Wheeljack's Laughter
by K. Stonham
first released 28th May 2009
The night of their third solar cycle marooned on the planet, Cheetor jerked out of recharge, fuel pump pounding, as a large boom rocked the ship. "Predacon attack!" he cried immediately, racing out of his chambers, automatically checking his power charge and weapons status.
He skidded onto the bridge far faster than any of the others would have managed. "Ratface!" he cried to the figure at the control panel, "what's happening?"
Rattrap turned around to look at him, puzzlement--but oddly no alarm--writ large across his face.
Light flashed across the monitors, followed by another boom that rocked the downed spacecraft.
"We're under attack!" Cheetor cried. "What are they using? Is it some kind of energy weapon, or--"
"Kid," Rattrap interrupted, his tone as much as saying his patience could only be tested so far, "what are you going on about?"
"That!" Cheetor replied, pointing to the screen where light flashed again.
Rattrap's optical sensors blinked once, then his head fell forward, hand covering his face. Two digits massaged the plating of his temples. "Primus but cats are stupid..." he muttered.
"It's... not an attack?" Cheetor asked, weapons status downgrading slowly from imminent readiness to standby.
"It's an atmospheric phenomenon known as lightning and thunder," Rhinox rumbled from behind Cheetor, coming to the bridge himself. "Never seen it this up close before, though."
"We always called it Wheeljack's Laughter where I was formatted," Rattrap replied, turning back to his monitors. "Ain't it beautiful?"
"Not that beautiful," Cheetor replied as it rocked the ship again, making his fur-sensors tingle uncomfortably.
Rhinox was looking at Rattrap, though. "Wouldn't've thought you'd know about Wheeljack," he commented. "You don't sound like you're from Iacon."
The rodent-former shrugged. "I get around. Went through some training. The old man had us do runs through his lab. Picked up some neat tricks."
Cheetor stared at Rattrap, wide-opticked. "You've been in Wheeljack's Lab?" he demanded. "That place's haunted!"
"There's a world of difference between 'haunted' and 'boobytrapped'," Rattrap replied acerbically. Pellets of ice were rattling against the forward viewscreens. "Anyway, if I ain't afraid of livin' Preds, ain't no way I'm gonna be scared of dead Autobots. Even if they did like to make things go boom."
Light flashed again and the thunder shook the ship. Rattrap turned back to the monitors, a small smile on his faceplates, now hidden from his crewmates. "To the things that go bang in the night," he murmured, too low to be heard, in salute to a long-dead engineer.
Outside the ship, Wheeljack kept laughing all night long.
~*~*~
A/N: I don't know if the "old man" Rattrap refers to who taught him the art of espionage is Kup or Jazz. He wasn't telling me. As to the boobytrapped aspect of 'Jack's lab... well, I figure there has to be a reason no one, either Autobot or Decepticon, disturbed it during the four million years he was in stasis on Earth....
