If I lose mine honour, I lose myself –Anthony and Cleopatra

Chapter 4:

The rundown from the day before felt so surreal. I had a job, and it was from the Malfoy's. Strange. I had came home afterwards and said no luck with finding a job, I knew it was lie and I hated lying to my extended family, but I knew how they would react.

Yelling, telling me I could do better, saying I deserved better, which I probably did, and worst of all they'd have some cruel comments about Draco Malfoy, which no one deserves to have cruel comments made about them. So, I lied.

I ate my dinner and listened to everyone's day, helped clean up, cuddled with Ron before I feel asleep. The next morning I woke up bright and early to get ready to go back to the manor. I told Ron I'd see him this evening that I was on the hunt again. Lies.

I apparated to the manor like Mrs. Malfoy told me to do, so it wasn't obvious who the new caregiver was I assume. I was in the tea room where I was interviewed yesterday, except this time I was alone. Or, I thought I was.

There were small footsteps and I turned around to see a small house elf. Of course they still had house elves.

"Miss Granger?" The small creature said to me and reached out to take my hand. This is it. She's taking me to Draco. I thought as I reached and took her small hand. She guided me carefully through the manor, and on the first floor took me to another small sitting room that had tons of books on the millions of shelves that were in there. This wasn't sitting room I realized, but a small private library. How wonderful.

The tiny house elf pointed to one door on the wall, "That is Master Draco's room." she then pointed to another room, "There's a spare bathroom, there's one in Master Draco's room for him, and that door," she spun around and pointed at a third door that was across the room directly across from 'Master Draco's' room "is a spare bedroom, but no one is ever there."

"And I'm Sean." A person said stepping into the small library. I turned and looked at him, he was taller than me, lanky and had dark curly hair.

"Hi, Sean, I'm Hermione." We shook hands.

"And this is Dinty. Their house elf." He pointed out, the elf got embarrassed and her ears went down and she looked at the ground.

"You're the new caregiver?" Sean asked. I nodded my head and he continued, "Very nice, hopefully you'll stay around longer than most. Anyway, Dinty you're dismissed." The house elf smiled at him, snapped and disappeared. "She's actually a freed elf, so who knows when she'll be back. But she's a sweetheart. Very caring, just not careful. Which is why there's a nurse," he gestured to himself, "and a caregiver."

I nodded again. Interesting. A free house elf working there. I wondered if she was paid.

"So, shall we go in and see how Mr. Malfoy is this morning? I'll show you the ropes of what to do if something happens and I'm not here."

Suddenly I wanted to run away. I wasn't ready to face Malfoy. I hadn't seen him face to face since the war. Sure, I'd gone to one game but he didn't see me therefore that didn't count. I swallowed hard. I really didn't want this job anymore.

What if he was cold? Mean to me? What if he didn't want me to be his caregiver and he dismisses me and I'm back on the job hunt? Well, I mean I wouldn't have to tell the Weasleys that I lost yet another job, and then they'd never know.

Sean, walked up to the door that Dinty had pointed out to be Draco's. I lost all feeling. Gently he pushed it open and poked his head into the room. He was whispering and I heard someone answer him back. He then shut the door and stepped back into the room I was in.

I've already been dismissed. I thought to myself.

"So, since I'm the nurse you don't really have to do much medically. And, I am stronger than you so don't have to do a whole bunch of physical things. Sometimes he gets exhausted and you'll have to help move him." He clasped his hands together, "He has full use of his forearms he can actually get himself out of bed and into his chair, but he can't dress himself. Don't worry, that's something I do." He winked, but it wasn't flirtatious. "He's getting up right now, so I'll go in and dress him. Then I'll show you the ropes."

He disappears then to help Draco Malfoy change his clothes. In this absence I try to control my anxiety and venture over to the one place I always felt safe. The bookshelves. I skimmed over some of the titles, some of the books I knew, some were far too old to even have the title on the spine, and some I would notice anywhere. The bookstore I had worked at sometimes have special edition of books and they can only be purchased in the bookstore. There were tons of those books here.

Interesting, I never saw any of the Malfoys go into the store, I knew I would've remembered that. No one forgets the Malfoys.

The door fully opens and Sean steps back out. He claps his hands again, "Okay, you ready."

I nodded, but I wasn't.

He stepped back into the room and waited for me to follow. The room was dark, or it was until Sean pulled the curtains back. Suddenly the room was alive. It was black and green, typical. It was neat and clean, minus the messed up blankets where'd someone had obviously just been. I skimmed the room, there was hardly anything personal in it, minus some newspaper clippings that were framed and on the wall above what looked like trophies, but I didn't stare at them long enough to know what they were for.

My eyes caught sight of a silhouette of someone looking out the window. Draco Malfoy. He sat in a chair and stared out the window. He didn't even look around to see who else had just walked into the room.

"This way." Sean said and motioned to a door that was opened and led to the bathroom. It was a solid black tile bathroom, it should've felt cold but it was honestly just very modern. When Sean entered he shut the door behind him, which creeped me out until I saw he had to shut the door to fully open the cabinet. When he opened it tons of potion bottles were exposed.

He picked one up at a time and told me what they were for, most were for pain. Bladder pain, head pain, leg pain, stomach pain, chest pain, when he couldn't sleep, when he wouldn't eat, and one was when he was in pain everywhere, Sean had only used that once and he said Draco had been crying he hurt so badly, even though he never cried.

When he finished he looked at me, "Draco always has good days or bad days honestly. I've worked for them since the beginning and he's a hard person to tolerate most days. Most of days attitude depends on the weather. On happier warmer days, he seems to be in better spirits, on rainy days he's worse. Honestly, I think rainy days remind him of his accident because it happened during rainy weather. It's a reminder. I'm sure Narcissa told you that magic wouldn't fix it, it's amazing…but it can't fix everything or do what everyone wishes it would. Saying that, Draco doesn't have wand either, there was no point in him having on at the beginning because he couldn't move anything but his hands. He's gotten use to not having one, so he doesn't really care to have one. Although, Draco is one of the most powerful wizards I've ever met, still. Even in his…condition."

Condition.

Sean continued, "He has amazing abilities, he can do wandless magic. However, it drains him incredibly. He only uses it when he wants to be independent and has the energy. Usually though, when he wants to be independent it's after a fit of his and he doesn't have the energy."

After that Sean escorted me back to the library, told me he would check back in in the evening before I left for the day, and if I was already gone he'd see me in the morning.

He wished me luck and then he was on his way to his other patients.

Then, before I knew it, I was utterly alone with Draco Malfoy, with only a door between us. I took a deep breath, suppressing my nerves the very best I could and took a step in the direction of Malfoy's room. I couldn't do this, what if he still hated me because of my blood status?

What if….just what if this was the wrong decision.

Get over it, Hermione. You need this job, otherwise it's off to the ministry.

Oh, how I hated my thoughts and when they tricked me into the things I didn't really want to.

I reached for the door knob, how did I get here so fast?

My body betrayed me, and I turned the door knob and opened the door. He was still looking out the windows, what was the weather like? Partly cloudy I think. What did partly cloudy mean for his mood?

I knocked before I walked in so he would know I was there. He didn't acknowledge me and I had to remind myself he was paralyzed, not deaf when I started to think he didn't hear me.

"Malfoy…" I said in a quiet voice. He still didn't look at me, just out the window. I made my hands hold each other so that they wouldn't wander in my time of nervousness. I repeated myself, but nothing changed.

"Do you need or want anything or how about some music? Music is-"

Suddenly, he looked right at me, his gray eyes were like daggers just waiting to be thrown, and I waited for his tongue to be just as sharp.

"I don't care about your bloody chit-chat, if I need something, I'll holler, got it? Now go do something else, and leave me alone." And then his attention went back to the window. He looked like he never even moved. I looked at him for a few more seconds before I shuffled out of the room and left the door cracked, just in case he needed anything.

I left him alone until lunch time and returned to his room once his food was ready, thankfully the kitchen wasn't far from the library. When I entered his room he hadn't moved from the window, it was in some way irritating to me.

I sat the tray of food down on and walked over to him, "Lunch time." I mumbled.

"Not hungry."

I looked down at my shoes, "You need to eat."

"Not. Hungry." He said a bit sharper than what I had expected. I knew if he wouldn't eat, I'd have to give him one of those potions. I'd rather feed him, than tell him he'd have to take potion.

"Please, Malfoy. It's my first day…I don't want to…I don't want this to start off as-"

"There you go with that bloody chit-chat."

"No, it's not chit-chat. Just…"

"It's chit-chat. Shut up."

I looked down, so this was how it was going to go. He was cold, heartless, and rude.

"It's too early for lunch, Mudblood." He said and continued to stare out the window. No one had called me a mudblood since the war, but I wasn't surprised. I mean, it was carved into my forearm from his precious aunt. "Come back in an hour, I'll be hungry then."

I nodded, even though I was behind him I assumed he sensed it. I grabbed the food to heat up later and bring back, and gently shut the door all the way and I knew he wouldn't ask anything of me.

Partly cloudy days weren't good days.

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review! I am thrilled with the responses I got in the last chapter! Thank you guys so much!

See you next chapter!

I thought I put this in the Chapter one, but I guess I got too excited to start writing I forgot (oops) and a review reminded me!

This is loosely based on Me Before You (which is one of the greatest saddest books I have ever read). But it's loosely based on it! So, if you've read it just know it may be the same or it may not!