Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, nor do I own this awesome idea. I don't even own the volumes of Death Note I'm reading. They're from the library. ;.;

-

Congratulations! You are now the owner of a fully-automated MELLO unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your angry young genius, please pay close attention to the following instructions.

Basic Information:

Name: Mihael Keehl, Mello, You With the Girly Hair.

Date of Manufacture: December 13, 1989

Place of manufacture: Shinigami, Inc.; England Division.

Height: 5'6.

Weight: 115lbs

Your MELLO unit will come with the following accessories:

Three Leather Vests

Three Pairs of Leather Pants

Various Pairs of Boots

Three Pairs of Jeans

Two Black Longsleeved Vests

One Rosary

Numerous Bars of Chocolate

One Handgun

-

When you first unpack your MELLO unit, he may point a gun at you. This is normal. Just wait for him to calm down.

-

Programming:

Your MELLO unit will carry out the following functions when he likes you or wishes to be better at one of them than a NEAR unit.

Bodyguard: The MELLO unit has guns, much experience with ninja moves, and a really scary face. He can defend you from whatever you please.

Assassin: The MELLO unit is, as we say, quite deadly. He can take out your enemies quite efficiently.

Crossdresser: If for some perverted reason you wish to have a crossdresser at a party or some such thing, the MELLO unit is an excellent candidate. However, this will result in extreme activation of the Angry unit, and you may not live to see the rest of your party.

Date: The MELLO unit is extremely good-looking and makes an excellent date. However, this is another service he will usually only perform under duress, though perhaps not as severe as the former.

Your MELLO unit comes with five different modes:

Badass (Default)

Angry

Clever

Angsty

Caring

The Badass unit is different from the Angry mode, no matter how similar they may seem. In Badass mode, the MELLO unit may actually be nice to you.

The Angry mode is quite easily activated. When anything irritates the MELLO unit, he will revert to this mode. Try to keep him out of it; he'll yell or shoot when in this mode and occasionally worse.

The Clever mode can be activated whenever the MELLO unit has anything to deduce. He can be quite devious in this mode. Set him on any enemies.

The Angsty mode is activated when the MELLO unit thinks of how inferior he is to the NEAR unit, or the fact that an L LAWLIET or MATT unit is dead.

The Caring mode is only ever shown to the people the MELLO unit is extremely fond of, but he can be quite intense with it, going to extreme lengths to protect them.

-

Relations with other units:

Matt: These units are best friends. It's a good idea to keep them together, since they make a great team, especially in havoc-wreaking.

Near: the NEAR unit is the MELLO unit's rival; any contact between the two will result in severe activation of the 'Anger' mode and usually several shoot-outs.

L Lawliet: MELLO units look up to L LAWLIET units a great deal. They seem them as big-brother figures, usually.

Kiyomi Takada:
This unit kills yours. Keep your MELLO away from any KIYOMI TAKADA units at all costs.

Cleaning:

The MELLO unit is perfectly capable of cleaning himself. Do not try to bathe this unit; it will result in severe and possibly fatal injuries to your person.

-

Energy:

The MELLO unit greatly enjoys chocolate. However, his stomach is not prepared to eat JUST chocolate, so force him to ingest some normal food once in a while.

-

Frequently Asked Questions:

Q: Everytime he gets annoyed or something, a gun goes to my head. Is this really normal or did I get the wrong unit? -Lynx Tiger

A: Nope, that's normal. Once he trusts you a little more, he'll stop doing that. Mostly.

Q: What if I make my MELLO unit dress up like MISA unit? -Shishishishi4444

A: Don't do it. Just don't. Trust us.

Q: Can I replace his chocolate with marshmello, ups I mean marshmallow? -Shishishishi4444

A: You could, but he wouldn't be so happy.

Q: My MELLO unit hasn't eaten chocolate in a whole week. Is that bad? -Sasana-Chan

A: Yes, it's very bad. You'll want to take him in to be examined. He's probably sick.

Q: Are you sure the MELLO unit is not a girl? He sure acts like one and is fond of chocolate... -thexamimi

A: He's male, and never, ever, EVER let him hear you say that.

Q: When I ordered my Mello unit I was expecting a cute blonde boy who loved chocolate, but when it arrived I discovered a boy clad in leather who looked possibly like a male stripper. Should I be concerned? He won't go back into his box either when I tried to make him he held a gun to my head, he raided my pantry for chocolate and is now sitting on my couch eating it next to my Matt unit

A: Ah, yes. That's your MELLO unit, you got the right one.

Q: My MELLO unit suddenly has this enormous mark taking up half his face. Is it just a silly chocolate smear, or did something happen?

A: That's a scar, not a chocolate smear. Your MELLO unit has gotten into an explosion. As bad as that sounds, don't worry, that's pretty normal.

Q: Umm yes my Mello unit won't stop talking about how great the L unit is across the street...what do I do?

A: Just stick it out, he'll quite talking about the other unit soon. Or, you could buy a MATT unit.

Q: Does the MELLO unit come with eyebrows? -Th30v3r0553510n

A: Nope. None of the WAMMY'S units come with eyebrows; this includes the L LAWLIET unit.

Q: What happens if I take away the MELLO unit's chocolate? –Various Usernames

A: Havoc, mayhem, destruction, pain, and death. On both your and his parts.
-

Warranty
With proper care, the MELLO unit should live until the numbers above his head live out, or until a bored Shinigami decides to kill him. However, if you become irritated with having guns pointed at your head, just bribe him out with chocolate.