Do Not Own Twilight.
"I have it all and I have no choice but to
I'll make everyone pay and you will see
And you can kill yourself now because you're dead in my mind
The boy that you loved is the monster you fear..."
- Marilyn Manson
Previous Chapter...
I was grateful to Jasper, but why did he help me? From what I recalled he usually kept to himself. Our interactions have been few and far between, but each time we have talked I got the feeling there was far more to him than his appearance. He was a strange enigma of a man. His grip on my thighs softened, then he warily eased me to the ground. I stayed behind him, unsure as to what I should say or do. I did not want to antagonize him in any way.
Without thinking, I raised my hand and pressed it to his lower back... a warning growl erupted from him. I snatched my hand away and took a step back...
"Don't."
"Jasper?" My voice came out as a soft whisper.
"Don't, Bella. Don't touch me, and don't try to run."
Chapter 4 - Your Favorite Darkness
Jasper
Deep breath.
'You can't fight me Jasper. Not anymore.'
Deep breath.
'You knew this was coming. The girl, she makes me... curious.'
Stop.
'No.'
I do not know what it wants with her. Months have passed without feeling the dark companion.
She slowly walked around me and sat on the grass by the riverbank. As I watched every careful movement she made, my mind drifted back to the actions taken at the Cullen home. The urge to protect her overwhelmed me in an extreme capacity.
'That's not why I want you to watch her.'
I closed my eyes and concentrated on pushing my demon back into a shadowy slumber. I allowed it to roam free on occasion, but never succumbed to its power as I had today. The enormous strength continued to vibrate through my veins. Remnants of the violence lingered in my limbs; it was marginally satisfying to punish the boy. However, the emotions that emanated from the perverse golden boy were exquisite.
Agony. Pain. Fear.
'Delicious... If you don't mind, I would appreciate it if you stopped forcing your will upon me, child.'
I ignored the request. The adamant refusal to fall back into the abyss of my soul confused me. There had never been a time where I could not control it. Obviously, the curiosity with the human girl tipped the balance in its favor. I brought her to my sanctuary away from the pretender coven... the place that is mine alone...
What the fuck did you think you were accomplishing by coercing me to bring her here?
'Acknowledging me now?'
Answer.
'I told you before, weeks ago when you allowed me to feast, that I was and I am curious... enchanted, if you will.'
With the girl?
'Yes.'
After deliberating for a brief moment, I did not see the harm in conceding.
You may stay. But, do not try and gain control over our body again. It will not go well for you. There is nothing holding me to this existence. I have no qualms with stepping into the Quileute land and letting the wolves take me down.
'You mean letting them try. You and I both know we would not go down without a fight, and it would end in the death of some of the wolves. Or has it been so long that you have forgotten what I am capable of? Respect what I am, child. Do not threaten me again. Let me near the girl and I'll quietly return to the darkest part of your withered soul. I can and will make you disappear if I deem it necessary. It has been far too long since anyone has peaked my curiosity in such a manner.'
Bella turned around to look at me. The half smile did not bring her any comfort. Too many emotions thundered inside of her. I walked over to where she sat and settled in beside her. She stared out toward the river, eyes closed, breathing in the clean air... the setting sun caused her skin to lightly glow.
She opened her eyes and glanced over at me, a sad smile caressed her lips. Her nervousness, pain, confusion and traces of anger tainted the once sweet scent of her innocent emotions. She scoot closer to me, interesting, then rested her head on my shoulder.
"Jasper?"
"Yes?"
"Where are we?"
"A place I often visit when living with the Cullen's becomes too much of a hindrance."
"Oh... Not that I am ungrateful, trust me I'm relieved to be away from that house, but why did you help me escape?"
I had almost forgotten what an inquisitive youngling this human was. "Truthfully, I do not know why I traveled here, of all places. The memory of running with you to my sanctuary is not clear."
She nodded as if she understood, and shortly after a silence fell upon us. The minutes slipped by as we listened to the water and the surrounding nature. I did not bother with the pretenses of breathing. She knew what I was, there was no need to inconvenience myself with falsities.
She shuffled a bit more until there was no room between our sides. Normally such close proximity with another human, let alone her, would have created a yearning to gorge myself on her flesh. Right now, there was only a disturbing craving to comfort her.
"If I ask you something will you be completely honest with me?" She whispered.
"It depends on the question and if it is something that I am willing to be truthful about."
"Fair enough. Before I ask though I just want... I need to thank you for saving me."
I placed my finger under her chin and tilted her head up so I could see her face, her eyes glistened with sadness. "As I said Bella, I will be as honest as I can be. Lying comes natural to my kind, but I will not lie to you. I promise."
She gazed back to the river, taking a slow, deliberate breaths. "What is glamouring?"
Intriguing and observant girl. Though I wonder... "Bella, who told you about glamouring?"
"I heard Alice and Rosalie arguing about Edward doing it... what is it Jasper? Why does it scare me?"
An unwelcome sliver of pity made itself known. She did ask for the truth...
"It is a gift - most of my kind call it a gift. I do not share that sentiment. It is part of what we are. When we are reborn, the thrall or glamour as many of us have named it, is ingrained into us. We can force our will upon our prey; make them feel, think, act, be anything we wish for them to be. We can take away memories, though not completely, and our prey would never know. My kind uses it to subdue their victims, or for their own entertainment. I personally toyed with the so called gift ages ago. The allure eventually died. I stopped enchanting humans a few years before I met Alice."
The faint smell of salt lingered in the breeze. Tears were expected at hearing such an atrocity.
"Did Edward... I mean... I don't know how to ask." Her body trembled as she wept.
"Did he use that gift on you?"
"I think I know the answer, but-"
Should I lie? The girl has been through immense amounts of pain and betrayal at the hands of the golden boy.
'If you lie, I will take over and make sure it is you who becomes swallowed into the void of that wretched soul.'
You are a nuisance.
"Yes Bella, the boy forced you to bend to his will."
"How long?"
"I do not know the exact time. My belief is that it began not long after you pieced together what we were."
She gasped. Deep down she truly believed she loved him. The reality of the coven's lies crushed her. Selfish creatures. I grew weary of reminding them that I learned to live with the entity attached to me and the forever unsatisfied hunger long ago. They thought themselves to be the more humane ones; I was the sadistic villain. It never occurred to them that part of the self loathing I thrust back at them is a result of the monstrosities they feebly attempt to bottle up.
'In the end they served their purpose. I appreciate the situation, because of them the girl has come to us. That refreshing innocence and the trust shining in her eyes... Do not get comfortable. I will be here. Waiting.'
What do you mean?
'You will see. For now satisfy our curiosity and continue speaking to the human.'
As overbearing and taxing as it is to coexist with my dark passenger, there is a slight comfort of familiarity with it. I have survived violent situations, escaped a second death a multitude of times, and continued in this limbo of life due to its interventions.
Living with the Cullen's stifled my true nature. It made them uneasy to see what we really are. It was all bound to end in a complete mind fuck. The perfection they loved so much was nothing short of the greatest lie ever told. I amused them, especially Alice. Repeating high school, however, was becoming insufferable and torturous. I felt the girl lean away from me, wiping her nose on her sweater...
"I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to apologize for. Your free will was stolen from you. As much as I would like to say that you loved the boy of your own volition, I cannot confirm that speculation. Even as an empath, I can't sense your true emotions toward Edward or any of the Cullen's. You have been brainwashed at such a constant rate that it may take a couple of days before your true self returns."
"If it's been going on as long as you say it has, why did you help me today?"
I have been asking myself the same thing since shortly after our arrival. There is something there - with her.
"I could not sit by any longer and watch you be violated. It became more than I could handle. So there is no confusion, you also do intrigue me. Before you assume, as humans tend to do, it is not your blood that I am after. I still do not know if that is a good thing, for either of us."
She seemed to be lost in thought as she spoke, "I think I understand how you feel."
I placed my arm around her and closed the small space she made between us.
'So, she is curious about us.'
Still there?
'Of course. Do not worry. I will leave you in control. But she will get to know me as well. I trust you will make sure of that. Unless if you would like a replay in your mind from the last time you denied me something I truly wanted.'
No, I am very much aware of what can happen. You have never wanted anyone to know you before, not unless if it was for our twisted version entertainment. Why now?
'That is for me to know, and for you to find out when I feel you are ready.'
Cryptic message. Whatever knowledge it has will come to light eventually. We helped her and she is not afraid of us. This will do.
Bella quietly sobbed. I don't think I will ever know how much damage the Cullen boy caused to her mind and her heart.
'Maybe you would like to pay the pubescent boy a visit. We know how to sneak up on our kind. A quick run back, rip him apart - painfully slow, tearing every bone out, one at a time - then light a match and watch him turn into a pile of ashes...'
You've thought about that a lot haven't you?
'It has been a fleeting fantasy we have shared. And have you forgotten - humans need to sleep?''
Shit! She's going to need food and rest. How long were you planning on keeping her?
'Until you give me time with her.'
Very well.
'You seem hesitant Jasper. What do you think I am going to do to the fragile human?'
I snickered out loud. Knowing you, why wouldn't I be worried.
Bella squeezed my hand that rested on her shoulder, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I'm thinking over some things over."
"Me too... why did the other Cullen's refuse to help me? They knew right? Of course they knew, that's why Rosalie and Alice were arguing-"
She stood quickly, almost flailing toward the water. I pulled her closer to me before she could blink. She blushed, and muttered a thank you, and then some sort of realization dawned on her. The fury returned full force.
"Oh my god! Alice! How could she sit back and watch Edward do that to me?"
I held onto her and waited until she ceased her shouting. What I was not ready for was for her sadness to threaten to suffocate me. She needed time to process what has been taken from her, and it needs to be away from that coven. We needed a plan.
'I agree. You scouted a lot of the surrounding states very well. The pathetic Cullen's do not know of this place. Find a room, feed the human and ensure she sleeps. The Seer bitch will receive a vision of any decision you make. You know where to go for assistance. We have not visited our friend in decades.'
I was not going to kidnap Bella. She still had a father at home and her truck was in front of the Cullen's house.
"How could she? Didn't she say we were best friends?"
"They all assumed if Edward were doing anything questionable, she would inform them. I have known Alice a long time; she and Edward share a bond of sorts. It is not on the familial spectrum of emotions. Not yet romantic, but twisted and unnatural. The Cullen's counting on her to tell them was a grave mistake. You may have been her friend, but you have to remember Edward has been in her life for a very long time. She would never betray him. If Alice wants something to come to fruition, she will do what she can to guarantee it happens... Do you even remember who you were before you met that idiot boy?"
She answered softly, "No. I don't. It feels like I should. Like this is all wrong. Some days, when Edward would leave me alone for longer than usual, I found myself wondering what it is about him that I loved. I mean he's perfect of course, beautiful, forever seventeen, graceful, old-fashioned-"
Unfamiliar laughter bubbled up and burst free. "You do realize that you made him sound like a girl. Beautiful? Graceful?"
She giggled and covered her mouth. It was infectious, and her eyes had a light in them that had not been there before.
"You're right."
The humor lazily vanished, and she was off in her own world. I found myself staring at her, memorizing her face, wondering what she was thinking about so hard.
'You have had time enough to tell her that I am here, and yet you have not done so. Let me out willingly.'
Give me a moment.
"Bella, I know this is going to be difficult to understand, but I need you to have an open mind. Do you think you can do that for me?"
She looked up at me, "I think so."
"Inside every one of my kind is a sort of monster, inner demon if you want to call it that. We live with it, every day, sharing the same mind, body, and urges. The Cullen's hid theirs by suppressing it. They pretend that it is not laying within them. They leave theirs unfed and caged. In their mind they are stronger than I am because of how I have coexisted with mine since the beginning of this half life. My darker half is a part of me as I am a part of it.
"I learned you cannot suppress this thing inside of us. It needs to be let out, fed, and it is a part of what we are. When we were outside of their house, when you came out trying to leave, I was not myself. That is why I don't remember much about bringing you here."
She bit her bottom lip. Curiosity rolled off of her in waves.
"Is he here now?"
"Yes."
"What does he want?"
"I don't know. The reasons are not being shared; all I know is that there is a want within to spend time with you."
"Will you still be there too?... I mean is he dangerous? Will you come back?"
"I will still be here. It will not be for long. Yes, it is dangerous and can be terrifying. However, if either of us wanted you dead, your drained, lifeless body would be on the grass and your soul on it's way to the afterlife."
'You are an ungrateful son of a bitch. Why did you tell her all of that?'
So that she knows the facts. The girl has lived with lies and I will not deceive her to lull her into a false comfort. I will not be compared to the golden boy. She can decide for herself.
"I guess it's okay to talk to him. As long as you're still in there too. He can't be too bad right? He did save me from Edward."
There was nothing else to say; I would not fight it. She is right, he helped me save her; for a reason, and he has not dominated me in order to get to her.
"Alright, Bella. Please, step back."
She placed distance between us, and sat closer to the riverbank.
Alright, are you ready?
'I have been for months.'
I closed my eyes and concentrated. I can feel the familiar sharp sensation in my mind. My skin ripples slightly... his presence becomes stronger...
Song verse from: Man That You Fear
Artist: Marilyn Manson
Album: Antichrist Superstar
Side Note:
Next chapter is almost ready. Will be up in a couple of days. Pre-reader abandoned me. :(
Thank you for reading.
Also, this story can be found on happyeverafterproject as well, with my same penname. I have the Forsaken banners on there. One that I made, and one that my wonderful friend LilyAurora created.
