A/N: So… I started a new story and got so caught up in it that I put off and totally forgot about publishing this one, which I basically had already finished writing. Ugh, oh well.

I had some difficulty piecing together this chapter, considering it's all in my head already and due to writers block I couldn't figure out how to put it together in words…

But, here you go & I hope you enjoy. Lots of love x


Chapter 4: Craving the Impossible


Looking in the mirror, she saw a monster. Her eyes were dark, black, her hair the same. Her eyes drifted to her body, her neck was cut off with a choker, her chest was slightly exposed, a satin maroon blouse fell off her shoulders, her waist at it's thinnest with a lung breaking black corset. She didn't care much about the outfit, she looked at her arms, scarred and fragile, thinner than what she used to be. Her arms evident of past torture, begging to be healed fully. She longed for a stele, she longed for a pen and paper, she longed to be free, and she longed for love.

Sebastian didn't love her, he couldn't love her, he craved her. A monster cannot love, then again why did she long for the feeling? She's dark; she will never love ever again.

Fight it. Fight for freedom, Clary. He will never win—

Her eyes pushed away from the mirror almost forcefully, she felt her and Sebastian's connection become stronger. The voice inside her head getting weaker.


Jace had to get out of there; he couldn't let the sadness overpower him. Not anymore. He didn't realize where he was going until he almost collided with an elderly man, after apologizing he stopped and took a deep breath. The sky was grey, everyone was grey, the buildings were dark and as he turned around he saw Sebastian's castle in its obsidian elegance.

Clary. I love you. I said it before and I'll say it again…I will love you until I die, and if there is life after that, I'll love you then. Oh, I pray that you're alive. I pray that you'll come home to me, I'm sorry I couldn't save you and I'm sorry that I didn't fight hard enough. I tried, Clary. I know you're stubborn, By the Angel; you probably fought twice as hard as I ever could. Maybe, if you aren't with this world anymore, then maybe you're in a better place.

He didn't feel the tears drip down his face, he didn't feel anything anymore.


Clary's hand was enveloped in her brother's; she watched his grace as he led her down the many flights of stairs that journeyed into the Undergrounds. As she stepped off the last step, her eyes met a large metal door. Behind the door, she heard a rumble of voices and machines.

Sebastian's right hand picked up a ring holding tens of keys from his black coat's pocket; his left index finger filed through the keys and met a silver one. Then, he picked up the lock that hung from the door handle, without hesitation the key clicked in and with Sebastian's lead, it spun and unlocked the door.

It swung open, a gush of warm air met Clary's face, pushing back her long hair.


Sebastian gestured for Clary to enter first; she obeyed and stepped into the loud room.

The first thing she noticed was the workers, they weren't quite…human. Lycanthropes. Slaves. Sebastian's slaves. Her heart begged to spike in sympathy, but nothing happened. These were her men also, she had control of them, she didn't feel sorry for them, she couldn't feel sorry for them. The metal door slammed shut behind her, causing the hairs to stand up at the back of her neck once Sebastian stood next to her.

Clary couldn't help herself but to stare at the slaves' faces, her eyes stopped once they met a girl, fresh blood striping the back of her thin crème blouse. Then, she noticed everyone else had stained backs, and the men who didn't wear t-shirts had white scars in the same place. She knew the Endarkened had a love for punishment towards slaves, but she only thought that was psychological punishment, turning people in to one of them, not physical abuse.

Her eyes went back to the girl's, she saw the pain, the anger in the way she pulled the chains, running a machine that Clary supposed was for making Endarkened armor. The girl's eyes went to Clary's, they widened for a moment before being forced back into labor by a Soldier. She recognized the lycanthrope girl somehow, maybe she just reminded her of Maia, the tan skin, the similar body shape, they way her eyes beckoned to not show emotion. Clary was then brought out of her daze by her brother, gesturing to look at some of the machines.


Leila pulled the chains with all her force, a brief moment ago she heard the large door at the front of the room open and close, she tried not to look. Every time she brought her attention away from the machine, she was flogged. But, she heard the Soldier say something to another slave,

'Straighten up, boy. Your majesties are here, wouldn't want you to set off the wrong impression, ending up in the tunnels, now would we?'

Magesties. Plural. Sebastian and—Clarissa Morgenstern? She's alive?

She had to look, Leila couldn't resist. Her eyes turned to the door, after looking at Sebastian for a moment, her eyes met the companion. The woman wore a red gown, looking like it came from London in the Victorian Age, her waist was tugged tight with a corset, Leila noted that the companion did not have the red hair, nor did she have the Fairchild green eyes that Clarissa Morgenstern was supposed to have. Leila never saw Clarissa in person, she didn't know her well enough to call her Clary either, but she was certain that this was not the girl who fought for the Shadow world. Leila noticed that the girl's skin were free of any marks, or any sign of Downworlder upon her complexion, the only thing she noticed was the scarring along her collar bone and wrists, other than that she was so…pure. She watched Sebastian's companion look away.

Then, Leila was shouted at, she didn't listen to what the Soldier said; she only just pulled the chains and felt her blood run down her back with every pull.


Jace didn't know how long he spent roaming the streets of Edom, his mind was elsewhere. He ended up in the same spot he began with, in front of the castle, near the Lycanthrope entrance tunnel to the underground. He watched as men and women exited the tunnel, depressed faces and dirty, bloody clothing in their hands. He knew a couple of the slaves, most of them from Bat's pack. He was about to turn away when he noticed one of the familiar faces running up to him, Leila.

"Jace, I need to speak to you, and everyone—" She continued running, taking Jace's hand heading towards his residential quarters.


"5," Magnus opened his eyes lightly, gazing into the blue of Alec Lightwood's.

"5?" Alec jumped slightly at Magnus' sudden urge to speak, he hadn't spoken as clearly for a week.

"4,"

"What?"

"3," Subsequently, Magnus lifted his head off the pillow, Alec started at his shoulders for aid.

"Magnus, what are you—"

"2—"

"Magnus—"

"1."

It was at that moment that in the other room, Leila Haryana and Alec's adopted brother stormed into the house.


"Leila?" Bat stood abruptly from the dining table.

"I really do not know how to say this, I don't think it's the right time, actually—"

"Leila, what is it?" Maia stood next to bat, her arms folded neatly across her diaphragm.

"I saw something—someone, in the underground." Leila went on in a worried tone, stretching out her scarred hands.

With that being said, everyone now stood, including Magnus who was escorted into the room by Alec.

"Go on." Jace spoke, his heart racing.

Leila left her mouth open, ready to speak. But, she thought again, these are Clarissa's loved ones. Telling them Clarissa isn't Sebastian's companion…would be—heartbreaking in some twisted form.

"Leila, dog got your tongue? I haven't seen you like this—since—since Jordan died." Maia swallowed, she remembered after the death of Jordan, she comforted Maia, gave her clothes, and gave her friendsh ip when she needed it most.

"Sebastian was with a girl," Leila's voice hoarse as a whisper, "Black hair, dark eyes—She's not Clary."


End of Chapter 4


A/N: Ooops, my bad, another cliffhanger :3

That's that! I'm sorry its so short, but I have an extra long chapter coming next, don't worry. As always, I'm going to leave with a question;

Would you lovely people be interested in another Fanfiction I'm currently writing and obsessing over writing? {Hint: It's got to do with Camelot…and magic…and hot Clace…}

Please, please review! I'm so overwhelmed with how active you all are, and how lovely your reviews are!

It makes my day everytime I get the email saying I have a review, it just makes me crave writing more. So basically, the more reviews, the quicker the chapters come.

Lots and lots of love!

-E