A/N: New update! I've had some amazing reviews and PMs, and they've resulted in ideas and stuff for future chapters! Thank you all so, so much, I always feel so unbelievably happy whenever you guys take the time to leave me a review! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and I hope I'm not rushing it or anything. Please let me know what you think!
Maura glanced at the clock in her office. Five more minutes. It was eleven fifty-five, and the honey-blonde doctor had arrangements to spend her lunch break with one Jane Rizzoli. They had really hit it off at the award ceremony two weeks ago, and had since decided to stay in contact. It had started with agreeing to meet up for a cup of coffee on Sunday morning. The encounter still brought a smile to Maura's face as she recalled it.
Maura left her house early in the morning, opting to walk towards their designated meeting spot, a café on Milk Street. She'd put a little more effort into her outfit than she normally would for a simple cup of coffee. But in the time between Friday night and Sunday morning Maura realised that she was drawn to Jane. She was intrigued, fascinated… attracted… to this brave, beautiful being. It was unsettling, how even the thought of Jane could bring forth such a strong feeling in Maura. It was unprecedented, and there was little in the way of science that could diagnose what it was that the doctor was going through. However, by Saturday night, after a day of shopping and puzzling over the emotions she was feeling, she'd come to the conclusion that she was very much attracted to this mysterious lieutenant.
As she made her way through the busy streets of central Boston, she constantly glanced at her watch, making sure she wasn't late. Maura Isles was never late, and she was most certainly not going to be late for this. The thought of seeing Jane again made the honey-blonde smile, and she realised she seemed much chirpier than usual as she nodded or said good morning to passers-by.
At ten twenty-three, she pushed the door of the café open, and the rich aroma of good coffee and fresh toast filled her nose. She was seven minutes early. Deciding that she should probably find a table for them, she turned to look for an empty one… to see Jane smiling and waving at her from a table by the window. The surprise was quickly replaced by a huge beaming smile as the doctor made her way over to where the brunette was sitting.
"Good morning, Jane. You're a little early."
"Morning, Maura." Jane flashed her a cheeky grin. "You should be glad. After having to wake up at five in the morning every day for the last three years, you'd think I'd want to sleep in a little on a Sunday morning."
"Oh," Maura frowned a little, disappointed. "I certainly didn't mean for you to give up your right to a proper rest when I suggested this. I'm sorry."
Jane looked at her incredulously for a moment, before bursting into laughter.
"What? What did I say?" Maura looked about in confusion, unsure of what just happened.
Jane finally calmed down enough to explain. "I was being sarcastic, Maura. I didn't really mean it. I was just joking around."
"Oh! Right!" Maura chuckled a little, embarrassed. "I didn't realise. I wasn't really exposed to much sarcasm growing up, I suppose."
"Yeah, well, when you're growing up with two younger brothers, sarcasm is your best bet for staying sane."
"Oh, you have siblings?"
"Yep. Frankie and Tommy," Jane gestured for one of the waitresses. "Let's order something first before I start telling you about the trouble we got into."
And the morning flew by as Jane regaled her with the many antics in the Rizzoli household. Maura learnt that Jane had been the eldest, and something of a hero to both her younger brothers. They had often joined together to make trouble in the strict Catholic school they had attended as children, making fun of the teachers and pranking other students. Maura laughed just as much at Jane's sheepishness at her wayward ways as she did at the stories Jane had spilled forth.
But when Maura asked about where they were now, the light seemed to leave the brunette's eye. "Tommy's in prison, last I heard. Frankie still over there." Maura didn't have to ask what Jane meant. She let it rest, and tried to turn their attention back to something more light-hearted. After giving a few of her own stories, it worked, and Jane smiled again. Maura liked that smile. She liked it very much.
The next time they'd met up had been another four days later, on Thursday, when they decided to have lunch together. It was to Maura's delight when Jane had called the night before to see if she was busy.
"Hello, Jane. To what do I owe this pleasure?"
A chuckle. "I was just wondering if you were free tomorrow. I thought maybe we could get lunch together, y'know, if you weren't too busy or anything. I mean, you probably have heaps of things to do, but I thought maybe I'd just ask, uh, but y'know, if… if you–"
"Jane, I'd love to go have lunch with you."
"Oh, great! Haha, okay, well then… I… I guess I'll see you tomorrow then. Bye, Maura."
And Jane hung up before Maura could even ask where and when they were going to meet up. Then about ten seconds later, the phone rang again. Smiling, she answered it.
"Right, that was stupid, I didn't even tell you when or where to meet up." Maura could hear the flustered tone of Jane's voice, and had to stifle a giggle. "Um… how's… I know this really nice Italian place." Maura listened to some rustling in the background, and then Jane gave her the address. Jotting it down quickly, she could feel her heart racing. It was just lunch between two acquaintances. So why did she feel so excited and nervous?
When Maura pulled up in front of the quaint little Italian restaurant the next day, she caught sight of a familiar brunette walking down the street towards it. She felt her mouth lifting as she watched the Jane walk towards her with a kind of natural swagger, an easy grace that was so different to the stiff soldier's gait on award night. She was wearing a black leather vest and jeans, and Maura couldn't help noting how good Jane looked in the combination. She exuded confidence. And it was incredibly attractive.
At that moment, Jane seemed to notice her, and a smile spread across her face. Maura's heart fluttered, as she responded with her own smile.
"Jane."
"Hi, Maura."
She could feel the intensity of Jane's gaze on her, those dark eyes so expressive and warm. And she blushed at Jane's next words.
"You look beautiful today."
"Thank you," Maura gave a little shake of her shoulders, smiling. "You look quite dashing yourself." She could feel the increasing heat in her own cheeks at her admission, but was pleased to see the effect it had on the taller woman before her.
As they made their way into the warm interior of the restaurant, the rich aromas of Italian herbs and spice filling the air, Maura glanced at the time. Jane led them over to a table by the window, and pulled a seat out for Maura first before taking a seat herself. The unthinking chivalry of Jane's character had made itself apparent from the moment Maura met her, and it never failed to send a thrill through her.
"I'm sorry, Jane, I don't mean to rush us, but I just wanted to say that I do have an interview for a job this afternoon at four. I hope that's alright with you."
"Oh, of course, Maura. Wow, you should've said, I mean, you didn't have to come have lunch, I understand, I mean this is big…"
Maura hid her smile. Jane seemed to have a tendency to begin rambling whenever she was nervous or wound up. "Jane, I'm delighted to be here with you. Actually… I'm a little nervous. I thought that spending lunch with you might help keep me calm."
"Oh." Jane seemed to relax a little. "Okay. What's the job?"
For the next three hours they chattered, and Maura talked about the job she was going for, as Chief Medical Examiner.
"Why medical examiner? Why not a doctor?"
Maura thought to herself carefully. It was a question she had asked herself many times before, even before her time in the army. Before all the broken bodies and spirits. Before the screams of pain and staring death in the face every day. Maura had never been good with people, never been good with dealing with them, talking to them. And after the horrors she'd witnessed in Afghanistan, she'd had enough. Too many had bled out on her table. Too much was at stake. She couldn't look at a live body on her table without imagining the person waking up, screaming in pain while she still had her hands in their body. When there just wasn't enough anaesthetic to go around, it happened. And she still had nightmares. Of people dying, despite her best efforts, their life's blood pooling out around their body, draining away…
"Because then I can speak for the dead."
Jane looked at her, curious. But Maura didn't want to say what was on her mind. She didn't want to admit that she was still haunted by these demons. Not to someone who had obviously been through so much more. So she picked the easier truth to tell.
"Because I can help people who can no longer help themselves. I can give them a voice, and grant their families peace."
The lieutenant nodded slowly. "I… didn't see it like that. That's… that's pretty damn amazing."
The last time they'd met up was a week and a day after their lunch together. Maura had called Jane again, excited. She'd gotten the job, and the first person she wanted to share the information with was with Jane. She didn't really have anyone else to share the news with… wouldn't have had anyone. But Jane.
"Jane!"
"Hey, Maura. You sound excited!"
"I got the job!"
"You got the job!? Congratulations! When do you start?"
"Thank you. I begin on Monday, but it's mostly an orientation day, getting to know the place and settle into the office and those kind of things."
"Sounds great! I'm really happy for you! Why don't we go out for celebratory drinks or something?"
"Tonight?"
"If you're not busy."
"That sounds like a wonderful idea."
She could hear the grin in Jane's voice. "Good. First round is on me."
They'd wound up at a bar not too far from where Maura would be working. The Boston Police Department was only a few blocks away from The Dirty Robber, the bar they had picked out for their celebratory drinks. Maura noted that Jane's choice of drink was a cold beer, as opposed to her own taste for red wine. The place they were in now was also not Maura's typical choice of a Friday night hangout, but Jane seemed the most comfortable she'd ever been in the dimly lit atmosphere of the bar.
After a few drinks, Jane also loosened up a little, and for the first time, Jane talked about herself a little more. And not just the troublesome antics they got up to, like she had at their first meeting. Maura learnt a little more about her childhood, the helicopter Ma always worrying about the Rizzoli kids and the cool Pop that took them out to the ball games… It painted a beautiful picture of a childhood Maura had never had. And she found herself laughing with each story, as the wine began to cloud her own mind.
Maura smiled. It was a fun night, and for the first time Maura felt like she'd learnt a little more about Jane, as a person. Just a little. She couldn't help noticing that every other encounter always ended up with Jane deflecting whenever she asked a question. Jane was happy to talk about fun stories, but the moment it got a little more personal, Jane always shied away from giving an answer. Like she was hiding something, like she didn't want to get too close and comfortable with anyone.
Glancing at the clock again, Maura realised that it was actually three past twelve now. She was three minutes late. She quickly grabbed her purse and jacket and left her office, making her way for the café across the street from the precinct, where she was going to meet Jane.
With each step she took, the newly appointed medical examiner couldn't help feeling the rising nervousness. She closed her eyes for a moment as she waited for the elevator doors to open again, and allow her to walk into the foyer. As she made her way towards the doors of the BPD, she realised she was actually fidgeting, playing with the purse in her hands, and stopped. It was unlike her to be so jittery, but Maura was about to do something today. She was about to take a step towards something she realised she had wanted since the moment she saw Lieutenant Jane Rizzoli step onto the stage and receive that badge of honour.
She was sure she'd seen some signs that Jane might have an interest in her as well. The sly glances, the lingering looks, the twinkle in those eyes whenever they looked at her… Maura might not have been good at with people, but she had perfected the art of reading people's faces, and deducing their feelings. And she was sure she was wasn't just projecting the dilated pupils, and the movements of the orbicularis oculi, occipitofrontalis and orbicularis oris, which had all hinted at signs of attraction. Or had she misread the signs?
No. She wouldn't talk herself out of this. She wouldn't back herself into a corner again. As she pushed the door to the little café open, she took a deep breath. Preparing herself for what she intended to do.
And there was Jane, sitting at a table towards the back, smiling and waving at her. She felt herself smile back, though her stomach felt like a giant bundle of nerves. But despite her anxiety, she felt a warmth inside her that only Jane could put there. Seeing the lanky woman always brightened Maura's day.
"Hey." As always, Jane stood up and pulled out Maura's seat for her.
"Hello, Jane. How have you been?"
The brunette gave a non-committal shrug; a common answer to Maura's questions. "I'm okay. How are you?" Jane grinned. "How's your first day at work?"
"Oh, it's been quite uneventful so far. I've just been acquainting myself with the labs and the morgue and my office. I moved a few things in this morning, and staff have been showing me around a little, just so I could get a feel of where everything is."
"The morgue." Jane pulled a face, but Maura noticed the little shiver Jane had tried to hide. "Well, sounds like it's going pretty good."
"Pretty well."
"Huh?"
Maura looked down, a little embarrassed at her compulsive need to correct bad grammar. "Oh, nothing, it's just… you should say 'pretty well' instead of 'pretty good'. It's not good English."
She was surprised when she got an easy chuckle in response. People usually tended to look at her strangely, or get annoyed at her. But Jane only smiled, eyes sparkling. "Fine. Pretty well. Better?" Those warm brown eyes told Maura that Jane was teasing her.
"Yes." She caught Jane's playful eye roll at her sniffy response.
They ordered lunch, and spent the next hour just chatting, mostly about Maura and her new job. With another glance at the watch on her wrist, Maura realised she'd have to get back to work soon. The moment was upon her now, and it was now or never.
After they paid for their lunch and left, Jane walked Maura back to the precinct. But at the base of the stairs, Maura stopped and turned towards the brunette. Her heart was racing and she could feel her mouth going dry. She tried to swallow, and took a deep breath, closing her eyes and trying to meditate.
"Jane."
"Hmmm?"
"I… I was wondering…" Maura paused, and the silence stretched between them.
"What? What is it, Maura?" Jane was watching her, curiosity burning in her eyes.
"I…" Maura took another breath, willing herself to be brave enough. She had never been so tongue-tied and inadequate with words before. "I was wondering… i-if you'dliketogoonadatewithme."
The words came out in a jumble, and Jane's blank expression told her she hadn't understood. "Would you like… to… to go on a date… with me?"
"Oh…" The blank expression changed into a closed off one, and Maura felt her heart sink. "I… no… Maura… I-I'm sorry… I… I can't." Maura looked down, trying to swallow her disappointment. "Hey… no… Maura… I'm sure you'd be an amazing person to date, it's just… I-I can't… I'm so sorry. We can… we can still be friends… right?"
Clearing her throat, and finding herself unable to meet those dark eyes, Maura nodded. "Of course…" She glanced at her watch, not because she really needed to know the time as much as she needed an excuse to run, away from here. From Jane. "Oh, I really should go now. Have work…" Her voice trailed off, wavering near the end.
"Oh… yeah… right. Well… it was great seeing you again…"
"Yes… I mean… it was good to see you too… I should go…" And Maura turned and made her way up the stairs as quickly as possible. She gave a wave over her shoulder, but she couldn't look back. She didn't want Jane to see the single tear that had escaped to run down her cheek.
