Summary:

The act of talking to oneself

or

the one where Caboose texts Church a lot.

(Originally written May 30th 2014)


Everyone thinks that Caboose is just texting to empty air, that the messages aren't actually going to anyone, but Wash indulges his habit, nodding and saying 'Sure, Caboose' when Caboose asks if he thinks Church would like a picture of Freckles or would like to know what he had for breakfast.

Tucker would just scoff at first, saying things like, 'He won't answer, idiot. He's not really there!' And Caboose would shake his head saying, 'Nuh, uh. His name is there and everything!'

But Tucker would keep saying it and one day when Caboose was talking everyone's ear off, Tucker made the mistake of saying, "Sure, Caboose, you're texting Church. And you know why he doesn't text back? Because he's sick of your fucking mouth!" That was the day Wash coined the phrase "Caboose is having one of his...off days." It was also the start of Tucker doing leg day, twice a day, for a week.

Tucker had to apologize ('And sound like you mean it, Tucker!'), so Tucker had slid down the wall that Caboose was huddled in the corner of, sighing and thunking the back of his helmet a few times in the hopes that an apology would magically fall out of it. When it didn't, he turned his head towards Caboose, saying with as much sincerity he could muster, "Look, I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean what I said. I'm sure Church is just busy."

When Caboose didn't respond, Tucker sighed again, turning his body to face the private. "Want to take a selfie to send to Church?"

And that's how Tucker ended up with bows in his hair after being dragged to go see Donut so they would look "really extra super nice" for their picture to Church.

What they didn't know was that Church got every single one of Caboose's texts, he just couldn't respond to them. When Carolina had asked what he was laughing at, Church quickly denied laughing, saying that the ex-freelancer was hearing things, before saving the picture to a file labeled "Caboose".