BONUS CHAPTER!
Okay, so this got a little away from me. It's not the light little chapter I intended it to be, but as usual, the story goes where it wants to go (its a lot like Veronica in that way). It's less funny than the rest of them, a little more heavy on the feels, but I hope you guys like it...
Leave me some love!
I like long walks, especialy when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Noël Coward
The minute she sees the blonde mop of hair, hanging over the side of the couch, she turns back around. She is not in the mood for Dick tonight, not after the day she's had. But, it's too late, because even though she weighs about as much as a baby bird, somehow the head of Richard Casablancas Jr. is turned in her direction. Stupid bat-hearing. She stands there, awkwardly in the hallway of Logan's condo, not really sure what to do now. She's promised Logan she'd at least make an effort to act civil towards his best friend, but she's finding it increasingly difficult the longer she is subjected to him. Dick in brief and far between portions is already a struggle for her self-control, and that's with Logan as a buffer. Now, with Logan out on a training drill until at least 1 AM, her self-control is practically non-existent.
"'Ronica," Dick says, while getting up from the sofa. At least he's wearing clothes this time. It's such a bitch to get a couch disinfected. "Dick." She replies curtly. "What are you doing here? Logan's out on a night-drill. He won't be back until after midnight." She glances at the clock behind Dick, 8 PM. "Which is not for another 5 hours, at the very least." She takes a small step to the side, a clear invitation for him to head out. Dick, always one to miss the subtle hints, just stands there, his hands in his pockets and his gaze focused on something behind Veronica.
"Actually… I'm not here for him. I was hoping to talk to you." At that statement, Veronica pinches herself. Nope, definitely not asleep. Then she looks out of her window, to see if she can spot a flying pig. Because, there is no way in Hell, Dick Casablancas is here, standing in her boyfriend's condo, asking to talk to her. Voluntarily. She blinks a few times, not really knowing what to say. "You, uh… want to take a walk, with me?" he asks, his eyes still landing on every surface of the apartment, except on her. Veronica tilts her head to the side, still not sure how to respond to this strange and out-of-character request made by the blonde jackass. She decides to stay true to her nature, and replies with snark. "Sure… I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." But she says is without actual malice in her voice. Truth be told, she's kind of shaken by Dick's request. His lips quirk upwards and she understands he didn't really take offence, even though he knows he's the most annoying of them all, to her.
They each stay rooted to the spot for a moment longer, before Veronica's curiosity tips the scales. "Fine, let's go take a walk. But I'm bringing Mr. Sparky, just in case." She picks up her bag, which she'd dropped by the door on her way in, and opens the door.
They walk silently for a few minutes. An unconscious decision taking them in the direction of the beach. You can take the girl out of SoCal, but you can't take SoCal out of the girl. Finally, the silence becomes too much for her. "So… you wanted to talk?" she looks up at him. "Talk." Dick swallows a few times, and Veronica can almost hear the cartwheels in his head turning.
"You know I once tried to kiss Mac, right there on this beach?" he asks her, sounding almost embarrassed by the confession. "Yeah, Mac told me a little about that. She said you were drunk off your ass, which is not really all that surprising." Dick lets out a grim chuckle and nods. "Of course she did." He pauses for a minute, again trying to find the best way to start this conversation.
"Turns out, that when you go see a shrink for depression, and he prescribes mary-jane, he also expects you to talk about shit. " He kicks up a rock, lying on the sand. "And anyway, during these conversations, he came to this genius conclusion that I'm projecting my anger and stuff onto others."
Projection, I know a little something about that myself. It's been Veronica's go-to-tactic for most of her teen years. At least the ones after Lilly. Back then, she used to label events as before Lilly or after Lilly. Now, being older and slightly more mentally stable, she knows that that also was a coping mechanism.
"So.. he suggested I take some time to talk to the people who I think I'm mad at the most, and figure out who the ones are that I'm actually angry with, and what I'm angry about." Another spray of sand hits her legs, as Dick kicks the rock another few feet ahead. "I've talked to my mom already. It took me 3 tries, but I finally got her to actually remember our meeting. I figured out why I'm mad at her pretty quickly. I think the fancy term is 'abandonment', but I just call it 'not-giving-a-fuck-about-your-kids'."
Again, Veronica can relate. It seems like there really aren't any decent moms in the whole frikking town of Neptune. "Yeah, I know the feeling." Is her reply. It feels a little weird, commiserating with Dick over bad mothers, but then again, weirder things have happened in Neptune. "So, I'm next on your list?" she asks him, feeling a little out-of-sorts with this new, almost profound Dick.
"Yeah. I mean, there's still my dad, but visitations in jail aren't so easy, especially when you have a criminal record. There's a few hoops I have to jump through to get to him." He suddenly stops, and points to a huge, flat rock sticking out of the sand. "Let's sit."
Veronica follows him to the rock and sits down, drawing her knees up to her chest. "Go ahead. I'm all ears." She spurs him on.
"So… I've been mad at you for so long now, it's really hard for me to think back to the moment it really started." Time and the copious amounts of weed you've been smoking since you were like, 12. "I never really thought much about you, you know, back when Lilly was still alive. Next to her, you… well you were sometimes more like a non-present, you know what I mean. Like you were there, but if you weren't, I didn't really notice. But after Lilly died… you turned against us, or maybe we turned against you first I don't know. I understand now though, you sticking with family. That's important." He shrugs a little, as if he's gearing up for a long monologue, which he probably is.
"After that, I just fell in line with Logan. And I guess we were pretty bad influences for each other. It didn't matter back then though, we were young, rich and hot and the world was at our feet. And then you came back in the picture. Suddenly Logan drops me for the girl we've been tormenting for the past year. And I hated you for that. For stealing my best friend. It's stupid, I know, but it was the way it was. And then when you ended, I hated you for breaking his heart." He stops a second to take a deep breath.
"Then.. the whole thing with Bea-Cassidy. I hated you for not stopping him when he jumped. I hated you for not shooting him after you found out what he did with the bus. I hated you for being on that roof, instead of me. And I hate myself for not being there, for not stopping him. For acting towards him the way I did."
Veronica didn't know what to say. It had been a long time since she thought about that day at the Grand. A long time since she allowed herself to think about it. And she'd never imagined Dick would be the one to make her talk about it again.
"And now? Do you still hate me for that?" she asks tentatively. He shakes his head, "No. It wasn't your fault that my brother killed a bus full of kids and a plane full of people. It wasn't your fault he jumped. It was his own. And Woody Goodman's. And my dad's….and mine." A stray tear starts to make its way down his cheek, and Veronica thinks it's the first time she's actually seen Dick genuinely upset.
"So, I hate Cassidy for what he did. And I hate Woody and my dad, and myself for the way we treated him. That's where the projecting comes in I guess."
Veronica studies Dick for a moment, before replying. "Sometimes I wish I hadn't investigated." She turns her gaze over the ocean, trying to draw strength from its depths. "I wish I hadn't gotten mixed up in the whole thing. But that's just not me. And I did it for Meg, mostly. Or actually, because I felt guilty about what I did to Meg, with Duncan and all. I thought that if I found out who did it, it would fix everything." She shakes her head. Silly Veronica. "It didn't. All it gave me was nightmares."
Dick nods. "Yeah. Me, too."
They stay silent for an eternity, or maybe just 5 minutes, Veronica isn't really sure. But Dick breaks the silence. "Veronica… I just want you to know, I'm sorry. About all of it." He tells her, and by god, she can hear the sincerity in his voice.
Veronica thinks back to all the things he did to her over the years. The tormenting, the GHB, prodding Cassidy, acting like a grade A jackass. And then she thinks about what he's been through. Abandoned by his mother, belittled by his father, talked down to like he's an idiot (which granted, he kind of is, but he most certainly isn't dumb). Having a mass murderer for a brother, a white-collar criminal for a father and a careless mother isn't a healthy way to grow up, in any scenario.
So, when she finally answers, it's from the bottom of her soul, and she means every word of it. "Yeah. Me, too."
