You've heard of The Butterfly Effect, right? That if a butterfly flaps its wings at just the right time in just the right place; it can cause a hurricane thousands of miles away. It's chaos theory. But, see, chaos theory isn't exactly about chaos. It's about how a tiny change in a big system can affect everything. Chaos theory. Sounds dramatic, but it's not. Ask a mathematician. Better yet, ask someone who's been in a hurricane.
One text message. That was the tiny change that affected everything. I still remember exactly what that text said till this very day. How could I ever forget it? Those words changed my life forever. I bet you're dying to know what that text said, right? Well if you're Mona Vanderwaal, then you already know… because you're the one who sent it to me. If you're not Mona Vanderwaal, I'll tell you what it said anyway: "Be careful, Hanna. I hear prison food makes you fat. –A".
I'm sure you all know about the infamous "A", aka my best friend Mona, by now. If you don't, let me refresh your memory. "A" is an anonymous psychopath/stalker that sends threatening messages to and blackmails me, Spencer Hastings, Emily Fields, Aria Montgomery and Alison DiLaurentis. And how appropriate is it that her tape is on the A side of the cassette?
Anyway, if I were to tell you everything that Mona did to me and my friends as "A", I would probably need another 13 cassette tapes. So I'll just tell you some of the big ones she did to me: She almost brought back my eating disorder, she ran me over with a car and probably the worst of them all; she betrayed me.
You might be thinking: "what the hell did you do that was so bad it made your best friend want to stalk and torture you?" That's exactly what I asked myself when I found out that Mona was A. You see, Mona and I were friends in eighth grade. Eventually, however, I became a part of Alison DiLaurentis's (don't worry Ali; you'll get a tape of your own) clique and Mona was subjected to her bullying. Deep down inside, Mona never forgot the way Alison had previously treated her; as an outsider and a dork. She was nicknamed "Loser Mona" by Alison.
Mona is a very self-conscious person. Due to the bullying and rejection she faced when Alison was around, Mona developed a complex in which she was not happy with her life. Although she doesn't show this side of her in public, this is why Mona felt such a need to remain popular, beautiful, and best friends with me.
This is also why she started tormenting me, Spencer, Emily and Aria as "A", because she was afraid that that the girls would steal me from her again, her only friend. She and I became best friends again when Ali's clique was disbanded. Mona figured that I would not give up the chance to become popular. Our friendship stayed strong until "A" began torturing us, forcing me to become closer to my old friends. This is the very reason Mona became "A"; she was angry at my friends for taking me away from her.
Wait, I'm not done. Mona being "A" is not the only reason why she contributes to my death. There's more. I forgot to mention that after Ali went missing, Mona decided that we should get makeovers and that's how we became popular. I lost weight, Mona ditched the glasses and the pigtails and we both upgraded our wardrobes. Mona, you might have had good intentions but you essentially turned me into Alison.
And when Alison came back into the picture, I didn't know who the hell I was. I was tired of everyone confusing me for Ali so I decided it was time for another makeover; I cut and dyed my hair and I changed my wardrobe once again. I was having an identity crisis and the only thing that got me through it was alcohol. And here is where The Snowball Effect comes back in. Although drinking got me through some situations, it also got me into other ones. But I'll save that for another tape.
And for those of you wondering if I ever forgave Mona, I did. I'm not usually one to hold a grudge and once I understood why she did what she did, I actually felt bad for her. I don't know, maybe I was just stupid. I knew things were never going to be the same between us, obviously, but hey, at least we weren't total enemies anymore.
This is the end of tape 2, side A. Flip the cassette over to find out if you're reason number 4.
