eyes shifted to the video chat icon. Was this one of those conversations that was best to have a real talk or could he get away with just chatting? Casey bit his lip has he deliberated. His fingers however were working faster than his brain; his hand reached for the mouse and the cursor hovered over the video icon and clicked. It didn't take April long to accept the chat request, infiltrating Casey's screen with the face of an exhausted blue-eyed, red-head. Dark bags hung under her eyes and she appeared more pale than normal, yet somehow she was still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. The two wordlessly stared at one another; neither of them was sure who should start. Mustering up all his courage, Casey finally decided to break the silence.
"Hey, April…"
