Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Psych, or any of the Psych characters, or really anything worth mentioning. No copy write infringement intended.
Dedication: This chapter is for Aakira who is a major fan of Shawn Takes A Shot in the Dark. I hope this helps you make a smoothie! Thanks for all you do. My thanks also to Fear the Spork or her help and guidance. A special fist bump to my muse Social Escort. Thanks for reminding me what writing is all about.
Author's Notes: Sorry this chapter has taken so long to write. This particular one is a real labor of love. Thanks for bearing with me and thanks for all the feedback please keep reviewing!
Chapter 4
Juliet took a deep breath as she approached the now abandoned building. The faint smell of motor oil permeated the air as the wind danced over the rusted wrench wind chimes that hung outside. She paused, pressing her hand against the wooden door, and tried to swallow the lump in her throat.
Juliet turned the knob and made her way into the old garage with much trepidation. This place brought back anything but good memories. It was dark and eerie and although she desperately wanted to turn and leave, she reminded herself she was there for a reason. Shawn wanted her there, though she couldn't imagine why.
Why would you bring me here? She wondered, of all the places you could bring me to you take me to this godforsaken place? What were you thinking Shawn?
She fought back the wave of emotion that rose up inside her as she scanned the room for her next clue. Her eyes landed on an old chair in the corner. She made her way over to it, running her hands across the remnants of duck tape that were still clinging to it.
He was sitting here, she thought. He was sitting here bleeding, in pain, scared, and fighting for his life.
She tried to fight back the tears forming in her eyes but when a bloodstain on the top left hand corner of the chair caught her attention, she finally broke down and cried. She was standing there, tears rolling down her cheeks, when a familiar voice broke the silence.
"Juliet, are you ok?" Gus asked. She looked up, happy to see him, but still too emotional to say so. Sensing that she needed a friendly shoulder to cry on, he quickly made his way to her and wrapped her in a comforting hug.
"He could have died Gus," she explained between sobs. "He was sitting here with a bullet inside him, knowing full well that the two psychos that kidnapped him could kill him any second."
"I know, Juliet," Gus said holding her close to him, "But the important thing is that he pulled through."
"Why does he have to be so reckless Gus? Why does he always get himself in these situations? First this, then Yin. Who knows what's next? I can't lose him Gus. I just can't. But one of these days, if he keeps acting like he's invincible, if he continues to put himself in danger, he's not going to be so lucky. How am I supposed to live without him?"
"Believe me Juliet, I know exactly how you feel. I've known Shawn so long that I honestly can't remember a time in my life when I didn'tknow him. I don't even want to think what it would be like if he wasn't there. He's my best friend, and more than that, he's my family. If there's one thing I have learned, it's that no matter how careless and how reckless Shawn is, he somehow always manages to find a way out of every single situation he gets himself into. It used to be that when things got too intense, he would just move on. Since Shawn met you, there's no way he is going anywhere. I have never seen him this happy."
"Look at me. I shouldn't be acting like this. It's not like he's gone for good, he's just away on a case. I guess I never realized how hard it would be to be without him. I miss him so much Gus."
"Me too Juliet. I'm sure he'll be back soon."
Juliet paused for a second to regain her composure. She pulled out of Gus's embrace and looked up at him, "He asked you to come here didn't he?"
Gus nodded, "Shawn knew this would be hard for you. He wanted to make sure you weren't alone. He also wanted me to give you this." She took the envelope he handed her, anxious to see what exactly was going through Shawn's mind when he sent her to this place.
'Jules,
I know you are mad at me for sending you here, but I had to do it. I know you look at this place and you all you see is pain. Believe me, I see that too. Getting shot hurts way worse than you expect and having to talk to crazy Gina twice on the phone was no picnic! I really hope you never have to experience either. The important part is that I am still here Jules and I'm not going anywhere. I know that it scares you to think that one day I might not be so lucky. Truth be told, I worry about you too, Jules. We both have dangerous jobs and neither of us has any intention of quitting, so I guess we just have to trust each other. I promised you a while back that I would protect you, and you promised to protect me right back. Just having you in my life, just knowing that you have my back gives me more strength then you will ever know. I guess what I am saying is that as long as we have each other, the next crazy that rolls into town doesn't stand a chance.
That brings me to the other reason you are here. You see Jules, while I was sitting in this place thinking I may not get out alive, all I could think about is that I'd never get to see you again. That I'd never know what it felt like to kiss you, or hold you in my arms, and most importantly, that I would never get the chance to tell you how I really felt about you. You see Jules, as much as I cared about Abigail, it was nothing compared to what I felt for you. That's why I had to tell you I loved you.'
Juliet paused, remembering that day several years ago, and the phone call she had always tried to forget:
She was at her desk in the station when her phone rang. Shawn's name flashed on the screen and she jumped to answer it.
"Shawn?"
"This call is to say goodbye."
The smile that formed on her face at the first sound of his voice began to fade at the sound of the word "goodbye" and the despair in his voice.
"Shawn are you okay?" she paused long enough to listen to Gus instructing her to try to get a location and asked "Shawn where are you?"
"Don't. Don't ask me any questions 'cause I can't say anything else. If you care about me you will understand." It took every fibre of her being not to scream out exactly how much she did.
"I'm listening," she answered.
"We're not gonna be able to have much of a future anymore, but back at where we were, I'll be there."
"Back? I don't know what that means Shawn. What are you talking about?"
"The wind chimes I got you for your birthday, every time you hear them from now on, that will be me."
Juliet was beyond confused. She had no idea what he was talking about. The detective in her was trying to make sense of the puzzle pieces he was giving her while the rest of her was fighting back tears.
"Ok Shawn, first of all, you are going to be fine. We are going to find you ok? Don't worry."
"Listen, before I go I have to tell you something."
"Of course Shawn, what is it?"
"I need you to know that," a brief silence fell over the line as Juliet waited in anticipation, "I love you."
Juliet could hardly believe that she had heard those words. Words she needed so desperately to hear.
"Shawn I think I might –" she began, wanting to tell him that she loved him too.
"Goodbye Abigail." Those were his last words, and they were enough to break her heart.
Juliet snapped back to reality. She looked down at the note in her hand, not sure what he was trying to tell her.
'I know you wanted to say it back Jules, but I just couldn't let you do it. Not under those circumstances. I know hearing her name hurt you, but it was the only way I could let you know I was giving you clues. I guess what I want you to know is that it was you, Jules. It was you then, it's you now, and it always will be. Please don't ever doubt that.
You know the saying "when life gives you lemons, make a pineapple smoothie." Gus would probably tell you that it's lemonade, but why would you want to drink that when you can have a delicious pineapple smoothie? Besides, I've heard it both ways. So when you look at this place, get rid of the lemons and go get a smoothie. This is not the place where I almost died. It's the place where I finally realized that I loved you.
OK, Serious Shawn is dominating my note again. I don't know why he won't let me get a word in edgewise. God that guy is annoying! I mean, yeah, he's good looking, and has one awesome head of hair, but still! OK, Jules, it's time for your next clue. First, I just want to say you have done an excellent job of working out my clues so far!. Frankly, I'd have to say you've been hitting them out of the ballpark. Maybe we should celebrate with some crab cakes, you know, the kind with dill and coriander, and possibly some endive. Maybe follow them up with a nice, long walk on the boardwalk. Or, we could just skip all that and go to my place.
Why did I leave again?
Have I told you how much I miss you Jules? Because I do, more then you'll ever know. Hang in there. It won't be too much longer. Oh, and give Gus a fist bump for me. I miss him too.
Love you more than pineapple,
Shawn
Juliet smiled as her eyes slowly moved from the letter to Gus who had been standing quietly at the back of the building, giving her some space as she read the note.
"Only Shawn could make you go from tears to a smile in 60 seconds. He has a knack for that," he said smiling.
"That is true," she agreed, adding, "You helped too though. Thanks Gus."
"That's what friends are for, right?" Gus replied, smiling.
"I'm just glad you were here the last couple of months. I don't know what I would have done if you had both gone."
"I hear that. It's just not the same without Shawn around. As much as I enjoy the peace and quiet, it doesn't feel right without him here. Having you around has helped me take my mind off things."
They both paused for a moment. "I guess I should be going to the next stop on my little adventure," Juliet explained feeling a little remorse at having to say goodbye to Gus so quickly. "Movie night tomorrow?" she asked, holding her fist in the air.
"You know that's right!" Gus answered, bumping his fist against hers, and with that, they both walked out the door.
