Chapter 4

Quinn leads the way to her favorite Thai restaurant, Brown Sugar, on Jersey Street. She orders for them since Santana is unfamiliar with Thai food.

So, you really eat don't meat, like at all, Quinn? Santana asks, around chopsticks full of Pad Thai. This is delicious by the way.

Well

See! Ha!

I have one exception. Guess what it is.

Hmm. It has to be something so good that you can't give it up.

Quinn just nods.

Shrimp?

Well, I am pescatarian.

A what? I swear, Quinn. I think you just use these big Ivy League words to impress me.

Quinn laughs at Santana's statement. She winks at her date saying:

That's just not true, Santana. I don't have to try to impress you. I know that I already do. Anyway, pescatarians only eat seafood, in addition to vegetables. So, I eat fish, shrimp, etc., and this one meat item.

So, how often do you eat this?

I limit myself to 1 day every 6 weeks or so.

Any specific day?

Yes.

You are being very mysterious, Miss Quinn Fabray. It's sexy.

Quinn nearly chokes on her Thai iced tea. Santana just wiggles her eyebrows towards the blonde.

Ok. So, you eat this once a month on a specific day. Like for dinner?

No, for breakfast or brunch.

Sausage?

Nope. Morning Star Farms make a great "fake" sausage, she says, complete with air quotes when saying "fake."

That sounds disgusting, Quinn.

It actually tastes pretty good. Seriously, Santana.

I think I'll take a pass at that one. Well, if it's not sausage, it has to be bacon, right? Am I right?

Quinn blushes bright red, feeling her cheeks burn at the admission.

I know, it's kind of ridiculous. But, I just love bacon too much to give it up. So, I'm a pescatarian that eats bacon. So embarrassing.

Quinn has her head ducked down so she doesn't see it. Santana reaches across the multi-colored tablecloth to grasp Quinn's fingers in her own. At the contact, Quinn releases a barely heard gasp, looking up at Santana.

Well, Miss Quinn I happen to think it's down right adorable. I could never be a vegan, vegetarian, or pesca-whatever because I love meat too much, especially bacon. Isn't that a misnomer? A pescatarian who eats bacon? Santana asks Quinn with curious eyes.

How old were you when you stopped eating meat?

I was sixteen. It's because when I was pregnant with Beth, any meat made me sick to my stomach with the exception of bacon. It was one of my pregnant lady cravings, which I couldn't really have since I was living at the baby's father's house. They refused to have any of it at home because they are Jewish. All meat reminds me of my father. My hunting, red meat eating, prejudicial, bigoted, anti-feminist father. I hate my dad. He disowned me after I got pregnant. If he could, he would disown me again for being gay.

Shit, Quinn thought to herself. She doesn't usually bring up Beth until date #3. It scares people off. But, there is something about Santana. Quinn feels like she can talk to her about anything at all. Santana looks back at her sympathetically.

I'm sorry Quinn. I mean, I know that we just met but I don't know how anyone could shut out someone as amazing as you. How any parent could do that to their own , you have a little girl? Santana asks in earnest, reaching over across the table to touch Quinn's hand. Quinn lifts her head up with that simple touch and she meets Santana's sincere eyes.

Quinn reaches into her purse for her wallet, pulling out her favorite picture of her daughter. Beth is finger painting while wearing the frilly, lacy, pink birthday dress Grandma Judy got her. She is blissfully unaware that she has splotches of red and blue paint on her dress and her cheeks. She is looking directly at the camera, with her toothy 3-year old grin. Mercedes took the picture. In the background, Quinn is looking at her with so much love. Beth always gives her a hard time about that picture. She says that she is a big girl now and she is. Quinn can't believe she is in kindergarten already. So, like a proud mama bear, she also pulls out Beth's kindergarten portrait. She hands them both to Santana. She takes the precious photos from her hand and studies them. San looks down then looks up at Quinn with bright eyes.

Quinn, she is so beautiful, just like her mother. She has your eyes.

Santana, my face is probably permanently red with all the blushing I've done for saying that, San. I mean Santana.

No, San is fine. As long as you don't call me Sanny. I hate it. My brother and Jorge call me that. It makes me feel like a 4-year old again.

Well, my mom calls me Lucy. Even though I've gone by Quinn, my middle name, ever since I was a freshman in high school. She is the only one who still calls me Lucy.

How about Lucy Q? Anyone call you that?

No.

Well, that's what I'll call you, if that is okay.

Quinn blushes again, this time at the new nickname Santana has coined. She nods, which earns a laugh from the Latina.

I bet there is a story behind Lucy turning into Quinn, Santana says.

There sure is.

I have an older sister, Frannie who is 6 years older than me. She has always been the pretty one. The one with the movie star good looks. The one all the girls wanted to be and all the boys wanted to date. I, on the other hand, had a slower metabolism, crooked teeth, and acne. I was bullied all throughout middle school. The kids called me "Lucy Caboosey." The summer before I started at McKinley, I started to going to dance and gymnastics classes. I discovered that I was good at it. The braces came off. I used Proactiv against the acne. My father paid for a nose job. I got special permission to attend McKinley, which was on the other side of town. No one from my middle school would be there and no one would know my past. To top is all off, I had a growth spurt. By the end of that summer, I looked in the mirror and I saw the myself always wanted to be. It was the first time my mom said I was beautiful. I asked my parents if I could go by my middle name, Quinn, to symbolize my fresh start. We went to the high school the next day to make it official. Lucy Caboosey was dead. I am Quinn Fabray.

Wow, Quinn. That is quite a story. Mine isn't so dramatic. I kinda knew that I was different at an early age. I was a tomboy who would rather play football and G.I. Joes with Miguel, my older brother and Jorge. I didn't like wearing dresses or playing with Barbies. As I began middle school, I started noticing girls instead of boys. In order to stop that, I became more feminine: dresses, caring about my hair and what I looked like. After my transformation in 8th grade, the boys took notice. The summer before freshman year, my boobs came in. I knew that I couldn't let anyone know I liked girls. So, I wore a mask. I joined the cheerleading squad, even though I would have rather played soccer or basketball. I let everyone think I wasn't a virgin when I still was. I developed a hard, bitchy exterior. It was self-preservation.

Well, Santana. We have both been through a lot, haven't we?

This time, it is Quinn who reaches over the table to clasp her hand.

The dinner goes by quickly, with easy, steady conversation. They fight over the check until Quinn insists she asked her out so she is paying. Santana is learning that Quinn is stubborn and gets what she wants. Afterwards, they walk over to Boston Beer Works for a nightcap. This is the best 1st. date Quinn has ever been on. Truthfully, hands down, it is the best date she has ever been on. It was different with Rachel. They were friends for so long. They didn't have this get-to-know-you phase since they already knew everything about each other. Her other 1st dates ran the gamut from complete diaster to being promising. Unfortunately, by date #3, most people were thrown off when she revealed Beth. It was too much to handle. Santana was accepting right away. She wanted to hear about her daughter. She wanted to more about her and Quinn wanted to know everything about Santana. She doesn't want the night to end. After last call, she walks Santana home.

Quinn, I had a wonderful time tonight. Thank you for a lovely evening.

Yeah, Santana. I had a great time getting to know you. Sorry that I talked so much.

No worries Quinn. I guess we'll just have to go out on another date. Next time, it will be on me, since you are such a gentlewoman.

Santana opens her arms, enveloping Quinn. She releases Quinn, looking at her perfectly kissable lips. Quinn licks her lips, biting her bottom lip in response. Again, she takes a leap of faith, moving her head forward, before closing her eyes, connecting their lips. It is even better that she imagined. Santana reacts to the kiss by kissing her back. It is a tender, gentle, full of promise kiss. When they separate , they both have wide grins, stretching from ear to ear.

Good night, Santana.

Good night, Quinn.

As Quinn lies in bed that night, staring up at the ceiling, she replays moments from her date with Santana. She falls asleep with a smile on her face. She prays that she will see Santana in the morning, playing her guitar at the T stop.